Pairings: GaaIno
Warnings: None
Author's Notes: Hey, there. Thanks for waiting up on me and continuing to read this story. A lot of your reviews are very nice! It still surprises me how much you like this story...Sadly, this is technically the last chapter, but there will be an epilogue. (Sniffles) It makes me kinda sad…
Chapter Eleven: Sleeping
"What happened to you?" I set my unnamed goldfish to the side and kneel on the dirt next to Gaara. I'm dying to know, even if there's still a faint, painful throb in my heart from the earlier rejection.
"Um…." Gaara leans on the bench and closes his eyes. I've never seen him make that expression before and I sense that he wants to be close to me. I don't know why I feel that way, but I stay back just in case I'm wrong. "I….I'm done…The last….last treatment…Finally!"
It surprises me to hear his unsure laugh. Is it happy, relived, or afraid? It definitely was not normal laughter.
"T-That…about that…" I have always been wondering about it. "That's why you've been at the hospital, right? What…what were they…doing?"
"I don't want to explain," he says.
"Why not!" I whine and finally move to grab him, gently. I beg for answers as kindly as I can, "Please….tell me. What's going on?"
"They sealed him up…sealing jutsu…They said I should stay…stay in bed…but I couldn't sleep…" Surprisingly, Gaara pulls me closer, possessively. My heart beats faster, and my mind swirls with confusion.
"G-Gaara?"
"Am I gonna have to tell you everything?" the agitation of his voice cuts sharply.
"I'm sorry! I don't know! Okay?" Feeling hurt and defensive, I move back, "It's not my fault! Geez…How am I supposed to know?"
"You don't know?" He laughs again, mirthlessly. "You don't know…I have a demon…?"
Demon?
He sighs and continues explaining. "That's what had to be sealed…but it's more…it's harder to control…than Naruto's…"
"D-Demon?" I gasp in horror, remembering the tales of the Kyuubi from my childhood. He can't mean a demon like that, can he? Oh my God…
"NEVERMIND!" He stands uneasily and turns his back on me.
"No, wait!" I pull him back, "Okay…so you have a demon, but he's all sealed up, right?"
Looking into his eyes I see a fury of emotions I've never witnessed before. Unlike his usual fits of rage, I can see confusion…and vulnerability. He brushes my arm away and tries to stand for himself. "You. Are just like everyone else."
"What's that supposed to mean, Gaara?" I bite back. I don't care if he's the devil himself! He can't talk to me like that. "I'm just trying to unravel your little mystery that you've been hiding – ah!"
Gaara's face.
Gaara's face is in my cleavage.
"GAARA!" I jump back and he lands face flat on the ground. Oh…Duh, Ino. He can't stand. He just fell there.
"Arghh…" His hand crawls on the ground and pushes in attempt to support his body.
"Oh!" I rush to his side. After moments of consideration, I allow for his head to rest on my lap. Poor Gaara! He's staring up at me with a mixed expression of gratitude and embarrassment.
"I d-didn't mean…to fall…" he coughs, "On you there…"
"It's okay…" I ruffle his hair and study his slightly labored breathing. "Shouldn't you go back to the hospital to sleep?"
"I'm…afraid…"
"Of what?" I ask, astounded. What could scare Gaara?
"Of sleeping…"
It's an answer I don't quite expect. I take a minute to think. That didn't make any sense at all. How could someone be afraid of sleeping, especially when he's so tired? Does he have nightmares?
"Do you have bad dreams, Gaara?"
"NO!"
"Okay…" I've gotten used to his defensive reactions, but they still bother me. He can't just snap at my like I'm his enemy. He must be cranky when he gets tired.
"Just shut up and let me tell you, since you don't know any – "
"The correct thing to say is 'be quiet for a minute, please'," I interrupt because I can't help myself.
"Be quiet for a minute, please."
I nod (silently, of course).
From there on, the mood changes so drastically. He begins to speak and forces himself to remember things he has obviously kept closely guarded. He could never sleep because of the demon. He hasn't slept for years. The demon has been the source of his power and pain ever since he was born. Everyone he has ever met has hated him. Even his father…tried to kill him and so did everyone else. Even worse, the person he held dearest to his heart stabbed him in the back.
So that's how he got that tattoo…I didn't notice it then, but my eyes were already watering as I listened to every word.
Though tired, he speaks. The worst thing is that he doesn't shed a tear, nor does his voice betray any kind of emotion but exhaustion. How could he live like that? Constantly hunted, his meaning of life became a morbid one. Killing to survive and killing to feel alive. His burden was invisible to everyone else. They didn't care what he was feeling. To them he was a vicious, heartless tool. He was dangerous and better off dead.
I had no idea. Didn't I think of him that way…? Before I knew him, I was just like everyone else…Gaara scared me. He was that beast, but only because people made him that way. His voice was coarse as he continued. I've never heard him talk so much, but why did it have to be about something like this?
"…The taste….of blood…was the only thing that comforted me. Killing felt so good. Always wanted to…live…but I…" He cracks open an eye and looks directly at my tear-stained face. "You're crying…"
"A-And you're not?" I laugh incredulously, short and choppy. One of my hands flies to my face to wipe away the wetness. It lingers there to cover my face as I hiccup and sob.
"Told ya…I…used them up…" He means tears, of course. How can he speak so calmly about this? His lip twitches into the smallest smile - barely there at all.
"Gaara!" I choke and try to push down the swelling emotions inside me. How could someone do this to him? It was so so wrong. The hypocrisy of it all!
Suddenly, he yawns. Like a cat.
I can't resist the urge to laugh. "Oh, Gods…That's the cutest thing I've ever seen…"
"Shut up. I'm a homicidal….homicidi…al…mad…crazy guy. I'll cut you."
"Gaara!" I laugh some more.
"Oh…right. Be quiet for a minute, please…I'm a homicidal…" He trails off into sleepy mumbles.
"You have the most morbid sense of humor, you know that? N-Normally I wouldn't laugh if someone said they were gonna cut me..." Both of my hands rub at my eyes furiously. In darkness, I feel glad that I finally know his mystery, however tragic it may be. My laughter calms down and my entire face feels warm. "Hey, Gaara…"
He's fast asleep on my lap.
With his eyes closed, he looks too sweet and peaceful to have ever killed a person in all his life. He's still in my lap and I like him there. My hand brushes repetitively over his soft spiky hair and I remember how I once thought of him as my kitty.
How did I get here? Wishing I could stay with him like this forever?
Moonlight touches his skin and the cool air touches even his faint eyelashes. By the way, Gaara has eyelashes. Very fine, lovely ones. If there are beautiful stars out tonight, I don't notice because of him.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh……Thought you'd be here!"
I gasp and nearly have a heart attack when I hear the voice of someone that has snuck up on us. I turn and am even more stunned. "Hokage-sama!"
"Oi, Ino-chan! Gaara-kun…." She bows her head in acknowledgment of the sleeping Gaara on my lap and takes a seat on the bench.
I don't know what to say, but I feel very uncomfortable.
"I guess I should say something wise…" the big-breasted woman says bluntly. "Hmm?"
"Y-Yeah…?" I blink in response.
"I am the Godiame, afterall…" She brings her hand to her chin thoughtfully.
"U-Um…" Should I move?
"You know sometimes...when people...people...Hmm. Okay, forget that. I'll just tell you the truth! How about that?" She grins.
Is she drunk?
"That would be good…"
"Gaara ran into you before coming into the hospital, right?" she slurs slightly and I nod. "Kay…..well. Right after that, he got his last sealing jutsu! Ino-chan, you didn't pick the best of all times to run into him."
"W-Well! How is that my fault?" I defend myself, "He didn't tell me!"
"True…" The Hokage sighs. There is a long pause before she continues. "Well! Anyways…his thingy with the sealing went so well! I was very proud of the staff. Very proud. I should probably give them all raises!"
I stare.
"You know the first thing he did?" The blonde woman leans forward. "After the operation… He wanted to see YOU! Isn't that amazing? I'm sure he didn't know it 'coz he was still all druggie, but he called out for you and I was like 'waaaaah?' Now...I...see...why…."
She tosses me a wink.
"Hokage-sama…You're a little drunk."
"A-Am not! Why does everyone always say that!" She stood. "Someone oughtta teach you kids some respect…f-for your elders! Come'ere!"
"But…Gaara…" I can't just move him. On top of that, I had a feeling the Hokage wanted to do something weird.
"Oh right! We have to get the cute lil Kazekage back to his room!" she bounces over to us and lifts Gaara up like he was a rag doll.
"Kazekage?" I tilt my head in confusion. Gaara's not…
Tsunade turns and gazes at me sadly. "Didn't tell ya?"
"He didn't…"
So that's how it was. Gaara was "all better now," so he could finally serve as the Kazekage of the Sand. That was why he was here all along. He didn't come for flowers or for me. He just needed to control his demon to be fit to rule. I see.
The Hokage had left long ago. I'm sitting across from Gaara's bedside and watch how deeply he sleeps. I wonder if he is dreaming. After so many years, what would he dream about?
My eyes drift to the door. I feel like leaving just for an instant. He plans on leaving me anyway. He couldn't possibly stay in Konoha forever and his obligation here is fulfilled. Before I start to think it's not fair and break down into another fit of crying, I turn to watch him again.
I could never leave him. Even if he never says it, he needs me now more than ever. Why else would he tell me everything about himself?
Why?
My fists clench the material of my dress. I notice how dirty it has gotten. Did Gaara even see how good I looked in it?
I laugh softly and the room seems to fill up again. I lean closer to Gaara's bedside. "You know what, Gaara? I was just thinking about you…and I thought the stupidest thing…about my dress...you didn't..."
I stop talking. He can't hear me! I'm such an idiot!
Still, I crawl closer and I sit on his bed. His sleeping face is too hard to resist. "Gaara…? Or should I say…Kazekage?" I whisper his new title.
I think he looks terribly lonely sleeping by himself. I glance back around the room to check again if anyone is there. Outside the windows I see the glimmer of fireworks. Gaara is missing them.
My shoes hit the hard hospital floor with clanks and klonks. I pull back the sheet covering his body and slide into his bed. Presumptuous or not, I want to lie by his side! The fabric of my dress and the sheets sounds loudly in the room. From this close I can hear his breathing. My hand slides over his chest and feels the rise and fall of his chest.
The Hokage says that tomorrow you'll be gone. They need you as soon as possible. Seems like you have a new reason to live. Protecting your village is a good thing.
I wrap an arm around you and close my eyes.
THE END.
D'awwwwwww!
Wasn't that just a little bittersweet?
Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.