Thanks again for the great reviews. Glad you're hanging in there with me. Thanks Lynn for the offer of a psychiatrist – does he make housecalls to Australia?

Chapter Ten

Kristin leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. The only noise around her was the steady beep of monitors. The medbay was finally quiet as the last of the worried crew had been chased out and she felt the weight of exhaustion settle over her. This felt like it had been the longest day of her life. She was startled from her thoughts by a gentle hand on her shoulder and she looked up to see the kind brown eyes of Doctor Jacobs.

"I'm not even going to bother trying to get you to go to bed but here, I brought you some tea." She smiled as he handed her a steaming cup of Earl Grey and she gratefully took a sip.

"How did you go with the neurosurgeon?"

"Well I just finished speaking with him and he's going to review the charts and get back to me. In the meantime we've done all we can, Kristin."

"I know, thankyou." She looked over at the bed before continuing. "I don't know how many times I have had to tell family members they would just have to wait and see how their child or brother or wife would be but ….." she put her hand over her mouth to stop the sob that nearly escaped.

"But it's different when it's someone you care about." They both turned around to see Ben standing in the doorway holding pillows and blankets.

"Lieutenant, I thought you had gone to your quarters to sleep."

"Yeah, well, I figured you'd still be here and could do with some company. Besides I wasn't going to get much sleep down there tonight."

Jacobs looked at the pair of them and knew there was no point arguing. He shrugged his shoulders and nodded at Kristin before quietly heading back to his office.

Ben pulled a chair up next to Kristin and passed her a pillow and blanket. He looked over at the captain who seemed to be swallowed by bandages and asked tentatively, "So how did the surgery go?"

"Doctor Jacobs did an excellent job. There was a depressed skull fracture which they managed to repair and that relieved the pressure that was causing the seizures. He shouldn't have any more of those."

"Buuuut?"

"But what?"

"Come on, Kristin. What aren't you saying? You don't have a very good poker face you know."

She sighed and looked away before speaking again. "This injury was untreated for far too long. There was bleeding into the brain which led to a blood clot. Doctor Jacobs thinks he's stopped the bleeding and we have a neurosurgeon reviewing the files we sent him to make sure."

"And?"

The tears that had been threatening all day finally broke loose and she started to sob.

"And we don't know how much permanent damage has been done. There is swelling of the brain and Lucas said Nathan was behaving strangely. Until he wakes up and we run tests we just don't know."

Ben pulled his chair in front of hers and took both her hands in his. He usually had something to say for every occasion but nothing came to mind. She smiled at him anyway, feeling grateful that she had someone to share her worries with.

He felt like he was floating. Not in water but something else. Something he couldn't define. It was dark and warm and quiet. Everything felt hazy and he struggled to make sense of his surroundings. There was no feeling in his body and his mind started to register that something was very wrong with this picture. As he tried to bring his thoughts into focus he felt a strange sensation in his chest. Panic started to rise as he realised he couldn't breathe. It was like someone was holding a pillow over his face and he strained to push it off. Somewhere in the darkness a voice drifted through. Familiar but distorted, as though it was coming from a long way away.

"Don't fight it, Lucas. It's helping you breathe. Just relax."

Somewhere in the depths of his mind he knew that he trusted that voice and he stopped straining and went back to floating.

Ben held Lucas' hand and whispered in his ear, hoping something was getting through. Finally he felt the tension leave his body and Lucas settled back on the bed. He let out a sigh of relief and looked up to see what Kristin was doing. She was checking the readouts on the monitors and seemed to be satisfied with what she was seeing.

"He's starting to wake up and it's fairly common for people to panic when they first feel the ventilator tube. It feels like you are choking and it's just a reflex to try to fight against it," she explained.

"So he'll soon be awake?" Ben asked hopefully.

"I don't know. You don't go straight from unconscious to wide awake. It's like coming up through layers of consciousness. He'll wake up when he's ready. In the meantime whatever you are doing seems to be keeping him calm, so by all means, keep doing it." She smiled at him and he grinned back. At last he felt like he was doing something helpful.

Kristin looked up and realised that Ben had fallen asleep. It wasn't surprising given how little sleep he had had. She felt her own eyes beginning to droop but she just didn't want to close them. She was afraid that if she closed them, when she opened them again one or both of them would be gone. It struck her as a really irrational thought for a scientific mind but she couldn't shake it.

The idea that she had missed diagnosing Lucas' condition was unsettling to say the least and she didn't feel she could let down her guard until he was given the all clear. She knew she was being unfair to herself but it didn't make the feeling go away.

She leaned over the bed and took hold of the captain's hand in her own. She was surprised at the lack of strength there. He felt somehow brittle, as though he could break if she squeezed too hard.

"Don't be so ridiculous!" she admonished herself. "He's the strongest person I know."

And yet, right now he was lying in front of her looking anything but strong. Tears ran down her cheeks as she gently stroked the side of his face.

"Why do we waste so much time dancing around each other?"

Katie Hitchcock walked through the medbay doors, knowing full well that she would find Ben there. He wasn't in his quarters when she went to check on him and there wasn't anywhere else he would be. She smiled when she saw him. He had a chair pulled up next to Lucas' bed and sometime during the night he had fallen asleep with his head resting on his arm on the side of the bed. He was holding Lucas' hand firmly in his and she knew he had been there all night.

She couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy as she knew how much he cared about Lucas. For all his childishness that drove her crazy at times, there was no denying he had a kind heart. He didn't always display the most responsible attitude but when it really mattered, he was right where he needed to be. She thought about how stiff and sore he would be when he woke up and she gently shook his shoulder. He stirred and opened his eyes but took a minute to register where he was. He stared at her and then looked back at his friend. Lucas still hadn't woken up but the tension seemed to have gone out of his face.

"Rough night hey?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah." Ben stood and stretched, trying to stretch out the kinks in his back. He was surprised when he felt Katie slip her arms around his waist and hug him.

"What was that for?" he asked, caught a little off guard.

"Just thought you needed a friend and what ever else may have happened, we never stopped being friends."

He smiled over her head as he hugged her back, grateful for the sense of calm and comfort she brought with her. He realised that Kristin was gone from her chair and he thought about heading out to look for her when she came back through the doors. She looked exhausted and he wondered if she had fallen asleep like him or else stayed up all night.

Kristin moved around the bed to check the captain's monitors and nodded slightly at the readout.

"How's he doing?" Katie asked.

"All the vitals are good. Now we just need for him to wake up."

While they were talking, Doctor Jacobs came back into the room carrying a folder.

"I've just spoken with the neurosurgeon again and he's really happy with the latest stats we sent through."

Kristin smiled at the positive news but as she looked back at the captain lying in the bed she found herself shaking. It was really easy to relay medical information to others and expect them to take it as gospel. It was so much harder when you knew the variables involved and your mind kept going back to the worst case scenario.

As Ford made the trek down to medbay again he realised he had lost count of how many times he had been back and forth during the night. Lack of sleep was wearing on all of them but he just couldn't seem to make his mind stop long enough to actually rest. He had seen both Ben and Kristin had settled in for the long haul and the last time he came down they were both asleep.

He came through the doors just in time to hear Doctor Jacobs' news from the neurosurgeon and he smiled with relief. He was surprised to see Katie had beaten him there but not at all surprised to see she had her arm around Krieg's waist.

All eyes were focused on Bridger as they discussed his condition but Ben suddenly felt Lucas move beside him. He felt his hand being squeezed and looked down to see he was awake. Lucas stared back at him with panic in his eyes. He began to tense up again as he fought the gagging sensation of the ventilator tube and tried to pull at it with his free hand.

"Whoa, hold on Lucas, calm down!" Ben urged. "I know it's scaring you but you gotta relax. It's helping you breathe."

Lucas tried to focus on Ben's face before him but he couldn't stop the overwhelming panic. Kristin rushed over and held his other arm as she tried to calm him.

"It's all right, we'll take it out but you have to calm down. Do you hear me?"

The authority in her voice began to take effect and Lucas tried to fight down the terror in his mind. The feeling of choking was too close to what he had experienced when he was pulled under the water and his mind didn't want to go there again.

Lucas still had a grip on Ben's hand as the two doctors eased the ventilator tube out. The look that passed between them didn't go unnoticed and Ben wondered why they looked so worried. This was good wasn't it? Lucas was breathing on his own and he was awake.

Finally Ben felt Lucas relax the vice-like grip on his hand and he realised it was out.

Kristin looked at Jacobs and quietly said, "Be ready to put it back if we need to." He nodded in agreement and they both looked at the teenager waiting to see how he would go on his own.

"Your throat will be sore and it will still hurt to breathe for a while but you are doing just fine." Kristin leaned over and smiled. Lucas tried to speak but his mouth just wouldn't form the words. He felt incredibly tired and it was easier just to slip back into that warm place for a while. Ben looked at Kristin with alarm but she smiled reassuringly.

"It's all right. He's just asleep."