A/N: I have made a few changes to the fic as the story goes on. This is the second last chapter...A thank you to those who reviewed and you who didn't do it now!;)

Genre: humor, parody, romance, slash, mystery, adventure, mpreg

Rating: R

Pairing: HP/TR, HP/DM, HP/CW, SS/LM, SS/RL, RL/SB, SB/JP, GW/NL, SF/DT, HG/RW, LM/TR(wishful thinking), TR/some random beach-boy

I don't own anything.

Part 8. Can it get any more cliché?

It was a fine Friday (two days until W-day). School was over for the weekend and the students were allowed to spend the next Saturday at Hogsmade. Draco Malfoy had it good. A comfortable chair under his sensitive tussy, a mug of hot tea and the blazing fire in front of his feet. Life was good…until the messenger arrived.

"Son?" a teary voice asked as the fireplace suddenly flared green and a pale face peered through the flames.

"Father? What are you doing here? Has something happened to mother?" Draco asked as he kneeled down to the floor to see his father better.

Lucius' face was unnaturally pale. His eyes were blood shot, his hair unmade and his zipper open.

"Father," Draco started tenderly. "Why is your face so pale, you aren't "borrowing" mother's powder again?"

"No," Lucius sniffed.

"Father why are your eyes so blood shot?" Draco asked now really worried for his father.

"Because this way I can get more pity from you," Lucius answered.

"But father, why is your hair unmade?" Draco asked, hoping his father hadn't lost their common discount coupon to Pedros' Salong.

"I lost our coupon to Pedros'," the elder Malfoy said sadly.

Oh this was ridiculous! He knew he shouldn't have left the coupon behind!

"Aren't you going to ask me, why my zipper is open?" Lucius finally asked after he had watched his son swear like a common Gryffindor for the lost coupon.

"Why are you here Father?There must be a good reason to call me," Draco said and rose back to sit on his chair. He watched as tears started to gather in his father's eyes and immediately felt bad for his harsh tone.

"Well, I have been made to invite you to your Uncle Voldy's wedding next Sunday," Lucius almost cried while he informed his son about the upcoming wedding of the freaking century!

"What? Uncle Voldy is getting married? To whom? I didn't know he was seeing someone?" Draco ranted as he sucked the information in like a sponge.

"Technically this is an arranged marriage," Lucius said bitterly and continued with shouting out, "and you can blame your Auntie Severus for that!"

"But isn't Uncle Voldy a little bit too old for an arranged marriage?" Draco pondered, raising his cup to his lips, taking a sip from his mug.

"Technically, Draco, technically! You see, we discovered a while ago that our Dark Lord is actually a Veela and he has a mate," the blond in the fireplace grumbled.

"A Veela? Mate? But how is that possible? How did you find out?" Draco was so out of the loop that his mouth hang open.

"It was a fateful night for the wizarding world and me, especially me. You see, it was the night you gave me Mr. Potter's thongs!" Lucius ranted and pointed his accusing finger toward his son.

"W-what do you mean father. You c-c-ca-an't possib--," Draco's voice trembled as his brain progressed the new information and the information he had on Veelas.

"Oh but I do, Draco my loving son! Harry Potter is the mate of our Dark Lord who found out about it by sniffing the THONGS you brought to me! The wedding is at noon, Sunday! Be there or be square!" Lucius screamed but before he got the chance to transport back to home, his son had ran out from the room like a frisky Hufflepuff after an extra Herbology lesson.

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Later on the same day at Voldemort's lair.

"Isn't this just lovely, Lucius?" Voldy chirped as he admired his handywork. The green carpet, the green curtains, the green wedding-cake (with snakelike decoration on top of it of course) and the green roses (the green tulips were out at Pedro's Blossom...his favorites, sadly).

"Lucius, Lucius did you hear me?" Voldy snapped after a moment. Lucius was ignoring him once again. It had been going on for the whole day! Voldy hated it!

With a final angry grumble Voldy marched to the blond and slapped him good and hard.

"Now you listen to me here, Lucius Malfoy! I'm not going to watch your mopey behaviour any longer. Get yourself together man!" Voldy ranted to the blond who was holding his left cheek.

"I need a drink," Lucius murmed.

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Albus Dumbledore's office at the same time.

"I don't know what I was thinking, Albus. You must forgive me. It may have been because he is the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Annoy-Me-To-Madness-With-His-I'm-Not-Gay speach. But who knows. And now we are doomed! Harry Potter is going to be Mrs. Harry Potter-Riddle in two days and the boy doesn't even know it!" Severus Snape ranted to the headmaster, tea in his trembling hands. He was sure Albus would kill him now.

"Now now Severus, there is no--," the old man started but was cut short by the younger man.

"You must save the boy, Albus! We could hide him! Or we could push him through the veil with Black...to be safe of course!" Severus said, his blood pressure raising fast.

"As I was about to say dear friend, there is no worry. Lemon drop?" Dumbledore said smiling offering his holy bowl of candies.

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Oh no! It couldn't be true! It just couldn't. Harry, his Harry wouldn't do this to them. Everything would be just fine, yes. Draco tried to assure himself as he ran through the corridors of the large school looking for the Saviour of the Wizarding world.

When Draco finally stepped outside to search for the missing boy he saw what he was looking for.

Harry, Hermione, Ron and Charlie were sitting near the greenhouses reviewing for their history test that would be held the next Monday.

"So Harry, how have you been?" Charlie asked as he went through the black haired boy's essey.

Harry glanced from his book and smiled warmly to Charlie whose heart did a flip.

"Fine, Charlie," Harry answered and went back to his book. Not seeing the adoring look Charlie was giving him.

"You are NOT marrying that, that over dressed drag queen," Draco Malfoy suddenly shouted as he was striving towards the Gryffindores, his eyes flashing.

Before anyone of the Golden trio had the time to stand up, Charlie had placed himself in front of Harry. He stood mighty and protective.

" What do you know about it, Malfoy?" Harry asked as he side stepped Charlie to see Draco who was at the moment having quite a nice fit.

"WHAT?" Charlie roared as he didn't hear Harry deny the accusation.

"Daddy just told me and he was crying! He told me about the thongs!" the blond shouted, ignoring Charlie completely.

"But I have to have my thongs back and this gives us the perfect opportunity to finally kill the bimbo," Harry said.

"How the hell does Molfoy over here know about your thongs?" Charlie grunded, sounding jealous, but of course he was ignored once again.

"B-but you can't go...I-I-I'm PREGNANT!"

A/N:The Bold and the Beautiful soap opera is nothing compared to this...more to come...stay tuned!