Dislcaimer: I am no way affiliated with Degrassi, obviously.
Author's Note: Warning this story was made at 2AM on a 3-way call. So please understand this story was made to somewhat make fun of Degrassi and to just be amusing.
One day Jay, Emma, Craig, Manny, Darcy, and Spinner were driving around… No one knows why. Emma saw a tree and she said, "Oh! I dig that tree! It's giving me a boner!"
So Emma, being the nature freak, went up and made out with the tree. Manny flashed it, expecting the inanimate plant to pull out a camera. Darcy got on her knees and started praying to the tree. Jay came out when he saw Darcy underneath the tree's branches on her knees.
Jay said, "Hey, she's ready to be SPORKED!"
But then Craig, the party pooper, tried to drag them all back in the car. They start driving around again… No one knows why. All of a sudden they spotted a lake.
Spinner shouted excitedly, "Oh! I'd like my butt to take a dip in that pool!"
The gang figured they'd stay there for a while so the guys started a campfire with Jay's big piece of wood. For some reason, there was food in the trunk of Jay's car. They started to roast their random pieces of food. While everyone was roasting their food, there was complete silence… No one knows why. Suddenly out of the silence, Manny had the urge to shriek, "Oh! I love my wiener!"
Meanwhile the somewhat healthy food they found in the trunk made Spinner say, "I'm gonna let the lake taste my LONG, tasty sausage!"
Emma, being the tree hugger that she is, went to find some wild berries… if you know what I mean. Jay followed her to "go find some wild berries" also. They had a tree in between them because Jay's sausage wasn't big enough to please her, unlike the tree.
Back at the campfire, Spinner offered to Darcy, "Hey would you like to squeeze MY cheese?"
"No I'm too busy fantasizing about that hot stud Linus." Darcy replied.
Instead, Spinner just took out his can of cheese and sprayed it all over his hot dog and asked Darcy to lick it off. She finally gave in and claimed she would pretend it was Linus's hot dog.
Craig and Manny were sucking each other's faces and sharing a hotdog… if you know what I mean. But then Craig got distracted by something far off in the distance. He saw huge toilet in the middle of the lake! He gave his girlfriend Manny a piggyback, because we all know how she likes that, to the toilet. Manny doesn't see the toilet, yet only Craig does because you know, he's Crazy Craig!
"Craig? I forgot to tell you... I dig chicks… and guys." Manny admits. Craig doesn't care because he finds this hot.
"Do me!" Craig begs. "PLEASE!"
Anyway, Craig continues the piggyback ride to the "magical toilet." In the toilet, Craig finds golden shit! Amazing. He starts stuffing his face with the golden shit, throwing Manny aside drowning her to death.
Back in the forest, Jay stopped fucking the tree, but Emma continued. He liked to watch because he thought it was hot. He digs tree huggers.
He whispered softly to Emma, "I dig your marshmallows because they melt in my mouth." Oh and I forgot, he digs marshmallows too.
At the same time, Spinner starts choking on his cheese… if you know what I mean. Darcy thought the only way to save him was to pray to the spirit in the sky. Eventually, Spinner dies because of Darcy's idiotic attempt to save him.
Craig is still eating the shit, when suddenly out of the toilet hole, Ellie's face pops up!
Ellie said, "You could slit my throat and with one last gasping breath, I'd apologize for bleeding in your toilet."
Craig freaked out when saw blood in the toilet and thought she was having her period, so he flushed her down the toilet.
Jay, Emma, Craig, and Darcy are still alive… no one knows why.
In the forest, Emma and Jay are still chopping down the trees… if you know what I mean.
Birds brought Darcy up to the spirit in the sky.
Crazy Craig obviously forgot to take his meds. His mental disorder caused him to flush himself down the toilet. As Craig is flushing himself down the toilet, Craig's last words are, "SCREW MEDS! I'M ON DRUGS!"
Emma and Jay are still alive… no one knows why. Emma and Jay had a wonderful time chopping down the trees… you know what we mean.
Four weeks later... Emma finds out she's pregnant and it's the tree's baby. After finding out the tragic news, Jay kills himself. Unexpectedly, Rick comes out of the closet. He pulls out the gun and asks Emma, "Any last words?"
She nods and yells out, "I LOVE HEMP PLANTS!" Bang-bang, choo-choo train… She's dead!
Rick celebrates by singing, "TACOS TAQUITOS TOSTADAS BURRITOS!"
All these deadly events happened to them because the gang is actually from the South – not Canada!
by Michelle, Bree, and Emmy