Haley walked to Brooke's house to give her more time to sort out her thoughts and plan exactly what she wanted to say. She was still trying to decide if she actually wanted to say anything when she found herself at Brooke's front door.
Haley took a deep breath before she knocked. Lord help me. She thought as Brooke opened the door.
"Hi," Brooke said with a smile. It was that smile and that voice that made everything so much harder for Haley.
"Hey," she said returning the smile. "How are you?" She asked as Brooke moved to the side to let her in.
"I'd be better if yesterday didn't happen," Brooke said flashing Haley her trademark smirk. "But other than that I'm well. You?"
"I'm good. Thanks." Haley said starting to get nervous again. "I um..I kinda needed to talk to you. Is that ok?"
"As long as you say you want me back, it is," Brooke said jokingly leading the way to her bedroom.
They were silent for five minutes after they got in the room. Haley walking around the room looking at old photos, and Brooke sitting on the bed watching her amused.
"So..." Brooke said getting up off the bed and walking up behind Haley wrapping her arms around her waist and resting her chin on the shorter girl's shoulder. "What ya looking at?"
Haley felt chills run down her spine as Brooke's warm breath hit her neck. "Just some old pictures of us."
"I loved that day," Brooke said pointing at a picture of the two of them at Six Flags.
"Yeah me, too." Haley said putting the picture back in it's spot.
"So what's going on Hales?" Brooke asked turning Haley around to face her. Haley looked her in the eyes searching for the words to say.
"I love you Brooke. You know that, right?" Great Haley tell the girl you love her.
"Yeah I know. I love you too, baby." Brooke said with a huge smile on her face. I knew she would come back. Brooke thought triumphantly.
"I really care about you. And I would never do anything to hurt you. You're my soul mate for crying out loud." Haley said beginning to ramble.
"Hales calm down. I know all of that." Brooke said placing a light hand on Haley's cheek. "And I love you for it."
Haley gave Brooke a weak smile and took a deep breath. "We can't . . . I can't . . . we . . . I can't let us get back together Brooke. I can't keep doing this." Brooke stood looking at the girl utter shock shown on her face.
"Excuse me? You can't? Why not? You just said you love me . . . that we're soul mates." Brooke paused long enough to breathe then continued. "What is it Haley? Are you scared of what people will think? News flash Haley . . . you cannot please everyone. Besides everyone we know already knows." Brooke moved so she was right in Haley's face. "Who cares what people think?"
"Brooke . . . " Haley said before being cut off again.
"You can't do this to yourself Hales. You can't do this to me. I won't let you. I won't let you ruin something great because you're afraid of people." Brooke said with her hands on Haley's shoulders.
"It's not about what people think Brooke. I didn't care about that before and I don't care about that now."
"Then why? Why if you love me are you doing this?"
"I'm doing this because I love you Brooke." Brooke stood there looking confused. "You know what never mind."
"What the hell are you talking about? You know what? You stopped making since about," Brooke looked at her watch, "25 hours ago."
"Brooke when you love someone you do what's best for them in the long run. Not just what feels right at the moment."
"If you love someone why would you break up with them?" Brooke asked before thinking about what Haley had just said. A few seconds later it all clicked with her. "You've been going to church," Brooke said barely above a whisper.
"Huh?"
"You've been going to church. This is because it's "wrong," isn't it?" Brooke asked making air quotes around the word wrong.
"Don't say it like that Brooke."
"Damn it Haley! I can't believe you're doing this. How can you pick what's written in some old book hundreds of years ago over what we have?"
"It's not just some book Brooke. It's the Bible. It's what God said."
"Oh so God had a voice recorder and made the Bible? Wait I know the answer to that. NO! He didn't. It's a book. A book written by people. How can you just . . . how can you go by what some ancient guy wrote? It doesn't make sense Haley. It's a cop out if you ask me. You're hiding behind some words on a page of a book."
"You don't get it do you?" Haley snapped at Brooke, which neither of the girls expected. "It's not just words on a page. But YOU wouldn't get that. You've never tried to understand that." Brooke tried to interrupt just to be cut off by Haley. "No, it's my turn. You've never wanted to understand it. You've always wanted me to just forget it. To push my background and how I was raised to the back of my mind. And as much as I love you, as much as I wish I could do just that I can't. Because it's so so much deeper than just words on a page. It's something that can't really even be explained unless the person you're talking to has felt it too. It's a feeling. It's a knowing that's so much stronger than anything. It's something that just cannot be ignored, Brooke. You have to understand that if I could I would. I'd make it go away. I would fill that hole I get on the inside anytime I try and break away from what I know is right."
Brooke stood in silence trying to soak in everything that Haley had just said. Haley was right. She had never really asked or really tried to understand. But that wasn't the point. The point was that Haley was just hiding, hiding behind religion. "Didn't God say you're supposed to love people? How can love be wrong, Haley? How can something so strong and so true be wrong?"
"I don't know. I'm not saying that I can give you detailed answers and reasons for this. I can't. You don't understand how hard this is going to be for me. I want nothing more than to just be with you forever. To kiss you, to hold you, to know that you're mine. But I can't do that anymore. I have to end it."
"That's bull Haley and you know it. You don't know because loving someone isn't wrong. You're hiding behind religion because you're scared. You're hiding behind a religion something that was probably made up just to make people feel better about themselves. You're scared Haley and I can understand that. I'd do anything to show you that it's all going to be ok but you have to let me. You have to let me." Brooke said almost pleading. "Please just let me."
"I can't. I want to but I can't. I don't think you understand how much this kills me. I love you so much and so deep that sometimes it actually hurts to not be around you. It hurts to not hold you. To know that I'll have to see you around town with someone else. It hurts so bad right here," she said gesturing toward her heart. "But the bottom line is, I can't ignore the other just to fulfill the other." Brooke scoffed. "Yeah I know it seems like I'm doing just that. Ignoring you to fulfill this other. And maybe I am. But at the end of the day I'll know that I'm doing the right thing. I know you're getting tired of hearing that phrase. But Brooke, you don't get it. You've never been a church person. So you can't tell me that it isn't real. You've never felt what I've felt when I'm all alone and I know that He is there with me. You've never felt something like this. Something so real and so tangible but intangible at the same time. You can't tell me it's not real, Brooke, because I've felt it. You weren't there when I was younger and my parents were gone for weeks at a time. You did NOT feel what I felt when He wrapped His arms around me. I felt that Brooke." Haley said tears now running down her face.
"Haley . . . I. I love you Haley." That was it. That was all Brooke could manage to say.
"Enough to at least try and understand?"
"I'm already trying," Brooke said giving her a weak smile.
Ok so there it is. I hope it didn't suck and I also hope I didn't offend anyone with it. I could or could not add more to this fic. That all depends on what you people want. So read and tell me what you think. I would really like to say that I wasn't trying to come down hard on people who have ever been on either side of this situation. Anyway any feedback would be great.