All right. Time to get the 9th chapter up and going. I'm sure you wanna see what's gonna happen to Marth. So do I.

No one was having a good time. Link had yanked the cover off of Mario's bed and tried to beat him senseless. Marth was holding back Link, trying to think of a way to explain without switching his target. Zelda was just a bystander and a victim. And Samus…was laughing. For the entire 5 minutes it took for Link to calm down.

"You're (beep) crazy, man!" Mario said, staying away from Link. He had a sword. Mario knew better.

"Zelda…why?" Link said, sadness kicking in.

Zelda was very confused.

"It's nice that you would kill for me…but…don't you think I should get to know you first?"

Half of Link's heart melted.

"GET TO KNOW ME?" Link yelled, his voice breaking. Marth quickly pulled him to the side.

"Listen, you need to calm down. Trust me, in a few minutes, they're not going to remember a thing," Marth whispered.

Link's sadness faded temporarily and was replaced by suspicion.

"Are you a hypnotist or something?" he asked.

Marth looked down at the statue with regret. Then he chuckled. And got punched in the mouth.

"Change them. Now," demanded Link.

Marth rubbed his jaw.

"Well…you took that surprisingly well…okay. The only way to reverse the effect is to-"

Kissing noises and laughing interrupted him.

"CUT IT OUT!" Marth and Link yelled.

"Damn! Sorry…" Zelda said.

"Now, as I was saying…the only way to reverse the effect is to render the victim unconscious. Like I did with you!" Marth said before getting punched in the mouth again.

"Stop sounding so happy!" Link said.

"If you went through what I did with Peach for the previous 2 chapters, you couldn't help but be happy either," Marth replied.

"…That didn't sound too right…you and Peach?" Link asked.

"Yeah…Yoshi turned into a total killjoy."

"Wow, I can actually imagine that…"

"I saw them breathing each other's air and touching tongues," Samus added.

Link and Marth said nothing. Then the kissing noises returned, and a pissed Link knocked Mario out with his boomerang.

"Yeah, Samus, that's great…" Marth said empathetically.

"I wanna try it!" Samus exclaimed.

Marth and Link looked at each other, then at Samus, then at Zelda (who was trying to wake Mario), then at Samus, then at each other, then at Zelda. Then at Samus.

And then at each other. They nodded.

"Try it with her," Link said.

"Okay!" Samus cheered.

"Nice…" Marth said to himself. Samus ran over to Zelda and tackled her on the floor. Again. Zelda was floored.

"Hey! Didn't we go through this alrea-"

Their lips locked. Zelda tried to struggle out of it, but she was pinned. It was no use. Pretty soon, Zelda had slipped into it. Marth and Link just watched.

This is pretty cool…

Within 30 seconds, the kiss had ended, and the two gazed into each other's eyes, smiling.

"That was fun…" Samus said.

"Yes…it was…" Zelda responded.

"I could do that all day!" Samus exclaimed.

"This is perfect…" Marth whispered to Link.

"Yeah. Now's my chance," Link whispered, tip-toeing over to the girls.

"Hey! What are you doing? Don't hog both of-oh, man, that's not cool…" Marth whispered loudly.

"I wonder how long I can hold my breath this time? I'm going for a whole minute!" Samus said.

"Me too," Zelda said. "Me t-"

Bong!

Both Zelda and Samus were out cold. Marth stared at Link, lack-jawed and bug-eyed.

"That actually worked. We were able to get them both together so we could knock them out at the same time," Link said, putting his shield back.

Marth still stared.

"Good idea, man," Link complimented.

"…You…wanted them…together…to…bring them back to…normal?" a confused Marth said.

"Yeah. What did you think?" Link asked, chuckling.

Marth sighed.

"At least I have the memory…" Marth said sadly.

"So what do we do now?" asked Link.

Marth returned to reality after a couple of snaps from Link.

"We gotta get these people in their beds. And…uh…well, I was just going to see some more opposites. You have a problem with that?" Marth said.

Link thought for a moment.

"Pay me."

"How much?"

"15 Smash Coins. And I keep this little exploration of yours a secret. Deal?" Link held his hand, and Marth, un-hesitant, shook it.

"It's only for a few more hours, or until Mewtwo comes back. You move the people, okay?" Marth said quickly.

"Yeah, yeah…" Link said, trying to pick up Mario.

"Okay." Marth rushed out of the room and looked over the balcony to see who else was in the living room. Mr. Game & Watch was watching TV.

"…Oh, fine." Marth said, disappointed.

…I got nothing to say.