Disclaimer: You know it doesn't belong to me.

Yet again . . .I love all the great reviews. Thanks!

And just to clear somethings up . . .it hasn't actually been exactly 5 years since Meredith left. More like 5 years and 6.5 months kind of deal, but they're not actually going to say it like that . . .so they just refer to it as 5 years.

And I know it may have been a little odd that Emily warmed right up to Derek. But he's Derek, the man has a way with children. And he's Derek. Besides I kind of see Emily as the strong silent type like her mom, so she's always been yearning for a dad, and now she finally has one, so she was willing to accept him almost immediately. I know it doesn't work like that usually, but it needed to work that way for my story.

So yeah . . . enjoy. This chapter is more just pure Meredith and Derek.

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Derek's POV:

I sit. Looking at the water and nursing a beer in my hand. It had been a longer than long day at work. One of those days where everyone seems to die. I hated those days. And at the end all I wanted to do was go home to my girls, the two people I loved most in the world.

Instead I came home to an empty trailer and a cold beer.

A car approaches my place, I catch it in the corner of my eye. My heart rate triples, I know that car. "Didn't expect you to show up tonight," I say to the exiting form.

She shrugged and plopped down beside me, grabbing the beer from my hand and taking a sip. It reminded me of the night, years ago where everything had started to go wrong. "Emily finally fell asleep so I left her with Izzie and George. I figured we should talk."

I lean over and grab the beer back, the scent of lavender filling my nose. I find myself grateful that she never changed her shampoo. "She's amazing, Mer." I say, shocked at how breathless I sound. "So tiny and so perfect."

"I know," Meredith sighs.

"You were right. At some points she was just a tinier version of you, like when she refused to touch the worms. But sometimes she was just like me. It's amazing how she ended up a combination."

"I know," Meredith sighs again.

"I love her." I say, wishing I could tell her I love them both.

"I know," Meredith sighs again. This time she adds, "She loves you too."

"You did a good job raising her Mer, a really good job."

This time she looks up at me and smiles. "Thank you, Derek. You have no idea how much that means to me."

I smile at her. She's my Meredith, I know exactly how much it meant to her.

Before I could say as much, she continued. "I grew up in a world like Emily's. My mother was too busy being a surgeon to pay too much attention to me. My dad was just vague memories from the past. And I know how much it left me damaged and scarred. I don't want that for her. It's been so hard to balance it all, but I want better for her."

"I know," it's my turn to sigh.

"But still the sacrifices are so hard. She wants to play hockey. She wants to play hockey so badly. All her friends play, it's the thing to do in Detroit. But she's so tiny, it worries me. And it's more than that. It's a time consuming sport, practices, games, travel time. And I don't have that time to consume. I hate the fact my daughter is missing out on something because I'm too busy." She rests her head on my shoulder, I feel a shiver travel down my spine.

"Our daughter." I correct her gently.

"Yeah, our daughter," Meredith concedes.

"She could play hockey. It would be easier if she had two parents to lean on. We both have busy schedules of course, but if we worked together. . ." I trailed off feeling Meredith's head leave my shoulder and look at me.

"What are you saying, Derek?"

I took a deep steadying breath. What I was about to suggest could change everyone lives. "Move home Mer."

On a prayer in a song

I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on

Raining down against the wind

I'm reaching out 'til we reach the circle's end

When you come back to me again

Meredith's POV:

"Move home Mer," Derek said sounding cool, calm and collected.

My heart stopped. Part of me expected these words. It was clear that he wanted to be part of Emily's life. It was clear he didn't want to take her away from me. So me moving back seemed logical. Part of me was overjoyed at hearing these words. Back. It's where I really wanted to be. Back with him at this trailer. Back at Seattle Grace with my friends.

But back was so far away from where I was now.

"Derek," I started trying to figure out how to figure this all out.

"She wants to live here, Meredith. She asked me if you two could move here and live with me."

I wasn't surprised that she has asked him. She had asked me basically the same question the next morning. She loved her dad completely, and her dad loved her. And to keep her away from the stability of having a father would be cruel. I would be just like my mother. But for me to move back here, put myself back in that place, that was terrifying.

"Derek, I don't know," I said in a shaky voice. It was the most honest answer I could give him.

"I know you don't. And I know it's as big scary decision, but Mer please think about it. Think of all the positives it would bring."

I sat and thought of it, as his hand rubbed my back sending chills everywhere. For Emily the answer was clear. Seattle was the best place to be. She would have a father that loved her. She would have a family of sorts, something she had never had before. It would make her life easier. It would make my life easier.

I looked up and met Derek's eyes. The answer for me was a little more fuzzy. I knew I wanted this, I knew I wanted to be right where I was. Sitting on the porch beside him, him who was it for me, to share a beer and talk about anything and everything. But in the past that want had bitten me in the ass. I was scared.

I need to know what me moving back would mean. "What about us?"

It was a vague question, but Derek understood. He always understood.

"Honestly;" he said running his hand through his hair. "I don't know. I wish I did, I wish I had an answer for you, but we're complicated always have been. But think about Emily, Mer. Don't make this decision about us, we can figure that out later. Think about the daughter we both love."

I got up. The answer wasn't perfect, but as I couldn't have done any better myself it would have to do. "I will, Derek. I really will."

I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek goodbye.

Okay, read, love, review! I'll be updating later tonight after work so please come and check again!