Pairings: GaaIno...etc.

Warnings: Stupidity...and more Shonen-ai.

Author's Notes: Omg...this story is so retarded... XD Sorry, about the delays, btw. I've been busy! I'm going to college! w00t! Oh, and thanks for your reviews. You guys are sweet like candy.

Go, on! Read!

:gives candy:

Chapter Seven: Tests

"Please?"

"No."

"It'll just be this once...I'll never ask you for anything ever again."

"Absolutely not!"

"But, Neji..." I whine as I look up to that cold face. He's a cold man. It's not like I'm asking him to murder anyone. I got no sleep last night, I left extremely early just to catch this guy and ask him for this favor. I'm on my knees, begging for his help and all he can say is 'No'.

He's so cold.

"Please..." I look up at him with my watery eyes. He turns his angry gaze towards me. Very slowly it becomes inquisitive and then completely unreadable.

"You're insane."

I scream.

"Neji! Neeeeji! I know it sounds bad--"

"NO! What you're asking isn't 'bad', it's insane. I won't stoop that low. Never."

"Come on..." I try to coax him for the millionth time, "All you have to do is hit on him a little--"

Neji clutches his head as if he is a teacher dealing with a very slow student. He lets out a huge breath and tries hard to calm himself down. I move away from him a little to give him space, but my pleading blue eyes never leave his face for an instant.

"It's for love, Neji...Love!" I pull on his long billowy shirt gently and whimper again, "Please?"

"That's it! I'm leaving!" He turns to walk away.

He sure is a tough one to crack. What kind of man can resist sad blue female eyes like mine? I mean, sure I don't know Neji that well, and yeah, I am asking him to seduce the man I love, but that has nothing to do with it! Okay, well it does, but I have good reason!

Or I might just be going insane.

No! I have to test this out! After seeing Gaara with Naruto I have too many questions that have to be answered now! I mean...does he really like guys? Like that?

I feel a lonely breeze pass by. I brake down in tears.

Not to worry, I'm a pro at this. I'm not really that upset. It takes a lot more than rejection to get me in tears. The truth is that Sasuke may be the number one heart-throb, Naruto may be the number one noisy-ninja, and Shikamaru might be the number one genius, but I am the number one beautiful-kunoichi-that-gets-everything-she-wants! Tears, obviously, are a major tool I use to achieve my goals if all else fails.

My sobs stop Neji in his tracks. He turns around slowly and looks at me with a surprised look on his face. That's the classic 'oh, shit. I made a girl cry' look. He's probably still a little irritated, though. It's time to really put on the water works. With enough tears, hopefully, he'll give in. Now I just have to think of really sad things. A girl must picture the worst of all possible tragedies in order to make the tears seem real.

My parents were slaughtered...

Nope! Not sad enough! I'm alone, it's raining, and I don't have an umbrella. Then I see that someone has drowned a litter of puppies. Cute, tiny white puppies with little pink bows tied around their necks. Their tiny furry bodies are cold and wet with death. Oh, God! That one hits the spot. Those poor little puppies!

"I-Ino...?" Neji stutters as he carefully approaches me.

Now I have his attention. Damn it! I still need to concentrate more on these tears! He's not giving me the 'consoling hug' yet!

Okay, Sasuke was going out with me, but he left me for Sakura! That might as well be true except for the part where he was going out with me. Oh, the tragedy! Even my sad thoughts are better than reality. At least in my sad thoughts I can pretend I was dumped and not just totally ignored. My tears are falling more freely now. Good! I still need to concentrate. Alright, not only has Sasuke dumped me for Sakura, but he's started wearing her signature color!

Sasuke in pink.

"Oh! N-Neji! It's so t-terrible!" I wail.

"A-Are you going to be alright...?" He moves closer and reaches out one of his hands. I shake my head and ignore his hand as I continue to sob into my own. He's still not feeling sympathetic enough! He really is resisting 'woman tears' pretty well. I'm going to have to say something sad and touching. I turn my anguished, compelling eyes towards him and gaze pathetically into his white orbs.

"S-Sometimes...N-Neji...I just feel s-so l-lonely...L-Like a caged bird..." I gush out. A tear rolls down my cheek almost as if on cue. His eyes widen in surprise.

"Ino! I had no idea!" he rushes to my side and wraps an arm around me.

Bingo.

"Neji!" I sob loudly. I bury my head into his shirt and clutch it tightly. From this position, at least I can hide my small satisfied grin.

"You really care this much for that Gaara?" he asks. I nod fervently into his chest. I really do care. That's why I'm doing this, right?

"MmmHmm...That's why I have to know! That's why I need your help," I squeak out, "I'm so sorry Neji...I know I bother you. I'm always bothering someone...I can't even – I mean, everyone else has someone – it's just not f-fair. Why do I always have to be alone? I just...I just..." I sob before I finish my sentence. I don't really know what I'm saying anymore anyway.

"Shh! Don't cry, Ino. It's just that...It's just that I really don't think I could do that anyway...It's so unlike me..." Neji says. It is so unlike him. It's unlike him to act this nice towards me anyway. Score one for the power of Ino Tears! At least he's considering it. Last night, I knew if I was going to have to ask anyone to help me in this, it would have to be him. If Gaara really is ga – attracted to guys – then he wouldn't be able to resist Neji hitting on him. Neji is second best looking man in Konoha (Sasuke being first). I couldn't ask Sasuke for obvious reasons, but I just thought somehow that Neji would be more willing. I look up to him quickly.

"Neji! Just pretend he's a girl! It kinda looks like he's wearing eyeliner anyway! He could be like a girl with really short hair...please, Neji?" I plead desperately.

"Well..."

I stare into his eyes with unrelenting sadness.

"Fine. Just, please, stop crying."

I bounce around eagerly behind the register. After finally getting Neji to agree to join in on my scheme, I still had a long time before I had to open the shop. Ever since I'd told Neji the plan I've been teeming with anxiety.

"Gaara! Don't forget what I told you! Today I want you to help with the costumers, it's about time you learned how to deal with them instead of me – "

"I know. You already told me a hundred times," he cut in sharply. Okay. It's okay. I'm just a little on the edge now. Gaara doesn't look like he's in a good mood. I feel kind of bad now for pushing Neji into this. What if Gaara tries to kill him?

I fidget nervously and tap my fingers on the counter as I watch the clock tick away. I hear a sound and jump up quickly.

"What? What is it, Gaara?"

"I didn't say anything..."

"Oh."

"What's wrong with you?" he glares.

"N-Nothing! Nothings wrong!" I answer a little too quickly. I pull out a magazine for cover and flip through it speedily. My eyes shift between it and the clock.

10:58

Two minutes. What if he doesn't show up? He has to show up! Neji's the polite type, right? It would be against his code of honor to hold back on a promise (I made sure he would promise about five times).

"Ino...?" Gaara asks with a tilt of his head. Oh no! I'm being suspicious!

"I'm sorry, Gaara...It's just that I didn't sleep much last night." I say as calmly as possible while still keeping an eye on the door.

"Aa. I understand," his statement catches my attention. Once again I notice how tired he always looks. I should have brought him some coffee today.

"Gaara, are you slee– "

Bells jingle.

"Costumer!" I yell as I look up at Neji. As soon as Neji catches my eyes, he quickly turns around and runs out of the store. Gaara looks at him curiously. I laugh loudly.

"Oh! He's just shy! Let me go get him," I force another fake laugh as I leap over the counter. I hope he hasn't run off too far.

"Maybe he just doesn't want flowers," Gaara states.

"Nonsense! He's got that 'I wanna buy flowers' look on his face!" I rush past Gaara and tackle Neji.

"Neji! What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Ino. I can't!"

"Neji! You promised! How dare you take back your word! You coward!" he flinches a little, "Just pretend he's a girl! Now get back in there and shop for flowers!"

I shove him inside.

Gaara stares. A horribly awkward silence commences. Neji puts out his hand. What the hell is he doing?

"Oh! Gaara! This is Neji. He's my very close friend. He's shopping for, um...who were you shopping for again, Neji?" I nudge him in the ribs and whisper for him to start acting.

"Oh...Y-Yes. It's for someone special." he stutters at first but recovers with a handsome smile. Good boy, Neji. I mouth to Gaara to shake his hand. Gaara looks at it in distaste but finally takes it.

Gaara, tries to remove his hand quickly, but Neji is keeping a firm hold on it. He looks as if he is really concentrating on what to say next.

"It's a pleasure," Neji draws out sensually with a naughty grin.

I have an urge to start laughing, so instead I head back behind the counter to watch the rest of the show. I'm surprised at how suddenly Neji changed. Maybe he could join me as one of the greatest ninja actors?

"How can I help you?" Gaara asks in a mechanical voice. He's not too happy with helping costumers at all, but he still goes through the motions like I taught him.

And Neji is still holding his hand.

"Let go," Gaara glares in irritation. The room temperature drops about ten degrees. So far, everything is going well.

"Of course." Neji lets go a little reluctantly and grins decadently at Gaara. He's laying it on pretty thick. Gaara turns to show him some flowers and starts explaining what occasions would be nice to give the flowers for. Before Neji follows him, he turns to give me a nasty look. I hide behind my magazine and observe quietly. It's a good thing the shop is so small. I can hear everything they say.

"So what kind of flowers are you looking for?" Gaara asks in the most pissed off flower vendor voice I have ever heard. I'm going to have to grill him about that later.

"I'm not sure...what kind of flowers would you recommend? You seem to know a lot...about flowers," Neji says in a low husky voice. Gaara sighs noticeably.

"I work here," he grits out between his clenched teeth. It almost looks like he's suppressing a few cuss words down. He doesn't look like he likes Neji at all! Maybe I should tell Neji to back off? No! Gaara could just be playing hard to get.

Neji turns to me. I just motion my head towards Gaara. He needs to make a bold move on him first. That will give it all away! I pretend like I'm not paying attention. I bury my face into my magazine again.

Neji turns back to Gaara and leans closer to him. He places one hand on the counter next to Gaara and he lifts the other one as if he wants to touch Gaara.

"You know...you have really beautiful eyes..." I hear from behind my magazine. Suddenly a hand slams down on the counter in front of me. How did Gaara get up here so quickly?

"Ino. I quit," Gaara says emotionlessly.

"Whaaa? But Gaara!" I exclaim.

"But I still want flowers..." Neji winks.

"Are you hitting on me?" Gaara glares dangerously. Both Neji and I flinch.

"Uh...I was just wondering if you..." Neji starts, but before he can say anything else, Gaara shoves him out of the store.

"No! I'm not for sale!" Gaara yells and furiously picks up the broom to sweep the already clean floor.

"G-Gaara?" I ask timidly. He only shudders in response.

Yay!

I have an inner cheer going on in my head. He doesn't like Neji, so that means he can't like any other guys! If a guy had to be in love with another guy, it'd have to be with someone handsome and charming like Sasuke or Neji. So, him not liking Neji is like girl not falling for Sasuke! He resisted Neji's incredible mojo! I'm so relieved!

But suddenly I remember Hinata. She doesn't like Sasuke. She likes Naruto. I gasp at my realization. It's still possible, however unlikely, for someone to resist charming handsome men...but to still like men. What if Gaara likes the anti-Sasuke? Neji might not be his type! I still can't get over how he was all over Naruto. He must like loud, stupid boys.

Damn! A whole in my beautiful web!

What do I do now? Do I have to get every man to hit on him before I find out the truth? Well, if I just had the two types hit on him...the charming and the idiot, then I should be fine.

But who else is a loud, moronic, show off like Naruto?

As I ponder my theories in my head, I watch the people pass by the store. A little white dog passes by...

"KIBA!"

"Huh?" Gaara interjects.

"I mean, Coffee break! I'll be right back!" I jump out of the store as I chase the idiot dog boy down. I catch him and explain my problem quickly.

"Whoa! Whoa! Wait a sec. You want me to hit on Gaara to see if he's gay? Why don't you just ask him?" he yells rudely.

I pause. I can't just ask him! You don't ask people these things, you create elaborate plots to discover their secrets! I change my train of thought. I really need him to help me.

I start crying.

"But, Kiba! You don't understand! I can't ask him a thing like that!" I blubber shamelessly.

"Whatever...Man, I'd hit on you if you wanted, but not on another guy!" Kiba says completely unaffected by my tears.

"Kiiiiba! I need to know! I j-just...get so lonely...sometimes...so I r-really need him..." before I can finish my brilliant act, Kiba turns and walks off.

"That's nice, Ino."

"Hey! Are you leaving? Are you just gonna leave a poor girl crying in the street?" I yell.

"Yup! Seems like it!" he keeps walking. That's the one fatal flaw with my technique. It only works on gentlemen and generally kind, honorable men that would be sensitive to a woman's pain. Kiba doesn't fit the bill. Time to move to Plan B.

"Wait! I'll pay you!" he halts in the street, ears perking up like a dog.

"How much?"

I'm back in the store waiting patiently. This time I'm going to be calm and resolved. I told Kiba to met here a few hours later so it wouldn't seem suspicious for me to return with him. In the mean time, Gaara actually helped a few costumers. They were both female and he did a much better job. I feel bad for putting Neji on him. There's only one last test.

Kiba. That stupid dog. Now I'm completely broke because of him.

The door slams open carelessly. Gaara looks up in irritation. Kiba's early. Can't he do anything right? I sigh loudly and tell him that Gaara will be helping today.

"Welcome to the Yamanaka Flower Shop. What can I do for you?" Gaara says in a bored tone of voice. Without warning, Kiba grabs Gaara's waist and pulls him close. He caresses Gaara's soft face with his other hand.

"I can think of quite a few things you can do for me, babe. I say we ditch this dump and get to know each other better," Kiba says with a bold wink and a wolfish grin, "Much better."

Three things happen very suddenly after time seems to stand still for an instant.

One. Kiba is smashed against a wall. Two. Sand flies out of who knows where and threatens to crush Kiba into Kibbles 'n Bits. Three. I'm screaming and trying desperately to pry a bloodthirsty Gaara off of Kiba.

"GAARA! STOP! LET HIM GO! LET HIM GO!"

"AHH! DON'T KILL ME, YOU CRAZY BASTARD!" Kiba screams.

Something finally makes Gaara loosen up a bit. It could be the fact that I've managed to jump on his back and am currently beating him with my sandal, or perhaps he remembered it's bad to kill people.

"Ouch," Gaara says, looking down to his feet. Kiba and I look down to see a ferocious Akamaru gnawing at Gaara's ankle.

"Good boy, Akamaru!" Kiba praises cheerfully. Gaara turns his attention back to Kiba.

"Get. Out."

"Ya don't have to ask me twice, ya freakin' lunatic!" Kiba yells as he runs off with Akamaru.

"K-Kiba?" I remark in a daze. Did all that really just happen?

"Um...Ino?" Gaara asks timidly.

"Yes, Gaara?" I look down at him. Wait a second...I'm not taller than Gaara. I slip off of Gaara's back carefully. My sandal hangs limply at my side. I notice how quiet it is and how the street outside seems to be completely vacant.

"Haaaa...That can't be good for business..." I laugh nervously as I slip my sandal on.

"Aa." Gaara mumbles back and adjusts his apron.

So the rest of the day goes by pretty uneventfully. After people saw Gaara nearly pummel a costumer, everyone else seemed to avoid the shop. As for Gaara and I, we also passed the time quietly. I tried to talk to him a few times, but he kept pretty quiet. Closing time rolled around pretty slowly, but when it finally did come I was very relieved.

I went outside after Gaara and I had cleaned up the little mess that was made. All the sand had magically found itself back in the gourd, just as quickly as it had come out to crush Kiba's bones. As usual, Gaara waited for me to lock the door. As soon as I locked it he sighed.

"This is why I hate people."

I let the statement settle in for a while. Then I burst out laughing. I don't know why something like that should be so funny to me, but it certainly is. I look up and his pale face seems to be slightly glowing with amusement. He doesn't ever really smile. It's funny how you can barely tell his emotions apart, but they're there.

"GAARA!" a loud energetic voice calls out.

We both turn to see a rambunctious blonde running towards Gaara. He launches at him for a hug but Gaara stops the shorter boy by placing a hand firmly on his head. Naruto turns his face upwards to give a sad pout.

"I said not to do that."

"But whyyyyy?" Naruto whines.

"What the hell are you doing here anyway?" Gaara asks bitterly.

"I missed you!" Naruto beams. Gaara looks at him in total disbelief and annoyance. "Ok, well, I heard you almost killed Kiba! What happened, ne? Ne, Gaa-chan?"

"You dumb shit. It's all your fault. Everyone thinks I'm gay because of the way you parade around me!"

"Whaaaa?" Naruto looks up innocently, "Why would they think that, Gaa-chan?"

I just have to butt in here. It may not be my business or anything, but...

"Naruto-baka! Just look at the way you were last night!" I interject, barely controlling my urge to slap Naruto on the head for being so dense.

"EH? Ino-chan?"

"You practically jumped into his arms like a girl!"

"B-But! But! Gaara's my best friend! I love him!"

"See what I mean? You can't say those things, Naru-chan...er...Naruto," Gaara points out to him and then turns to me, "He does this all the time."

"It's kinda funny," I giggle and toss him a wink. Gaara's eyes widen a bit. He takes my arm and walks off with me, leaving Naruto behind.

"I-Ino...you didn't think t-that...that..." he starts uncomfortably.

"Hmm...I dunno...You guys might make a cute couple. Too bad he has a girlfriend," I tease.

"But, I-Ino!" Gaara tries to say something, but is cut off by Naruto's loud voice.

"GAARA! LET'S GO GET SOME RAMEN! AND DON'T TRY TO KILL KIBA ANYMORE! 'KAY? GAARA! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" he yells, even though you could hear him just fine if he was talking in a normal voice.

"Go away, Naruto!" Gaara calls back, but Naruto only walks towards him after shouting something about a horrible friend. I laugh and turn to go my own path.

"Well, I gotta go. See ya tomorrow, Gaa-chan." I wave before walking home.

THAT'S THE END OF CHAPTER 7!

I hope you liked it! So, really, nobody's gay. I promise. I just like writing an eccentric and super bubbly Naruto! Heeheehee!