Author's Note: Yah. Fanfiction Us were originally and generally Miss Cam's brilliant idea. They allow our beloved characters to punish their wrongdoers through our capable and willing hands. Praise her. Oh-and I don't own these characters. I do own Brenna. And her friends. Unless she somehow becomes friends with a teacher. Then I don't own them. Well- yah.

Brenna Simms (a.k.a. Halliwell#5) was sitting at her computer . . .like she had been for the past three hours. It was getting late, but it was just that she really wanted to finish this last fic. She had been working on it for a few days, and had decided that it lacked romance. Finally, she was to the last, eye-opening sentences.

'Phoebe and Chris stood under the archway leading into the sun porch. "Your an empath. I thought you would have figured it out . . ." "I know, I know. But now that I have, it just feels like it was meant to –

Brenna never got to finish her sentence. She had become distracted by a single sheet of paper that had appeared before her in a swirl of white light. She looked around in a sense of 'I hope to God that I wasn't the only one to see that.' But she was, seeing as she was the only occupant of her dim, computer-lit room. Brenna glanced down hoping mostly that the paper might be gone. Not because she didn't want to see what it said, because she really did, but for the sake of her sanity. The paper was still there. She poked it hesitantly with her finger. It didn't do anything. Carefully wrapping her fingers around the top edges, she lifted up and read:

Congratulations! Welcome to the Official University of Charmed Fan Fiction. Unfortunately, we cannot allow you to finish your present project. It is icky. But, your writing's ickiness is not your doom. You may still earn a license that would permit you to continue writing 'Charmed' fan fiction. But only once you have taken, and passed the assigned courses at our University, may you achieve such a license. Please complete the application below as fully as possible so that we may specialize your accommodations.

("Specialize my accommodations?")

Name: Brenna Kay Simms

Age: 18

Magical Being? Whitelighter-witch

If you are a witch, please specify whether you are Good or Evil: Good

If you are a demon, please specify what type: n/a

If you are a faery, please specify if your powers come from Water, Air, Fire, or the Earth: n/a

If you are a mermaid, please specify whether you are freshwater or saltwater: n/a

Please state your preferred pairing: Chris-Phoebe

Please state a lust object, if any: Chris

Please state whether you have or have not ever written slash: Never

Brenna had only two thoughts. On one side of her mind, it said, 'It's always better to go along with your hallucinations. Fill it out.' On the other side, it told her 'I'm horrifyingly curious as to what should happen if I just . . .' She vaguely felt her left hand reaching for a pen, and starting to write. As Brenna finished filling out the hallucinatory application, it disappeared in the same swirling white orbs that it had arrived in. She blinked for a moment while her eyes adjusted to the once again stark lighting in her dorm, then, with an over-whelming sense of surprise (mostly because she had taken Stay Awake before writing), began to feel tired. Brenna lazily glanced over to her bed. Feeling she didn't have the strength to get up, she tilted back in her chair, put out a hand, and tried to will the bed closer. Brenna tipped over; though, she was out before she hit the ground. So she couldn't see herself being gradually surrounded by the white orbs that had accompanied, and taken away her application. She vanished in much the same way.

Piper, right hand on hip, was standing on the new stone steps of the University, and reading the application of one of the latest arrivals. Pursing her lips, she called for the aforementioned empath; "Phoebe!" The other Charmed One poked her head out of the large double-doors, and into the sunlight.

"Look what we have here." Phoebe came outside swinging her arms- that was until she read what her sister was offering her. "Another one that believes you and Chris are meant to be together." Phoebe scrunched her face. "Isn't there a class for this?" Piper asked. Her sister high- heeled her way back up the steps in disgust;

"There's gonna be."

Brenna felt herself lying on soft grass. Glancing up from her sprawled position, she realized that the sun was up, and that she was not the only one in this strange situation. Well, only human, that is. Several feet away, there was what appeared to be a mermaid struggling to flip herself over.

"Do you need some help?" Brenna aimed at the mermaid (she was still overcoming her grogginess from what she expected was Tylenol PM mistaken for Stay Awake). The mermaid (whom Brenna now noticed had neon blue hair) looked over at her, and seeming to struggle with herself, nodded her head 'yes'. Brenna, still unable to stand properly, crawled her way over to her. Managing to get to her knees, she heaved the girl up so that she sat with both hands behind her. The mermaid brushed some of her blue hair out of her eyes.

"I'm Rosewitch." She said, shifting her weight so she could shake hands. Brenna took a seat beside her, and complied.

"Brenna." She looked around at their surroundings. About a hundred yards away, and directly in front of them, was what seemed to be a university. Judging by appearance alone, it had to be centuries old, and judging by the influx of young people on its lawn, it had to be move- in day. Though, looking around further, she noticed that none were standing; well, able to stand.

They watched as people materialized glowingly, a few feet apart from each other, and fell into various crumpled heaps on the ground. A vague snoring sound could be heard throughout the campus.

"Where are we?"

Inside the staff section of OUCF, the late-risers were adjusting to their new responsibilities.

A young man looked up from his position at a circular table, situated in the middle of the room. "Are you sure these are filled out right?" he asked the man sitting on his left. The man ran a hand through his dark hair. He glanced up,

"Why?"

"Because some of these have Phoebe and I down as a couple." His table partner let his mouth drop slightly open as he reached for the application that was held up. His eyes went straight to the problem area.

"Ah. Another one of those people," he said, raising his eyebrows and handing the form back. "Sort of an 'ignorance is bliss' time of thing." going back to his pile of papers, he mumbled: "Don't see why they can't write about me and Phoebe."

A woman made her way into the room and over to the teapot. She gave off an 'I just fell out of bed, and haven't yet realized I'm still in my pajamas' type of air. Flipping light brown hair out of her eyes, she reached up into the cupboard for a teacup.

"Nem. I see you're up." The man said. Nemue looked back at the table, still reaching for a cup.

"You know, I've noticed that to." She said. Her shortness triumphing, she let her arm drop, and looked around at floor level. "Anyone see a stool?" The younger man looked up again,

"Over by the sink." He made a note on one of his papers as Nem pulled the step- stool over to the counter. "The rest of you know I'm Piper's son, right?" Nem turned around for a moment, blinking her eyes.

"Um . . . yes."

"Just checking."

Nem held her newly acquired teacup and pushed the stool away with her foot. "Are you the only ones up, yet?" she asked. She pulled the teabag jar over.

"Mom and Phoebe are out with the students, and Darrell is off securing the perimeter."

"Excuse me?" Nem sputtered over her Cup o' Tea ('Irish Tea- now with ten times the caffeine').

"He said he wanted to. Looking for Chris fangirls." Chris clarified, "Wants to make it up to me." He narrowed his eyes.

"Right." She nodded her head. "And Paige?"

"She's setting crystals around The Section." Cole answered That's right- he's resurrected and checking applications.

"And Wyatt is ?"

"Being watched by the elf."

"Oh! And mini- Chris?"

"With Wyatt." Cole shot Nem a quick glance.

"I'm only a little paranoid." She said, waving a hand. Nem let her gaze wander up to the ceiling. "Was that always there?" The other occupants of the Staff Section looked up to see twinkling lights stretched out above them. "Oh. Faery magic." Cole shifted back to his forms.

"Well, I feel safer."

"I should be making my rounds, checking things out," Nem set down her cup, and headed back upstairs to her Loft of Peace/Naps. She clenched her fists, "Greeting the students."

Brenna and Rosewitch had been sitting on the ground for a rather long time. Rose, as she had asked to be called, was most responsible for this, because, she did not, in fact, have legs to walk around on; though, the other factor of not knowing where to go did hinder the would- be expedition. Many other people seemed to have the same mind frame, and were sitting where they had fallen. Brenna got to her feet and flexed her leg muscles; she had decided to go figure out where the heck they were, and if at all possible, find someone in charge. She made her way through various groups and piles of people, trying to see if she could find some semblance of where she was. After turning left at a large oak tree, Brenna found herself at the entrance to a building sporting a banner baring the message "Welcome OUCF Students and Staff". Had she been paying attention, she would have noticed she was standing in front of the entrance hall. It was for this reason that while puzzling the sign, she was run into by a short woman in a black suit- who just kept going as Brenna slowly returned to her senses. She chased after her as they went down the stone steps.

"Hey- wait!" the woman, still going down the steps, spared Brenna a quick glance back. She finally caught up with her as they were to the last five stairs. "Wait- wait," she panted, "Where are we?"

The woman stopped and smoothed her blazer and pants. "I was just going to clarify that now," she said. "Can you see my shoes?" Brenna looked down at the pants that completely covered the woman's feet.

"Ummm . . ."

"Good." The woman turned to face the lawn full of recovering students. "Could you move down, please?" Brenna stepped down into the grass. "Thank- you." The woman said shortly. She clasped her hands in front of her. "Excuse me! Hey, person on steps, here!" People looked up from their varying states of disorientation. "Alright. Welcome to the Official University of Charmed Fanfiction." Various blinking fits irrupted from the crowd. She continued. "You're here because you filled out the applications you received either last night or the night before, and because you write, and- or wrote, Bad- Fanfiction." She paused here, raising her eyebrows as if waiting for an answer. Vague snoring was heard. "Which you would have known, had you actually read the form. Moving on. You will be here until you complete your assigned list of classes. And you MUST pass if you are to continue writing fanfiction; when passed, you will be granted a license at the end of the school year." The woman stopped for a moment and searched for what else needed to be said. She glanced over at the writers, many of which did not seem to be able to stand on their own. She grimaced as if she had forgotten something. "Ah- yes. Instructors specializing in their fields will teach your classes. You may only address them as Mr., Miss, Ms., or Your Eminence. You will call me Miss Nemue, or if your need to shorten things overcomes you, Miss Nem. I am your Assistant Headmistress. You may follow me into the entrance hall." Nem turned and started to make her way back up the steps; Brenna raced back up to follow her.

"Miss Nem, my friend's a mermaid. She can't exactly stand on her own . . ." Nem stopped and gave a quick nod of her head.

"Ah, yes. We'll have to fix that. Leo." She called. A moment later the whitelighter himself appeared in a swirl of blue light. "Can you get Phoebe working on the mermaid problem?" Leo gave a slight grimace.

"Actually, I haven't been able to find her. She's completely off my radar. I think she was upset with some of the decisions the students made on their forms- Excuse me?" He and Nem looked over at Brenna, who had since moved next to Leo, and proceeded to poke his arm. The campus was filled with silence as the other students realized that one of their number had touched a beloved character.

"Wha- huh?" Brenna said. She abruptly pulled her finger away. Nem took out a small planner that she should have had no way of fitting into her coat. Obtaining a pen from her pocket, she flipped to a blank page, and proceeded to write something.

"Miss Simms, I presume?"

"Yes?" Brenna felt doom creeping in at her from every angle; while having accomplished one of her goals in life, she had landed herself in what we call a bad situation.

"I can assure you all the staff here are, in fact, real. But I must ask you not to touch them."

"Oh. Ah- huh." Nem closed her book and returned it to the unknown pocket as Leo orbed out of sight. Brenna watched as Miss Nem walked into the building. Regaining her senses once more, she called to her: "My friend!" Nem continued on her way. Brenna followed.

Brenna stepped inside the building. She was not prepared for what she saw.

"Whoa." Her gaze traveled around an immense, mahogany, greeting hall slowly filling up with students. Ornate carvings surrounded a large stone fireplace that, upon closer inspection, was found to have a great cauldron inside it. Nem turned around and smiled at Brenna.

"Your friend will be fine, take a seat and adjust." Brenna wasn't exactly sure if the cause for that grin was sympathy or malice, but she took the assistant headmistress's advice and followed the paneling to an adjacent room of long, wooden tables. Sitting at one of the tables was Rosewitch, already waiting for her. She looked slightly surprised. Brenna sat down.

"I saw you! I saw you! You touched him! You touched Leo!" Rose flapped her hands in excitement. Brenna snapped back to the earlier experience. Black planner.

"I think I'm on some sort of death list."