Piece Of Mind

Chapter 3

"Are we going to address the changing clothes thing, or...?"

That question brought Alexander right back to horror. The spell book wouldn't outright say it, but if there was one consequence for body swapping... Privacy invasion would be it.

They were lucky to be alive in an age of advancement; there were spells for the most mundane things you can imagine. Because of that, Alexander looked around at expressions of varying concern and had his mother's eyes blazing as they dared anyone to suggest closing their eyes and hoping for the best.

He approached, basically cornering them all as he threw out his hands. Never mind his heavier breathing, the pathetic white sparkles quickly manifesting just to flicker out while all his/his mother's(?) energy was summoning them. His family's heads lifted and fell, enchanted enough to follow their brief existence from palm to floor.

"Any moment-"

It was a combined effort to catch him when his legs gave out and the sparkle show disappeared from untrained hands. And maybe that was his fault – it didn't matter if his soul was in there. His mother might have encountered magic in her time, but she wouldn't know the first thing about how much energy to gather let alone what her potential would be if seriously attempted.

But it was never too late to summon that portal to under the castle-

[The contents of this scene have been removed for psychological purposes at the request of Prince Alexander of Daventry]

As far as Alexander was concerned, the twenty minutes after he and his family parted ways to change before meeting up again at the table for breakfast never happened. There's a reasonable explanation, you see, if magic can be at its strongest in the darkest time of night demons might casually knock on your door for a candle to guide their way and some food for the road... Why not a missing hour during daylight?

It could happen. One might miss learning something new if they're too close-minded.

Everyone was seated at the expected places, meaning Alexander found himself next to Graham and across from himself. And while this probably looked normal to Guard Number Three before she took her rightful place at the doorway in case of surprise attacks or choking... Alexander felt like he was the only one aware of his parents sending longing looks because anything more would be unspeakable with their current appearances.

The world needs rules, otherwise it falls into chaos. If the family was in agreement the first rule for their predicament to be not let anyone else know for the sake of keeping stability, then the second should be avoiding an already awkward thing a hundred times worse. Rosella didn't get that message, merely playing a role by reaching their father's hand out to their mother's and brushing the knuckles intimately.

He hated it here.

Still, Guard Number Three was watching the room daring evil to crash through the window before they could even digest. This was training for what might be moments acting as expected was crucial. Maybe lifesaving, if you want to exaggerate.

"Vee..."

He hated it here.

"Are you feeling okay after the drinks last night?" Rosella asked, effortlessly making their father's voice concerned as the other hand laid on his so they had some kind of unsightly flesh pile right on the table.

Guard Number Three was watching, he had to remember. Never mind Graham mouthing out to Vee out of her sight if that's what she heard when he talked. In return, he got a quick pat on the arm which meant...?

Alexander looked at their clammy hands, then his father's eyes. But even seeing the bright, undying spirit that was Rosella contained within... He wasn't content to go along in the slightest.

He hated it here, but he sat up with the most uncomfortable dignity and attempted to channel the limited knowledge of his mother. Those other guards from this morning seemed to go along with the flimsy wine story, a scenario Alexander hadn't been anywhere around to know what even happened. So, better to stick to it.

"Yes, the wine was stronger than expected. But I'm okay, Graham. Why do you ask, Graham?" It sounded so unnatural even to his ears, but he had to train himself to not sound strained when attempting to be in love mode right back. At least they didn't have pet names aside from the whole 'Vee' thing.

Right?

Rosella didn't miss a beat, flashing a smile that could work for either body her soul got thrown into. "Was I too obvious? I was too obvious! Anyway! I was thinking we should take a nice stroll outside town today, just you and me... Lovely scenery... Away from people... If you know what I mean."

That sip of water tasted suspiciously like blood... Meh.

He could look at just the eyes and sense Rosella had a plan. It wasn't completely clear because he still wasn't confident in his ability to read them, but he had enough information. The guards wouldn't drag the king and queen away from their little date unless the world was actually on fire, and maybe that was normal for them? Alexander didn't know... Didn't need the info, if you don't mind. In reality: the family could find a place to plan ways for reversing the spell. Ah, he had to take a longer route, but he got there in the end.

"You always know what I need, darling." Alexander belatedly replied, worried he'd hear the corners of his mouth screeching like the recently broken hinge on that bedroom door as he assumed he smiled back.

There wasn't a cloud in the sky, the sun streamed across the land giving some warmth and encouragement to tackle whatever task lay ahead. Alexander followed Rosella, not only because she could be trusted to not lead him astray in the woods, but he practically broke into a sprint escaping the conversation their parents were having in the back of the party after catching up out of sight of the guards. Too bad their volume barely changed.

"...I'm just saying: I don't mind pet names once in a while."

"Would you believe I came very close to seriously springing one on you after the wedding?"

"You should have tried that!"

"I didn't know if you'd like it. It was very creative, I assure you."

"And you want me to live with this loose end, Vee? I need to know."

"Take comfort in the knowledge no pet name I could have thought up would give the feeling I receive when you speak my nickname in my ear-"

Alexander couldn't take it anymore; he stopped suddenly and dropped the basket with barely any noise. Graham, who had been practically bouncing on toes backwards this whole time crashed into him and made it clear this highly specific spot before entering too far in the forest was a fine enough location.

The family removed Alexander's journal, the spell book, that forsaken rune and blank parchment with quills from the basket and found places to sit as the world carried on around them blissfully unaware of their predicament. If there was just a sliver of fortune, it was all of this accidentally going down on a non-business day.

Alexander honestly didn't know where to begin; they needed to study the consequences of leaving the spell active, but at the same time he hadn't expected to still have minor magical ability in another body. Really, anyone could unlock it with enough training. However, he'd been made aware rather quickly magic wasn't warmly received in the family.

Well, no one chewed him out for casting that spell when he expected it. Maybe he had become too accustomed to a fresh bruise for disappointment or larger scale failure. He understood the last bruise he'd ever receive for either of those had healed without a trace long ago, still he couldn't be anything but stressed or ashamed having to carry on with the topic simply... Dropping.

He read through the section about the body swapping spell, trying not to be outwardly uncomfortable when everyone peered over his shoulders. He kept Vee's voice as clear and consistent as he could, quoting how the rune was constantly absorbing magic from the castor as it was active. This spell was meant to be used for small periods of time, never beyond a week. That the souls, lost and separated, would have a certain time to adjust to their new vessel though most cases proved successful adapting. But if spending too much time in the wrong body, the soul would become too familiar and then extraction would be risky as it wouldn't be eager to return to a stranger.

Graham and Vee had encountered magic enough times to not be too overwhelmed by the information, but Rosella was another matter entirely. Alexander kept stealing looks at the latter, but she just forced herself to sit up after nodding off and unbeknownst to her had a foolish grin that was too appropriate on their father's face. It made Alexander briefly wonder if her soul was adapting to the body because of similarities between them, and if she would be the first to be lost.

"Lost". He couldn't smack himself in the face with the book for his dramatic thoughts without being the real fool, but Alexander made sure internally he wouldn't remove his palm from his face as he carried on with the lesson like nothing happened. He didn't need these thoughts.

The book was laid flat on the ground where everyone could see, perhaps the most important information being an illustration of the rune which everyone but Alexander agreed was possible to mix up with the one on the very next page in the dark or if really tired. Alexander was less convinced, doing his best to keep more disgust off his face because he'd somehow managed to get the overlapping shapes but not all five lines in the middle.

In rare cases, the body swapping spell has been observed to weaken the longer it's active. The family really focused on this certain section while Alexander struggled to remind them of the "rare" part. Required power and steps can be skipped should you cast it again, although there is no confirmed period this happens.

"I still think a family has a better chance of coping with this." Rosella suddenly spoke up after being eerily quiet for a while. She didn't seem to note Alexander's horrified stare contrasting their parents' agreeing nods. "If the 'consequences' don't kill us, if our souls and even the rules are flexible... Why are we worried about this?"

Vee, on her left, turned and squeezed her shoulder as she helpfully voiced a new thought. "If we can't swap back to our proper bodies, we might be able to wait for the spell to weaken and at least get your father or myself back in one of ours so we can take care of Daventry."

That had Rosella rolling her eyes at her own mother, before she turned to Graham on her right and failed to do the same to his increasingly solemn expression. She looked between both, and though Alexander couldn't read what was going on in her mind her confidence was visibly cracking enough for a hint before she stood abruptly.

"Why do you have to bring up the kingdom so soon?" Rosella began rambling much more coherent and slower than Graham, suggesting to Alexander her soul hadn't adapted immediately after all. "Daventry is actually at peace, look around. Unless we've received secret death threats from surrounding rulers and you're secretly paying them off or something, we're fine. Things are fine. This body swapping? Fine. And if anything did happen, I'd like to see anyone take on the four of us because it'd be a comedy act more than anything. I've been told all my life one day I need to learn how to be a functional ruler 'just in case', but that's not something you can ever be prepared for. Dad wasn't prepared for that no matter how hard he tried, no offense. You can't know everything, so just live with what's in front of you now. Anyway, I don't know how you end things like this so I'm going to walk away."

With that, Rosella made an unnecessarily dramatic swivel into the actual forest. Everyone else just sat there lost for a moment, a blink and you miss it thing because Graham leaped to his feet and gave them a signal to carry on before following.

Alexander just reached for the book, shoulders slumping as he attempted to resist the urge to ask what that was supposed to be. But in the meantime, he flipped pages backwards and landed on the much more basic spells. He flexed the fingers that obviously had no experience casting, so why did he feel the instant burn of magic forming? Logically, magic must have come from someone in this family if he could figure this out even from a young age.

His own eyes landed on him with silent concern, sharing stubbornness about admitting Rosella's rambling couldn't have come from nowhere. But neither would do anything about it, would they? Anyone keeping score – a valid hobby the castle staff might as well pick up – could see Graham was devoting a lot of free time to attempt this legendary father/son bonding they've heard so much about. For real this time.

That would currently be a distraction while the rune continued its evil glow although dimmed in the sun. Personal problems are valid, but let's throw them in a corner and let them pile before we actually tackle them. Give it a reasonable ten years after gaining extra life experience.

Eventually, Alexander's drying throat managed to ask the question he had yet to know her opinion of. "What do you think of magic?" Because Graham's was still in progress of changing at least slightly and Rosella simply shrugged off any mention due to confidence in physical weapons.

Alexander could sense a positive answer helping them, but at the same time he felt strangely young under Vee's thoughtful gaze like he outright asked if his magical abilities ever disappointed her somehow.

This new body was definitely not made with the intent of her soul, or however that works... But that didn't mean there wasn't enough similarities that kept her walking a straight line rather than tangling up in a different gait. This body was larger, easier to tire out and had weight to it. None of that meant an insult, mind you. It's just that she went from years of constant training and maintaining one body, so it was agile and loose when needed. Now this one was much less refined, held back by the lingering side effects of deep sadness.

But he was happy again, so Rosella had hope Graham would get past these side effects and thrive in his forties. She didn't have to test how long before the stamina ran out or chest pain was triggered but did it anyhow since she'd probably never have a more accurate reading of his overall health. So, she picked up the pace, almost forgetting why she even went out here when she was fast walking through clearings before increasing to a pace just beneath running as the late morning breeze turned to afternoon. Rosella heard panting before she was halfway to the next clearing, and it shouldn't have made the hair stand up on the back of her neck.

They say depression is a terrible affliction, usually an on-going fight for the rest of one's life. But just looking from a distance doesn't paint the image of what's really happening, so Rosella didn't know if Dad's lifespan was truly cut down because of that. If they didn't break the spell, maybe she could improve it with a strict exercise routine. Yes, just that would keep him living a full life. Let's keep it going, wishful thinking.

Rosella swept slightly damp hair off her forehead, bending over catching her breath. The latter noise wasn't so loud she didn't hear her own voice calling out for her.

"Rosella! Where did you go?!"

An idea struck, and she was sure no one should be smiling as much as she was just then. "Let me climb up this tree; it'll help!"

"What are you doing with my body?! The last thing I climbed was the highest shelf in the pantry!"

Rosella just fought through the approaching fatigue, unsure if that meant Dad was able to or her soul was overpowering it. Either way, she threw herself at whatever tree nearby happened to look the tallest from ground level.

She could remember the times Dad held her when she was around two or three. Hey, she'd even jumped on his back unprompted for the sake of it years after. She always thought he was strong and capable, but not a superhuman you'd read from a book. Like, he had realistic limitations. So just climbing a mere four branches had his body reaching a very noticeable fatigue.

Still, the old tree was strong enough to support her. Rosella let her father's body positioned in a secure spot against the trunk be like a guiding light toward her. She immediately heard stomping feet, then dramatically rustling grass so he must have been testing her body's athletic ability too. Although seeing his own legs casually swing off the side might have come off reckless to him, so that probably encouraged his speed.

Rosella, personally, filled her wardrobe with clothes for easy movement even in the most formal. Seeing herself successfully running near top speed even in a dress wasn't odd, then. She definitely understood why Dad would have picked out something to put on frantically, however she couldn't help lingering on the overall unfortunate thought longer realizing impressive color coordination aside that was a dress in the formal collection. He didn't think he would have had to do many athletics today, did he?

She thought he knew better.

Graham disappeared through the taller grass, though he emerged surprisingly fast and didn't even seem to purposefully make use of this different body's training; the blatant change from panic to wonder on his face as he gained control after tripping over a stone by twisting around and sliding back until his feet found stability.

The recovery was great, but the wonder was beautiful. Rosella tried not to blatantly gawk, but though she was watching herself look around with whatever minimal concern was in Graham's mind disregarded entirely all her mind created was an overlapped image of her father legit enjoying that tiny victory.

It's almost like you're eighteen again, not so wide eyed as you used to be but... Happiness hadn't become a challenge yet. Rosella cleared her throat, though she hadn't spoken let alone allowed that thought to be audible in her mind.

"Bet you can climb higher than the pantry!" Rosella called down to him, certain the smile on her face was legit as his improved mood while she casually waited for the fatigue to pass.

"Well, I've done it before..." Graham said with the most forced hesitation she ever heard, never mind the contradicting stretching as if to ready himself for it.

That's right; you don't reply on physical ability to get through problems, but if you're going to devote your life to adventure you kinda/sorta need a good vessel to get there! And even when you slacked up on that, wasting a lot of chances to do what you loved all these years...

Graham launched at the tree, fully dedicated to it. Rosella cheered him on like they were living lyrics of a motivational song.

I wonder if I did enough for you... I mean, I tried everything to make you at least a little happy as far as I can remember. If I succeeded, do you think we would have had more time together? No, what I REALLY mean is-

What must have felt like an hour for both was, what, barely a minute in reality. Rosella's breaking away from the group, Graham chasing after to find out why... That suddenly didn't matter. But what had the former applauding and the latter being physically unable to stop grinning at risk of facial damage was the successful ascent.

Please stay happy. I could have spent the rest of my life trying to bring just slivers of this feeling into yours, but I wouldn't have fully wanted to.

I want to see you be happy all on your own.

You're allowed to enjoy things like anyone else.

How much time do you have left, Dad?

"There's fulfillment in cracking codes, learning the unknown... But magic is the one thing I can't understand no matter how much I try. I have to curb my own curiosity and 'accept' it's a mystery." Vee told him, watching as he subconsciously pushed the stick through dirt. She wondered if that was another rune he was forming, although her own eyes dimly staring suggested he wasn't intending to cast another at the moment.

That must have been a topic weighing on his mind. She wished she could be more helpful, but Vee had a feeling... A terrible, almost hopeless feeling no matter what she said Alexander might take it as saying anything to cheer him up. That wasn't the case at all; he deserved an honest answer... Too bad her honest thoughts were positive. He probably would believe her easier if she said she wished a ritual of removing the magical energy entirely from one's being existed.

The image in the dirt became clear the longer they sat it looked like a square within intentionally crooked and narrow stars. Vee studied many subjects, but as she told him... For whatever reason, magic never made sense. There were times using it would have helped her out of peril, but the ability itself didn't fully activate the way Alexander's did. Although, when she saw herself managing to produce those glimmering white sparkles it triggered a memory she had kept in the back of her mind for hope of understanding it and magic in the future. It didn't happen, obviously, and as for the witness of what happened in that event...

"Being the only magic user makes me stick out, you know?" Alexander murmured before she could speak again, never lifting his gaze as the stick plunged further and was stuck there. "It's fair for you to assume if any of your children had to be given abilities you don't understand, at least let both have the same- Twins- Why was it only me? How could anyone know I'd be able to use magic most effectively?"

Vee folded her arms around longer, much more ungraceful legs than she was used to. Her chin came to rest on her knees, and while she admired the craftsmanship of the unused rune, she couldn't help watching Alexander to see if he had anything else to add. He definitely didn't express himself unprompted, so she considered it a victory for him when he did.

If only he could confess the question wasn't what Vee thought of magic, more like what she thought of him once and for all. But he wasn't going to look up anymore, it seemed, he wasn't so sure he'd want to know her response.

Vee smiled at him in case he did peek before attempting to get through. "Your association with magic can help not only myself, but the whole family understand it so we can do the same for you. One wrong spell isn't going to make us regret welcoming you home; you didn't do it with malice... I can imagine an alternate world where I was there to see you discover your abilities, and I'm proud of you. But even when I come back to reality, the feeling sticks."

Alexander did risk getting caught, snapping his gaze upward. When their eyes lined up, shock had his maybe not as wide as saucers but in this case it could finally be a realistic comparison. It seemed like he was going to weakly change the subject when his trembling mouth opened, only to slam shut when he stood.

Vee assumed he was going to leave too. He and Rosella were somewhat over the age it was normal to run for one's life away from a difficult conversation, but for Alexander... It made her sick to think about it, but he more than likely was never given time to compose himself. Oh, he was putting in maximum effort to walk normally a small distance away and not look like he was grabbing a nearby tree trunk to avoid smashing his face into it to block out the world. The effort should be noted and respected.

It took Alexander several moments to compose himself, but even then he just leaned his side against the trunk rather than return to his spot or even look at her. He finally swept his hand through her hair, disheveling it further perhaps as a way to keep a palm from sealing his mouth shut. If he hadn't waited, his next question had the risk of coming off shaky.

"Since magic manifested at all when I tried to use it earlier... Do you want to test if you can cast it in that form?" Vee could imagine, based on him shutting up and flinching slightly, him biting his tongue as punishment for such foul language.

"Well, you did leave a rune for us." Vee didn't mean to sound so playful, especially with his voice. But it sounded so natural.

She didn't blame him for flinching, though. He was either too nervous to respond or was closely inspecting the tree, but Vee didn't intend to pry about either scenario.

If Alexander wasn't the only – consistent – magic user in the family, maybe that could heal him somehow. Vee just wasn't sure in what way, nor what exactly gave him a negative perception.

Help me understand you, not just the magic. Vee attempted to signal to him when he finally returned, having to resort to a few echoing snaps of his fingers to either warm himself up for the flow of magic or he had been intensely stressed all this time.

Alexander sat right next to her after that, although he didn't look in her eyes. He just didn't make a big deal of his position, taking what used to be a highly trained hand and now dangling it for an awkward Vee palm perfectly aligned with the center of the square in the rune instead.

"This novice spell is a variation of a powerful one." Alexander informed her, voice completely neutral now. "Don't let the required rune confuse you; rare, altered spells still need what they did before. I think, if we get this to work, this has a chance of helping us break the body swap spell eventually."

"It won't be difficult for another soul trapped in my body to use magic since I'm so used to it." He sounded sure, emotions from earlier overcome. Or stuffed away. "You'll just have to train as much as you can."

But was he confident this would work? Vee stole a glance to the sky, noting it was afternoon and she still wasn't closer to knowing about magic or her son. And she was not an impatient person. She didn't push where something obviously wouldn't work. There was absolutely no evidence she could crack under pressure, be in such haste logic missed her head.

She definitely wanted to know what could possibly break the spell so soon, but for now held back impatience and attempted to trigger... Something? She didn't feel anything, not even when Alexander began idly suggesting she would lightning or fire. There was a tingling warmth beneath her fingertips, but it could have easily been the sunshine.

Her mind was supposed to focus, but instead she couldn't keep it in one place. She thought of the consequences for the body swapping, if there was any true danger to her family.

Then the idea of her family losing their identities as one of the consequences, if she or they had to watch someone blissfully refuse to acknowledge who they are and their feelings.

Then just Alexander, how she hadn't a moment alone with him at all since his return. Sometimes she genuinely felt like he was wondering if she loved him when they made eye contact, as if he needed proof before even coming close to believing multiple people could care about him.

And somewhere, recently buried and uncovered all over again was an energetic voice marveling over something magic-like she pulled off when her confidence the balance between princesses and their captor really was in the initial days before what would seal each other's fates.

All of this combined to move something she could barely explain not just in the tips but coursing in her palms or up to the wrists at unpredictable occasions. She looked up to Alexander, then guided his gaze to her hands. He responded with very carefully avoiding adding sentimentality to pinching certain spots on her palm as if to confirm for her.

It was magic. Vee knew she shouldn't have been surprised given it was Alexander's own abilities possibly just lying-in wait for him to return and put them to use... She wasn't even doing anything; it had the excitement factor of warming up water in a chilling winter.

Alexander spoke in awe despite the lack of fancy effects. "So that's what it feels like from the outside..."

Well, if Alexander found something pleasantly surprising about this Vee didn't want to take it away. She just focused the very light sensation of unfamiliar energy while he took in the discovery. He studied a lot himself, perhaps most of his life... But he never had anyone to practice with, someone to share these small discoveries, did he?

Alexander might not believe it, but Vee was happy to be "someone".

TBC