Disclaimer: Maybe I can barter with Dick to give me partial ownership...

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"Oh Liv, this place is absolutely beautiful!" Alex said as they sat down at their table and opened their menus. "It's so expensive though."

"Yes, it is," she answered with a smile on her face. "But you're worth it. You get what you pay for here and the food is delicious. It's a beautiful restaurant for a beautiful woman. Now look at the menu and pick out whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?"

"Yes. It's on me tonight, and don't even think about worrying what this is going to cost. I've been setting aside some money so I could treat you tonight. I've got it covered."

Alex nodded and started looking over the menu. Everything looked so good, but it was all so expensive. She felt bad that Olivia was spending so much money on her, yet at the same time, she could see the eagerness in Olivia's eyes. Does she really want to do this for me? She shook her head and smiled as she tried to decide what she wanted.

"Good evening ladies," a waitress said as she approached their table. "My name is Courtney and I'll be your waitress tonight. Can I start you out with something to drink?"

"Oh, um," Alex answered. She hadn't even begun to think what she wanted to eat, let alone what she wanted to drink. "I think I'll just have water."

"Water," Courtney nodded as she wrote on her pad. "And you miss?"

Olivia smiled at Alex's order, though she didn't say anything. "Could I have a virgin strawberry daiquiri please?"

"Absolutely. Are you ready to order or do you still need a few minutes?"

"I think we need a few more minutes to look over the menu," Olivia answered.

"Take your time. I'll be back with your drinks in a few minutes."

"Thank you," they both answered.

"The Spring Vegetable Casserole looks good," Olivia suggested once the waitress had left to retrieve their drinks. We could split that and get something at the end of the menu. They have a list of things that are supposed to be split with everyone at the table."

Alex nodded at the suggestion of the vegetable casserole, then flipped through the menu until she saw the end section. Her eyes widened in shock. "Liv, those items cost one hundred and thirty – five dollars! I can't do that to you!"

"Alex, we'd split it. It's okay."

She shook her head. "Liv, it's too expensive. Please, let me pick something that doesn't cost so much. I don't want you to spend that much on me."

Olivia took Alex's hand and smiled. "Alex, like I said, we'd split it. If you think about it, it's cheaper doing it this way than if we ordered separate appetizers and entrees anyway. Please Alex, I want to do this for you."

"The lobster ravioli does look really good," she finally admitted. The truth was, that was the item that had first caught her eye, but she had immediately dismissed the idea. It was way too expensive. She would simply choose something else. There were a lot of other very delicious choices that she could choose from.

"Then we should get the lobster ravioli."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. We'll get it and we'll enjoy it."

She nodded slightly in hesitant agreement. Was this really happening? Was her life really turning in this amazing direction? Was Olivia really doing this because she wanted to? As she and Olivia held hands, she looked her in the eyes and smiled. The answer to all those questions was a very definite yes.

Olivia squeezed Alex's hands gently and smiled. She wanted so desperately for Alex to see the same amazing and beautiful woman that she saw. Before she could say anything, Courtney returned with their drinks and asked if they were ready to order.

"I think we're going to start out with the vegetable casserole, then share the lobster ravioli." Olivia told her.

"Excellent choices," Courtney answered. I'll put your order in right away. Would you like the vegetables as an appetizer or would you like them to come out with your lobster?"

"Appetizer, please."

"I'll bring it out shortly."

"Thank you."

"Yeah," Alex said. "Thank you."

Olivia's gaze turned slightly more serious. "You don't have to thank me Alex. You and me, we're together now. That means we do things for each other. It means we can treat each other to dinner occasionally. It means I love you more than anything else in this world, and I want to do everything in my power to make you happy."

Tears welled in Alex's eyes as she heard Olivia's words. She wanted to believe them, and on some level, she did. This was hard. Sometimes she truly believed everything Olivia told her, yet at other times, she had a hard time doing so. For some reason, this was one of those times. "Liv, I…"

"You deserved to go out and have a nice dinner tonight," Olivia said sternly. "You deserve to be happy, Alex. You deserve to be treated with love." As Alex looked away in shame, she squeezed her hands. "I love you, Alex. I know nobody ever showed you any love when you were growing up, and I know that it's hard for you to believe anyone could possibly love you, but it's the truth. Casey loves you. Jess loves you. I love you. All the guys at the station love you. You have a family now, Alex. You have a family who loves you very, very much."

Alex looked away. She wasn't sure how to respond. She wanted so desperately to believe every word coming from Olivia's mouth, but she was terrified of allowing herself to do so. She was terrified that if she finally allowed herself to be loved, that love would be ripped away from her before she could do anything to stop it.

"I will love you forever, Alex, no matter what."

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"I just want to be able to walk under a nice arbor with white flowers around it," Jess said as she sat down with Allen to discuss wedding plans. "It'll be nice and simple, yet beautiful at the same time."

"Are you sure that's all you want? We could have other flowers or arrangements or something. I feel like this is so simple."

She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Yes, well, that's the point. I want it to be simple. We'll have nice white chairs for our guests, a podium for the priest, and an arbor for me to walk under."

"Maybe we should have a stage, nothing fancy or anything, but a stage nonetheless. We want our guests to actually be able to see us, right? What if it's just a little platform or something?"

She thought about it for a minute before nodding in agreement. "You're probably right. Just make sure it's a small platform. I don't want to be way up high or anything."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he laughed as he started sketching a simple example of how they wanted everything to look. He drew a small arbor with white roses and daisies wrapped around it starting at the bottom. He drew ten chairs on each side of the aisle, figuring they wouldn't have more than ten guests each, if that. In front of the chairs, he drew the platform, and on top of the platform, he drew the podium. He looked at it and frowned at its simplicity. "Are you sure this is all you want? I mean, weddings are supposed to be huge and fun and stuff. Don't you want more?"

"Allen, if you want a larger wedding, just tell me."

He shook his head. "No, it's not that. It's just…well I know how much weddings usually mean to the girls. I want you to have something special. I want this to be something you'll always remember."

She smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "I'll be marrying you. It'll be a night I'll never forget. Please don't feel like you have to make this some huge, extravagant wedding. If you want to add something to it, just do it. Let me know what you want. This isn't my wedding. It's our wedding."

He cupped her face in his right hand and kissed her lightly. "God, I love you. Thank you so much for accepting my proposal. I was so terrified that you would run away and never come back."

She blushed and looked away. "I kind of did run away."

"Yeah, but only for a few minutes. You came back. That's what matters. You came back and told me you loved me. That's what's important." He smiled eagerly as he looked at his drawing. "You do realize that May is only three months away, right?"

"Yep. That's yet another reason to keep this simple. We'll rent a spot in Central Park, get a priest, and that's it. Who all are you planning on inviting?"

He scrunched up his face in an effort to figure out who would be on his invite list. "I was thinking my moms and my grandparents. Maybe Kevin and Nick – remember them from school?" when she nodded, he continued. "I don't know. Of course we'd have to invite all the guys and Liv and Alex and Casey. I don't know who else to invite."

"I don't either. I don't have any family except Alex anyways. Looks like our guest list is going to be incredibly short."

"It'll still be nice."

"Well, that's only because I'm marrying you."

"Nope."

"Really?"

"It's because I'm the one marrying you."

They laughed as they put away the drawing. It was done. All they had left to do now was rent out a spot in the park, find a priest, and let everyone know the date. They were sure everyone would be able to get a Saturday off anyway, so they weren't worried. "We've got to be the only ones in the world who aren't even the least bit worried about planning a wedding in three months," Allen said as they climbed into bed that evening.

"Yeah well, we still need to find a decent priest. I'm not looking in the yellow pages. I don't want any 1-800-PICK-A-PRIEST. I want a real one."

"I think I remember Alex saying something about Cragen knowing a good one. I'll give him a call tomorrow."

"Good."

"We're getting married in three months!"

She couldn't keep the huge grin off her face. "I know! Are you excited?"

"Ecstatic. You?"

"Absolutely. I love you."

"I love you, too."

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Dinner that night had been simply amazing for both Alex and Olivia. They had both enjoyed the vegetable casserole as well as the lobster ravioli. It was an incredible evening, but Olivia could sense the fear in Alex's mind the entire time. Alex was spiraling downhill fast, and Olivia was worried. She continually shied away from Olivia's touch and refused to look up when Olivia told her she loved her. Olivia just prayed that this was because of the events earlier in the day, rather than something much larger.

That night, in bed, Alex once again pulled away from Olivia. As soon as Olivia's arm started to wrap around her and she tried to kiss her, Alex pulled away. "Please, Liv," she begged. "Please not tonight. I can't."

Olivia tried her best not to let her disappointment show. She could see the fear in Alex's eyes as she uttered those words. "Okay," she said as she smiled and pushed the hair out of Alex's face.

"I'm so sorry. It's just been such a long day and I'm exhausted and –"

"It's okay," Olivia assured her. She hated that Alex was pushing her away, both physically and emotionally. It had started the second they had sat down at their table at Le Cirque. Olivia knew it had been a hard day for Alex, so she decided to give her some space. She just prayed Alex opened up soon, prayed that she allowed herself to feel loved. "I love you so much," she whispered as she felt Alex finally relaxing next to her. "I will never, ever stop loving you. Never. I love you, Alex. I love you."

Those words pulled Alex from the sleep she so desperately wanted to disappear into. They were just three words. Three simple words, yet they were strong enough to move mountains. Her body shook as she tried to fight the tears. She felt Olivia hesitantly put a loving arm around her, and she gave up fighting. She let the tears fall. "I don't deserve you. You shouldn't have to do all this, Liv. I'm not worth it."

Olivia wrapped her other arm around her and allowed Alex to rest her head against her chest. She gently brushed the hair out of her eyes and ran her fingers through it. "Oh, honey," she said, trying to fight her own tears. "You deserve all the happiness in the world."

Alex shook her head. "But you shouldn't have to deal with all this!"

Olivia stopped combing her fingers through Alex's hair and turned her head so they were facing each other. "Alex listen to me," she said sternly. "I don't have to do any of this. I want to do it. I want to make you happy because I love you, because you deserve it. I just wish I could do more. Sitting here telling you I love you seems like I'm not doing nearly enough." She kissed the top of Alex's head and continued combing her hair with her fingers.

"Liv," Alex said, her voice shaky. "Do you have any idea how much you've done for me? You have stayed with me this entire time. You have continuously held me and let me cry whenever I needed to, no matter what. You have repeatedly told me you love me even when I felt most unlovable. You weren't disgusted when you saw my scars. You have shown me more love than I've ever seen before. I just…I feel so bad that you're doing all of this. I feel like you're doing so much for me and giving me so much and I've got nothing to give in return."

Tears poured down Olivia's cheeks as she listened to Alex's confession. She wrapped her arms tightly around the woman and rubbed her back. "You've given me everything I could ever, ever want. Every single morning that I wake up and see you next to me, I know I have everything I need to be happy, because I have you. I need you in my life Alex. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Yes, I've accepted you, but you've also accepted me. That's what makes us so great. We're a team, Alex. We love and accept each other. That's what we're all about. I love you, Alex. I love you so much."

Alex was sobbing so hard she could barely breathe. "I-I l-love you t-too," she forced out. "I love you, too." She relaxed her head against Olivia's chest and allowed herself to feel the love she so desperately needed. It was terrifying and wonderful at the same time. Slowly but surely, she was allowing herself to feel loved. Ever since the first time she'd heard Olivia utter those words, she desperately wanted to believe them, yet they terrified her as well. Allowing herself to believe them meant she was completely putting her trust in Olivia. That had never been an option before. Now, however, she felt ready to do it. "Thank you."

Olivia smiled with relief. "I love you, Alex. Get some rest. I'll be right here when you wake up, I promise."

"I know you will. Good night."

"Good night, sweetie."

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"We need to do something about Casey," Jess told Alex at lunch three days after the horrible scene in the courtroom. "I haven't heard from her and she won't answer her phone. I'm getting worried."

Alex shoved a forkful of salad into her mouth and nodded. "She hasn't been back to work since. I talked to Steve and he said she only gets out of bed to go to the bathroom. She's not eating much either."

"Robin Williams and Oreos?"

Alex smiled and nodded. "Robin Williams and Oreos."

"When?"

"I actually don't have anything to do today. I'm only here to finish some paperwork, but that can wait. I want to see her as soon as possible. I don't like what I'm hearing from Steve. When are you free?"

She thought for a minute and nodded. "We can do it today. I have some brochures to finish but I think I might be able to get Allen to do them. There's not a whole lot left to do and Casey's a hell of a lot more important than some brochures."

"Do you want to go now?"

Jess nodded. "I think we should. Do you want to just show up or should we call first?"

"I'll give Steve's cell a call. We should stop by your place and pick up the movie."

"Sounds like a plan. Let's go."

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"Casey, honey," Steve said softly as he entered the bedroom. He frowned as he saw her still lying in bed. It had only been three days, yet she looked like she'd gone weeks without food or sunlight. Her normally pale complexion was even paler, and he could see her shoulder bones protruding more than normal. He sat next to her and held her hand. "How would you feel about having some visitors today?"

"Who would want to visit me?"

"A lot of people have been calling. Everyone's worried honey." He paused and squeezed her hand. "Please sweetie, let these people help you today."

She gave him an inquisitive look. "Who'd you call? Are you hauling me off to some psych ward or something? I figured you would, especially since I seem to be going crazy right now."

He laughed slightly. "Case, it's nothing like that, I promise. Just please, try to let yourself feel something other than guilt today. If it's killing me to see you like this, I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now." He leaned into her and wrapped an arm around her. "I love you, Case."

"I love you, too. I'm so sorry Steve. I just…this whole case and everything that happened the other day. I can't…I feel like…"

"It's okay, honey," he assured her. "I won't tell you who's coming over. I want that to be a surprise. Just please, try to give them a chance. They'll make you feel better, I promise."

She nodded slightly and wiped away a tear. "Okay," she whispered.

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With the movie and several bags of Oreos, Alex and Jess approached Casey's house and rang the bell. They smiled when Steve opened the door. "Thanks for letting us come over on such short notice," Alex said as he let them in.

"Guys, don't thank me. I should be the one thanking you. I've been so worried about her. She's not doing too well right now. She feels terrible about what happened."

"I know. That's why we're here. Olivia really wanted to come, too, but she got stuck at work. Jess and I will have to do."

He smiled at the two of them. "Well thank you both. She's in our room. I told her that I'd be running some errands. I think she needs some time with just the two of you. She can call me if she needs to though. My phone will be on."

"We've got her, Steve," Jess spoke for the first time. While she knew things between her and Steve were okay now, she still felt awkward. "We'll take good care of her, I promise."

He sighed and nodded. "Okay, thanks. I'll be home in a few hours."

As soon as he left, Alex and Jess slowly headed to Casey's room. They frowned as they saw her defeated form lying on the bed. "Oh, Casey," Alex said softly as she made her way slowly to the bed. "I'm so sorry. I should have called you sooner."

Casey sat up slowly and was surprised to feel Alex's arms wrap around her. "You're sorry?" she asked in disbelief. "Alex I should be the one apologizing. I am so sorry about what happened. I knew he was up to something and I swear to you if I had any idea what he was going to do I –"

"Shh, Case stop," Alex said gently as she rubbed her back. "Please don't do this to yourself. None of what happened was your fault. I know you did your best and I thank you so, so much for that. You put your entire life on hold to prepare for my trial. There's no way you or anyone else could have seen this coming." She forced Casey's head up so their eyes met, and then she smiled. "There's no way I would ever have had the courage to get through this trial if it had been anyone other than you prosecuting, and I wouldn't change a thing if it meant I had to do it with someone else. You did a great job Casey. I love you so much for everything you did. You worked your ass off and I could tell. Please don't feel bad about it. It wasn't your fault."

"You promise you're not mad?"

"Oh yes. I'm not even the least bit mad at you."

"But what happened, Alex! I saw the look in your eyes and after Jennings went nuts and Simpkins didn't try to stop it and –"

"And it wasn't your fault." She paused and let Casey absorb her words. "Come on. Jess is waiting for us in the living room."

"She came, too?"

"Yep, and we brought Robin Williams and Oreos. That combination has helped cheer both of us up several times, and we figured it would do the same for you. Come join us. I promise you won't regret it."

"I haven't showered in three days…I look a mess!"

"Then take a quick one and come join us."

A small and grateful smile appeared on her face as she stood and began gathering her things. "Thanks Alex. I'm so –"

"Don't you dare finish that apology. Go take your shower. Jess and I will be waiting when you're done. I promise this is going to be okay."

"I'll see you two when I'm done."

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Olivia sat at her computer and tried her best to figure out what she was going to do for their one-year anniversary. Yes it was nearly six months away, but she wanted it to be something amazing. She remembered Alex saying something about loving cruises. She had been on several, Olivia remembered, but had never been on a European one. Olivia smiled as she decided what she wanted to get her for their anniversary. She began researching and found that they offered all-gay cruises. This was even better. Alex was still a little hesitant around other people. She was always scared people were staring. If they were surrounded by others like them, she knew Alex would have a much better time. After researching for hours, she found one that went from Barcelona to Athens. It was a nine-day cruise and it was perfect. As she began researching the price, she started getting discouraged. The airfare plus a room with a balcony, which she desperately wanted, was going to cost nearly six thousand dollars. She didn't have nearly enough money to do that. Just as she was about to give up, she decided that she would do something she would never imagine herself doing if it weren't for her love for Alex. As soon she knew she could get a moment alone with Jess, she would ask to borrow the money. She knew Jess would gladly give it to her, but she still felt weird asking for the money.

"Just do it, Liv," she told herself as she looked at the site. "Alex is worth a hell of a lot more than your pride." She smiled as she scrolled through all the pictures the site had and couldn't conceal her excitement. The cruise looked amazingly fun and the points of interest were beautiful. This was it. She was taking Alex on a cruise for their one-year anniversary. She couldn't wait.

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Okay, I'm thinking one or two more chapters then this story will be over. It's sad, I know, but I'm making a sequal…