Everyone stared at Kate in disbelief.
"What are you talking about, freak? Why the hell would my Leslie take a dumb BABY?" Ana yelled.
"Because he wanted revenge, dumbass! Don't you remember Claire giving you two the chopping of your lifetimes?" Kate yelled back.
"Yeah, but he wouldn't just take –
Kate cut her off with another snappy remark, and all the guys stepped back as Ana and Kate started yelling insults over each other. No one could really hear what they were yelling, but decided it would be best to just keep out of the way.
Jack and Sayid tried to make small talk, Locke started sharpening a knife or two and Charlie looked helplessly around at the scenery. He was staring up at the trees, singing something completely out of tune under his breath, when he noticed something odd. Charlie wrinkled up his eyes in confusion, trying to see what it was.
"Jack…" he said slowly as he realized what he was looking at. Jack immediately came over, glad of the distraction, as the conversation with Sayid was getting a little too kinky for his liking.
"What's up, Charlie?"
Charlie pointed up at the trees and Jack gasped. Sayid and Locke came over.
"What the hell is he doing up there?" Charlie said.
"I have no idea…" Sayid replied, his eyes still in the tree. Jack cautiously went over to Kate and Ana, still arguing.
"Kate? Ana? Um… You might wanna…" They ignored him. "We… um… HEY!"
Kate and Ana turned and glared at him. "What!" They said at the same time.
"Look!" Jack pointed and they followed his gaze.
"LESLIE!" Ana shrieked, running to the base of the tree. "Leslie! What the hell are you doing up there!"
"Ana?" Arzt's muffled voice came from near the top of the tree. "Oh, Ana… no… what are you doing here?"
Ana looked puzzled. "What? What do you mean, what am I doing here? I came to find you!"
"Well, just… go back, honey."
"What! Leslie, come down here this instant and explain yourself!"
"No. I don't –
"Oh god, this is stupid." Jack muttered. "Arzt! Where's Aaron!" he yelled up.
"Aaron? You mean the baby? He's up here."
"WHAT!" Everyone said at once.
"You don't mean… up there, as in… in the tree?" Charlie said.
"Well Iduh/I. Now, Ana, go back to the beach, I don't want you to see this."
"See what? Friggin come down, Arzt!" Ana yelled, her temper getting the better of her.
Meanwhile, Charlie was having a nervous breakdown. "Oh god, Aaron's in the tree… Claire is gonna kill me, oh my god…." He started crying into Locke's shoulder. Locke patted him sympathetically on the head.
Jack called everyone together into a huddle. "We need a plan. Arzt has obviously gone mental from being so much of a loser, and now he's holding Aaron hostage in a tree to get back at Claire. Who knows what he'll do, his deranged mind probably doesn't –
"Hey, he's not crazy!" Ana interrupted, but got ignored.
" – know what he's doing. Our main priority has to be getting Aaron out of that tree, and soon. So, here's the plan. Sayid, you and Kate will climb the tree on opposite sides to try and sneak up on Arzt. Locke, try and form some kind of netting we can hold at the bottom if Aaron falls. Sound good?"
'Wait, there's no way Arzt won't notice them climbing up. This is never gonna work!" Charlie wailed.
"Ah, that's where you come in, Charlie." Jack continued. "You are going to play a lullaby on your guitar and sing Arzt to sleep, so he won't notice Kate and Sayid. That's also why we need the net, which I'm sure Locke can make easily enough; in case Aaron falls when Arzt is asleep. Okay?"
Everyone nodded, except Ana.
"Wait, stuff Aaron, what if Leslie falls out of the tree?"
Everyone looked at Jack, who shrugged. "I dunno. He probably won't… actually, thinking about it, he probably will. But that's not my problem. Everybody, get to work!"
Everyone moved off to prepare for OSAFA (Operation Save Aaron From Arzt), except Ana, who was worried about Arzt, and hadn't been given a job anyway. She looked up at her darling Leslie, and then at the preparations for Jack's plan, and knew she had to do something. She had to warn Arzt.