Straightening the Curves
Chapter Seven: Trouble on the Homefront
"Rachel, I've been tryin' to tell ya—I didn't do anythin'!" Bo was pleading as Rachel was slinging his clothes out of their bedroom dresser. "She came onto me! I was gonna tell her I was married when you came out of the bathroom!"
"What about while I was still in there though?" she shrieked, throwing a pair of socks at his head, which he ducked to miss. "You were flirtin' with her when I wasn't around!"
"No, I wasn't!" he defended himself, ducking again this time for a pair of boots being chunked across the room. "Rach, will ya calm down? You're goin' to hurt yourself!"
"You've already done that for me!" she insisted, hurling underwear and more socks onto the floor. "The nerve! Flirtin' with that hussy while your pregnant wife is tryin' to relieve herself!"
Temper tantrums must run in the family! Bo thought to himself as he escaped the house and out to the General Lee, remembering all the times he'd seen Eve fly off the handle and the one time their sister Ali had slapped Luke across the face before he left for Virginia.
Jesse was stirring up a pot of possum stew that he was fixing on the stove. He picked the spoon up, blew on it, and took a sip. After doing so, he made a face of disgust. "Needs more salt," he murmured, reaching for the shaker sitting beside the stove.
"Uncle Jesse, you ain't paying any attention to me," Bo spoke up, sitting at the kitchen table. "Rachel's throwin' my stuff out an' won't let me explain what happened!"
Not taking his eyes off the pot, Jesse replied, "That's your problem. You're tryin' to explain how this ain't your fault, but that ain't gonna work. When ya do that, she'll just think you're lyin' to cover your tracks." He placed the spoon on a napkin and then turned to sit down beside his youngest nephew. "The best thing to do is just apologize."
"But I didn't—"
"It don't matter, she thinks ya did somethin' an' her feelin's are hurt. Unless ya say you're sorry, she ain't gonna listen to anything else ya have to say."
"But Uncle Jesse—"
"Don't you 'But Uncle Jesse' me, get on home an' play like it was your fault." Bo didn't move. "Well, go on! Just 'cause you're married an' ain't livin' under my roof anymore, don't mean I still can't take ya to the barn an' whoop ya, now get goin'!"
"Yes, sir," Bo replied, obediently getting up and leaving the house.
Jesse shook his head. "Crazy kids. Gotta tell 'em how to do everything."
Rachel was outside on the porch swing, rubbing her stomach. "Thanks for comin' over here by the way. I know the last thing ya wanted to do today was sit out here with your pregnant sister-in-law an' listen to her complain 'bout her bonehead husband."
"Oh, tiddly-tuddly, it's no big deal," Rosco told her, sitting next to her on the swing at a safe distance away. Flash was lying down sideways in his lap fast asleep. "'Sides, your sister told me to keep an eye on ya, so I reckon I'd better do it."
She smiled. She knew that those two would do anything for each other, no questions asked—even if it meant babysitting a pregnant little sister. She sighed to herself and leaned her head back against the swing.
"You an' Eve ever have a fight?" she asked out of curiosity, expecting the answer to be "no." She'd never seen them exchange a single cross word between each other.
Rosco looked out at the open lawn with sad eyes. "Once. A few months ago."
"Really?" Rachel asked with wide eyes. "You two had a fight an' I didn't hear about it?"
Balladeer: Hey, I didn't hear about it either!
"She didn't make a big deal after it got settled," he explained, rubbing one of Flash's ears gently as so not to wake her. He smiled a little bit. "It was kinda like what you an' Bo had a spat over, actually." The smiled faded. "A few years ago, I met this girl through one of them computer datin' services named Sue Ann. We talked for about a month, an' I thought we had somethin' real goin' between us. One day outta the blue she shows up with a suitcase an' talks me into marryin' her—the next day. I didn't really like the idea, I wanted to wait a few more months, but she threatened to leave if I didn't do it when she wanted to, so like an idiot I went ahead an' married her the next day."
He sighed. "Turns out, she was just usin' me. While everybody was at the weddin', her real husband was robbin' the bank. Of course they got caught, and needless to say I got the whole thing annulled after only one hour of marriage."
Rachel's jaw was dropped. "Good Lord, that's awful. An' Evie got ticked off over that?"
"It was mostly that she was scared that I'd drop her the same way, really. We didn't have a full-fledged fight or nothin' like that. After a few hours, she calmed down an' decided to just let sleepin' dogs lie. After all, she hadn't seen any signs of me sneakin' around on her, not that I ever would, an' she had no reason to think that I'd do anything like that to her."
"So what you're sayin' is that there's gonna be "ghosts" from Bo's romantic past that might show up now an' again, but they ain't gonna mean anything to him. Right?"
Rosco thought about it for a second. He didn't realize his story had a point at all, to tell the truth; he thought he was just using up the oxygen. But he nodded and said, "Yeah, you can put it that way."
She flashed a smile at her brother-in-law and said, "Thanks, Rosco."
He gave her a small smile as a silent "You're welcome."
Out of nowhere, the sound of an engine revving came into hearing range and the sight of an orange race-car came zooming into view. Bo slammed on the brakes and skidded to a halt beside Rosco's patrol car, lightly hitting the passenger side of it. Rosco tensed up as he saw the two collide.
"Always someone scuffin' somebody's car 'round here," he muttered, gathering Flash in his arms and trying to get off the swing. "Bye, Rachel."
"Bye," she said, watching Bo run past the sheriff heading to his car (to whom he said a small 'hello' to) and hop up the stairs to where she was sitting.
"Rach," Bo began, shoulder heaving from the fast drive home. "I wanna apologize."
She blinked at him. "For what?"
He gave her a confused look. He didn't know if it was the fact she was a girl or that she was pregnant that was causing these mood swings of hers. "For—y'know, for earlier. I shouldn't have been talkin' to Luanne in the first place. I'm sorry."
Rachel gave him a smile. "No, Bo, I'm sorry. I should've realized that you've had previous girlfriends that you're liable to run into every now an' then." She held her arms up, signaling that she needed help getting up off the swing. He took a hold of her waist so she could grab his shoulders and he hoisted her up to her feet.
She gave him a kiss. "I love you, Bo."
He smiled real big at her. "I love you, too, Rachel."
Rachel suddenly grabbed her swollen tummy and shuddered almost violently, a moan of pain escaping her lips. Bo's smile turned into a fearful look and he struggled to hold his wife up.
"Rachel, are you all right?" he asked frantically, his heart beginning to pick up the pace.
"I don't know," she said softly, still holding her stomach. She almost doubled over in pain as another contraction surged through her. "I—I think I'm goin' into labor."
"Oh, Lord," Bo muttered. She was only seven months along. He hoped this wasn't a bad sign. "Well, come on, we gotta get to the hospital," he urged her.
Despite her pain, she managed to give him a look of disbelief. "You expect me to fit through the General's window? Are you mad? I'd be better off walkin' to the hospital than the chance of you fittin' me through there!" She winced as she felt another contraction. "Why do ya think I have Daisy pick me up for work?"
Bo looked around helplessly then sat Rachel on the porch steps and began to chase after Rosco's car and waving his arms for him to stop. Bo finally saw the brake lights come on and the car began to back up to where he was standing.
Balladeer: Remember the good ol' days when it was the other way around—Bo runnin' away from Rosco?
"Good grief, what're you kids arguin' over now?" he asked, sticking his head out the window, a hand on his hat to keep the wind from blowin' it off.
"Rachel's in labor!" Bo spat out.
Now it was Rosco's turn to panic. "Oooh–ooooh, labor! You mean she's—she's havin' the baby?"
"Yes, an' she can't fit in the General, we need to use your car!"
"My car? My car? OH, you need my car!" he stuttered, reality finally setting in. "Hurry up an' get in here then, I'll have y'all at the hospital in two shakes of a tail!"
"Thanks, Rosco! Just come on back to the house an' I'll load 'er up!" Bo hurriedly exclaimed, taking off running towards the house.
"Kheekhee, a baby! I love it, I love it!" Rosco grinned widely as he turned the car around.