Title: Till We Meet Again
Note: Not a sequel to Ice Forms Over
Disclaimer: Slash, language, violence, character death, sexual content, angst.
POV: Danny
Chapter Two: Here With You
I always enjoyed the touch of Martin's skin on mine. The way he would tenderly touch me like I was a fire ready to burn him. Oh how I had burned for him. Working so close with him day after day had nearly driven me over the edge. There had been days when the feeling got to be too much and I'd think of quitting. Quitting would take me far away from the man who clouded my mind, usually causing me to be distracted while at work. Just the thought of being away from the younger man made my heart ache with such a deep pain that I'd stay. The cycle would start all over again and always it would end the same way. I had to be around Martin. Even if I only got the chance to say hello. Just the sight of his smile and the twinkle in his eyes was enough to brighten the worst of my days. I was convinced that Martin was my other half. The hard part was going to be trying to convince him.
That first night in the elevator was something I would not soon forget. My first kiss with the man who had teased me for so long. I'd been thinking about it all day and nearly lost my nerve to go through with it. We were alone and the idea popped into my head that this could be my one and only chance. I took it. I knew that I took him by surprise. As my lips touched his I began to worry about the repercussions of my actions. Martin was my best friend and played a role in many of my private fantasies. What if he didn't feel the way that I did? There hung this chance that I'd show him how I really felt and he would turn away. Maybe then I would really have to quit. How would I handle working around him again? Too much would have changed. Things wouldn't have been fixable.
My heart stopped for a few seconds while I had waited for him to react. I felt him respond with a longing I'd thought I'd never share with anyone else. It took all my self control not to have him right there in that elevator. Years of lust and wanting had built up but I knew that I could hold on a little longer. Now that I had him in my arms I didn't want to push him away. The days went by and we grew ever closer. We tried to spend every minute with each other. That's why I talked him into letting me drive him to and from work. Just being within close range of him sent my blood racing. I was never sure if it was the smell of his shampoo or aftershave. Maybe it was the sound of his voice or the little things he did subconsciously. It never really mattered to me. I just wanted to be near him.
At work we would do our best not to let the feelings show through. Some days we didn't work at it as hard as other days. There would be winks between us and shy smiles. Once or twice when I'd accidentally brushed against Martin he would blush. It was a wonder to me that the others missed all of this. I had been able to detect the relationship between Sam and Martin before anyone else knew. Guess we weren't all that great at picking up those little hints of affection. Not that I minded, having Martin as my secret lover made the fire inside burn even hotter. Common sense told me to enjoy this well it lasted. Sooner or later someone would find out that Martin was more than my friend. When that happened, who'd know how they'd react. That's something to worry about when it happened.
Away from work we were free to do whatever we wished with each other. Usually we spent time at Martin's apartment. It was easier for me to drive there, stay for a few hours, and then drive home. During those hours after work we would eat dinner and talk about non-work related things; unless there was office gossip to throw onto the table. An hour would be spent making out on his couch. We would touch but the clothes would never come off. I could tell that Martin wasn't ready to go that far. I found it sweet and also a turn-on that he was shy. If I loved him I could wait and wait as long as he wanted. Or so I thought.
After work that day I decided that I couldn't wait any longer. I wanted to show Martin how I truly felt. I wanted him to feel like he didn't need anyone but me. The only problem would be getting Martin to leave his comfort zone. I was afraid that I would get half way with him and he would say no. If he did, would I be able to stop or would I do something I'd truly regret? Luck happened to be on my side that night. Martin didn't seem to mind my advances. He didn't stop me when I took off his clothes. He didn't object to my fingers tracing lines along his body or when I placed my hands on his hips.
There had been the slightest bit of hesitation when we'd lain on the bed. I felt him underneath me, his muscles tensed. I'd been ready to roll over to the side and let him be when he twined his fingers in my hair and drew my lips to his. The tension was still there but he wanted me to know that he was ready if I wished to continue. I hesitated after the kiss to let him say 'no' if that's what he truly desired. Yet again he let me know that he was ready to travel down this road. This time he began fumbling with my belt. Maybe it was just my imagination, his hands felt like fire on my skin. I kissed him again, letting my lips linger on his, feeling the fire between us. He unbuckled my belt, unclasped the button. I playfully nipped his bottom lip.
The city lights played across our bare bodies as we became one. The fire burned furiously until it finally consumed us. We enjoyed the pleasures of one another, morphing into a heated ball of passion. Sweat-slicked skin pressed against sweat-slicked skin. Fingers explored, traced lines in the sweat, caressed, and held. Lips ignited passionate kisses and left their marks on other body parts. I never wanted the feelings to end but we both reached our high and the fire began to go out. I rolled onto my back trying to catch my breath. Martin lay beside me doing the same. I took his hand in mine and brushed my lips across his knuckles. I'm sure we both fell asleep that night with smiles.
Hours passed as we slept away the night. When I finally woke-up in the morning the other side of the bed was empty. For a minute I worried that the night of passion had been nothing more than a vivid dream. Then I took in my surroundings and realized that I was in fact in Martin's bedroom. But where was Martin? The pillows on his side of the bed where lying on the floor and the covers thrown back. There were no sounds coming from the kitchen or anywhere else in the apartment, not that I could hear anyway. I sat up in bed, letting the covers fall over my waste. The cool morning air seeped in through the window and caressed my bare chest.
"Martin?" I called; his name came out as more of a question than I really wanted it to.
"What?" He peeked through the doorway from the living room. "You'd better get up and get in the shower. Otherwise you're going to make us late."
I stood from the bed, no longer covering my naked body, and made my way toward the bathroom. "Can I at least have a kiss before going in, since you're too clothed to join me?"
He smiled and gave me a peck on the lips. I knew that he was holding back. There was no time for us to get back into bed before we had to be to work. I couldn't think up a good enough excuse to explain why both of us were running late, though if I was late, Martin would be too. The warmth of the water reminded me of the warmth created last night. I'd been so worried about moving our relationship in that direction. I wouldn't admit it to anyone else that I had been afraid that Martin would reject me. I'm used to being in charge and I wanted to be in charge, without driving him away.
Martin handed me a cup of coffee after my rushed shower and my quickly getting dressed. He looked a bit flushed this morning. I moved aside the collar of his shirt and smiled. In all our fun last night I'd left a mark him. Knowing that he would be at work with this mark concealed under the thin fabric of his shirt was quite the turn-on. He put his hand on my wrist. The fire between us began to grow again. The electricity of the touch was nearly too much to bear.
"We need to get to work," he said, his voice rough.
If we didn't leave now things would get out of hand. I wouldn't mind spending the day alone with Martin, never leaving the apartment. He wasn't ready for that yet and I wasn't going to force him to do something he didn't want to do. I grabbed my keys and away we went. The morning traffic was heavy, as usual. What would New York be without gridlock traffic? Traffic or no traffic we made it to work before our shift began. The ride had been quiet and I began to wonder if Martin was upset about something. I could have sworn he wanted to say something. Was it possible that things had gotten confusing between us? Or was he just feeling weird about going into work after what transpired last night?
"Do you think anyone will notice that I'm wearing the same suit that I wore yesterday?" I asked as we parked.
He turned to me. "I'm more worried that they'll notice you're wearing my tie."
I looked down at the black and red tie. "I had to wear one of your ties. I couldn't locate mine. Do you remember where it got thrown last night?"
It may have been my imagination but it seemed to me that Martin was running from me. He quickly climbed out of the car and headed for the front entrance. I climbed out after him, making sure to lock my car on the way. Last night had been wonderful in my book. Could I have done something wrong, something to make Martin act this way? Perhaps the kiss we shared this morning had not been held back, maybe it was that way because Martin was afraid. But afraid of what? I think about every touch, every kiss, and every single mumbled word last night. Both times that I hesitated he had shown me that he was ready. I felt the tension growing in the pit of my stomach. Closing in on it was this numbing feeling of pain. I'd pushed the only person I truly loved to do something they weren't ready for. Would there be any way to fix this problem?
"Danny, come on, stop dragging your feet," Martin called over from the elevator where he stood holding the doors open.
The doors closed a second after I entered the small metal box. Today it smelled like smoke; smoking wasn't permitted in the building. Someone had been breaking the rules. The box lurched up toward our office, to the area where co-workers would look at us and voice their good-mornings. The memories of our first kiss rushed into my mind at a good clip. Just the thought of his lips on mine sent a shiver down my spine. When I looked over at Martin I found him glancing nervously at his watch. Could it be that he regretted last night because he woke up late and didn't want to give anyone reasons to wonder about us? I felt like telling him that they wouldn't know, they couldn't possibly know. However the words just wouldn't come. The worry finally silenced my voice.
I sighed and leaned back against the fake wood-paneling. The movement caught Martin's attention and he looked over at me. I shifted my gaze to the floor. I saw no need of making him feel any more uncomfortable than he already clearly felt. My eyes rested on the tip of the tie I had on, the tie that belonged to Martin. When the day finished I'd drop him off at his place and drive home, still wearing his tie. A tie that I would hang in my closet, or maybe keep in my nightstand. And every time I looked at it, the memories of that night would come back. Memories to break my heart and still make me smile.
The elevator pinged to let us know we were one floor away from our office. I stood up straight, readying myself to get out of this stuffy box before Martin. Something lightly brushed against my hand. I looked down to see Martin take my hand in his and give it a small squeeze. As he stepped off the elevator he smiled back at me.