Chapter 3. The competition gets under way.

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Captain Archer was bored.

Trip and Malcolm were bored.

Hoshi and Travis were bored.

Even T'Pol was showing signs of distress.

In fact, anyone you asked would have said they were bored.

Except Dr. Phlox . He was fed up.

Fed up with dishing out remedies for boredom related illnesses.

The senior staff were all in the Captain's ready room, listening to his latest brilliant scheme. 'Brilliant' depending on who you were and how you looked at it. Well, it was not exactly the Captain's idea, but he thought it would be good for morale, so he was all for it.

Crewmen Kelly and Cutler had liked the staff photos very much, and thought that they all looked rather sexy. They had the idea of taking photos of all crewmembersand having a competition to find the sexiest person on board Enterprise.

This grabbed the attention of the senior staff in various ways. T'Pol declared that it was illogical and a waste of resources. Trip, Travis, Hoshi and Phlox all thought it a wonderful idea and Malcolm said "I've never heard anything so stupid in my entire life."

"Well, whatever you think of it, this is going ahead, and all crewmembers are taking part with absolutely no exceptions," Archer announced.

"Captain, I categorically refuse to pose for more pictures,"

"But that's the beauty of it, Malcolm, you don't have to. Kelly already has pictures of the senior staff."

Malcolm sighed, and folded his arms across his chest in resignation.

"So how's this going to work, Cap'n?" Trip asked.

"Kelly and Cutler will photograph all members of the crew, and the pictures will be displayed in the mess hall. There will be three rounds. Everyone will have one vote at each round. There are eighty-three people on board. The thirty with the most votes will go through to the second round. The ten with the most votes from the second round will go through to the third round. The winner and two runners up will be chosen from these ten."

"So this is not going to be over in a few days, then, Captain?" Malcolm asked.

"No, I intend to string this out as long as possible. There could be a week between rounds. We are travelling through a very uninteresting section of space and the crew are in need of a definite morale boost. Phlox has informed me of a number of personnel going to him with the kind of complaints that can only be attributed to boredom. This will give them something to hold their interest for two or three weeks. Any questions?"

"Yes, Cap'n." Trip spoke up. "You've made no mention of prizes. I s'pose there will be prizes?"

"There will be prizes, Trip." Archer responded. "A bottle of champagne for each of the three winners, and the overall winner will have a slap-up meal prepared in my private dining room to which he or she can invite three friends. Does that sound reasonable?"

"Gee. Yeah, Cap'n. Very reasonable"

"Good. Any other questions?"

T'Pol actually raised her hand. "How do I assess the - um - sexiness of a human, whether male or female?"

"Why don't you have a chat with Trip or Travis? I'm sure they'll be able to help you out there. OK people, back to your duties."

They all filed out of the small room in varying moods, from excitement (Hoshi) to incomprehension (T'Pol). Trip and Malcolm headed for the turbolift as they were both going back to their departments.

As the lift took them down they discussed the 'contest'.

"I'm inclined to agree with T'Pol." Malcolm sighed. "It's an utter waste of resources. They could have found some other way of boosting morale."

"Such as? I bet you don't have an answer. I think its a great idea."

"Maybe you like having people drool over your picture. I don't."

"The Cap'n and Travis' pictures were pretty good, too, you know. I shall be interested to see the rest of the photos. There are some real lookers among the female crewmembers. Take Crewman Williams. Have you seen her in a low cut dress? She wore one at a party a few months back. I reckon she'll take some beating. And what about Keely, huh?"

The lift had reached Trip's deck so their conversation was cut short as Malcolm was going one deck further.

"I'll see you later, Trip. Dinner tonight?"

"Sure thing, Mal." Trip called back as the lift doors closed taking Malcolm down to the armoury.

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Next Chapter: The results of the first round are up, and just how did Porthos make his choice?

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