A/N: Zuko's first lecherous come on. Awww! It's my personal favorite, so far.

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

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Part Four: The Pincher

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Iroh stood at a produce stand, admiring the selection of melons. There were very few of them, but they were all at the peak of their ripeness, and in very good condition. Zuko stood to his right, trying to look interested in fruit.

"Do you prefer melon or berries?" Iroh asked, picking up a melon and knocking on it with his fist.

"Whatever's cheaper," Zuko replied tightly, reaching for a mango. Suddenly, he yelped and dropped it.

"Is something wrong?" Iroh asked, watching Zuko rub his behind and glance at the woman who stood beside him, deeply involved in her fruit.

"...Nothing." He turned back to the mangos, but Iroh kept his eye on the woman.

She was inspecting a papaya when her attention turned from fruit to Zuko. With a sidelong glance and a wicked grin, she leaned over a bit, reached out, and...

"Ouch!" Zuko grabbed his backside and jumped up a little.

Iroh knew a pincher when he saw one, and wondered what exactly would happen next.

Zuko glared at the woman, who winked at him and grinned even wider. He sidled away from her and leaned in toward Iroh. "This woman is insane," he whispered, casting a slightly confused glance in her direction.

She waggled her eyebrows at him.

It was at that moment that Iroh found himself trying very desperately not to laugh. "I think she likes you," he prodded, his voice strained from the effort.

"Likes me? She's pinching me!" He glanced back at the woman, and she clicked her teeth, growling. "I think she's going to bite me!"

Iroh couldn't hold back the laughter anymore. Life rarely gave him moments of hilarity anymore, so he might as well have cherished it.

"Why are you laughing? Some crazy woman is assaulting me- Ah! Stop that!" Zuko whirled around to face the woman, who still had her hand outstretched. "Do you have a problem with me?"

The woman looked pensive for a moment. "Actually, it's your ass, really. It's too good to be true. I'm just checking to see if it's real." She winked again, on top of it.

Iroh felt his laughter redouble as Zuko turned a brilliant shade of red.

"Papaya?" she offered mildly.

"No!" Zuko grabbed Iroh and stormed off, dragging him along. "And stop laughing at me!"

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