The crew sat at the dining room table awaiting the arrival of their breakfast. Several of them played with their spoons flicking them back and forth at each other. The first mate, sitting with his arms crossed in front of his chest, rolled his eyes at this. This wouldn't be allowed if he was captain, he thought to himself sending a hidden glare over at the curtain one.
Next to him sat Jacoby, his long braided beard for once did not have smoke rising from it, sat with a look of betrayal on his face. He had been the ships cook before the girl arrived, and he felt this was totally "No fair!"
A little ways away from him sat our two heroes; Ragetti the most anxious of the two. He loved to eat and he was hungry. "Yer wife is slower than molasses in June." He complained to Pintel.
"January." Pintel corrected him, a confused expression forming on his friend's face. "It would be "She is slower than molasses in January. June is a warm month so the molasses would there be warm and pour right on out."
The younger pirate frowned; he was always being corrected by the older man. He never said anything, but he didn't like it. It made him feel very stupid, and he was a lot smarter than people gave him credit for. At least that's what he thought He only acted that stupid to cover up for the other's belligerent comments, and not only that but to hide another thing the crew did not know about the pair.
Ragetti pulled a face. "Fine, she's slow either way." He replied.
What the crew didn't know, was even though she may have been a poor girl she knew almost absolutely nothing about cooking. It had been her mother who cooked all the meals, she usually spent most of her time sewing or helping her father in the stables. It took a while but she finally figured out enough to make something that was hopefully suitable for human consumption. Though she doubted most of these pirates would even fit that category.
"It's about bloody time." Barbossa rebuked her as she brought the pot of mush in, setting it on the table in front of them. "Did ye cut up me apples?" He asked.
"No, I kind of…forgot." She answered timidly. "But I'll get them right now."
He scrunched up his weathered scarred face, giving her a nod. "It's yer first time, I'll let it slide. But not next time." He warned her sternly, he enjoyed making her shake in fear, it was so easy.
Jack leaned forward in his chair to investigate what had been offered to them. "Well, I guess it's better than…" He couldn't think of anything that he had seen in the last decade that looked as bad as this. "It's something to eat." He finally relented. "Or swallow as ye plug yer nose and chase it down with Rum. Lots of rum."
Grapple took the serving spoon in his hand, dishing some of the goop in his bowl. He looked up with a look of leeriness, "Are ye sure we don't have any cake?" He asked in an almost pleading voice. He'd seen more things in the head more appetizing then what the new cook had prepared.
Wanting to take a look for himself, Ragetti stood up and leaned over the table. "Yep, looks just as bad as they say it does." He reaffirmed looking back at Pintel.
Pintel shook his head and looked over at Jack, looking at him more like a disgruntled postal worker than a pirate. His captain had stuck him with a wife he did not want, who wouldn't stop whimpering and whining, and now to make matters worse she couldn't even cook! Now what else was going to be revealed that would unravel his life even more?
"Yes, not even the supplement of apples is going to solve this." Barbossa added in disgust.
"I beginning to believe I may have made a mistake by naming her cook." Jack admitted reluctantly. He could not remember any other instant where he had been wrong, even though his crew could attest otherwise.
"Ye think so, Jack?" Barbossa said sharply. "What made ye think it was a wise idea to begin with?"
Jack thought back for a moment. "Right, well…" He paused to clear his throat." She is a girl, girlys cook…normally!" He added the last word quickly. "Gazelle and Scarlet couldn't cook to save the lives…Tia…" He mumbled and then shook his head looking.
"I think we should put Jacoby back as cook!" Grapple piped up.
"Aye!" Koehler said in agreement, "This stuff ain't fit to dump to the sharks!"
A few other pirates voiced their opinions, Twigg of course stated the obvious. "She don't know how to cook mush!"
Ragetti looked over at Pintel and whispered to him. "So only girlys can cook?" He asked him a little confused by this.
"Well women usually are homemakers and know how to cook. So, yes they usually are better than men." Pintel explained to him, he wasn't feeling very patient at the moment and this question did not help.
"Oh." Ragetti nodded, he was starting to understand but a few things were still unclear. "Sos if Jacoby's a better cook than all o' us, then does that mean he's a girly?" His eyes widened at the thought of that.
Pintel groaned and rolled his eyes. If the grim reaper came at that moment to take someone else in the crew, he would definitely ask to take their place, if only to get away from these kinds of questions.
The silence was translated into a yes by Ragetti. "HE IS!" He exclaimed loudly, drawing the attention from other members of the crew to him. Feeling completely embarrassed he quickly smiled sheepishly at them before turning back to Pintel. "I don't think he is though." He protested, quieter this time.
"Oh, really?" Pintel retorted, narrowing his eyes at him. "What was yer first clue? The beard on his face, maybe."
"No," his friend replied seriously. "I've seen girlys with beards before."
Now this was something that Pintel had to hear, even though considering the source the story wouldn't amount to much. "Where?" He gruffly asked.
"At the circus."
"At the circus!" Pintel rejoined.
Ragetti nodded, "At the circus," He repeated. "It was a side show they had with all kinds o' freaks and the like. She was this big ole woman, she kind of reminded me of ye a bit. But she had…" He stopped in the middle of the last sentence as he felt the point of Pintel's pistol in side. "I'll stop." He then mumbled under his breath. "Someone got up on the wrong side of the hammock this morning."
Pintel heard it but only mimicked him in reply. He turned his attention back to the others. They were still discussing the subject of what to do with the new cook, Barbossa had noted she still not brought in his bloody apple slices. The rest of them were waiting upon Jack's decision.
"Gentleman," Jack started. "Let's think this o'er a minute, it is her first day after all. How about we put Jacoby back in the Galley but only to show her the ropes, then he can go back to the more manly job he's doing now."
The men exchanged looks to see how the others reacted to this suggestion. Their request had been granted but only as far as Jacoby being back to teach this female to cook. It was better than nothing, they guessed.
Jack looked over at Jacoby and raised an eyebrow. "Does that suit ye, mate?" He asked.
A pout grew on Jacoby's bearded face. "No fair!" He wanted to be full time cook; it was a manly job no matter what the captain said.
"Then it's settled then!" Jack said clasping his hands together. "Now lets see if we scrounge something else up." He wrinkled his nose. "I don't trust her cooking."