Disclaimer: I don't own Yuugiou… sadly y,y
Ryu: Hello again. I took a break from new chapters to replace chapter 6 with a better one (incase no one reads my profile). But now I'm back in the game working on chapter 7. For the most part I just type what ever I wrote in my notebook a few months ago but if I feel like something's not moving right I'll do my best to fix it before I post. So, let's get going with the thank you portion.
GreyLiliy: I'm glad you liked my love triangle idea; I thought it'd be fun and even made it a homo/hetero triangle. And I'm glad you like 'Kura, I thought a little comic relief would be fun. I took your advice about the ending and redid the chapter (see above for details). And I'm glad you liked 'Kura at the end; I cried when I wrote that. Anyway, I'm glad you like it and hope I do better on chapter 7.
Lady-Silverkiss: I want to hug Ryou-kun too, but I always wanna hug Ryou-kun. But something tells me you'll like this chapter even more, it gets pretty weepy. So yeah, hope you like it cause I know I do.
Ai Baka-san Austra: A new reader! Yay! I kick so much ass! I'm happy my AU caught your attention and I hope it doesn't lose it. Not sure if you were telling the truth about my writing but thanks anyway. Try not to get grounded so much so you can read more (although I'm so lazy you probably won't miss much).Adva Atreyu: Another new reader, I'm on fire! /engulfed by flames/ I know the pace changes, it does with my mood, but I try to slow down the faster scenes. Keep in mind I wrote this months ago and am just now typing and posting it so I have a lo of editing to do. I'll definitely keep writing, I like this one a lot.
Ryu: So yeah, that's that and it's time to go on with the next chapter of the story. Hope you enjoy it.
Chapter 7: Confessions and Depression
Time didn't seem to be moving while Ryou ran. He didn't care that he was exhausted. He didn't care he was lost. He didn't care that the cold air was stinging his tear-stained face. He just didn't care anymore. So he just ran as hard as he could, just not caring.
'It's not like I can do anything else anyway,' he though miserably. 'I can't do anything for anyone. I'm no good at anything. I'm no good for anything. I'm just no good at all.'
Ryou ran till his body couldn't take him any further and he finally stopped, reaching Domino Harbor. He managed to drag his exhausted form to the edge of one of the docks and sit there, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his forehead down on his arms. His breathing was heavy and his face was tear-soaked. He'd kept his father's secret for three months and yet it had only taken a few hours for everything to fall to pieces.
'How could I let this happen?' he wondered in his mind, his voice and mouth to wrapped up in sobs to form any words. 'It's all my fault otou-san's secret is out… And Malik and Shizuka… He lied…'
"He lied!" Ryou screamed, although he didn't hear it. He looked up from his sobbing and stared into the miserable reflection of his chocolate eyes dyed pink and orange and purple in the waters of the bay.
'I wonder if drowning is peaceful… I'll need to find out…'He rose from his seat on the dock and wiped his tears, though they were replaced instantly.
'…no good for anything…'
"Ryou-kun!"
'…no point to go on…'
"Don't do it Ryou-kun!"
'…only good to die…'
"Ryou-kun!"
Ryou didn't hear the voice calling out to him from behind. He only heard his own thoughts as he fell forward into the icy grip of the bay's water, letting the darkness slowly surround him.
'This isn't so bad,' he thought happily, a small smile on his face. 'It's quiet down here… It's finally…' that was all his mind got out before his eyes slipped closed and the icy darkness around him swallowed the boy completely.
/ONLY MINUTES LATER/
Dull, clouded, chocolate-colored eyes fluttered open only to wish they'd stayed closed. The sounds of people talking and sirens blaring could be heard all around him, breaking the peace that had existed in the boy's mind before. Once again, the quiet had been stolen away from him.
"Back up," someone yelled. "Back away, give him some space."
'What happened?' his mind managed to ask.
He stirred a little before pushing the soft blanket off his wet form and sat up on the stretcher he'd been placed on, looking around and examining the crowd around him. He reached up and clutched his head as the memories came flooding back to him.
'Otou-san…''Malik-kun… and Shizuka-chan…'
'I love you…' Malik had said.
Running…
Falling…
A box cutter…
'No good…'
The water…
'…drowning…'
'Quiet…'
Ryou clutched harder at his head and shut his eyes tightly, the noise of the crowd and the returning thoughts to his head making him dizzy, making his head pound and throb.
"Ryou-kun!" someone called.
'How'd I get here?'"Ryou-kun!"
'Who is that?'"Ryou-kun please look at me!"
Ryou unclenched himself enough to see a damp Malik standing, timidly, over him with a blanket, much like the over him, wrapped around his shoulders. Tears were falling down his cheeks and his eyeliner was practically washed away.
Malik fell down to his knees and threw his arms around the white-haired boy, sobbing harsher than anything.
"Oh… Ryou-kun… I saw you f…fall and thought I'd l…l…lost you…"
"Malik-kun…" Ryou breathed, relaxing a little. His arms absently wrapped around the boy and he hugged him tightly. "Malik-kun… what happened… how'd I get here?"
Malik pulled back a bit and looked at Ryou, his eyes a mixture of confusion, shock, and, most of all, misery. He shook his head a little and wiped away a few tears before telling him, "You don't remember?' I saw you fall in the bay… I called your name but you didn't respond. And then you hit the water and I… I didn't know what to do so I jumped in after you…"
"He saved your life," an approaching paramedic said.
"W…will he be all right?" Malik asked, looking up at the man with wide, glistening eyes. Were it not for the sadness in those eyes he would've looked absolutely adorable.
The paramedic had to shake off the cuteness of the boy before he could go on. "He's all right physically. You got him out of the water before any real damage could be done. I am, however, concerned about his mental status."
Malik blinked at him in confusion. He knew Ryou wasn't all well but how did the paramedic know?
"N…nani?" he managed to get out.
"It's very odd that a sixteen-year-old boy would fall into the bay and not swim back out," the medic explained. "To be safe, the police are on their way."
"Why?" Malik exclaimed, worried about his friend.
The medic was a little surprised that the boy couldn't put two and two together. Deciding he'd been through a lot he let it go and said softly, "I had no choice. If this was, in fact, an attempted suicide then the police will want to question him."
Malik gasped and looked over at his friend.
'Could Ryou really want to die that badly?'Ryou just remained quiet as he sat, trying to piece things together and clear the fog clouding his mind.
'But I was dying…' he thought while he sat. 'It was quiet… So why am I hear now? Malik-kun… Malik-kun saved me? But why? Why'd he take me away from my death? Why'd he take away my silence?'
"Ryou-kun?" Malik asked when his friend had been quiet for a while.
"Why?" he asked, not looking up.
"Nani?" Malik asked, scared of what Ryou's reply would be.
"Why did you save me?" he yelled, looking furiously at Malik.
"What do you mean? I couldn't let you die." Malik couldn't believe what his friend was saying.
"I just wanted quiet," Ryou said, completely disappointed that it had been taken away from him. "I was finally going to get the peace I wanted… and you took it away from me."
"But Ryou-kun…"
"Just leave me alone!" Ryou shouted.
Malik couldn't believe what he was hearing. He just couldn't believe that Ryou really wanted to die. And he couldn't believe that Ryou didn't want to be around him.
"Excuse me boys," came the medic's voice. "This was found on the ground near the dock. Does it belong to either of you?" He held in his hand a lavender cell phone.
"It's mine," Malik said, taking it and checking to see if he'd missed a call, none.
"Can I leave now?" Ryou asked, rising from his place on the stretcher.
"I'm afraid not," the medic said. "From what I just heard this was attempted suicide. You'll need to wait for the police to arrive. I'm sure they'll want to question you on the matter."
"Great," Ryou huffed sadly.
"And you," the medic said to Malik. "It may be a good idea for you to stay as well, in case they want to talk to you. You did save your friend's life. You're a hero."
'I'm no hero,' Malik though miserably. 'I wanted to help Ryou-kun, make him happy. But I'll I did was hurt him.'
He came out of his thoughts at a visible shiver from the pale boy. Sighing he took his own blanket off and wrapped it around the cold boy.
Ryou looked up at the feeling of the extra warmth and softness for a second before looking back at the ground, sadly. He just couldn't look Malik in the face.
Malik sighed sadly and picked up the blanket Rou had been using. He pulled it closely around himself, reveling in the warmth and scent the white-haired boy had left in it. He followed when Ryou started away from the crowd, walking, apart from one another, and sitting on a bench near one of the many warehouses.
No words were exchanged between the boys as that sat next each other; Malik too scared, Ryou too confused.
Finally, after long minutes that seemed like infinity, Malik let out the loud sigh he'd been holding in and spoke.
"Ryou-kun, I-"
"Please, Malik-kun," Rou interrupted, still refusing to look at the Egyptian. "Please, just give me time to think things out."
Malik sighed again and looked at the ground, giving his friend the quiet he wanted… for the time being at least. The silence was short-lived though, interrupted this time by Malik's 'Overlap' ring-tone.
He pressed talk without looking at who was calling and bought the phone to his ear. "Moshi moshi," he said quietly.
"Mariku-kun, where are you?"
"I'm at Domino Pier, waiting for the police to arrive…"
"It's a long story…"
"I'll explain later…"
"Hai…"
"If you want…"
"I can't leave now anyway…"
"Hai…"
"Ja…"
He pressed the end button and let the phone fall to his side.
"What did Mariku-kun say?" Ryou asked, still not looking up.
Malik was surprised Ryou'd asked but sighed and replied, "He's going to come here with Jou-kun and Shizuka-chan."
A tear fell passed Ryou's eye at the mention of the beautiful girl. He didn't want to ask the question burning a hole in his mind but a voice inside of screamed to do so. Swallowing around the growing lump in his throat he forced his voice to form the words playing over and over loudly in his mind.
"Malik-kun…"
This time he looked up in surprise at being addressed directly. "Yeah?"
Ryou started to ask his question but was cut off by a stronger voice, one that was moving closer to the two of them.
"The police are here boys," the medic that had tended to them said. "They need to talk with the two of you, but you're both clear by me and can leave whenever they say."
The boys nodded their thanks before the medic left, sending back in his place a police officer with long silver hair that covered one of his mahogany eyes.
"Hello boys," he said in a voice that was a bit high and had a mocking tone to it, so of course they knew at once he must be American. "I'm Officer Pegasus J. Crawford, and I'll need to ask the two of you a couple questions."
Ryou and Malik both just nodded, neither of them really wanting to speak at the moment but knowing they didn't get much choice.
"First off, what exactly happened here?" Officer Crawford asked. "I've already gotten stories from a few witnesses but I need to hear it from your mouths."
Both boys were silent a moment. Finally, Malik decided Ryou probably wasn't going to say much and spoke up with his own half of the story. He told of Ryou falling off the dock and how he'd jumped in after him. He was careful though not to mention what had happened prior at Ryou's house that had led up to it.
When Malik had finished his story and Officer Crawford had finished writing his notes it was Ryou's turn to talk. He just stayed quiet though, not wanting to talk. Besides, he was talking to a police officer and was sure that he knew why he felt the way he did.
"I know this is hard Bakura-san," Officer Crawford said when he'd grown tired of the silence. "I do know what your home life is and understand that you're probably under a lot of stress but if it's really pushing you to suicide then I need to know so help can be gotten."
"I didn't attempt suicide," Ryou finally said, still not bothering to look up from his feet. "All I did was jump into the water, and nothing else."
"So you were willing to let yourself drown?" Officer Crawford asked, taking down more notes.
"I was," Ryou replied.
"Then wouldn't that be suicide, hm?"
"It wasn't suicide," Ryou snapped, eyes still locked on the ground.
"How so?"
"Suicide is trying to kill yourself," Ryou said, trying to explain the rationale his mind had formulated. "I wasn't trying to kill myself," he finally looked up from the spot he'd practically stared a hole into, tears glistening in his eyes. "I just wanted it to be quiet… I don't care if I live or die. My life seems meaningless anyway. And there's too much noise… too much yelling… So I just tried to go somewhere quiet is all. Is that really so wrong?"
Officer Crawford wrote down the last of his notes and looked at the boys. "Ishtar-san, you're free to go."
"What about Ryou-kun?" Malik yelled, rising from the bench they were sitting on, the blanket that'd been around him drifting to the ground. "What are you gonna do with him?"
"He'll need to come to the station with me for further questioning," Officer Crawford said calmly, having not been affected by the boy's outburst of emotion.
"Why? He's already told you everything!" Malik was afraid of what would happen to the boy he loved if he were to go with this officer. What if he was trying to kill himself? Would he be put in prison? An asylum?
"Whether or not he wanted to die," Officer Crawford said as he put his notebook away, bringing Malik from his thoughts, "what he did was still attempted suicide. We need to talk with him a bit more, and his father, before we decide what to do with either of them."
"Have you ever tried talking to his father?" Malik asked angrily.
"I am aware of Barak Bakura-san's condition," Officer Crawford informed him, keeping his composure. "We have a specialist for dealing with suspects with mental disorders. Everything's going to be fine."
Malik bit his lip in frustration. No matter what he said this officer had an answer or comeback for it. Sighing, defeated, Malik looked over to Ryou sadly while asking Officer Crawford calmly: "Can I go with him?"
"That's really up to Bakura-san."
Malik glanced once, quickly, at Officer Crawford before asking a timid: "Ryou-kun…"
Ryou looked up at the boy, more confused than he'd ever been about what to say.
'He betrayed you,' his mind spoke up. 'He lied to you… He took away your quiet…' That last statement had sealed it.
"Ryou-kun?" Malik asked again.
"Go home Malik-kun," Ryou said tonelessly, rising from his spot on the bench. "Or go back to Shizuka if you want," he added coldly. "I'm sure she's waiting for you." Then he left, following Officer Crawford to his waiting police car.
An icy hand squeezed at Malik's heart, the sound of those cold words killing the boy inside.
'You idiot!' he scolded himself. 'You didn't explain… didn't tell him that there's nothing between you and Shizuka… didn't tell him… Baka!'
The crushed Egyptian watched sadly as the portal car pulled away, Ryou sitting blankly in the back. Tears slipped down passed Malik's eyes as he dropped helplessly to his knees. The boy he loved more than life itself hated him… hated him more than anything. Not only that, but he didn't want to let Malik explain himself either. No matter what he said Ryou just wouldn't listen. Never in the dark-skinned boy's life had he felt lower than when he'd heard those cruel words from his pale angel.
Malik just stayed there, sitting on his knees down on the cement of the harbor in the final fading light of the setting sun, orange and purple shadows closing in around him. He stayed like that for a long time; until the sun had set and a familiar black car had pulled up, followed by a powder blue, rusty one.
"Malik-san!" a voice called.
Malik didn't even flinch at his name, much less look up. He didn't move at all as the shadows closed in around him, not until three shadows that seemed familiar, comforting, appeared around him. Only then did he look up, meeting with the sight of a concerned Jounouchi, Shizuka, and, to Malik's surprise, Mariku.
"O… onii… san…" he sobbed pitifully.
Mariku knelt down to his brother's level. "What happened Malik? Where's Ryou-kun?" he asked. Mariku was actually being… tender; something Malik thought he was incapable of anymore.
"He… he tried… to… kill himself… again…" Malik sobbed, looking into his brother's shared pair of mirroring lavender eyes.
"Nani? How?" Jou asked, startling the boys.
"He was going to… going to… drown… in the bay…"
"Malik, where is he now?" Mariku asked urgently, touching his brother's shoulder. He was shocked to find the lavender shirt damp. "Why are you wet Malik?"
"I jumped in after him… pulled him out… but now he… he…" Malik couldn't get anything else out before the next storm of tears and hiccups moved in, making their way out of the boy.
"He what?" Jou asked.
"Now he hates me!" Malik yelled before collapsing into his brother's arms, his tears quickly soaking the black material the older sibling wore.
"It's gonna be okay Malik-san," Shizuka tried to soothe, kneeling down and placing a hand on the crying boys back.
"Yeah," Jou agreed, also lowering himself. "Ryou-kun will get through this. And when he does he'll practically love you for saving him."
"Baka! You don't know anything!" Mariku shouted. It was too late though, the icy hand had returned to give Malik's heart a second death grab that sent yet another wave of fresh tears pouring out of the young Egyptian.
"What the hell's the matter with you two?" Jou retorted angrily, rising ad backing up a step.
"Why do you think this is hurting him so much?" Mariku shouted at the blonde. "He's already in love with Ryou-kun!"
Malik shot up immediately at those words.
"Mariku! You promised you wouldn't tell!"
"What's the point in hiding it? They're your friends, they're not going to judge you."
Malik was shocked by his brother's words. Was he afraid of being judged? Is that why it had to be such a big secret? Scared, Malik looked over at the other pair of siblings, expecting persecuting eyes but instead meet compassionate, understanding ones.
"Gomen nasai, Shizuka, Jounouchi," he said.
"It's okay Malik-kun," Jou said warmly.
"So that's why you don't like me back, you like Ryou-san," Shizuka said, causing everyone to fall over.
'Not too bright,' Mariku thought as he got up and rubbed his head.
"Hold it, you like Malik-kun?" Jou exclaimed, his protective side coming through.
A slight flush crept onto her face as she nodded at her brother.
"But… Malik-kun likes Ryou-kun…" Jou tried to piece together.
"Likes? My brother's in love with the boy," Mariku corrected.
"But it sucks! It totally sucks!" Malik exclaimed.
"What does Malik-kun?" Shizuka asked.
"Being in love with someone who doesn't love you back," Malik sobbed.
"Oh, I see," Shizuka, said. "But at least the person you love isn't into someone else," she added, somewhat bitterly. "Besides, how do you know he doesn't love you back?"
"I just know it!" Malik cried. "Why would he? I'm a guy… And he hates me for saving his life… And he… he… he is in love with someone else…"
"He is? Who?" Shizuka questioned.
Malik tried to answer but he just couldn't, his tears returning in strong bursts that caused him to sink back into his brother's arms.
"Who is it?" Shizuka asked, ready to hurt anyone that would do this to Malik.
Mariku looked from his sobbing brother in his arms to the clueless girl. Lavender met smoky-brown as the Egyptian spoke the words he knew would crush his already broken brother.
"Shizuka-chan, Ryou-kun… is in love with you."
Ryu: I did it! I finally finished this chappy. Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I'm still trying to adjust to things: going to school again, switching religions, working on my novel, still not having a job… Yeah. So, I don't know when the next update will come but I hope you all stick around for it… if you stuck around for this one even.
R&R please. Ja ne