Chapter 2

On Monday afternoon the gang was in the basement, minus Jackie.

Donna: So Hyde, what happened to Jackie?

Hyde shrugged and said with Zen: She'll talk when she's ready.

Fez: It was awful seeing her that way…without make-up.

Donna smacked the back of his head and glared at him.

Kelso: No, seriously Donna, she always wears it. It was weird and creepy that she didn't have it on. What did you do Hyde?

Hyde: I didn't do anything dill hole!

Hyde was getting more and more agitated by the minute. He had spent the day playing out what had happened and tried with no success to figure out why it happened in the first place. Even Kelso had never made her that upset and he was the worst boyfriend in the world. Eric noticed his friend's edgy mood.

Eric: I'm sure she just ruined a perfectly put-together out-fit, it's nothing.

Hyde: Whatever.

Jackie had stayed home from school. It was still too uncomfortable to wear her usually tight clothes and she couldn't bring herself to face the questions she knew she'd have to face if she wore sweats to school. Instead she spent most of the day going over a few of the things she had saved from Steven, his Led Zepplin shirt, an old bag that held some cotton candy, a note that said he wanted to meet her in the parking lot during lunch, and a picture of the two of them. She shed a few tears but…she just couldn't bring herself to tell Steven why she was so upset and she didn't want to relive the pain and sense of loss every time they were together.

On the phone

Jackie: Hello?

Donna: Hey Jackie, it's me.

Jackie: Oh, hey Donna.

Donna: Jackie, is everything okay?

Jackie: No.

Donna: Well, do you want to talk about it?

Donna was asking part for her own reasons but mostly because Hyde had pulled her aside that afternoon and asked if he would check on her. Donna had teased him but when she saw how serious he was she stopped and felt a sense of panic.

Jackie: You wouldn't understand.

Donna: Well, try me.

Jackie: Donna—

Donna: I'll be there in ten minutes.

Donna hung up before Jackie could reply. A sense of relief overwhelmed Jackie and she was happy to have her friend come over. When Donna entered the empty house and made her way upstairs Jackie looked at her and suddenly knew she could tell Donna anything.

Jackie: Sit down.

The words came out as an order and Jackie tried to organize her thoughts as she paced the room. Having Donna there made her feel normal again.

Donna: Why don't you start from the beginning?

Jackie: Okay, so you know when we all went to the movies a few weeks ago and when it ended I didn't feel like going home? Well, Steven decided to drive me around until I felt better and we ended up at this really romantic spot where you could see all these stars and it was just like in a movie. It was really romantic and I wasn't really planning on doing anything because we already did it at the drive-in—

Donna: Ewww…Jackie I don't need that much information.

Jackie glared at Donna and continued her fast pace talking: Anyway, we weren't really prepared but then Steven had this really old one from like seventh grade in his wallet…and well, it was beautiful of course…but it broke and Donna—

Donna: You're PREGNANT!

Jackie started to tear up and then just sat down next to Donna and rested her head on her shoulder and her voice quietly murmured the next words.

Jackie: I was. I…I lost it on Saturday.

Donna wrapped her arms around Jackie in a comforting hug.

Donna: I'm SO sorry! Did you tell Hyde?

Jackie: I was going to tell him about the baby on Saturday but…

Jackie shook her head and just started to cry.

Donna: So, Hyde doesn't know anything?

Jackie: I can't tell him because he might not even care and I couldn't deal with that. He's not good with feelings and…I can't be with someone who doesn't care about that kind of thing and what if he was even happy?

Jackie said the last part in disgust.

Donna: Jackie, you need to tell him.

Jackie: No I don't, we're not even together anymore.

Donna: What? Jackie why aren't you together?

Jackie: Because Donna, when I saw him it brought everything back and I can't deal with that every time I see him. It's not like it meant anything to him anyway.

Donna: Jackie, shut up. Hyde really cares about you; he was really upset today.

Jackie: Really?

Donna: Jackie, I think you need to call him.

Jackie: Yeah…maybe you're right…Donna, can I spend the night?

Donna knew that Jackie hated to be alone at her house and usually spent the night with Hyde when no one was around.

Donna: Yeah, sure.

Donna pulled into her driveway and since it was dinner time at the Foreman's Hyde saw Jackie get out. She looked better but still not herself. She even laughed at something Donna had said on the way up the walk. He was desperately fighting the urge to get up and go over to Donna's but he had promised her some space. It had been a long night not having Jackie next to him. He just wanted to hold her.

3am Basement

Hyde had the tv on but wasn't watching he was in a daze. He wasn't even really thinking, just gazing off into space. His mind just kept flashing pictures of Jackie. He was too frustrated to sleep. Did she really mean to dump him? She had been over at Donna's for hours and he kept expecting her to come over and talk but the later it got the more frustrated he became. And his frustration began to slowly turn to anger. How dare she break-up with him and then sleep over at Donna's? What a bitch! But something was terribly wrong…he wanted to believe that she was bitch so that he could hate her instead of sit up and miss her all night…

3am Donna's Room

Donna was sleeping in the dark room when Jackie woke up in a sweat. She grabbed at her stomach and rolled over to cry. It was the same dream she'd had the previous nights, she'd wake up and feel drained like the life was being sucked out of her…only to be brought back to the reality that it wasn't her life, it was her baby's that was gone…

Basement

There was a light knock on the door to the basement. Hyde got up in a sleepy, nervous haze. He knew exactly who it was before she even finished knocking. He flipped the lock and opened the door to reveal a very scared looking Jackie with tear stained cheeks. She was wearing a white flowing nightgown and she looked like an angel, a very sad angel. Instantly she fell into him and he wrapped his arms around her. He led her to his room.

Jackie lay down on the bed slowly not taking her eyes off of his. She was scared but more than that relieved that he had been there with his arms open. Right now she just needed to feel something instead of empty. She pulled at the sides of his shirt to come down with her. She kissed him softly and began to pull his shirt over his head. Steven broke the kiss to look at her intensely and then stripped of his shirt moving over her. Their kisses became deeper and were gentle at the same time. Usually sex between them was urgent and needy, this time it was slow. His hands went to her hips and he lifted her to let her feel him. Jackie gasped and turned her face away letting a tear slip out. Steven stilled and looked at her, grabbing her face and forcing her to look at him only to be met with pleading eyes.

Steven: Jackie?

Hearing him whisper her name in worry was what broke her. Instantly the hold she had on him became more of a hug of comfort and less sensual. He responded by sitting up and dragging her with him. They sat next to each other on the small bed and he leaned in to kiss her softly and gently on the lips and wiped her eyes.

Steven: Let's talk.

Jackie nodded her head slightly and took in a deep breath. She grasped his hand and laced her fingers through his.

Jackie: I…I…

Jackie began to tear up again.

Steven: It's okay babe. Deep breathes and nice and slow.

Jackie took a deep breath and nodded again.

Jackie: Okay. (Pause) Okay, well do you remember that time a few weeks ago after the movies?

Steven smirked at the hot memory. Jackie smiled slightly at his reaction.

Jackie: Well…I…I—

Steven: You're pregnant?

Steven's face was one of surprise and shock. His fingers gripped around her tighter and he felt his heart stop. Then he was brought back by Jackie's bitter laugh.

Jackie: Just how I thought you'd react. (pause) No, Steven don't talk. (she put a finger up to his lips just as he was about to speak) I found out a week ago and was so surprised too but then I got used to it a little and I was so happy. I'm…I was going to tell you but…on Saturday I woke up and was so ready to tell you, I was so excited and (she began to tear up and took a moment to steady her voice) I…I lost the baby.

Jackie didn't break down, instead she looked up at Steven clearly. It was unnerving. He was trying to process the blow she's just laid on him. He took a slow, deep breath and let it out with a huff.

Steven: Okay. Well, are you okay other than that?

Jackie's emotions were running amuck and she couldn't help but feel a sting in his words, whether she imagined it or not. "…other than THAT?" What the hell? Jackie's reply had a bite to it.

Jackie: Yes Steven, other than losing the most precious thing in the world, I'm just dandy!

Steven: Calm down Jackie, ya know maybe if you had just told me in the first place you wouldn't have been so stressed and—

Jackie: Oh so it's my fault! First of all, you didn't look that ecstatic at the news so maybe it's a good thing for you that I lost the—

Steven: You sure gave me a lot of time to adjust to the idea too!

Jackie: What did I expect, you've never loved anything in your life, it's like you're incapable of it!

Steven: (Zen) Whatever.

Jackie looked as though she'd been slapped when he responded with Zen. She had wanted to stop her hurtful words from coming but her emotions had taken control and made her fight when all she wanted was to sleep in his arms. Tears were forming in her eyes and Steven reached out to grab her arm but she snapped it away before he could. She made her way for the door but stopped to look back over her shoulder.

Jackie: Yeah, 'whatever'.