White Pony: Here's the last one I have until I go on another sugar high rampage.
Disclaimer Dude: Which I hope never comes.
White Pony: Oh, it will come someday, alright.
Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own any references that may appear in this story.
Within the Depths of Randomness
Story Seven: Billy Goes Camping.
There was an armadillo named Billy who had a very stressful job with his rabid boss. One day, Billy decided that he needed time away from his job when his rabid boss, with bulging eyes and foam forming at the corners of his mouth, yelled at him after finding him under his desk rocking back and forth in a fetal position. Billy also needed time away from the evil lobster that lives in his laundry hamper. He especially needed time away from his insane wife. Or he would if he even had an insane wife or a wife that wasn't insane.
When Billy got home from work, he was mauled by his pet gerbil. When injured Billy limped over to the laundry hamper to drop his tie, he was hit by an atomic bomb that the evil lobster threw at him. Billy, somehow, survived the atomic blast. It could've been the "bomb proof" tie he was wearing.
Billy randomly decided to go camping, but there was one problem: He didn't have a tent. So he ordered one from the creepy zombie sock puppet that lives in the attic. Billy got the tent by dinnertime and it was made out of sun dried avocados. After Billy packed up everything, he jumped into his pool which teleported him to the wilderness. Then he tried to put up the avocado tent, but it exploded. Then it exploded again.
Billy gave up the tent and he decided to go out on a hike. Along the way, he was attacked by an albino grizzly bear. Before the albino bear could seriously injure Billy, she ran off to chase a shiny object because she as A.D.D.
Billy saw a lake nearby and he suddenly felt like going swimming. He jumped into the lake where he was ambushed by robotic trout. They chased Billy around the lake until they realized that they were made of metal and they rusted. Billy dragged himself out of the water and he crawled back to the campsite. He was surprised to see racoons raiding his food supplies. When Billy tried to chase the racoons away, they glared at him angrily and shot laser beams out of their eyes. Billy got out a remote control and a Robotic Richard Simmons emerged from the trees. The racoons ran away and never bothered Billy again. Then the tent exploded again.
"Squirble," said Billy and he was transported home, ready to tackle another day of work the next day.
When Billy went to work the next day, he was promoted and became the new boss because the old rabid boss was fried by racoons that could shoot laser beams out of their eyes right after he was crushed by Mr. Anvil.