Disclaimer: Not only do I not only not own Kingdom Hearts, I don't own any crack either. Fancy that! Heh, I'm running out of excuses for my weirder fics...

Warnings: Character death, crack!pairing, and I think some run-on sentences wormed their way into here... Also, I should be arrested for "and" abuse.

Other: Okay, this didn't start as an Axiri (is that the term? I have no idea...), but that part sorta wrote itself in, and I was just "Okay, sure, whatever." Mm-hm, yeah, that's what happened. Anyway, I'm not too sure about most of this, so constructive criticism will get you boatloads of e-love. Oh, and isn't the title just lovely? I originally had a different title, but then I played around with a a few lines and came up with this. Yeah, I was that desperate for a more-than-slightly relevant title, which this barely is. (I'll stop rambling now and let you actually read the fic...)

Blood-Stained Cotton Candy

Life used to be nice, in the way that a mouthful of cotton candy is nice. Sweet, addicting, and gone way too quickly. It makes you want to take another bite, and then another, until you're either sick of the fluffy, sticky stuff that's pinking up your fingers and your chin, or else you've eaten it all and there's none left for later.

For me, it was the second case. My early years on the Islands up until I was fourteen were all cotton candy and no breaks from it. I was well and truly addicted to life back then, and all I wanted was more of it. Too bad I used it all up, so that there was no more left.

See, when I was fourteen, that's when I started running low. There was this big mess with a guy that we thought was named Ansem but was really just Xenahort's Heartless, and...well, we got over it. Sora and Riku picked up the pieces, and I just sat there and looked pretty. And when I got tired of that little routine-of-joy, well, I couldn't do anything. Because in the time that it took me to figure out that I could be more than just a doll, I managed to get myself kidnapped, and then kidnapped again. Oooh, let's do that again!

There was one good thing that came out of that, and it was Naminé. Well, I mean, I got to meet Naminé, my Nobody. She's a really interesting person, and I'm sad that she's quiet now, but I understand, because there are times, now and then, when I'm quiet too. She's just a lot more withdrawn than I am, is all. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

So, Big Mess Number One showed up, Sora kicked its ass, and then Big Mess Number Two crept up on us and took us by surprise. Well, maybe not Riku, but he was busy. So, it snuck up on Sora and I, and then I got captured while Sora went around and saved all the worlds. Not that I'm saying that he should've come and rescued me instead, because I think that he tried as soon as he found out, and the universe is more important than I am. At least, I think it is, but there are days when Axel disagrees with me. Then again, there are days when he does nothing but disagree with me, so he was probably joking.

So, after Big Mess Number Two got whipped, it decided to go and nurse its wounds. But it didn't go away. We didn't find out until a long time later, but apparently Xemnas was on to something when he said that "nothing is eternal." That doesn't mean that Nobodies can't die— they just can't stay dead.

We thought everything was okay— mainly because we didn't know about the Nobody Reappearing Trick yet— and we tried to relax. Have a bit of fun, you know? The only problem was that Sora and Riku still had a bunch of that cotton candy left, and I didn't. So they had fun, and I just watched. Sometimes I drew them in the sand, but I think that maybe my fingers were Naminé's and she always erased it once it was done. Or the tide did, which is sad, because they were all really nice.

Then, Big Mess Number Three reared its ugly head, all because Maleficent got her hands on some dumb lamp and wished for an evil creature that could destroy Sora. Not exactly the smartest thing she did— the "evil creature" was some Alternate Reality version of Sora, and the first thing it did was destroy Maleficent, the lamp, and the genie that had lived in said lamp. Then, it went about doing its job: that is, it started gathering power to utterly destroy our Sora.

Looking back, it all makes perfect sense. But life didn't give you bonus points for hindsight, and no amount of points could buy back someone's life. I wish that it could, because then this empty-guilty-bad feeling in my chest would go away.

Sora went first, and I'm not exactly sure what happened. First there was this arrow speeding towards Riku and none of us were close enough to do anything, and then Sora was there, blocking the arrow with his keyblade and taking a slash to his stomach that was meant for Riku, and none of us had even seen that one coming. His heart slipped away with Riku and me crying over him, and then suddenly, Roxas was there, wondering what had happened and where was Sora?

Roxas wasn't Sora, but he was a close friend. He was like Sora's brother, and I knew that he liked Naminé, who was like my sister, so we were okay around each other. Riku was even quieter, though, and I think that he blamed himself for Sora's death, even though he never said anything about it— in fact, I think that he didn't talk about it because he blamed himself. Riku's always been dumb like that.

Then, Roxas and Riku went out together. It was supposed to be a short mission, just a little scouting adventure, they had a contact that they needed to talk to. I knew that something was wrong, but they never told me anything, so I had to follow after them to see what was going on.

They met up with a blonde guy who had this blue guitar look-alike, and after they talked for a bit, Riku and Roxas went to leave, but suddenly the area was full of those Dusks and the blonde was looking very angry and scared and not-guilty, so I knew it wasn't his doing. I also knew he didn't rat them out because he stayed and fought, even though they were hopelessly outnumbered.

I summoned my keyblade and went forth, knowing that its flowery prettiness wouldn't do much good, but I still had to help. And then long, kinda scrawny-but-strong arms were wrapped around me and a sorta-familiar voice was telling me not to get involved, and I was yelling and struggling and crying as Riku and Roxas were cut down, because the blonde guy was already gone and Roxas didn't disappear like the others, he bled like Riku, and every red drop that stained the green grass was like a dagger aimed at my heart, wrenching two halves apart. Shortly after that, I passed out.

When I woke up, it was in a too-white room, and bright redness was the first thing I saw, bringing back all those horrible memories and making me cry even harder, so hard that I couldn't really breathe through the sobs and my throat was scratchy and hurt but not as bad as my heart did.

Since then, we've killed that...thing, Axel and I. The monster that had Sora and Roxas and Riku and the other blonde Nobody killed. It...wasn't as satisfying as I had thought it would be. After all, the thing had looked like Sora...and when I shoved my keyblade in its chest, it cried out like Sora would, and it looked up at me with Sora's eyes, and I watched as the light behind those eyes went out, just like they had when the real Sora died, and it was painful. But I had to do it; I had to avenge Sora and Riku and Roxas. And afterwards, I cried, a lot.

I stand at their graves today, knowing that it all makes perfect, twisted sense, because of course Sora would die for Riku, and of course Roxas and Riku would die together, and of course Axel would be there for me to cry on, because I was there for him to cry on, and we both spent several months doing nothing but crying over those three boys that somehow stolen our hearts and then given them back, only ripped up and stained with too much blood and too many tears, if Axel even has a heart (I think he does, but I had thought that Sora and Riku and I would grow old together).

I stand at their graves today, with Axel's arms wrapped around me and Axel's words in my ears, and I look at the blank gravestones that we had never written anything on, because cutting into those grey pieces of rock would be like carving words on their dead hearts, and we couldn't let that happen.

I stand at their graves today, with two open cans of paint in my hands and two more at my feet, and after slipping out of Axel's arms and setting the cans down on the sand-topped dirt, I stick my hand in and cup it, holding the bright blue liquid and watching as it stains my fingers and slips through them.

An hour later and I'm done. The gravestones are no longer grey, they're blue and red and purple and gold, and Axel's black robe is splattered but my pink outfit is even worse, and as we look at each other we share the same grin and laugh the same sad, relieved laugh, knowing that we can finally move on.

That night, I get the first good night's sleep that I've had in a while, and the next morning, Axel and I pick out a nice house to live in, within walking distance of the three gravestones, but they're hidden by a bend in the road and a cluster of trees. And that's the way we want it: close, but not right on top of all those memories, because we want to feel like Riku and Roxas and Sora are happy for us, but we don't want to feel guilty about it.

Years and years and years later, I expect to be an old crone, hobbling along the road to the beach with Axel, who I imagine won't age a bit, and we'll watch the sunset together, and when the Island-children gather around and ask us to tell them a story, I'll take them to the gravestones, walking slowly with a fine old cane that click click clicks along the stone-covered path that Axel and I are just planning right now. When we get to those three pieces of stone, with the colorful paint peeling off and worn down and faded, I'll ask the children to help me fix them up as I tell them a tale about three boys that I once knew...

And Axel will be there, in the shadows like he always is, nodding along and keeping me warm in the winter's chill, all the while sharing his bloody, borrowed cotton candy with me.