Disclaimer: Lano & Woodley, Black Books, Chuck Norris, Walker. Texas Ranger, Harry Potter, are not owned by me…Unfortunately, if I did own them…well…they wouldn't be at the peak of greatness that they are at right now at this point in time!
Note: This is a strange crossover, and not even I think it makes any sense but it is a little random, and that's not my fault. Thanks to X'andirth for asking me to write a story that crosses over Lano & Woodley and Black Books, it'll be a challenge but I don't care, if you have anything that you want me to add to this story, just review and I will try to add it in!
Once in the land of make believe, Colin Lane and Frank Woodley were having a picnic and discussing things that they had come across in their travels to get to the land of make believe, they were also known as Lano & Woodley.
"Col, do you remember when we were suppose to go on that holiday and I forgot to book the caravan?" Frank asked.
"Franky-boy, your gorgeous but not in a hommus way." Colin replied.
"Col, that's my favourite Lebanese dip!"
Just as they were about to go into the book shop that was across the road from where they were enjoying their picnic, they heard a lot of yelling.
"Manny, where's my breakfast? Can I have a ham sandwich? With a pickle?"
"Bernard, here have this, the beans are under the milk."
"Can we start drinking yet?"
"No Fran, It's only half 10."
"Half 10? I've never been up at half 10, what happens? Manny tell me!"
Frank and Colin, just sat and listened to the conversations around them.
"Col, they don't seem to be having a very good morning in there. I want to buy a book."
"Frank, I think we should go and buy a book, just for you."
They got up off their picnic rug, and walked over to the book shop. They looked at the sign and seemed very confused. The sign said 'clopen'. They walked inside surprised to see the three people that were sitting at the desk. The man behind the desk had shaggy black hair, was wearing all black, smoking a cigarette and swigging out of a wine bottle. The man standing next to the shaggy haired man; had a receding hair line with a comb over and was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. The woman who was sitting on the other side of the desk, had short brown hair, was also smoking a cigarette and swigging from the wine bottle.
"Hello, I am looking for a book to read." Colin said.
"Who buys books at half 10?" Bernard asked.
"I, Chuck Norris, buys books at half 10." Chuck Norris stated.
"Get back in the cupboard, I don't pay you to do anything other than that."
"You don't pay me at all, I think I should go all Walker, Texas Ranger on your ass!"
"Oh no you don't. if you go back in the cupboard I will, let you have…my biscuit, yes you can have this delicious biscuit that I am holding in my hand and am now going to eat."
"Bernard, that's a coaster your eating." Manny said.
"It's quite nice, do we have anymore?"
"I'm leaving now, I don't like living in your cupboard, you could at least give me a room."
"Chuck Norris, you shall never leave this shop, you quartz faced cream puff!"
"I don't think you're being very fair."
"Nothings fair in this life, if this was another lifetime, then maybe we could have been brothers, and go on quests together, but that is not meant to be."
"I don't want to leave, it's a big bad world out there"
"Once, I ran away from Col, and he chased me. he got caught up in a fight with this gang right, then I made a flame thrower and scared them away!" Frank said, for no particular reason.
"Wow, that's amazing, maybe you could write a book and we could have a reading of it here in the shop! Would that be okay Bernard?"
"Shut up Manny, I can't think about drinking with you talking."
"How rude of me not to introduce myself, in which I will do now! I am Manny, this is Bernard and this is Fran, who are you?" Asked Manny.
"I am Colin and this young boy here is Frank, don't mind him he can be a little slow sometimes." Colin replied.
"I am not slow, but I'm going over here for ages." Frank replied.
"How about we all go to the pub for a drink?" Fran asked.
"That's a great idea, the best I have heard all day, let's go!" Bernard replied.
They all left the shop at 11am, and walked to the pub looking for a drink.