For the muffin in my stomach,
making me too full to do anything
except write this chapter.

Chapter Six

"Look who it is-the Mudblood Granger..." said the Roguer in an all-too familiar voice. "I see you've grown nicely since our last-ah-parting," he drawled. My face burned, but I knew better than to rise to his bait.

"Funny," he continued, "I assumed you were dead after Lestrange hit you with that Garishing Curse."

"You weren't looking so hot either after Ron's Jelly-legs jinx!" I spat back, losing all pretense. "Tripped right into Voldemort as he was about to finish off Harry; I'll have him send you a thank you card."

I could picture the face twisting into a sneer behind the mask clearer than if I had x-ray vision.

"You were always such a pain, Mudblood. But we can fix that."

I saw the flicker of movement in his robes. I whipped out my wand before he even had a chance.

"Drop it, Malfoy."

"I don't think so, Mudblood. You see, I didn't come into the women's loo to enjoy the scenery, as…fetching…as it's turned out to be…"

He made a sudden movement with his hand, and five cloaked Roguers Apparated in a swirl of black fabric.

And for some wild reason, out of the clear blue skies, I took that moment-not to run, scream for help, or even attempt to try out a few of the new jinxes I've recently learned about in Curses-Conspicuous, Colorful, Contagious, Claustrophobia-Causing and More! . Nope. That would be the reasonable, intelligent, or even instinctive thing to do.

I stood there, gaping.

Because I had suddenly realized why Ron was so mad at George.

Oh my god.

He-

"Ouch!" One of the Roguers had suddenly grabbed my roughly around the middle and the others were closing in.

"That's my foot you-MMMPHH!" One of them had stuffed a gag into my throat.

Really, now.

Fortunately for me, I was the best witch in my year at nonverbal spells- I racked my brain for a good one.

……..

I can't think of any! My mind's gone blank! Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. I'm going to die-and it's because of Malfoy! How humiliating. I hope Ron doesn't find out what happened-maybe Malfoy will leave once he's killed me and nobody'll know…

Wait-What's he doing-oh no you don't-

Ha! At least I can still remember how to knee a guy in the-oh dear-that man has got to be the biggest person I have ever seen (besides Dudley of course. Frankly, I'm surprised the man's legs can stand the crushing force his stomach must have…But this fellow was huge. It's just that 90 of his weight was in his arms. Which didn't help me much. And he was advancing on me...my body was already whimpering from the pain he was bound to inflict on me).

Just when things were starting to look their bleakest, some thing wonderfully fantastic and amazing happened.

The loo door opened. And in walked in two massive women with enormous, shocking-pink handbags clutched in their impossibly long, and equally shockingly-pink fingernails.

Malfoy and his cronies stopped mid-smirk.

"I swear, girl, if he ever tries somthin' like that aginn I am gonna-"

The woman on the right stopped mid-sentence to consider the six men in black robes, cloaks and masks carrying little bits of wood.

"Whatchu doin' to that girl?" she asked her hands planted firmly on her hips.

Malfoy coughed uncomfortably. "Madam, if you would kindly-"

"I said, Whatchu doin' to that girl?"

"Nothing that concerns-OOF!" The woman's enormous handbag flew out of nowhere, smacking Malfoy clean across the face.

The woman looked as dangerous as Mrs. Weasley during menopause (let me just tell you that I don't say that about anyone-especially after she chased Mr.Weasley round their kitchen table with a pair of scissors, threatening to "even the deal" after he suggested she go work on dinner during one of their rows...).

And that was when the sumo-sized thug, strangling me in a headlock, screamed like a little girl.

Everyone in the woman's loo froze. And stared.

"Hermione?" said someone (three guesses who) behind the door. "Is that you?"

"Ron!" I gasped, still half-strangled by the-er-girlman. "In here!"

Ron pushed open the door to find:

a) me, still being strangled by the giant Roguer

b) Malfoy massaging his red cheek and cursing more than Filch during the infamous House-Elf Strike (which, if anyone asks, I had no part in). Heheh-the poor caretaker had to handle all three meals for all four houses and do all the dishes. He could be seen, weeks later, getting into rows with Mrs. Norris, saying this was all her fault, then apologizing over and over to the cat, saying that work was just getting to him and their love could withstand anything...yes, well we knew he was already insane, right?

c) The two hippo-like women glaring at the mass of Roguers, who were looking like deer caught in headlights.

He blinked, drinking in the whole scene. I saw his right hand twitch toward his back pocket.

"Ron-no! They're muggles!" I said, jerking my head toward the two plump women standing matter-of-factly in the circle of frozen Roguers.

"Excuse me?" said one of them.

Oh, crap.

Ron looked at a loss at what to do.

"Not you-"I said, thinking fast, "them". I nodded at the two Roguers behind her.

They hissed.

I stomped my foot in frustration. I was really fed up with this whole situtation now. I didn't care if they pounded me to an inch of my life, I just wanted to get out of the stupid, stinking bar already!

"Alright, LISTEN UP!" I had lost it. "You and you," I said, pointing at the two that had hissed at being called muggles. "Get over yourselves. And LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!"

They stepped forward. Actually, it was more like they glided over. And the lights flickered, then went out.

"What the hell is goin' on?" said one of the women, before she screamed.

"Oh, god," I breathed, "Dementors".

A/n Well, there it is. Chapter Six. And I promise I'll update a LOT faster, now that finals are over and I'm out for the summer. As always, review!