"Where the fuck were you?" spot stormed upon seeing me and Kayla enter the band room.
We had heard them playing from the courtyard and Kayla had convinced me to go apologize and practice with them. Great advice she gave.
"We thought you guys had left." I retorted lazily, leaning against the band room door.
"Yeah, great assumption! Rita told us they were down stairs so why the fuck did you leave!" blink joined in, real red in the face.
Mush was over by drums and cowboy had his base in his lap though neither took their eyes off me.
Cowboy gave me a listless, all-knowing smile that made me want to beat the hell out of him.
"I didn't know, c'mon lay off me will ya." I muttered in my usual lifeless, uncaring tone.
Spot's jaws were clenched hatefully and I could see him trying hard to resist soaking me right then and there.
"You know I'm fuckin' sick and tired of you blowing us off all the time, skits! I love you and all but it's fuckin' hard to keep my temper when you act like you can any goddamn thing you want to." Mush said sincerely from his seat at the drums, his jaw set squarely, his hands tightly clutching his drumsticks.
God, mush always made me feel so fuckin' guilty bout everything. Even when he was mad he tried to be so reasonable and shit and it made me feel so guilty, like every thing was my fault and I didn't deserve a friend like him. I wish he would have fuckin yelled at me like spot did. Just let it out and let me have it. Not beat around the bush, all calm and shit.
"You see what time it is?"
Blink brought me back to my senses.
"I said, you see what time it is?" he took hold of my chin with his hand and jerked it up towards the clock, pointing at it violently with his other hand. "Its 11:40! Lunch ends in 10 minutes. 10 minutes for a full band rehearsal! You left us 10 fucking minutes!" With one last jerk of my neck he let go of my chin.
I could care less about what any of them said or yelled at me. I would do it again if I could go back. Getting yelled at and cursed at was worth having a lunch with just Kayla. All that commotion was worth one peaceful 45 minutes. It didn't matter if they didn't realize it but I could have cared less about them and this fucking band; all this I could care less about.
So I just stood there and took their lashings without a word, just staring them in the face, my expression completely passive which only angered them more.
Finally cowboy interjected, "come off it! He's here now so let's just play for gods sake!"
Both spot and blink gave me one last glare before picking up their instruments; blink his mic, spot his guitar.
I didn't hate cowboy. I hated mush for being so nice. I hated spot and blink for being so mean. But I didn't hate cowboy.
Kayla squeezed my hand, which had been in her grasp the whole time, and whispered in my ear, "It was worth it."
The same words I had been thinking only moments before.
Slowly I shuffled over to the instrument closet, my hands clenched into to fists.
Fuck all of them! They were all uptight posers! I mean, was it that hard to realize that we sucked. We didn't need practice, we needed a new band. We sounded like shit and either they all were too poser to admit it or too poser to realize it.
My motivation and enthusiasm in love buzz had been declining for some time but I have decided it was only then, with spot and blink glaring fiercely at me and cowboy and mush hating me but too descent to show it, that I lost all passion for the song whatsoever. By then I could give a fuck about whether we played or not and even less about if we won. Really I just wanted to fuck over the whole gig.
I returned from the instrument closet with a school guitar in hand, my eyes averted to the floor as I walked. I really didn't want to meet cowboy or Mush's gaze. God, I hate it when people are nice cause it makes me feel so damn mean!
"Uh… skits…when you weren't here…spot said it was o.k. for you to play lead… if you want to."
Great, the one practice I miss, spot gives in for lead guitar. Real smooth skits!
"Yeah, sure, whatever." As usual my tone was completely indifferent.
I could feel spot's glare suddenly become incredibly sharper, only making me feel even more satisfied in his surrender.
"We gonna play or what? We got 7 minutes now!" blink exclaimed brusquely from his place at the mic.
God how I wanted to break open his head with the guitar but… some how I was able to refrain from doing so for the guitar's sake, (who would want to be bathed in blink's blood?)
And so we played… and we sounded like ass. I did a rocking solo, which was then nullified by spot coming in too loudly on guitar. Blink managed to tame his ragged voice for the first verse but could no longer maintain a civilized tone for the second and by the end of the song was singing in his usual edgy, garage-y, inaudible voice.
And the whole time, all I could do was think about why the hell were we doing this? We were only going to make fucking fools of our selves! Why the fuck were we doing this and not only doing it, but actually taking it seriously? I mean, everything else we did we didn't take seriously! Cowboy didn't take gravity seriously; broke his skull once skateboarding. Spot didn't take eardrum capacity seriously; busted his ears playing guitar full volume in an old, deserted barn last year. Race didn't take commitment seriously; fucked half the girls in school but has never had a girlfriend. Me and blink sure as hell didn't take cancer seriously; smoke at least 3 packs a day between the two of us. None of us took school seriously…or parents or rules of any kind. Hell, we didn't take life seriously! So why the fuck were we taking a high school talent show so damn seriously!
That day after school we went over to mush's house to hang out.
God how I wanted to turn them down. In my head I pictured what I would say, something like 'your all fuckin poser's so yeah… that's why I cant come over.' I decided telling them off was not such a good way to go about things, especially when they were already mad at me.
I considered a doctor's appointment or dentist or something but I had used those excuses before and cowboy would know they were excuses to boot.
But I wasn't all frowns; mush had told me his friend Donna was coming over so I was hoping for a bit of action there.
Since me and Kayla stopped with the whole fuck buddy's relationship, not many girls had come my way. There were those gals at the 'real' party's me and my cousin went to, but half of them were delirious when I fucked them and the other half didn't realize I was only a sophomore.
I grinned at the thought of girls thinking I was older then my age; always a good tool in hooking up.
"Whoa, is it me or is Skittery actually smiling." race exclaimed, punching me playfully in the shoulder as we walked from the subway station to mush's apartment.
"Whoa, he is smiling! Hey, what you thinking about that's making you so damn happy, skits?" Blink questioned, cocking his head to one side as if truly interested in what I was thinking.
It made me so damn mad when they did stuff like that to me. I mean sure the attention was great but it wasn't true. I sure as hell did smile, same as laugh and grin and socialize and be all hyper and shit. But I did all that crap when I was happy and I sure as hell wasn't happy when I was around these cock suckers.
If only they knew what I was soon to become, then they would really have something to mock and jeer at.
"So what are you thinkin' bout, skits?" cowboy asked, nodding his head my way as the 8 of us lumbered along 103rd street.
"How I'm gonna get Donna in my pants." I joked, my grin growing even wider and matching so perfectly with the smiles the rest of the group sported.
Kayla frowned up at me, her eyes warning. I squeezed her hand in my grasp to let her know I was 'joking'.
I wasn't joking.
This was how it used to be, in middle school and 9th grade. The 10 of us; me, cowboy, blink, spot, jade, race, mush, Kayla, Rita and molly all of us laughing and poking fun at each other but not really meaning anything of it.
When had things gotten so fuckin' serious; I don't know. God, I wish we could go back to how things were before as corny as that sounds. Hell, me and spot used to be best friends! Me and Kayla were practically the best damn couple in the whole school. And look where our 'clique' ended up; every body hating every body. Everybody's relationships on the rocks. Nothing was stable. You couldn't count on anyone. It was like there was a war within our tribe; complete with double agents and secret revengeful missions and I fucking hated it! I-fuckin-hated it! I guess I'm being hypocritical cause I kinda helped put our gang this way when I stopped talking to people outside our group and stopped going to parties. But it wasn't only me. It was Rita. It was spot. It was cowboy & molly and all those other fucked up couple's like blink & jade and mush & Fanny and the now deceased relationship of me & Kayla.
You could say it was bound to happen eventually. I mean…think about it, 10 people in a gang, all with completely different personalities, their only similarity being their taste in music.
We reached mush's building on 103rd and riverside and found molly and Donna waiting for us outside, (cowboy had called molly after school to ask her if she was feeling well enough to fuck him. As usual her answer was yes.)
"Well you guys took your time." Molly stated pleasantly, planting a kiss on cowboys open mouth.
She looked a bit tired and her hair was rumpled and unkempt but hey, it was only going to get more rumpled within the hour.
Cowboy smiled and wrapped his arm around his lover's waist sub-consciously.
No one noticed his actions; it was the position you could usually find him in when molly was around.
With his other hand he took off his headphones and let them hang around his neck carelessly, "race insisted he needed coffee."
Race gave Donna and Molly a toothy smile, "had history 9th period. Could hardly keep my eyes open."
"Hey skits," Donna nodded her head towards me, her orange-dyed hair glistening beneath the late March sun.
"Hey Donna."
I let go of Kayla's hand; Donna knew we were just friends but still I didn't want her to think anything. I heard Kayla subtly sigh next to me; she knew what I was playing at.
"You ever finish The Wall?"
We had started watching the horrific Pink Floyd movie last month (the last time we had seen each other) but we hadn't been able to finish it.
"Nah, you?" Later that week I rented it for myself.
"Nope." She and race had watched the end the next day at her house.
"I brought it if you want? I dunno, I think we were up to the sex scene last time." She smiled puckishly at me, her eyes glinting.
I returned her smile.
Minutes later my tongue was in her mouth, my hands caressing her breasts. God I had forgotten how fuckin good boobs felt to hold!
She held my head in her hands, slowly twisting my long brown hair around her delicate fingers.
In the background "young lust" was playing quietly from the T.V. and two people were fucking each other on the screen. In the corner of mush's room, cowboy and molly were making out heavily on the couch. I knew it wouldn't be long until they got up and went to get condoms.
We slipped under the sheets of mush's queen size bed, still in 'action'.
My hands migrated to her back where they unclipped her bra, pushing it off the bed and onto the floor where it fell in a heap next to her shirt and mine.
I felt my dick get hard against her waist.
She must have been a D cup or something cause her boobs were fuckin' huge! I had always held Kayla in pretty high regard but now seeing Donna, Kayla was like a flat-chested 10 year old!
I heard the door open and close quietly as cowboy scampered out into mush's hallway in search of condoms, wearing only popcorn print boxers.
Molly sat pleasantly on the day bed where cowboy had left her, dressed in a blue lacy bra and a matching thong, smirking as she watched me and Donna go at each other, our tongues weaving in and out of each other's mouths.
My hands roamed up and down Donna's body, feeling every crevice and curve of her lean frame though always coming right back up to her chest, still skeptical as to the size of her boobs.
I heard the door open and close once more.
Cowboy threw a blue plastic wrapper at me and grinned sheepishly, before going over to molly and slipping his on.
Moments later I entered Donna and suddenly I was completely at ease… like I had entered ecstasy instead of some really hott rocker chick with huge breasts.
My mind roamed. Fuck the talent show! Fuck spot and blink! Fuck lead guitar! Fuck love buzz and fuck those hell-raising judges. I had gotten what I had been wanting and nothing else mattered any more.
hope you liked this ch. schools over so the next ch should be up pritty soon.
Mush n' Marbles: thanks so much for reveiwing! im glad you liked it and i hope you like this ch too!
another pansy and too lazy to log in (lolz molly and fanny): gracis para la reveiw and i think im going to stick with this story for awhile (i feel real bad bout deserting Rebel Yell and The Canada Boys but w/e.)