The characters after super smash bros. MELEE!

DR. Mario:

Went to get a part on the hit TV show, ER. They declined him. Then he cried. Like a baby.

Mario:

Went to the pet shop and got a pet turtle… then he woke up one night and thought he saw bowser with no spikes and accidentally killed the turtle. Then he cried. Like a baby.

Luigi:

Shaved his mustachio and went to work in the Italian mafia. Later got shot. Then Mario cried. Like a baby

Peach:

Went and worked in a strip club. Got rich and got a bigger castle.

Bowser:

He gave up on the ruling the mushroom kingdom thing and became a hobo that drank out of paper bags with liquor in them.

Yoshi:

Became gay and used his tongue in disgusting ways.

Donkey Kong:

Enrolled himself in Mr. Universe. He lost then slit his wrists and died.

C. Falcon:

Crashed his car and died.

Falco:

His feathers started on fire while doing that one fire move and became bald and stayed in a dark corner of his all his life. Then died. Then Mario cried. Like a baby.

Fox:

Murdered slippy toad and was went to prison, was then raped to death.

Ness:

One of his psychic spells hit him in the head and he died.

Ice climbers:

The pink one died and the other one went on maury. He told the climber to get on with his goddamn life.

Kirby:

Tried to swallow king dededededededededededededede…. And choked and died.

Samus:

On one of her adventures she got massive dehydration and died in her suit.

Zelda:

Became gothic and wore chains from her dress and was shot and killed by luigis gang.

Y. link:

Got sick of Mido so he killed him and went to kokiri jail.

Link:

Got sick and tired of saving hyrule so he destroyed it himself.

Ganondorf:

Since there was no hyrule to take over, he went to termina and took that over.

Pichu:

Tried to do one of the most powerful attacks in the world, but killed itself.

Pikachu:

Went and joined squirtles gang to kill their rival mafia "scarluigi's mafia"

Jigglypuff:

Got rich and famous and was assassinated by Britney Spears

MewTwo:

Went to Dr. Phil and asked him why he was on this earth. He said "cause you're a fucking slave!"

Marth:

Dyed his hair black and went gothic like Zelda and they went out. Then Zelda dyed and marth killed himself.

Roy:

Poked a cup of water and it attacked him.