Chapter 21: Don't Speak

She looked around her at the paradise dreamscape. She knew she shouldn't be there, she needed to be awake with her sister, but at the moment she didn't want to wake. For the moment, she ignored the beauty of her surroundings in favor of searching for a certain someone. She moved stealthily through the foliage, looking for any sign of him.

He watched her from the high branches of the tallest tree. He was confident she would find him… eventually. She stopped under his tree, after what he knew seemed to her like an eternity judging by her frustrated demeanor, but which was in fact only a few minutes. He smirked when she jumped up onto the lowest branch of the tree to get a better look at her surroundings.

She was looking around, grumbling in frustration to herself when she felt a sudden weight hit the branch next to her. She whipped around in the direction of the disturbance in surprise and lost her balance. Flailing her arms about in a last ditch effort to regain her balance, she caught sight of something white and immediately latched onto it.

Caught completely off guard, Sesshoumaru barely had time to register what was happening before they both fell. It wasn't until after they landed that he knew what exactly had happened actually.

They landed roughly in a tangled heap of limbs and grumbling attitudes. Finally they both quieted and lie still for several moment before they detangled themselves in favor of laying next to each other. Together they watched the clouds pass over the night sky in tranquil silence.

Finally getting fed-up with the silence, Kagome began to talk about anything and everything. She wasn't sure if he was even listening to her, but continued speaking anyway. Somehow she felt better talking, even if he wasn't listening. Occasionally she would glance at him out of the corner of her eye, but would quickly avert her gaze, afraid of getting caught watching him.

You and me

We used to be together

Everyday together always

The gentle nuances of her voice gently floated on the fabricated wind of the dream world as he patiently listened to her. He said nothing and made no move to acknowledge her, but she continued speaking totally unaffected by his unresponsiveness. Silently he wished he were actually there with her in the real world instead of being caught in this dream world. He watched her from the corner of his eye, unable to redirect his gaze.

She looked like an angel, bathed in the moonlight, her hair being playfully pulled by the light breeze. Something drew him to her and he found himself turning towards her against his volition.

She abruptly stopped talking when he moved and turned to face him. She looked at him waiting curiously, her eyes open wide and her mouth slightly agape. Her eyes searched his face, looking for something, but only she knew what.

He found himself invariably lost in her clear blue gaze. Something about them drew him in and drowned him in a tender warmth he had never experienced before. He found himself sucked into a swirling vortex of emotion that he could barely identify with words and yet knew exactly what they were all the same.

She gasped slightly, seemingly finding whatever it was she was searching for. A light he could not identify shone in her eyes and she seemed to glow in that moment. A tender smile graced her lips that seemed to take his breath away.

He wanted to say something to her, anything really, but could find nothing to say. There was something he needed to say to her face to face, but had yet to find those words. He felt a possessiveness come over him. He wanted to make her his. He wanted her heart, but didn't know if he did or ever could have it. He was afraid that after everything she had been through with his brother, she would have no room left in her heart for him. But what would he do once he had her heart? He had no idea what he would do, if anything. He was unsure of so many things. He was pulled from his thoughts back to the vision before him and before he could contemplate his actions or their consequences, he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

She instantly leaned into him, sighing happily. She felt like she were in heaven. She felt as if she were flying and yet being weighed down at the same time. No other had ever made her feel this way. She lost herself in this one perfect moment, never wanting to let go.

That moment was ripped from her, however, when he unexpectedly pulled away from her without warning. He stared deeply into her liquid blue eyes, looking on searchingly for several moments before averting his eyes.

Even in this dream world, it was uncharacteristic of him to avoid eye contact. Concerned, the soft smile that had adorned her face slowly faded. The soft glow that had been in her eyes moments before faded into concern. Unsure as to why he was avoiding her eyes, she placed a small hand on his cheek, effectively returning his attention to her.

What she saw in his eyes made her gasp. The turmoil of emotion there startled her and worried her. Something was wrong, but she didn't know what and she had a feeling she wouldn't like the answer.

"What's wrong?" she reluctantly whispered, breaking the heavy silence. In reply he merely closed his eyes and leaned into her gently touch. There seemed to be something almost remorseful in his actions. Several moments passed before he sighed and opened his eyes, revealing liquid gold pools of sorrow. "What?" she asked again, her throat beginning to tighten in apprehensive fear. The sorrow she saw in his eyes fueled her fear, causing panic to begin to well in her breast. "What's wrong?" she asked again, barely able to choke the question out.

He sighed once more, a mournful sound that sent a trill of fear down Kagome's spine, before finally speaking. "After tonight," he began hesitantly before pausing, "… after tonight, I won't be able to visit you here anymore," he managed to get out in a low whisper.

I really feel

I'm losing my best friend

I can't believe this could be the end

He cringed at the stricken look that crossed her face. Tears welled in her eyes and hovered for a moment before they escaped from their prison and streaked down her face leaving trails like acid. Each tear she shed for him burned him in a way nothing else could. Even if he were banished to the deepest recesses of hell, the flames there would not burn his as her tears did. Gently he wiped her face of those damnable tears even as she continued to cry them and held her close, knowing it was the only thing he could do.

An eternity seemed to pass before she finally seemed to calm down. Tentatively she looked up at him. He watched her, ready for a reaction, but none was forthcoming. He stared firmly into her eyes, waiting, but could find nothing.

It looks as though you're letting go

And if it's real, well I don't want to know

"I don't want you giving up," he whispered. Something he said seemed to strike something within her. Her chin began to quiver as she was on the verge of tears again. His gaze softened at that, and he found that he needed to find some way to comfort her. "We will meet again, I promise you this," he said barely above a whisper. The effects his words caused however, he could well have shouted it.

Her eyes snapped into focus as the tears cleared from her vision once more. "How?… When?" she asked, a sort of eager desperation lacing her voice.

"I do not know. You must trust me," he said trying to impress this upon her. He knew she would doubt him no matter what, but he tried none the less.

A single tear welled in her left eye and spilled over, sliding down her cheek. "Can't you see, I need you?" she whispered. She trembled with the depth of her emotion as she looked at him through her tear shattered vision. "I need you here with me, but you're not here. You never were… We'll only be together like this in my dreams, " she whispered brokenly.

Gently, he cupped her face between the palms of his hands and gazed deeply into her eyes. "Believe me," he told her in a soothing tone, "we will be together again."

She nodded slightly, still not completely convinced. She wanted to believe him more than anything, but she could not tempt her heart to hope. She cursed everything she had within her and more for falling in love with a dream, but she couldn't help herself. Not only did she fall in love with an impossible dream, however, but that dream was leaving her.

Uttering a shaky sigh, she closed her eyes and leaned forward to rest her head against his chest. She knew this couldn't and wouldn't last forever, but she just didn't want it to end. " I don't want you to go," she whispered hoarsely.

Don't speak

I know just what you're saying

So please stop explaining

Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

"I know," he whispered back, not knowing what else to say. Having her hair so close to his nose enveloped him in her sweet scent. His eyes slid closed as he savored every moment he would have left with her and leaned his head down to rest against hers. He felt warm and safe here like this. Her scent wrapped him in a blanket of comfort that he enjoyed. For the first time he wished he could have held her like this while he was alive. Burying his nose in her hair, he held her close and prayed that this would last forever.

They stayed together like that, unmoving. Neither wanted to end that precious moment. However, like all good things, that moment did come to an end. Unable to stay still any longer, Kagome detached herself from Sesshoumaru and sat up to look up at the stars. Sesshoumaru soon sat up to join her, but rather was watching her instead of the stars. To him she was his shining star. She was his everything.

Without warning, she dreamscape began to ripple violently, and everything began to fade rapidly. Both eyes snapped to face the other as their time was violently ripped away from them.

Don't speak

I know what you're thinking

I don't need your reasons

Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

She watched with wide sad eyes, knowing she would have to leave him. This was probably going to be the last time she ever saw him. That thought sent tears cascading down her face as she pressed a kiss to his lips. He eagerly responded, giving her everything he had. When they pulled away from each other, they watched with sad eyes as they other faded from their vision.

Sesshoumaru watched in horror as she faded away, no more than a phantom to haunt him now. In an act of sudden desperation he reached out to her just as she completely faded from sight, his fingers coming in contact with nothing but air. He was left alone once more, but he continued still to stare blankly at the spot from which she vanished.

It's all ending, I gotta stop pretending who we are

X

"Sesshoumaru," a voice called, this one different from the one he was used to hearing. Like a marionette, he turned to face the origin of this new voice. This time instead of a beautiful phoenix woman, he was met with a half inu youkai, half phoenix man, that glared at him contemptuously.

Sesshoumaru knew this man held no love for him, given his history. Not to mention, this man hated him even more due to his history with the half phoenix's daughter. If Sesshoumaru had been a lesser demon, he would have trembled in fear at this awesome and terrible creature. But Sesshoumaru was just as formidable and if nothing, possibly more terrible than this demon… he just didn't know it yet.