Chapter Three: Plans, Alliances, and Some Very Clichéd Angst

"Are you sure? Last time was a little painful."

"I'm sorry about that," said Miroku, fumbling with Sango's eyebrow ring. "But maybe if I just pull like this…"

"Ah!"

The monk quickly withdrew his hand. "Sorry."

Sango sighed. "I guess we'll just have to leave them there. So what now?"

Miroku sat down on the floor and closed his eyes. "We can wait here for something to happen, or we can explore this place. We are unsure of the dangers this time holds, but…"

But the demon slayer was no longer listening. Instead, she was staring out of the door. She quickly tugged on Miroku's arm.

"Yes?"

"Look at that!" she frantically whispered.

Miroku glanced out and his eyes widened. Walking past the store was a group of people dressed in the same odd fashion as Sango and himself. That, however, was not what had surprised him. The surprising component was that they all bore a striking resemblance to Inu-yasha and his group.

"That one looks like me!" whispered Sango, indicating a tough-looking girl chatting with Kagome. "And there's you!"

"Those are obviously not us," replied Miroku, shaking his head in wonderment. "And Inu-yasha and Kagome were not themselves earlier… Sango, it all makes sense! This place somehow clones us and the clones act strangely."

"So…" mused Sango, "the real Kagome and Inu-yasha are out there somewhere!"

"Hi!" broke in a cheery voice, startling the two. Sango quickly turned to the voice's owner, a young and almost impossibly beautiful girl. Her long dark hair fell to her knees, and her vivid blue eyes sparkled as she laughed. A long black dress, which seemed to be made out of gauze, revealed that she was somehow both impossibly thin and impossibly busty. Sango would have rolled her eyes had she not been too busy elbowing Miroku, who was drooling.

Before the slayer could think of what to say, the girl started talking again. "My name is Sabriel Blackfire! I just moved here because my whole family was killed mysteriously! Isn't that mysterious and interesting? Oh, but you can't tell anyone, because it's supposed to be the deep dark secret that I get to angst about! Mysteriously! And I'm a punk and I'm going to go to Shikon High! And I've already met another really hot skater punk and he knows all the deep pain hidden in my heart because nobody understands how different and mysterious I am!"

"Oh… how nice for you," responded Sango. The girl seemed to have a permanent exclamation point screwed to her sentences, but it was probably best to humor her. Besides, she seemed to know what she was doing, which was more than Sango or Miroku did at the moment.

"Yeah, his name is Sesshoumaru Taiyoukai, and he's the singer in a punk rock band, and he's going to Shikon High, too! I'm defiantly in love with him!"

"We aren't trying to stop you," Sango said, confused, but Sabriel had already picked up her monologue.

"Are you going to Shikon High? Oh, I hope so! Because I didn't have any friends at all for the better part of my childhood, except that one girl who pretended to be my friend so she could stab me in the back even though I never did anything to her—WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, YOU JACKASS!"

Snapping out of the doze she had fallen into, Sango couldn't decide whether to laugh or leap to Miroku's aid. Sabriel was beating him over the head with a mannequin while he futilely attempted to explain himself. Finally, the monk fell to the floor and stayed down. The girl turned back to the bemused Sango, a bright smile on her face.

"You know, I could really do with some of those rude-saying key chains!"

"Kagura! Put your seat belt back on! No! NO! Don't lean out the window like that, you could take your head off! What if a police officer sees us! Are you trying to get killed! Oh my God, what am I doing…"

Hunched over in the driver's seat, Kagome was sweating bullets and trying to concentrate while yelling at her companion. The fact that she seemed to be able to drive perfectly well in this universe was not very comforting. In the seat behind her, Kikyou was busy conducting some sort of prayer ritual. Kagura was the only one enjoying herself.

"Woo hoo! So how long is it before these get invented?"

"GET BACK IN HERE!"

After a few minutes, Kagura quieted down and dozed off. Kagome and Kikyou, both thankful for the peace, elected not to wake her. The following half hour was spent in silence.

Finally: "Kagome?"

"Yes?" Kagome asked, a bit more sharply than she'd intended. The girl never once took her eyes from the road in front of her.

Kikyou, on the other hand, had spent the ride staring out the window, and was somewhat disquieted by what she had seen. "May I draw your attention to the scenery?"

"What about it—ahh! Oh my God! It's all blurry and faded and stuff!"

"Indeed. I have noticed that the surrounding area has grown progressively fainter as we have distanced ourselves from Shikon High. Perhaps it is an effect of this strange universe?"

"What, the universe is only distinct at the high school? How does that make any sense?" She paused. "Wait, why am I even asking that?"

Next to her, Kagura groggily opened her eyes. "Asking what? What are you shrieking about now?" She turned over and jumped in her seat. "What happened to the scenery?"

"It slowly faded," responded Kikyou dispassionately.

"So what do we do now!" snapped Kagome, and then covered her mouth. She turned to speak to Kikyou. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to yell like that."

"Right," said Kikyou.

"It's just that this isn't a great situation and I know I sounded a little mean," continued Kagome.

"Right!" yelled Kagura.

Kagome shot her an annoyed glance. "Look, I apologized! You don't need to yell."

The wind sorceress grabbed the steering wheel and jerked it sharply to the right, dodging out of the way of a truck just in time. Kagome stared at the truck, then at the steering wheel, and then at the road, white as a sheet.

"Well… Um, I'll just concentrate on driving, and you can, um, figure out what to do about… um, everything."

Kagura leaned over the seat to stare at Kikyou, who seemed to have resigned herself to the situation. "What do you suggest? We head back, or keep going?"

"There appears to be a spot of color in that direction," responded Kikyou, indicating a building farther along the road. "Perhaps we should search there."

Kagura craned her neck to see. "Yeah. Kagome, take us there."

"Sure thing," said the schoolgirl, eyes practically glued to the road.

"But you're not even looking."

"I am never taking my eyes off the road again."

Kagura leaned back in her seat. "You know, maybe I should drive…"

"NO!" screamed Kikyou and Kagome at the same time. To her surprise, Kagome realized that it was the first time they had ever agreed about anything.

Slowly, hips swaying for maximum effect, Kikyou walked over to Kagome's side of the Punk Table and leaned against it, practically in Inu-yasha's lap. Her midriff-baring pink tank top was cut far too low for comfort, giving the half-demon a full view of her cleavage. He turned bright red; Kagome growled ferally.

"Must look away. Can't look away. Must look away," mumbled Inu-yasha to himself. Kikyou smirked.

"See anything you like?"

Kagome stood, shoving Kikyou off of Inu-yasha, whose nose had begun bleeding. "Are you here for a reason, or do you just want to let the new kid know what a whore you are as soon as possible?"

Kikyou sighed. "Actually, I'd heard that the new boy was kind of cute, so I wanted to see if I could, ahem, 'show him around.'" She winked suggestively at Inu-yasha. "But you know, Kagome, jealously really isn't becoming on you. Of course, neither is that outfit." Her nose wrinkled with disgust. "Do you pick your wardrobe entirely out of the Fashion Don'ts section or something?"

(A/N: sorry ppl who like kinky ho, I mean kikyo, but I really hate her so their is kikyo bashing in this fic! why doesnt she just leave inu and kag alone!)

"Don't call her that! Where the hell are you! I'll kill you!" Inu-yasha leapt to his feet, fists at the ready. The gazes of the entire Punk Table and a few onlookers turned to him.

"Like, who exactly are you talking about?" asked Kikyou, leaning forward across the table and shoving her cleavage into Kouga's face. Inu-yasha paused, perplexed.

"Um… Can't you guys hear it?"

Kikyou laughed. "Cute but stupid, just how I like them. Kagome, we all know you're too ugly and bitchy to find a boyfriend, so I think I'll take this one, m'kay?"

With a cry of fury, Kagome leapt at Kikyou, various chains jingling. Before Inu-yasha could register the situation, the pair was rolling around on the linoleum floor, screeching various expletives at each other. Kagome, who was obviously the stronger of the two (which didn't make much sense to Inu-yasha, who'd seen Kikyou fight before), had the upper hand, but this Kikyou fought like a cat and was less encumbered by clothing.

"That's… that's not my Kagome…" mumbled Kouga, who seemed to be in shock.

"Shut up, you stupid wolf!" yelled Inu-yasha as he finally came to his senses and pried the two apart. A group of scantily clad girls, somewhat reluctant to enter Punk Table territory, rushed to the bleeding Kikyou's aid. It took all of Inu-yasha's strength to restrain Kagome.

"Let go of me! What the hell did that bitch think she was doing! Let me at her!"

"Please!" said Inu-yasha, trying to fend off blows from the still-infuriated Kagome. "Let's just…" he stumbled across the unfamiliar words, "talk about this…"

"Okay," an older voice sighed as the crowds parted. "What's going on here?" Kaede, dressed in business suit and frowning severely, appeared next to the table. A hush fell over the lunchroom. Rubbing her temples, the principal took in the scene.

"Kagome, not again."

One of the generic Kikyou-minions spoke up. "We saw the whole thing! Kiki wasn't doing anything and that, that, that punk just attacked her!" The minions nodded in agreement; the punks began to yell and scream. Kagome cast a glare at the lot of them and silence reigned once again.

"That bitch got what she deserved."

"Kagome, do you want to be expelled from yet another school?"

"Bite me."

Kaede sighed. "Come with me, young lady, and we'll call your mother."

Kagome flipped a lock of wavy, multi-colored hair out of her face and glared. "Like that drunken bitch cares about anything."

"What?" burst out Inu-yasha. "But I know your mother, she's—"

"Shut up!" screamed Kagome, lashing out and knocking him backwards. "You don't know anything about me! None of you understand the pain I go through every single day!" She ran out of the lunchroom, the principal shaking her head.

Chatter gradually picked up again as the gawkers realized that the show was over. Sango, whose dark hair was streaked with red and face was dotted with metal, explained to the shocked Kouga that Kagome "just did this" sometimes. And Kikyou, pink tank and denim miniskirt torn and bloodstained, sauntered over to Inu-yasha.

"So Inu-baby, how 'bout I give you a tour of the school? Inu-baby? Inu-baby! Like, somebody get cold water or whatever! Inu-baby, can you hear me!"

"Okay," said Kagome, sighing with relief and seriously considering kissing the asphalt of the parking lot. "We're here."

The three women stared of at the gray edifice of stone. The building was large and swarming with people, but more importantly, it was vividly clear, in sharp contrast with the dull and blurry surrounding area. The reluctant companions walked inside.

Once through the doors, Kagome's face burst into a smile. "I know what this is! It's a mall!" She turned slowly around, examining the stores. "It's too bad I can't read English. But I'm sure we can figure out what most of these stores are." Her face fell. "Wait… Where are we going to get the money to buy anything?"

Kikyou, who was feeling rather ill-tempered since she'd been made to leave her bow in the car, spoke up stiffly. "I believe an explanation of this 'mall' is in order."

"Oh, it's like a really big market."

"Hey," Kagura said, pointing at a store called Abercrombie and Fitch. "I think I see some of our substitutes."

Indeed, a false Kagome and Sango seemed to be arguing in front of the store with a false Inu-yasha, Miroku, and… Sesshoumaru?

"Oh, it's a pair of punkettes," The false Inu-yasha was saying, practically radiating smarm. "What are you doing here? Besides admiring my sexiness, of course."

The real Kagome noticed that he was wearing a pair of khakis and red button-up shirt along with a red bandana before mentally shaking herself. Why do I keep doing that? Focus on the conversation, Kagome!

The false Kagome, who was wearing a tight red shirt and black shorts with chains (all of which the real Kagome tried desperately to ignore), growled. "Like I want anything to do with you stuck-up, jackass (censored) preppy (censored). In fact, you're so ugly I'm surprised you didn't die when you saw your face in the store window."

The false Inu-yasha reddened with anger. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT! NO GIRL EVER REJECTS INU-YASHA, YOU WENCH!"

"Don't call me wench, (censored)!"

"I'M THE HOTTEST AND MOST POPULAR GUY IN SCHOOL!"

The false Kagome seemed unfazed. "I'm Kagome Higurashi, but you'd better call me Shadow if you don't want to die."

"W-what?" the Inu-yasha look-alike stuttered. "You mean like the really rich Higurashis, the ones who are worth more than Bill Gates and the President smushed together, who own Ubermegarich Incorporated, and have ten mansions scattered around the United States?"

"Yeah."

Sesshoumaru, who'd been sulking over the "hottest" comment, spoke up. "And wasn't the father murdered mysteriously a couple years ago, leaving the daughter traumatized, so now she dresses all in black, and never reveals her emotions, and rejects the slutty and frivolous lifestyle every other rich girl ever has no choice but to lead?"

"Uh-huh."

Miroku gasped in awe. "And isn't there rumored to be telekinetic shadow demon blood in the family, which is especially strong in the daughter, so now she can defeat her enemies using only mind powers, and transform into a shadow demon capable of leveling a city? But isn't she a martial arts master anyway?" He passed out from lack of air.

"It's true."

The real Kagome turned back to Kagura and Kikyou. "Did you hear that?"

Kikyou nodded. "Yes. Whoever created this universe obviously suffers from some form of mental illness."

"Yeah, but that's not what I meant. Did you hear what she said about being rich?"

Kagura smirked. "I get it. We'll ambush the girl and take her money."

Kagome's face fell. "No! If she's rich, then maybe I am!" The girl began rifling through the many pockets on her ridiculously oversized pants, and finally pulled out a wad of dollars. "I don't know much about American money, but this has got to buy us some new clothing. I say we split up, search the mall for anyone else Naraku threw into this universe, and meet back here as soon as possible."

"Sure," said Kagura, snatching most of the bills and heading off. Kikyou nodded, took half of what remained, and set off in the opposite direction. Kagome sighed, counted out the meager leftovers, and started searching for a shop that sold the bordering-on-obscene skirts she usually wore.

"Hey, wolf."

"What do you want, mutt?"

"What are you gonna do now?"

"You want my help?"

"No! I… I already know what I'm gonna do, I just wanna know what you're gonna do."

Kouga stopped and scratched his head. The hallway was deserted; all the other students had gone off to class after lunch, leaving the two to aimlessly wander the halls. So far, they had refrained from punching each other, but the effort was beginning to wear on them.

"Weren't we supposed to go to that 'Fizz Ed' thing?"

Inu-yasha snorted. "Screw that."

Kouga leaned against the wall, unfamiliar neurons firing in his brain as he tried to think through the problem. "Maybe we should go look for Kagome."

Inu-yasha slouched against the opposite wall. "I don't think that was really Kagome. She doesn't remember about fighting demons or anything. And she doesn't act like Kagome."

"So… maybe the real Kagome's here somewhere?"

They both jumped as the hallway was suddenly filled with noise. Doors burst open and black-wearing students flooded the hallways, straps and chains and assorted accessories flying out behind them. Kagome's voice rose above the general racket, which by now included the yelling of teachers and other students.

"Everyone! To your lockers! Let's grab our skateboards and get outta here!"

In the eye of the hurricane, Kouga and Inu-yasha stood stunned.

"Skateboard?"

"My locker won't open."

Kagome rolled over to them and sighed. Neither male could help but notice that her board was black, with red stripes and silver designs. A strand of hair (which by now was also sporting silver streaks) fell out of her messy bun to perfectly frame her face.

"Well, prep-boy here probably can't even ride a skateboard—"

"Skateboard?"

"Shut it. And I don't feel like busting in another locker today, so you two can just run behind us until we get to the motorcycles."

"Motorcycles?"

"You can ride with 'Roku in his car, then."

"Roku?"

"Just shut it."

Kagura blinked. She rubbed her eyes and blinked again. "Well," the sorceress said to no one in particular, "I think I've found their god."

The store she was standing in front of was dark, with loud music blaring from inside, and clothing similar to the false Kagome's. If Kagura could have read the sign, she would have seen that it was called "Hot Topic." She could not, however, and curiously walked inside.

Almost immediately a worn down voice called out, "Kagura?"

The wind sorceress turned to see Sango gazing hopefully at her. "Oh, the demon slayer."

Sango's expression was weary, as though she'd gone through this process all day. Her dark hair was streaked with pink and bound in a high ponytail, and various metal objects seemed to be lodged in her face. She was wearing ripped fishnets, combat boots, a black skirt with chains, a black shirt with some strange saying on it, and… Kagura recoiled in horror. Covering the slayer's arms were at least ten black armbands, all of which bore different sayings.

"Take those damn bands off or else we'll be here all day," she finally managed to say.

Sango sighed with relief. "So you're the real Kagura."

"Yeah. Hey," Kagura said curiously, examining the objects imbedded in Sango's skin. "Don't those hurt?"

"No," Sango replied, fingering the eyebrow ring. "They're ugly, though." She cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled to the back of the store. "Hey, Miroku! Kagura's here!"

"The real one?"

"Yeah!"

As Kagura watched, Miroku emerged from the store's dark recesses, the same weary expression on his face. He, too, was dressed in strange black attire. Kagura wondered why it seemed to be so popular in this time.

"Please tell me you've found Inu-yasha."

Kagura rolled her eyes. "No, I don't have the idiot. But I've got the stupid girl and the creepy priestess."

"Kagome and Kikyou," Sango translated, sighing. "Have they killed each other?"

"Not yet. I suppose you two should join us; safety in numbers or whatever. What's that thing on the monk's shirt?"

Miroku looked down. "That? Cheerful Rabbit or something, I'm not quite sure."

"Well, whatever. Come on." And then, because some things cannot be changed, however many time-space distortions they are subject to, the wind sorceress turned, punched, and yelled, "Asshole!"

Kagome browsed the racks of clothing, searching for a skirt short enough, when she began to hear strange sounds. After grabbing a shirt to try on, she pushed through the outfits and stopped short.

"And I thought nothing else could surprise me," she muttered weakly, leaning against a pillar for support. Although she was rather shocked to see two people making out on the floor of a clothing store, the fact that one of the two people looked remarkably like Sesshoumaru was what almost gave her a heart attack.

At Kagome's gasp and weak statement, the two looked up. One of them was, in fact, Sesshoumaru; the other was a strange-looking girl Kagome didn't recognize. The girl smiled and pushed her thick and miraculously un-mussed black hair from her face.

"Hi! My name is Sabriel! Sesshoumaru here rescued me from an abusive foster family and now he's helping to heal my emotional wounds!" she babbled brightly.

"Oh, how lovely for you," replied Kagome, giggling nervously. "That's just-ahh!" She screamed and ran in the opposite direction, skimpy outfits flying out behind her like colored rain. Sabriel and Sesshoumaru looked at one another, shrugged, and went back to what they had been doing.

"So, how does it feel so far to be a punk, Kouga?" asked Kagome, leaning against her red and black motorcycle. She was now wearing a fishnet shirt over a black tube top, a short and gauzy black skirt, fishnet stockings, and black stiletto-heeled boots. Realizing that he had been asked a question, Kouga tore his eyes from her outfit only to get lost in her hair and makeup.

The wolf wasn't quite sure whether she was beautiful or scary: her lips were purple and her eyes were lined in thick black. More wavy strands had escaped from their messy bun, framing her face; Kouga was pretty sure there was now some purple among the streaks.

"Um, Kagome, when did your eyes turn, um, sapphire blue like the ocean?" Where had he gotten that one? Kagome glared skeptically at him.

"They've always been this color. Now," her tone became icier, "I asked you a question."

"Oh. Uh… I feel a lot heavier."

The air was silent save for the jingle of chains.

"And... cooler. I feel cooler. And, um, rebellious."

The surrounding group nodded sagely. They, too, knew the personality-altering effects of chains and black clothing. As they turned and headed into the club, Inu-yasha drew closer to Kouga. He stopped, however, a few feet away, just close enough to be walking with the wolf, but far enough away to show his complete and utter disdain for him. The effect was lost on Kouga, who couldn't seem to tear his eyes from the girl.

"Hey! Moron!" Inu-yasha whispered loudly, finally causing Kouga to turn around.

"What do you want, idiot?"

"We have to do something!"

Kouga rolled his eyes. "Really? 'Cause I was planning to spend my entire life following psycho-Kagome around high school while wearing circus tents on my legs!"

"Shut up," Inu-yasha growled. "Quit complaining; mine are baggier than yours."

"Are your eyes as useless as your brain is? Look at these!"

Inu-yasha, however, was glancing around at the press of bodies in the club. All were dancing, dressed in various articles of black clothing, and completely unfamiliar. "Just great, you stupid wolf! Look what you did! You lost Kagome!"

"Don't blame this on me—"

"Hey!" Both males looked up guiltily at the speaker, an angry-looking Kagome who had materialized out of nowhere. "Remember what I said I'd do if you pissed me off?" The two gulped and nodded. "Well, you're pissing me off! Come on!"

She whirled around and headed back into the crowd, Inu-yasha and Kouga following. If either noticed the pink streaks slowly worming their way through her messy bun, they made no comment.