What may be my best fic, and definitely my most popular, ends in (insert time it took to read epilogue here). Then I'll start something else. Many thanks to all who read and reviewed, even those that are pretty much gone (either from the Smash section or the site altogether).
Well…here it be. Over 3,000 words worth of resolution.
"Dinner is served, everyone!"
There it was. The exclamation that marked the beginning of the end of Marth's brief excursion. It prompted some cheering from a small group of hungry Smashers (Kirby, Yoshi, Mario, Ness, and the Ice Climbers) and some thinking by our little experimenter. How exactly was this going to work?
As Zelda brought in the food using levitation spells, Marth looked down on the statue, which he hid under the table from everybody. Mewtwo was sitting on the left side of the table, in front of Marth, but 3 seats to the right. He wouldn't be there for very long, so he had to make it work, somehow. It usually took half an hour for everyone to finish his or her dinner; it was at that time that free time resumed until "lights out" (which Mewtwo constantly violated, as he almost never slept, as well as Ganondorf, who almost never wanted to sleep). Mewtwo would be nigh unapproachable when dinner was over.
Speaking of dinner, tonight the Smashers were having some nice baked lasagna with cheddar cheese, along with some salad, corn on the cob, and string beans. Drink options? Water, lemonade, iced tea, and cola. That's some good dinner.
After all the food made its way to table, as well as the ice-cold pitchers, everyone began to help themselves, starting with Falco, at the head of the table (he got there first). While he filled his plate, a voice boomed throughout the mansion through the megaphones. Master Hand's voice.
"Attention. Your attention, now. Several announcements need to be made. First off, evening matches are as follows: Young Link vs. Dr. Mario at 7:15 p.m. Great Bay. Fox vs. Pichu at 7:20 p.m. Battlefield. Ganondorf vs. Peach at 7:30 p.m. Yoshi's Island 64. Donkey Kong vs. Ness at 7:40 p.m. Rainbow Cruise. Zelda vs. Jigglypuff at 7:55 p.m. Mute City. And Samus vs. Marth at 8:00 p.m. Icicle Mountain. Second, my finger cramps have ceased, so if you were wondering why there was a first announcement at all, that's the reason. Third, I would like to thank you all for deciding to clean my mansion. I still don't like most of you. I will be stopping by later to see that my mystical items are in good condition. That is all. Resume current activities."
"We were still getting our food…" Yoshi muttered, done filling his plate. There was much silence until the Smashers all had their food, 6 minutes later. Commence dinner talk!
"I woke up with Samus. That can't be coincidence. Between this afternoon and now, something happened to us," Zelda told pretty much everyone.
"What was the last thing you guys remember?" Kirby asked. "First Marth came in my room, then before I knew it…" Kirby inhaled an entire cob before continuing. "I was head-first into a TV!"
"Now that you mention it, Marth was the last person I saw before I wound up outside on my bare behind. Right when DK suddenly started acting smart, too…" Luigi drank some of his iced tea.
"I thought Peach broke up with me for Marth!" Mario almost cried, eating a big chunk of lasagna.
Mewtwo swigged some water, and took it all in. Though he didn't necessarily care what was going on, he figured that the knowledge would help him rather than hurt him. Everyone that wasn't him was looking at Mario, then Marth, then Peach, then Marth, then Mario. Then Marth. Then almost Peach, but back to Marth.
"Hmm…" everyone except a select few (Link, Mewtwo, the Ice Climbers, Marth himself) suspiciously stated.
Thank goodness I saw this coming. I'm so awesome.
"Yeah, it's…something else. I woke up naked."
Everyone looked at Marth. Everyone.
"Yep. Naked…with a crushed robin in my left fist."
Everyone still looked at Marth. Everyone.
"It was disgusting. I don't know what happened."
"Well then, we know it's not his fault," deduced Link, trying to help.
"Yeah…" Fox said, still looking at him. "But now we gotta think about what made him turn into what he was."
Marth silently sighed and gave Link a pound.
"Marth, what's the last thing you remember?" asked Pikachu.
"I think…I was cleaning up. Then everything fell out the closet, and I was putting it back up…that's it."
There was silence for a few seconds. Minus the eating noises.
"Wait. Didn't Master Hand say he was going to check on his 'mystical items' or something like that?" Ness pointed out.
"Yeah, he did," agreed Falcon.
"And if Marth's last whereabouts were the closet, then they should be in there somewhere," suggested Roy.
"It's settled. After dinner, we're going to the closet," decided Samus.
"Great. You guys have fun," Bowser said, sending his whole plateful of food in his mouth. No one paid him any mind. They just continued eating and talking, while Marth continued contemplating. Then Pichu asked the question of doom.
"Popo, why aren't you sitting next to Nana?"
Popo was 6 seats to the right of Marth. Nana was 1 seat to the left, opposite Marth.
"So I don't have to look at her ugly-ass face," Popo mumbled, eating string beans.
"Huh? You say something?" Nana asked.
"I wasn't talking to you."
"You were talking about me though, weren't you, you (beep)ing-"
"Hey, hey! We don't need this at the dinner table. Especially when there's pasta involved. Save it for later," Mario said with his mouth full. There was brief silence.
"He started it," Nana uttered.
"It was over. Shut the (beep) up…" Popo said in slight singsong.
"Why don't you go to hell?"
"No, because you'll just end up there later!"
Nana clenched a fist.
"You're such a jerk!"
"Well why don't you do something about it then?" Popo almost stood up. Nana grabbed a corn on the cob.
"I dare you."
Nana accepted the dare and threw the cob at Popo. She missed and hit Roy instead, who was sitting next to him.
"…If that happens again, somebody's getting hurt," he warned.
"Sorry, I meant to hit that little (beep) (beep) next to you."
"Bitch, drop it!" Popo stood up. "Just leave it alone!"
"…Apologize."
"What, for you being a total (beep)tard?"
"Apologize, and I'll leave you alone. And say it like ya mean it!"
"C'mon, just apologize so we can eat in peace. Please," begged Young Link, almost done eating.
"Whatever happened to us didn't get resolved in them, I guess. And Mr. Game & Watch, but he turned out fun," said Yoshi, patting him on the back. Mr. Game & Watch punched him in his nose. They shared a good laugh about it. (Note: This was the first time Mr. Game & Watch had eaten food in full 3D, so he was in a particularly good mood.)
"I'm not apologizing, just tell her to leave me the (beep) alone for 2 minutes," Popo said.
"Nana…" Falcon said, "you heard him. Leave him alone and he won't bother you in return…"
"Okay, I'll leave him alone," Nana said, calming down instantaneously.
There was brief silence.
"Right after I-"
With that, Nana threw her entire plate, which contained some lasagna and some salad, at Popo. He was struck on the dome, as his head was bowed when he ate some more food. It hurt little due to the hood, but he (and several others) were considerably messy, and ticked off. The plate didn't break upon impact, so Popo picked it up. He stood on the table, mallet in one hand and plate in the other, and ran toward Nana. He threw the plate right before tackling her to the ground. The plate broke. Almost everyone attempted to break it up.
By almost everyone, I meant Peach, Zelda, the Mario Brothers, Pichu, and Roy. Everyone else got involved watching, and most got up to see. Some cheered for them (mostly for Popo; they felt she had it coming). Marth decided that now was a good a time as any, and snuck under the table. Mewtwo started to sip more of his water. But he felt something wasn't right. Ignoring the fight and the (beep)s, Mewtwo looked at Marth's seat, which was naturally empty. He didn't care what had happened with the Smashers before, nor did he care that it was all Marth's fault. But if it involved him…well, let's say he wouldn't go down like no punk.
Go down he did. Like a punk he did not.
When Mewtwo looked down, the statue was in his face. He felt his very self dissipate when he saw his reflection. His eyes glowed blue in an attempt to retain his place in the world. Marth knew this wouldn't take 2 seconds, but he was still in a hurry. The fight couldn't last forever, as funny as it was.
The statue started to shine, which worried Marth. It also started to shake, which worried Marth more. As time passed, it shook more violently, and became harder and harder to keep a hold of. In 8 seconds, Mewtwo gained nothing. The statue stopped shaking, but the mirror cracked (he didn't look to check, but he definitely heard it). When that happened, the Ice Climbers stopped fighting, and Marth quickly returned to his seat, broken statue in hand.
"Wait." Popo quickly got up and let go of Nana's hair. "What just happened?"
"Something came over us. All of us. And it made you guys beat the crap out of each other! It was awesome!" exclaimed Ness.
"OH MY GOD!" Popo said, helping a slightly bleeding Nana off the floor. "I'm so sorry…"
"Uh, Popo…?" Nana knew nothing except that she was really dazed.
Everyone felt themselves lift off the ground. They knew who it was.
"Mewtwo, what are you doing?" asked Peach.
Everyone started clustering together. They could feel a pressure around them.
"I love you guys! So much!" Mewtwo was hugging them all with his mind.
"Great, it happened to him too," Falco said.
"And so suddenly, too," added Marth, faking surprise. Everyone suddenly fell to the floor.
"I mean it! I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much!" Mewtwo extended his arms as far as he was able, weirding multiple people out.
"He may be strange, but at least he's nice!" Pichu said, hugging Mewtwo's leg.
"Aww…" Mewtwo said…smiling.
"Okay, that's enough. Screw dinner, I'm gonna watch TV," Bowser said, walking away.
"Me too. There really isn't a dinner anymore anyway," said Ganondorf, following Bowser.
"Anyone else wanna real hug?" asked Mewtwo.
"No, that's okay," almost everyone said.
"Oh, why not? I'll hug him," (normal voiced) Jigglypuff said, going over to hug Mewtwo's other leg.
"That's what I'm talkin' about! Bring on the love!" Mewtwo exclaimed.
Marth really tried not to laugh. It was difficult, and several "ha's" spontaneously released themselves, one by one.
"Excuse me."
Marth ran away. He ran all the way to the closet, suppressing laughter. He placed the statue in the closet quickly but carefully, in all its cracked glory, and slammed the door. Then he began cracking up. It was a success! He had seen, with minimal trouble, the polar opposites of every fellow Smasher in the mansion. And the only ones who had any idea who it was were either an ally or not of this world. At least until Master Hand showed up, but he wasn't gonna be around for that. For an authentic reason.
"Bathroom break!"
xxx
15 minutes later, at the closet
"Inverstatue."
Master Hand had arrived, staring at his creation.
"Inver-what?" asked Peach.
"You heard me. It was an experimental creation of mine. Have any of you ever wondered…whenever you look in the mirror…is it more than a reflection? Is there a world in there?"
The large group shook their heads. Bowser and Ganondorf were still watching TV, and Marth was still in the bathroom. Also, Mewtwo was still reversed, and hugging random people.
"I did. And the Inverstatue is the result of my wondering. I infused a small mirror with highly powerful multi-dimensional magic, and discovered what I call the Inverse. There, everything was different. By different, I mean the opposite. As an example, Inverse Master Hand is black and acts like my alter ego Crazy, and vice versa."
"…Wait, vice versa meaning Inverse Crazy Hand is black and acts like you?" asked Roy.
"You got the gist of it. This particular statue serves as a limited portal. You can't just stroll into Inverse and then leave when you feel ready. When one looks at the portal, or 'the mirror', their Inverse counterpart switches completely with the 'real deal'. Neither person remembers the switch, which is why none of you can remember anything prior to it. When it cracked, the currently switched - the Ice Climbers and Jigglypuff - immediately returned to their own dimensions."
"I like your nose," Mewtwo said, stroking Yoshi's nose.
"What about him?" asked Yoshi, trying not to like it.
"There are two ways to get him back to normal without permanently screwing him up. The first way is for me to create another portal to Inverse and force him to look at it. The second way is to render him unconscious. The Inverse counterpart will head back to where it should be, for reasons I don't fully understand."
"Can I knock him out now?" asked Nana (whom Mewtwo had so generously healed).
"Knock yourself out," Master Hand replied.
"…That was a mean pun…"
Nana whacked Mewtwo in the head with her mallet. He fell to the floor, KO'd.
"Apparently, when someone attempted to reverse Mewtwo, he fought it furiously, and ended up cracking the portal in the process. He'll be fine when he wakes up. Mad at whoever did this to him, but okay nonetheless."
"Quick question. Why the kid?" Falcon asked.
"I honestly don't know. I couldn't think of a symbol for the dimension, so I came up with that. Anyway, since it's broken, it poses no threat, so I'll just leave it in there. Consider those lost minutes…hours…whichever, of your lives the most treasured."
With that, Master Hand left the mansion, taking most of the calm aura with him.
"Who's taking Mewtwo up to his room?" asked Kirby.
Everyone left as quickly as they could. DK was the last one remaining.
"Yeah. Figures." He picked Mewtwo up by his tail, carried him all the way upstairs to his room, and threw him on his bed.
xxx
Later that evening…
Marth was celebrating his little experimental success earlier with a little field stroll. It was beautiful night for a stroll, it was. He was on his way out of his room, and had just turned off his light. He blinked, and Mewtwo was right in front of him, clearly angry.
"Whoa! Startling."
Mewtwo choked him and lifted him off the ground. The two floated back into his room, door closing. Marth was a bit frightened at this point, as Mewtwo tended to glow in the dark.
"You took away some of my life, and made me do degrading things against my will."
"How did you find that out-ack!"
"Now it is your turn!"
Mewtwo's eyes glowed bright blue. Marth slowly went into a deep sleep. He was placed gently on his bed, and immediately afterwards, Mewtwo disappeared.
xxx
The next morning…
"Hey! This milk is too white! Get me some more!" Ganondorf yelled from the dining room.
"Okay, I'll get you some more sir! Mewtwo, I hate you!"
Ganondorf chuckled. Marth came out of the kitchen in a complete maid outfit (which he unwillingly bought himself) with a new glass of milk. Peach giggled at his cute outfit. Zelda was incredibly satisfied.
"Here's your new milk, Your Highness-oh I really hate this." Marth gave Ganondorf his new milk. The whiteness level did diminish significantly. He drank it, and was a bit satisfied.
"Not bad, slave. But my boots are really dirty." Ganondorf slapped Marth to the ground.
"Right away, sir!" Marth proceeded to spit shine his boots, crying a little. Bowser walked by and looked at Marth.
"I knew it" was all he said. Marth cried a little more.
"Serves you right for treating us like guinea pigs," said Zelda.
Mewtwo appeared in the dining room.
"Are you all enjoying your new plaything?"
"Very much, Mewtwo! Thanks!" Peach said.
"Any idea when it'll be enough?" asked Zelda, chuckling.
"2 weeks should do it."
Marth cried a little more, then continued the spit shining. Mewtwo disappeared.
"Hey Marth!" DK said, entering the dining room. "The toilet clogged again. Real mess up there. Get on it, will ya?"
"As soon as I'm done! This sucks!"
"Marth, my punching bag broke again," Falcon said from the kitchen.
"I'll replace it when I'm done with the toilet!"
"Yes, you will." Falcon said. Everyone in the vicinity that wasn't Marth laughed heartily. Then Ganondorf slapped Marth in the back of the head, pretty hard.
"I never said stop!"
"Sorry!"
The laughter/crying continued.
The end.
Well, there it is. Marth's opposite remained a mystery, yet Mewtwo got his sweet revenge, as did everyone else. Inverstatue broke, and all is well with the universe.
Now to get to work on that new fic. (There weren't any rulers because they weren't working. I used razzkat's method.)