Chapter 37
Bond
Vader stared blankly out of the cockpit of his Jedi Starfighter. He, along with Jedi Master Ki-Adi-Mundi and his weirdo Padawan A'Sharad Hett, was currently running a patrol through the Varonat system. And his mind couldn't be further from what he was supposed to be doing.
Normally piloting excited him, even the boring patrol flight like this one. But that definition of 'normal' had been defined before Jabiim. Before–
It no longer applied. Nothing really got him excited anymore. Not a lightsaber duel with a challenging opponent. Not a complex space battle that called upon his incredible piloting skills. Not even hug and kiss from Padmé could break through his lingering melancholy.
He was trapped deep in a smothering numbness. He had ceased to work at his best. And he simply couldn't bring himself to care.
Was this how you felt after Qui-Gon died, Master? He wondered, feeling his chest constrict slightly. Did you feel so numb? So lost? So empty?
Of course there was no answer. There never would an answer. Never, ever.
Master Mundi led Vader and his Padawan into a high orbit over Varonat II, the first of two inhabited worlds in the system. There they would wait for a few hours for any pirate activity before landing. While they waited, they would meditate. Just like they had every day for the whole week they'd been here.
Closing his eyes, Vader drifted into a meditative trance. As he did, the numbing aching sensation of his chest sharpened. It made it harder to meditate, but he meditated all the same. He deserved the pain.
Intellectually he knew there was nothing he could've done. He had been too far away. Even if he had taken off at the first sensation of warning, he wouldn't have made any difference. But while the logical part of his mind accepted this, the rest of him did not.
As his meditation deepened, he slipped into a state where he could clearly see Force signatures. Everything in the universe had a presence in the Force. Living things, of course, shone much brighter than non-living things like machines, and Force-sensitive things shone brighter still.
Nearby he could 'see' Master Mundi and A'Sharad. Both their signatures, or auras, were calm and controlled. They shone with serenity and peace. And if he peered close enough, he could see the thin chord of light that connected them, the bond that all Jedi Masters shared with their Padawans.
He'd never had that. If, in the beginning, he'd been required to form one with his Master, he would've refused. Dooku had amused himself by barraging into Vader's mind unannounced and uninvited and causing him pain, paralyzing him, or projecting horrifying images. After two years of that, the very thought of touching minds with another Force-sensitive scared him near the point of physical illness. And a training bond was like a touching of minds on an almost permanent basis. He never would've stood for that.
Now, he found himself regretting that. He would never know what it felt like to have that kind of connection to anyone. He would never know because he had no desire to bond with anyone else.
Vader hovered in deep meditation for a while before slowly rising out of it. As he did, the ache slowly, very slowly, receded. And then…and then something…strange happened.
The hurt went away. The numb, pulsing ache inside simply stopped. The sense of loss vanished. And it was replaced with a rush of deep relief that…that mainly wasn't his.
That wasn't possible. And it was really weird. Feeling more curious than he'd been in a long time, he examined this odd phenomenon.
He narrowed his focus to this feeling, this mysterious rush of foreign relief. He sent a little mental feeler right into the middle of it and poked around. And what he found knocked him back in his seat.
When he went to places that his Master had frequented, their apartment especially, he felt echoes of the older man's presence. A ghostly whisper of the Jedi Master's existence that lingered like the smell of his favorite tea. But what he felt buried in the relief was definitely more than an echo. And it came with a word.
Snapping his eyes open, Vader entered the word into the NavComp and got a hit. Locking the resulting coordinates into the computer, he broke orbit without a word. He only stayed in-system long enough to pick up the booster ring he'd need for hyperspace travel.
As he made the jump he supposed Master Mundi and A'Sharad were wondering what the kriff he was doing. They were probably even yelling at him. But he couldn't hear them. And then he was gone.
Obi-Wan was so relieved. Finally the mask had come off! Now he could feel the Force again. And it felt so good.
Getting it off, though, had been something of a trial. After landing on an uninhabited portion of Riflor, Alpha had dragged him out of the stolen fighter's cockpit and set himself to the problem of the mask. There was no real keyhole, so there was no way to pick any lock. And there were no visible hinges that he could attack either. So in the end, Alpha had had to take the stolen lightsaber to the thing.
That had been a rather nerve-wracking experience. Alpha had never really handled a lightsaber before, and not being a Jedi meant that he didn't have the Force to help guide the blade and keep it safely away from Obi-Wan's vital parts. So the clone had taken over a half an hour, making careful little slices in the metal, until the blasted thing had finally deactivated and fallen away.
Now the weary Jedi Master slumped against a tree trunk and relaxed. He'd just had a nice long drink of water, the best drink he'd had in just over a month. And though he still felt terrible, it wasn't as bad as before.
Alpha had gone off to do some exploring and perhaps find some small town. If he did find a town he would try and get some supplies and perhaps a message home. But if he didn't, he'd see what kind wild edibles he could scare up for them.
Obi-Wan's eyes drifted closed as he waited and rested. He probably shouldn't be so relaxed. Ventress had certainly discovered their escape by now and was most likely searching for them. To avoid recapture, they really shouldn't have landed here and instead gone on to Coruscant or some other Republic base.
But he'd desperately needed to get that mask off. And if they had gone straight to Republic forces, they might well have been shot down. They were flying a stolen enemy fighter after all. So this stop had allowed him to get the mask off and rest while he and Alpha contemplated how they could safely rejoin the Republic without being blown out of the sky.
His eyes were closed now, and his mind floated off into a light meditative trance. The warm shining Light flowed all around him, through him. Oh how he had missed this! He felt as though he'd been trapped in a nightmare for an eternity and was sudden now in heaven. It brought a faint smile to his face.
Then the smile faded as worries that had piled up in the back of his brain tumbled to the forefront of his mind. What had happened during his imprisonment? How was the war going? Who was winning? And Vader, what had happened to him? How was he holding up on his own? Had he…Fallen?
Now frowning, Obi-Wan began to actively meditate. His awareness slowly spiraled outwards from his seated position at the base of the tree on Riflor. He tried to focus on reaching Coruscant where Vader surely was if he had remained with the Jedi, but his progress was slow and unsteady. He simply lacked the strength to hold his focus steady and strong enough. He kept at it though, it was important that he at least make contact so those at the Temple knew he was still alive.
"Master?" A hoarse whisper. A presence at his side, hands on his shoulders, gently shaking. "Master? W-wake up."
Slowly, very slowly, Obi-Wan pulled out of his trance, never making it as far as he'd wanted. He opened his eyes to stare into another pair of eyes. They weren't Alpha's dark, nearly black eyes. They were a clear, pure blue, and glassy with unshed tears.
"Master?" Vader whispered, his voice thick and raw.
"Hello there," Obi-Wan blinked, "when did you get here?"
"A few minutes ago." Vader swallowed. "Wh-when did you get h-here?"
"A few hours ago, I think." Obi-Wan replied softly. "How are you?"
"I…I…I…" Vader choked, and then he abandoned all attempts at normal conversation and simply clutched onto Obi-Wan and sobbed.
Obi-Wan flinched a bit as Vader's tight grip aggravated his injuries, but he didn't make any complaint. Instead he weakly patted the young man's back, doing his best to try and comfort him. He couldn't really tell if that was helping much, Vader just kept weeping, projecting almost overwhelming waves of anguish intermixed with relief. Then finally…
"Next time you decide to die on me, actually die damnit!" Vader gasped between sobs. "I'm sick of crying over this!"
"I'll try and keep that in mind next time." Obi-Wan chuckled dryly.
"You better," Vader sniffed, his shuddering sobs beginning to subside. "I hate crying…"
"I know," Obi-Wan sighed, "I know. Now how did you find me?"
"I…I'm not s-sure." Vader mumbled into Obi-Wan's shoulder. "I…felt you and…and I c-came to find you… Missed you. It-it hurt."
Obi-Wan was puzzled and slightly troubled by that response. It made no sense. Vader should not have been able to locate him so quickly. He shouldn't have been able to sense him so clearly over so vast a distance. And while missing him was normal, when Vader mentioned pain Obi-Wan sensed it was more complex than that, and that shouldn't have happened. But he said nothing about it, deciding to worry about more when he had the energy to do so.
"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan apologized softly. "I didn't mean to disappear and upset you."
"I know," Vader sighed, reluctantly leaning away from Obi-Wan to rub the sleeve of his cloak over his damp eyes. "I-I feel better now, though."
"Good," Obi-Wan smiled weakly. "Glad to hear that."
Vader rocked back on his heels and looked Obi-Wan over. His expression slowly darkened as it seemed he didn't like what he was seeing. "You look like hell Obi-Wan," he said finally. "What happened to you? Who did this to you?"
"Then I suppose I look nearly as bad as I feel," Obi-Wan shrugged limply. He purposely ignored the two questions.
Vader didn't seem willing to let it go. "You didn't answer my questions."
"It doesn't matter right now." Obi-Wan replied, brushing the questions aside.
"Answer me," Vader demanded, his voice icy and brittle.
Obi-Wan calmly looked into Vader's eyes, now slightly red-rimmed and swollen from crying. "It's not important right now." Obi-Wan responded. "What is important is that you, I, and Alpha get back to Coruscant as soon as possible."
Vader's jaw tensed and it looked like he was going to argue, but he dropped the subject in favor of a new question. "Who's Alpha?"
"He was one of the ARC troopers from Jabiim." Obi-Wan explained. "You may have worked with him once or twice."
Vader looked thoughtful before shrugging. "Maybe. So is he around here?"
"He's supposed to be. See if you can't find him and bring him back so we can leave." Obi-Wan sighed.
"Yes Master," Vader groaned as he lurched to his feet to do as he was told.
While Vader tracked down the absent Alpha, Obi-Wan closed his eyes again and worked to gather what was left of his strength. With Vader to escort them back to Republic space, they were set. All that was left to do was to get back together, get back in the fan-blade fighter, and lift off.
Vader sat in a chair in a hallway of the Healers' wing of the Jedi Temple and waited with barely maintained patience. This hall was mostly deserted as it was beginning to get late. Every now and then a Healer, someone studying to be a Healer, a patient, or a medical droid would walk past, but aside from that it was eerily empty and silent. He didn't mind that though. He just sat and waited.
Several hours previous to this, he had escorted Alpha the ARC trooper and his Master in a stolen fighter into the Temple's hanger. The Jedi in charge of traffic control at the time hadn't known what to think, nor had the hanger staff, seeing the exotic stolen ship sitting there on a landing pad. And they fell into a panicked sort of excitement when Alpha dragged Obi-Wan's semi-conscious, beat-all-to-hell form out of the cockpit with him.
From that point it had been a flurry of motion as Master Kenobi was rushed to the Healers. Vader had tried to follow, but a displeased-looking Master Windu had detained him. It seemed he'd heard from Master Mundi and the dark-skinned Jedi Master had given him a long lecture about responsibility and following orders. Vader had really, really wanted to just ram his right metal fist into Master Windu's face, but he squashed the desire and sat back and took it.
When Master Windu finally finished ranting and let him go with some stupid punishment that he'd already forgotten, Vader had come straight here. The Healers were examining Obi-Wan and treating his injuries so he'd had to sit outside the room and wait. And he was still waiting.
"It is late Padawan, you should return to your quarters." A soft voice suggested.
Vader glanced up from staring at his boots to see a silver-eyed Mon Calamari woman standing next to his chair. "I think I'll stay here." He said after a moment.
"Oh," she blinked her enormous bugling eyes in surprise, "are you waiting for something?"
"Yes," he replied and went back to staring at his boots.
She was surprised and displeased by his answer, he could sense. But he didn't care. He was waiting to be allowed to visit his Master and he wasn't going to leave until he did that.
The door to Obi-Wan's room hissed open and a Jedi Healer and a few medical droids exited. The Healer, a female Zabrak, looked worn out as she rubbed at the base of her temple horns. Vader stood, ignoring the Mon Calamarian, and faced the Zabrak to see if he was allowed to go in to visit his Master yet.
"You're still here?" The Zabrak blinked once she noticed him.
"Yes," Vader replied.
She stared at him for a moment, then sighed heavily. "You can visit, but please keep it short and don't upset him."
"Thank you," Vader bowed to the Zabrak, and still ignoring the Mon Calamarian that was watching him, slipped into the medical room where his Master lay.
Obi-Wan looked only slightly better than he had the last time Vader had seen him. He'd been cleaned up, bandaged up, and dressed in a pale hospital gown-thing. There were a few intravenous lines running into his left wrist and he had a clear little plastic tube that run underneath his nose and gave him an extra shot of pure oxygen. His eyes were closed, but Vader could tell that he wasn't asleep yet.
Vader took a seat in a chair conveniently placed close to the bed and took a moment to gather himself. He never really liked medical wards of any kind. The endless, repetitive, aggravating soft beeps and whirs of medical machinery tended to get under his skin and drive him crazy. And the smells of antiseptic and Bacta were absolutely disgusting, not to mention the odor of other unpleasant bodily fluids. But he pushed his discomfort aside and poked Obi-Wan lightly in the arm.
"How long are they going to keep you here?" Vader asked quietly.
"A few weeks at least," Obi-Wan mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes.
"Hmm," Vader grunted, "that sucks."
"Language," Obi-Wan muttered.
"Sorry," Vader shrugged, in no way apologetic. He didn't see how saying something sucked was all that bad. It wasn't something one said to a head of state, but it wasn't as bad as saying 'kriff this!'.
Obi-Wan sighed and seemed to sink deeper into his medical cot. Vader got the feeling of intense weariness from his Master, made worse by the dulling pain medication he'd been put on. Deciding to put his most important question off until sometime tomorrow, Vader was about to leave when Obi-Wan suddenly perked up, even making to effort of opening his eyes and peering towards the door.
Just as the injured Jedi Master did that, the door hissed open to reveal the Mon Calamarian woman from the hallway. She stepped into the room and fixed her large liquid silver eyes on Obi-Wan and stared sadly. Then she sighed and shook her head at him.
"What have you done to yourself this time Obi-Wan?" She asked wearily.
"And hello to you too Bant," Obi-Wan snorted.
Bant? Vader blinked. Wait…wait…wasn't that the name of one of his old friends?
"Answer the question," she murmured, moving to stand at the foot of his bed.
"Well, I would like to point out that I didn't do this to myself, I had some help." Obi-Wan replied dryly.
"I'm sure," Bant retorted with equal dryness, though she softened it a bit with a very faint smile. "You're a mess."
"I know," Obi-Wan sighed, closing his eyes again.
Bant moved to stand on the side of the bed opposite from Vader and studied the various read-outs displayed on the various medical devices. She sighed at what she saw and gently patted Obi-Wan's forehead with a webbed, fin-like hand. "You poor thing. What happened to you?"
"Oh let's see… I was declared dead, captured by the enemy, and tortured for a while." Obi-Wan shrugged stiffly. "The usual sort of thing."
"That's anything but 'usual' Obi-Wan." Bant scowled.
Obi-Wan painfully shrugged again and turned away to face Vader with his eyes half-open. "It's late young one, go to bed."
"But–" Vader started to protest.
"You can visit me in the morning." Obi-Wan interrupted firmly. "No go on."
Vader almost argued. Almost. But in the end he refrained. He was supposed to let Obi-Wan rest. So, very reluctantly, he got up and left the room.
As he trudged back towards his apartment, he scowled in frustration. He'd meant to badger Obi-Wan a bit more about who was responsible for hurting him, but it looked like he'd have to wait until morning to do that. It was annoying but he would just have to deal with it.
He would find out though. He would find out who thought they could hurt his Master and get away with it. He would find out and he would make sure that they paid dearly for it…
Obi-Wan sighed in relief as Vader vanished through the door. He'd been worried the young man would put up more of a fight than he had. He sensed that Vader had wanted to put up more of a fight than he had. But, being injured, the young man seemed to have decided to leave him be. For now, anyway.
He'll just come back in the morning and keep coming back until he gets what he wants… Obi-Wan sighed to himself. And he knew exactly what the young man wanted to know…
"Who was that Obi-Wan?" Bant asked, reminding him of her presence.
"My Padawan," He sighed, shifting uncomfortably on the medical cot.
"When did you take a Padawan?" Bant blinked.
Now, more than ever, Obi-Wan regretted not having spoken with any of his old friends since he had transferred to Corellia after Qui-Gon's death. "Some years ago," he smiled faintly. "I stumbled across him on Corellia." Quite literally in fact! He added silently.
"Hmm," Bant hummed. "He's rather…uncommunicative. I tried to speak with him in the hallway earlier and he was quite…vague. Almost rude."
Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and swallowed a moan. "He can get like that sometimes," he apologized weakly. "Actually, I'm not surprised he was that way. I was 'dead' for about a month and I don't know what happened with him during that time. He's probably still a bit upset from my…absence."
"Ah," Bant nodded thoughtfully.
A silence fell between them that wasn't quite broken by the regular beeps and hums of various medical devices. Bant seemed to be lost in thought, her large silver eyes clouded and distant. Obi-Wan found himself slowly drifting off, the painkillers that took the edge off his pain were starting to drag him down into unconsciousness. But just as he was about to nod off completely, Bant came back to herself and grinned down at him.
"You know I'm going to have to tell Garen, Siri, and all the rest that I've spotted you." She teased. "So expect a few more visitors than your mysterious little Padawan to be showing up soon."
"Blast," Obi-Wan muttered, pretending to be annoyed at the news, though he knew she wasn't fooled.
"Get some rest Obi-Wan," Bant laughed as she left the room. "You'll need it in the morning when Siri catches wind of this."
"Blast," he repeated more softly, almost meaning it this time.
And then he was asleep with the faint echoes of Bant's giggles ringing in his ears.
Mace Windu was troubled as he made his way to visit with Master Yoda. The war was not going particularly well. Jedi were dying at an alarming rate and there was no end yet in sight.
Then there was the feel of the war itself. The more he and the other Council Members thought about it, the more the whole thing seemed manipulated. A rogue Jedi Master had commissioned the clone army from Kamino ten years previous to the start of hostilities. And then the project had been influenced by Dooku, who had hired the bounty hunter Jango Fett to be the template for the clone army. Then Dooku put his influence on the Separatists and did nothing to halt the move towards civil war. In fact, he'd encouraged the Separatists down the path to battle. But why? What did he and the Sith gain from this?
And then there was Vader. That boy was almost as frustrating as the war. While he had provided some useful information about the Sith, including that Dooku was the Apprentice under the guidance of some mysterious figure known only as Darth Sidious. But the information had come late and was very incomplete, just glimpses and hints with very little clear and concrete. And he had yet to reveal anything about his background or personal information.
Now it seemed there was a new mystery swirling around him on top of everything else. The report Master Ki-Adi-Mundi had given him early that afternoon hadn't been good. Vader had abruptly abandoned his post with no explanation of why or where he was going. Mace had feared the worst, thinking that the boy had finally cracked under the pressure of losing his mentor and was either rejoining his old Dark Master or seeking revenge on him.
But then, inexplicably, he returned with a clone trooper and the believed-lost Obi-Wan Kenobi. And he'd returned quickly, less than a day after he'd deserted Master Mundi and his Padawan in Varonat. He shouldn't have been able to locate Obi-Wan so fast, without help. So how had he done it?
The Human Master slipped into Master Yoda's private apartment, still pondering the endless problems the Republic and the Order faced. The diminutive alien Master sat cross-legged on a small cushion, deep in meditation. Mace took a seat in the only Human-sized chair in the entire apartment and waited for Master Yoda to acknowledge him.
"Troubled you are," the ancient being observed with his eyes still closed.
"There is too much we do not know for me not to be troubled." Mace replied. "Have you seen anything informative, Master?"
"No," Yoda sighed, shaking his head. "Thick the shroud of the Dark Side has become. Less and less can I see."
Mace rubbed at his forehead with one hand, trying to ease the rising tension within his skull. "Every day grows darker. I am starting to forget what it feels like to hear some genuine good news."
"Mmm," Yoda grunted. Then his grim expression shifted to something more thoughtful. "Some interesting news I have."
"Interesting?" Mace repeated curiously.
"Yes, a theory I have as to how young Vader so quickly found the lost Obi-Wan." Yoda explained, almost cheerfully.
"Really?" Mace blinked.
Yoda nodded. "A bond they must share."
"A bond? That's not possible." Mace frowned. "Obi-Wan did not initially form a training bond with the boy nor did he ever report forming one later."
"True," Yoda agreed, "but a training bond I did not say."
Mace's frown deepened. "Are you suggesting what I think you are suggesting?"
"Yes, a training bond this is not. A latent bond it must be." Yoda confirmed.
Master Windu scowled as he tried to accept this idea. A latent bond differed from a training bond in that it wasn't consciously formed. When a pair of Jedi worked closely together for a long period of time and got along well with each other, a bond could slowly form between them over time. But…was such a bond possible between a Jedi Master and…and someone like Vader?
"If this is the case," Mace mused, "do you think either of them are aware of it yet?"
"Know that I do not," Yoda sighed, running a taloned hand through his white wispy hair. "Though if unaware of it they are, soon they will discover it."
"We can only hope that Vader will take it well." Mace muttered.
Yoda could only nod in response to that…