Let's have a toast for me for this chapter, mainly because I wrote more than half of it. But raise your glasses to Sarah and Megan too, it was their idea. Is anyone drunk yet from all these toasts? Haha just kidding.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
In the last episode, we left Harry and Voldemor to kill the announcer for saying their names wrong. Fortunately the announcer was saved by none other than Albus Dumbledore, who decided if his castle was going to stay intact, the announcer should too.
Harry: Welcome to the third episode of Behind the Scenes! Today is a very special day for all of us. Hogwarts is going to have a TALENT SHOW! Yay! The suspense to see our contestants and their acts is killing me, and the best one is of course, ME!
It's all about me
And not about you
Cuz I'm more important
Than all of you!
No wonder Cedric died
He was protecting me
Cuz I'm more important
As you all can see!
(that was Harry's act, he was singin to the tune of Britney Spears)
Thank you! Thank you! I'll be in school all week!
(cricket cricket)
So anyway, let's turned the limelight to our next contestant, which unfortunately isn't me, but fortunately he's my best friend! Ron Cheezley!
Ron: Weasley, you bloody idiot!
Harry: Anyway, lets give it up for Won Reezley!
Ron: Bloody hell, Harry, my name is Ron Weasley!
Harry: Ron will be performing Mary had a Little Lamb: Ron Edition. Hit it, DJ!
(goes to the tune of Mary had a Little Lamb)
Ron: I fear Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort.
I fear Voldemort, cuz he's really creepy.
He looks like he's about to die, about to die, about to die.
He looks like he's about to die because he's really old.
Voldemort has an ugly face, ugly face, ugly face, Voldemort has an ugly face, Yeah I'm talking to you!
Got a problem with that punk?
Harry: Very good, Roonil, but not as talented as I, the great Harry! Next we have Voldemort, my old pal, reciting poetry from the Dark Lord's soul.
Voldemort: Roses are red,
Violets are bluye,
Ron Weasley sucks
And so do all of you!
Harry: Well, that was boring. Our next contestant is Dumbledore! Give it up for the rappin headmaster!
Dumbledore: Wsup yall? D-Dawg in the house! My name is Dumbledore, let me hear you SCREAM.
(cricket cricket)
Now, to get some serious style rappin! (DJ Hits the song)
YO, Like totally! For sure! I just got a manicure!
Boom chicka boom chicka boom chicka boom!
The sun, I swear, it's messing up my gorgeous hair!
Boom chicka boom chicka boom chicka boom!
Raw, Raw, Fight fight gee, I hope I look alright!
Boom chicka boom chicka boom chicka boom!
My make up, its smearing, I just think I lost my earring!
Boom chicka boom chicka boom chicka boom!
26, 24, I don't know the stupid score!
Boom chickaboom chicka boom chicka boom!
Boom chicka boom chicka boom chicka boom!
Boom chicka boom chicka boom chicka boom!
WORD!
Harry: Okay, right. Anyways, give it up for the mad dog himself, literally, Malfoy!
(Malfoy walks on stage in a cheer leading outfit, green and silver of course)
Malfoy: Yo, my name is Malfoy! I live on Cherry Lane, its very pretty there, just don't mess up my pretty hair!
YES, YES YES!
My girlfriend, she dumped me, it really really bugs me!
YES, YES, YES!
Harry, he's scary, I wish my name was Larry!
YES, YES, YES!
Harry: Um...thanks Malfoy, or should I say Larry? And he thinks I'M scary! Now, back to the showing of the talents, yada yada yada, now give it to Mrs. Norris and her poetry!
Mrs. Norris: Cough, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, Word!
Filch is the only one standing up and clapping: Yeah! Yeah! WHOOHOOO! Yeah! That cat has such a way with words!
Harry: Ahem?
Filch: Sorry, got carried away. (sits down)
Harry: And our final contestant of the night...Hermeanie Badger!
Hermione: That's Hermione Granger!
Harry: Whatever, Give it up for Mione Ranger!
Hermione: It's Hermeanie Badger! I mean, Hermione Granger! Ready to jazz up this non-talent show with some real talent yall? Then let me bring you some righteous break dancing yo!
(Hermione starts break dancing "righteously")
Harry: Wow folks! I've seen pretty bad dancers, but that has to be the WORST dance I have ever seen!
(Hermione slaps Harry)
Hermione: You got dissed, punk!
Harry: Give it up for Heromi Nagger!
Hermione: That's Mione Ranger! I mean, Hermeanie Badger! I mean, OH FORGET IT!
Harry: Isn't she wonderful, folks? Give it up for Mihernie Ragner!
Hermione: Shut up already!
Harry: Now for the moment you all been waiting for, ladies and germs, the award ceremony! And the winner is...(Harry opens envelope) ME! Time for my encore!
Harry's encore
Cedric was on fire.
He had desires, but who was his killer.
I will not tell you because I don't want to.
I will not tell you.
Don't ask me why cause I ain't saying it was Sirius Black, cause its not.
Ain't sayin its Filch's cat, cuz its not
Aint sayin its the basilisk cuz its not
But I'll never ever really say who killed Cedric that day.
Not sayin it was Cheezley (WEASLEY!)
Not sayin it was Badger (GRANGER!)
Not sayin it was Dumb Door (Do you want detention young man?)
Not sayin it was Voldedork (VOLDEMORT!)
But I'll never ever really say that Voldemort killed Cedric that day!
OOPS...
(goes to the tune of the Backstreet Boys)
Crowd: BOO! BOO! (throws a variety of fruits and food at Harry)
Harry: Ow! Ahh! Ouch! Hey! Who threw that tomato at my eye? Ahh! My eye! MY EYE! IT BURNS!
A/N: Thank you all for takin the time to read this story. Sarah Megan and I really appreciate it. Look forward to a sequel.