This written in Jude's pov. after Tommy left!

I do not own anything on instant star or any characters. Basically I won nothing.

Can you feel the cold September breeze flow across your face. Summer is gone and school is ready to put me in a major stress ball. When you feel that breeze it's time for school shopping. Right now I'm thinking of taking the snobby way out of it and just getting home schooled, I mean I am the first instant star and with Tommy being gone nothing feels right. I feel so empty without him. What can I say he was the wind beneath my wings and with out that wing I can not fly.

"Sis!" God Sadie screeches so loudly.

"What?" I scream loudly, what in god names could she be interrupting my thought for.

"Don't scream, I'm right outside your bedroom door. Darius wants you in the studio in 20 minutes,." Sadie says as she intrudes my privacy

How rude, just opening the door. Ya know I used to look forward into going to the studio because I had my Tommy time, but now all it is Kwest and I think my sister already jumped on the band wagon.

"Fine." God is her voice screechy or is it me and this massive headache.

Sadie sighs, "Jude clean yourself up, stop moping cause' Tom is gone."

"I'm not moping!" Because he's gone, I'm indulging in sadness because he's gone.

Sadie is giving me that mean look that you see in movies before that person dies, "Get dressed, I'm taking you."

And right now is where I wake up and here Tommy at the bottom of the steps yelling 'Girl hurry up we're gonna be late.' and then we wisp away in his viper. But obviously I don't wanna wake up from this horrid dream. Where Sadie has to be mom while she's out with Don. Finally Sadie leaves. So what to wear today? Ripped jeans or ripped jeans? White or Black shirt? Converse or Sandals? Okay two out of three answers are a lot easier that what color to wear. Black Shirt, Ripped Jeans, Converse. Perfect outfit! Spray some weird perfume on. Comb my hair and, "I'm ready."

Down the stairs and out the door before she put her lip gloss on. Sadie comes out in her fancy smancy suit. Her nickname just got longer, Sexy-Secretary-Sadie. Kudos to Sadie for having maybe one of the longest provocative nick names ever.

At G-Major it's the normal hustle and bustle, but Darius looks sort of unpredictable. Cross fingers. I walk by him pretending I don't notice him and I'm almost through, but….oh god he noticed.

"Jude." Darius sounds a little stern, yet when doesn't he.

"Yes Darius." Act innocent and sweet.

"I am proud to say you have a follower." Darius you're freaking me out, "Our new instant star is just like you except for style, she got a gig at vinyl palace. She's into to hip hop but I think she's gonna be a top charter too. Besides style she is also of age to party, 21, so keep up. Before your follower turns to leader." Sounds cold.

Nervous laugh, "What's her name."

"Karma." So how come Karma gets a sweet voice and I get Mr. Macho-Man? "You'll meet her later, get to work."

Do as he says and I won't loose my job, something I've learned over the past year. I walk into the studio and see Kwest talking to Sadie, I hear my name and don't bother to say a word, but yet they see me.

"Oh, hey Jude." Kwest says, I know he's trying to hide something.

Sadie walks out without saying anything to me just giving that death look. Death is her new nickname if she keeps giving me that look the rest of the day.

"So were you guys talking bout'?" I ask obviously knowing it was about me.

Kwest looks at me, he's serious, "Get over him Jude, Sadie told me you've haven't been doing a lot lately except sit and mope." Once again not mope just indulging sadness.

"I'll never be over him." Totally true.

"Jude he was just a producer and maybe a great friend, but we all loose friends in life, so why be stuck on him?" Only if Kwest knew what we shared.

"He was more then that to me and I was more then that to him." I know, the way he kissed me that night, I know he cares for me.

"Tell me what was so special between yous and I could help." Kwest I know you're desperate to know but, this is indeed in need of a subject changer.

"Uh Kwest I wrote a new song." It wasn't new at all I wrote it while waiting for Tommy, I didn't wanted to record it, but times in need.

Kwest shook his head as he point the recording booth, like I didn't know where it was, retard.

After recording my ass off Kwest finally gives me a break. In the lounge I see Portia talking on the phone to somebody.

"Tommy!" Portia exclaims into the phone.

She's talking to Tommy! Run Jude, run! I race up to Portia. I Grab the phone from her hands as she stares at me.

"Hello? Tommy." I ask, hearing breaths come from the other line.

"Uh, Jude, bye." I can't believe he hung up, at least he knew my voice.

Uh, oh, Portia looked at me with a glare, I handed her, her phone and laughed nervously. I am in deep doggie doodoo.

"You ruined it!" Portia screamed at me, what did I ruin?

I give a confusion look, "Was it Tommy?" I stare at her, "Honestly please tell me."

Portia sighs, "He has my child, I blamed it on him, saying Tommy could take care of her." And all I got out of that was Portia had a child. "He was forced to leave unknown with a note, but he couldn't do that. He had to talk to you."

I don't know why, but I'm crying, I do miss him, knowing he's safe is good, but-but he didn't wanna talk and now I believe what he said, he might not be back.

"Tommy loves you Jude, but honey, " Portia sighs, "He ain't coming."

I start to cry into her arms, I'm determined to talk to Quincy if it's the last thing I do.

"Will I be able to talk to him." I ask, please say yes, please god!

"He's scared Jude, give it time, and he'll call." I believe her.

Now I sit on my bed, door locked, my music blaring. White lines, who many till' I'm in your arms? Tom Quincy how many till' I'm in your arms, white lines, will bring you home. This song, this song, I dedicate my heart to you Tommy. The song ends along with my CD as I stare at my room, when I notice a picture. It was when I first met Tommy, the whole publicity thing, about me and Tommy dating. Sometimes I wish it were true then maybe we wouldn't be here, maybe I wouldn't be here, so lonely. I'm pushing myself out of bed, I'm so thirty, all this crying realy drains a girl out.