Bare-Back Mountain

Chapter Nine:

I sat underneath a Mora tree and felt like I was asleep. Awake, but asleep. I stared into the horizon, my eyes seeking no particular target, a dazed smile written haphazardly across my face.

He kissed me he kissed me! La la la la la, la!

"Ray…?" My blissful little La-La-Land-of-a-world snapped in two and I directed my attention to a small girl in a cutesy dress with her hair up in smooth but wild curls.

Katie.

"Ray… can we talk?" She seemed very worried, as if a ten ton something or another was sitting on her mind, casting a dark shadow over her consciousness. I sighed and pretended I was mulling the thought of Katie, my arch enemy, talking with me. Me! Ha!

"Sure." I mentally slapped myself. She did looked worried though and she smiled nervously, as though half the battle had been won. Trust me, I put on a better fight then this! It's only round one, bitch! She sat down next to me, keeping a fair amount of distance from me and her hands on her lap.

Then she just sat.

In absolute silence.

I cleared my throat. "Um… you were saying?"

"Well…" She bit her lip. Will you just tell me? "I mean, I want to talk about… everything." Ok, Joe and me, me and her, her and Joe, or all three? Or the world? Maria and I? Maria and Joe! YOU AND MARIA!

My mind was weaving a really twisted tapestry I wanted to have no part of. I figured it'd shut my mind off if I did some talking.

"Who?" Well… I've never been the talkative type.

She took in a deep breath as if to prepare herself. "I saw you and Joe." Her face immediately reddened. Crap. Me and Joe… roughhousing? Singing? Kissing? Or rolling in wild passion on a thought-to-be deserted plane? Shit. None of those were really good to be caught doing (although number one was the best bet). "Is there something I should know?" Now she was staring at me, her eyes filled with a mix of anger and confusion. Her eyes bore into me and I cringed away like a scared, gay child.

"W-well… why didn't you ask Joe?"

"I did."

"And?"

"He wouldn't tell me." At this her throat caught on a rising lump and her eyes filled with pain. Is the whore going to cry? All of a sudden I felt really guilty. I mean, she could be flirtatious but that didn't make her bad. Did it? Here she is, actually trying to have a heart-to-heart with me. No flaming. No accusations (well, not really…). If Joe were kissing some other guy that I discovered on a random night, I'd be hurt too. And then, if he didn't tell me…

I saw the hurt in Katie's eyes and felt it in my own. She was feeling really bad and here I was… I shook my head.

"I'm sorry Katie." I said softly, avoiding her eyes.

"You have to tell me! What's going on?" She sounded a little more angry than before, which frightened me back into her glare. I was caught. She was staring straight down at me, searching my face as if the truth were buried there.

"Katie… I-" I took a deep breath and tore my eyes away. If I had to tell my story, there's no way I could do it while she was staring at me like that. No way. "Whatever you saw… you saw it."

"I saw you kissing!" She blurted out, her hands moving onto the soft grass in protest, fists balled tightly. I just nodded slowly. Kissing? That's not too bad. Plus, I mean… we probably did put on a better show than the fireworks. This made me grin which immediately made me sorry. "YOU SICK BASTARD!"

"No! I wasn't smiling because of that- just- ah!" She threw a stick at me! The bitch threw a stick at me! "Listen to me Katie!" I grabbed her wrists, which were raised above her head in an attempt to mash me into the ground. Tears clung to her lashes and confusion glistened in her eyes. "Joe and I did kiss. I'm not sorry about that. I'm sorry if I hurt you or whatever but…" I had no clue how to tell her this without blatantly stating it.

So I did.

"I think… no- I really like Joe. I don't know his feelings." The truth conked me on the head as I spoke the words I had secretly known, yet hadn't admitted to myself. "I don't know if that was one night or not. I don't know if he's straight still or what…" I trailed off, left in my thoughts. Joe might not like me. That could've been those once in a lifetime moments… that could've been the end and I only thought it was the beginning. I loosened my grip on her wrists, which slid from between my hands and fell limply into her lap, head bent.

"So that's it..?"

"That's it."

She stood, paused as if to say something, then ran off, leaving me under the Mora tree.

"Joe..?" I entered the wooded house, glancing around.
"He's fishing." A cold voice answered my call. It was Kurt. Kurt had his shirt off, leaning over a piece of wood, sweat dripping down his forehead in rivulets. He sawed relentlessly, brow furrowed, grunting at times. I was mesmerized. I stood in the dark doorway, staring in at the low-lit sawdust-covered shop.

"Fishing." I repeated blankly. He nodded and continued his work, not looking up again. Does Joe work this hard? Does he concentrate and pour this much soul into everything? Does he? I walked slowly at the door, taking no glances backward, my eyes only seeking answers.