A/N: Warning, this chapter does contain some lemon... sort of?

When I woke up a vampire, I didn't dare think about the future. I didn't bother planning what I would do the next day, or the next week, next month, a year, a hundred years. I deliberately avoided thinking about living an eternity, had only focused on the basics. Hunting, learning to control my strength so I didn't pulverize everything I touched, staying out of the sun so I wouldn't see my skin fracture into a million rainbows.

I still don't know what I would be doing next year, or ten, or a hundred years from now. Perhaps I'll be going through high school again, or maybe college. Maybe I'll be deep in some remote wilderness, not bothering to blend into society. But I knew who I would be with, and that was all that mattered.

It was easy, accepting Edward and the Cullens back into my life. We quickly settled into a routine as the days passed. Edward and I spent days and nights in the little cave I had claimed, our hands working together to make the space larger, more comfortable for two vampires. Edward had even carved benches into the walls, alcoves to store our few belongings we kept in there. We liked having the privacy, the space to have hard conversations without being aware of other sensitive ears listening with bated breath, or the awkwardness of waiting for everyone to file out of the house before we could really start talking.

We also kissed. A lot.

Without my fragile humanity to worry about, Edward really kissed me, at every possible opportunity. He held me tighter, and longer. The kisses no longer ended when I wanted more- he willingly gave me more. Kissing Edward was something I'd never grow tired of, each time lit a fire along my skin, burning me in the best possible way.

He did end it, though, when things started to get heated. Much to my frustration.

Much like right now.

"Believe me, I want to," he said, swallowing and quickly regaining his composure. His breathing smoothed almost instantly, his hands smoothening his shirt from where I had bunched it tightly in my hands. "You have no idea how much I want to."

"No, I don't," I huff, crossing my arms. "Because you never show me how much you do. Do you even want me?"

It was a low blow, and I knew it, and I felt horrible the second it left my mouth. "I'm sorry, Edward. I know why you stop." He had explained, the first time this had happened. He was old fashioned- he wanted to wait.

As a human, I wouldn't have really listened. I would have told him that we weren't living in 1918 anymore, things have changed, and people had sex out of wedlock all the time, it wasn't a big deal. But it was to Edward. He was raised that way, and it was important to him. He was still very much a young man of 1918.

To my mortification, the rest of the Cullens had heard our disagreement. The girls had gotten me out of the house for a hunting trip, and along the way, they talked about their own mates.

Carlisle didn't even touch Esme, unless it was necessary, until they were engaged. They were never alone in the same room. He didn't kiss her properly until they had said their vows.

Jasper was a similar story. He would gift Alice with flowers and new dresses and shoes. He'd offer an arm as they went on chaperoned walks, he would steal a chaste kiss every great once in a while, but he wouldn't share more of himself until he and Alice married.

Rosalie admitted that, after what had happened to her as a human, she was reluctant to be intimate with Emmett. He had told her that she could take whatever she wanted from him, he never pressured her for anything more than she was willing to give. And when Rosalie was ready, he had run off with her to elope before he made good on his promise.

Times change, but change is difficult for a vampire, and some things are deeply engrained in them.

I close my eyes, breathing deeply. When I opened them, Edward looked like he was struggling with something, before his eyes darkened and hardened with resolve. "You worry that I don't want you?" His voice was low, the pain an undertone.

My shoulders lift in a shrug. "I don't know. You've only mentioned it when this happens," I gesture between us. "You know I want you, I've made it pretty clear." And it was embarrassing, the first time it happened. We had been kissing, and I shifted under him, inhaling his scent at the same time- when I suddenly smelled myself. I was mortified to learn that my arousal was so easily detected. Edward had explained that was his cue to back off when I was human, and that it was a normal reaction, nothing to be embarrassed of, though of course I still was.

"But?" Edward prompted.

I hesitate for a moment, trying to gather my words. And some courage. "But I only hear you want me when I get frustrated, as if it is meant to appease me. I never smell any changes in your scent, I never feel anything…"

"I'm sorry, love," Edward moves so our sides are pressed tightly together. His lips ghost over my neck as he speaks, sending shivers up and down my body. "I'm sorry I ever made you doubt how I feel. The… desire that I have for you."

His hands knot in my hair, holding me close while he kisses me deeply. His teeth nibble at my lips, his tongue glides swiftly and thoroughly along mine. Soon, we are right back where we were before, with my back pressed into the stony floor, his body hovering above mine. I hold my body still, worried that he would end this again if he caught scent of how he was affecting me, but one of his knees press between mine, spreading my legs. He inhales deeply, a small, strangled sound escaping somewhere from his chest as my scent floods the air around us. He presses his lips to mine once, twice, before moving to my neck, his kisses feather light as he slowly, and deliberately, presses his hips into me, letting me feel all of him.

I gasp, heat flooding through me, and Edward lets out a moan, his body rigid above mine. Edward returns his mouth to mine, his kisses resuming, as he presses himself tighter against me. I was reeling from the feel of him, lined up with me from head to toe, from the feeling of him, hard against the junction of my thigh. As I suck his lower lip into my mouth, biting onto it, his hips rock softly down into me, a low growl reverberating in his chest. His plants hungry, open mouthed kisses against my jaw before raising his head to look at me with dark eyes.

"Now you know," he pants, as he carefully raises himself above me before rolling onto his back. "Now you know the effect you have on me."

At my silence, Edward turns a worried expression on me. "I'm sorry, was that too much, Love?"

I quickly shake my head and grasp one of his hands tightly in mine, I notice his fingers tremble slightly. "No," I respond, "I'm just… stunned. I didn't think you'd let yourself react like that."

At this, he lets out a laugh. "Let myself? Bella, that is always how I react to you. I just never let you know about it."

"Why?"

"It isn't something a gentleman would let a lady know about… but you were right, what you said. I knew what I was doing to you, but you never knew what you were doing to me. I decided that wasn't really fair." Edward shrugs, his eyes studying the cave ceiling before sliding to mine. "You deserve to know how much you are wanted."

I smile, snuggling into his side. Together, we watch the light against the rock wall change with the setting of the sun.