White Pony: Just a lil something I wrote while I was hyper!
Disclaimer Dude: Oh, somebody please kill me!
White Pony: You're so funny, Disclaimer Dude! Do your disclaiming!
Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own any references that may appear in this story.
Within the Depths of Randomness
Story One: An Idiot and His Hamster.
One morning in a faraway land, it was raining potatoes. While scratching his back with a broom, a guy named Bob was hit in the head with a potato. Bob fell to the ground and his whole body began to twitch. After many hours of twitching, Bob turned into a corndog with big, squeaky clown shoes covered in peanut butter. Suddenly, Bob the corndog was wearing a twenty gallon jug of milk on his head and was screaming.
"GRANDMA, WHAT BIG FEET YOU'VE GOT!" Bob screamed.
There was Bob's hamster, Chuppy. Chuppy is a mad, psychopathic Syrian who wants to become the merciless, supreme overlord of Earth.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Chuppy laughed evilly for no reason. Lightning flashed evilly behind the evil hamster's body as he laughed evilly.
Chuppy's stupid owner, Bob, came into his room wearing a trash bin over his stupid corndog body.
"You! Owner! I don't recall giving you permission to enter my territory!" Chuppy bellowed at his owner in his British accent.
"But, Pa, you can't tie me in a sack and throw me in a puddle!" cried the corndog.
"Imbecile!"
Then Chuppy started foaming at the mouth when a giant polka-dotted rubber ducky jumped out of the bathtub in the middle of the room and began tap dancing. Suddenly, an unpredictable midget in a chimpanzee costume painted everything pink. Minutes later, everybody in town was yodeling to the Indiana Jones theme song and doing a happy dance.
Bob the corndog turned into a goat with a collar with little bells. Bob the goat danced like an idiot and he limboed under a hill. He chopped down a stump with a giant pickle. Bob tossed the pickle into the air and it exploded. Suddenly, an extra-large bucket of fried chicken went up to Bob the goat and started beating him up. After beating him up, the bucket of fried chicken went away singing the Canadian National Anthem.
Chuppy heard a noise in the backyard that sounded like chocolate ice cream.
"What the duce?" exclaimed Chuppy and he pressed a secret button at the bottom of his cage. The door of his cage opened and he jumped out. Chuppy was in his pink tutu and he danced to the backyard. He took a look around and he found an airplane doing jumping jacks in the sandbox.
"DIE, AIRCRAFT!" cried Chuppy and he got out his bubble gun. He shot the plane with a fury of bubbles and the plane went up in flames.
"Ha!" exclaimed Chuppy, "Victory is mine!"
Ten minutes later, Chuppy turned into a chicken.
"Blast!" Chuppy shouted angrily, "I'm a chicken!"
Chuppy the chicken threw himself to the ground and cried like the color "moo". Then Chuppy turned back into a hamster.
"Well, that was rather strange," said Chuppy.
When Chuppy looked into a mirror that magically appeared, he realized that he was blue.
"AHHHHHHH!" Chuppy screamed.
Then a walrus fell out of the sky and landed on Chuppy.
"Sorry," said the walrus and he got up and went away.
When poor Chuppy got up, he was wearing a Mexican wrestler outfit.
"I don't know why, but I'm suddenly in the mood for tacos."
Chuppy happily skipped back into the house. Suddenly, wheels appeared on the house and Chuppy drove the house to a Taco Bell at the bottom of the ocean.