oh man i am sooooo so sorry! i like havnt updated in fo-evo! like...wait...ok so last time i updated was the 18th so ah... thats...thats... 24 days! i give you an A, thankyou lolz (woa i think i was just talking to myself but thats nothing new lolz.) ok so... i cam up with a plausible list of excuses para my tardyness, like i actually typed them up so here they are lolz:

ok i have been having slight...clears throat...social problems a mi esquela so yeah, that set me back a bit cause i can only write about what i want and i was wanting friends but skits doesnt wantfriends so there for i was having trouble cause yeah...but yeah...things sorted themselves out so its all good

ooooh i lost my mojo! missing mojo,very colorful those extremely morbid. may be armed with curses but do not fear it is harmless, if found return to countess von helfenstine. i guess someone did find it cause it had returned to me!

well i have more like schoolio work but yeah.

if anyone can guess all the song refrences in here i give them a zillion no...wait for a ca-zillion brownie point (aka points that have no real value but are filled with my undying love lolz) some are more obvious then other but yeah... if you know any it would make me uber happy lolz.

I left English my face burning red, as it had been the whole period.

I wanted to fucking cry my eyes out and was actually considering sneaking into the un-used teachers bathroom and doing just that. I wanted hurt on the outside and stop the emotional shame and ache. I wanted to let it all out, drain my worries through cuts on my arms.

What was I? I was a black wearing monster! Like some sort of creature from the wall, the one that Pink hides in before the concert, when he's half dead and all. Or the creature that the walls close in around, the one that doesn't notice when people scream at him. I'm that one; a freakish, nonchalant, oblivious, loser.

I didn't put my hood back on once I left Ms. Shoenfeld's room despite the countless amounts of stares I was getting from 9th graders and middle schoolers. I hadn't been able to build back up my black wall of passiveness and although every look my way stung like a razor, I let myself pine in freakish misery, too ashamed to pretend like I didn't care. My head pounded, my throat felt swollen and my heart… well it fucking got up and left a real long time.

I wanted to die.

I mosey-ed in misery down to the first floor where the gym was located and slipped into the boys locker room through the back door.

The only one who would notice my absence was cowboy but I knew he wouldn't tell anyone; he was a bastard but he wasn't a rat like spot.

So, I escaped into the locker room, planning to spend the hour and a half of gym finishing up a song I had started to write in English when I was trying to get my mind off of…ahem…certain issues. Of course, as I just said, my mind was thinking about other things, and upon opening to the page I had jotted said song down on, I realized it was complete shit.

Fucking pissed with life (not to sound emo), I kicked the lockers in front of me aggressively and listened as the sound rung out through the empty locker room.

Grabbing my fallen notebook, I took a deep inhale and exhale as my shrink had told me to when I felt particularly violent and depressed (who was he kidding, I was always depressed,) and began to write;

Frustration and aggression, noteworthy peer affronts,

Reminds me I haven't cried in months,

I just sit here, in my black, black world and decay,

Who would want to burn themselves when they can fade away?

Cowboy didn't try to talk to me in science though he did glance my way a couple times.

We were observing a sample of a salt marsh with our 'lab partners' but there were enough samples for the whole class so both him and I were able to go off into separate corners of the lab room without Mr. Chan fucking up our lab grades.

The period began smoothly and ended much the same. Once or twice I would look around the room, catching a few stares as I went, including cowboys. Becoming aggravated, I flicked him off around his 5th stare, fighting back a grin as he acknowledged the hand gesture.

Scowling, he bent his head towards his microscope once more though didn't look into lens. It looked a hell of a lot like he was pondering something hard, which made me chuckle for a second; cowboy thinking hard about anything was not something you see everyday. And for a moment I thought of teasing the hell out of him, though had to quickly check myself.

I couldn't talk to cowboy. If I did bad things would happen. I have no idea what other bad things could fucking happen after this week. I mean, I looked like the grim reaper turned punk, for one. I had just realized I was in hell and would be in hell for three more fucking years till I went to collage, where, for four years I would be in a less fucked up hell but hell all the same. Yes the future seamed bleak though despite my 'chemical in balance' it was hard to believe there was bad in the world I hadn't seen yet.

More bad things could always happen, I wasn't that fucked up, but at the time, I was sure I could survive anything that came my way. Well not survive but deal with. Anyway, I knew I could deal with anything.

I mean my greatest fear was people and I had survived around people for 15 years!

But… if I did talk to cowboy, not only would I be in fucking agony for the entirety of the conversation, but the irreversible might also become reversed. Things might go back to how they were before. Maybe we would settle our problems and I would be stuck in the same damn social situation I had been in through out 9th and 10th grade; in fucking hell anytime one of my supposed friends tried to talk to me. Maybe I would implode from the curses he would deal out if I talked to him. Maybe he would take up calling me unsocial Skittery, I don't know. But I sure as hell did know I didn't want things to go back to the way they were, cause no matter how much fucking pain I was in, my mind wasn't so contorted that I couldn't remember how it used to be.

By the end of the class, after much contemplating, I held all faith in this 'prophecy' I had just sub-consciously come up with. The only way things could get worse was if I talked to cowboy. It was that simple.

As simple as this prophecy was, it was also incredibly and sadly wrong.

The clock struck 10:50 and Mr. Chan hustled us out of the lab, grabbing our labs sheets from us as we left.

Outside the classroom I pulled my hood over my head, until my eyes were only two round shadows. I knew this wouldn't stop spot or blink or any of them other fuckers from recognizing me but as I said before, my black veil had fallen; I needed physical black to hide myself away.

During gym I had thinking about how my lunch would go, finally deciding I would run downstairs with my bag and try to escape the lunchtime social scene while everyone else was still upstairs at his or her lockers. (Already I had a head start; the first day of school we had convinced Mr. Chan lunch let out at 10:50 instead of 11:00. No one told him other wise, so every Monday and Wednesday we got out 10 minutes before all the other classes.) And so, with the courtyard completely empty, I would walk to the star bucks where I had met Sheena that morning and read for the remainder of my free 45 minutes.

I knew Sheena wouldn't be there (she probably had school) but I dunno, for some reason I thought, maybe… she would show up, maybe she wasn't in school, maybe I would be able to talk to someone who didn't know anything about my past or my school life. Sorry, I'm just a fucking naïve little child, but still… despite my antisocialness… I kinda wanted to talk to someone who didn't know me and wasn't what the French call a fucking poser.

But, as I have foreshadowed above, things didn't go right at all. In fact my perfect peaceful lunch started and turned out to be incredibly shitty.

Dashing downstairs and into the courtyard I realized not only that I was too late and that half the school was already in outside, but that that half of the school happened to include spot and blink.

Without realizing it I tugged my hood farther over my head, hoping desperately they wouldn't see me and if they did see me, I wouldn't realize they had spotted me and do something incredibly stupid like run away.

I guess the Athien rulers decided they wouldn't murder me completely in that one lunch period, cause spot and blink kept on bitching and cursing like karma was just a word john Lennon had made up.

Breathing a sigh of relief I rounded the corner heading towards the star bucks I had met Sheena in only that morning.

Thinking I was home free I stupidly let down my guard (literally) and allowed my hood to slide back a bit on my head revealing my previously shadowed eyes and black roots. Well, smart motherfucker I was, for only seconds later I felt a hand reaching up and grabbing my hood, my veil, my protector, and yanking it down.

Suddenly black hair flooded my face once more.

I turned around calmly -though my insides could be described as anything but calm- to find blink's twin sis Margaret and her two henchwoman, Corrina and Prudence (hah! poor, poor child), giggling hysterically.

"Oh Skittery! Your hair!"

I shoved the hood back over my head, glaring at the lot of them.

"Well…it looks…ahem…good" Margaret could hardly contain herself as the words sputtered from her mouth "…I guess." Another seize of laughter took over her and she was held mute by glee.

Prudence (the one with the god awful name) stared at me sympathetically. I had gone out with her for a week sometime last year and it hadn't been a great trip, I can say that much.

Margaret attempted to speak again but was held captive by something I hardly saw as funny.

"No really, it looks…ahem…hott Skittery…it's just a new…um look." More giggles from Corrina.

You know I really didn't find anything funny about that situation. I mean, it could have been my hate for Margaret that was preventing me from laughing along. Or it could have been the fact that I hadn't laughed in months let alone smiled. Or it could have been they were all fucking posers like every other goddamn girl in this fucking school. I dunno, pick your choice, I still believe its all three.

While they had their laugh I tried to decide which twin was worse, blink or Margaret.

Margaret was the fucking biggest poser out there, I'm so serious. Like I know I say that about a lot of people but Margaret was literally a poser. And I know word for word how her poser-ness came about on account of blink complaining to us all how she was fucked up interms of style.

See, he had stubbornly tried to 'fix' her as he had put it, starting from the bottom, at the roots of our existence, what kept any punk rocker alive; drugs and rock and roll. Margaret refused drugs (after all that's what had gotten blink so screwed up) but was eager to 'fix' her taste in music.

Now, I believe that was the beginning of Margaret's poser-ness. You cant fucking 'fix' your taste in music! You're born that way, that's it and if you're born with shitty taste then suck it up soldier cause obviously that's what the Athien rulers want or else you would be different. It's that simple. There is no fixing.

So anyway, blink, despite both my and jack's arguments, began to preach to her the ways of the Beatles, slowly moving up to the Rolling Stones and then the Who, Zeppelin and so forth.

They got to Rod Stewart and what do you know, Margaret wants to be called Maggie May, which fucking pleased blink even more then crack!

Man was he naïve.

But, sure enough once they reached Janis Joplin's Big Brother days and Jethro Tull, 'Maggie may' (and I use that name with as much distain as fucking possible) called it quits and decided that she would wear punk rock but not be punk rock.

And thus… Maggie May was an actual, real live poser.

I had made out with her once two years ago, another one of blink's schemes to fix the bad egg his parents had birthed. It didn't work. I ended up with the disgusting taste of poser in my mouth (yes they do have a taste) and Maggie ended up with a mighty crush on yours truly. One more reason to hate blink.

Deciding that the twins were about equal in every way, I tuned back into their laughter.

"Are you guys done?" I asked impatiently, jamming the hood back over my head.

Prudence nodded her head shyly "sorry, skits. As Maggie said…its only change; cha, cha, cha, changes, faces change, cha, cha, changes."

Now I remember why I had gone out with her; she had a killer taste in music. She had always been a quiet one though, I thought pleasantly, suddenly wondering why she was hanging out with the other two fuckers to my left.

"Nah, it's ok." I muttered dryly, staring at the ground, hoping they would leave me alone if they realized I didn't want to talk (hah! I never wanted to talk).

But no sir'y, they had to pick yet another scab of mine, just to top off a perfect 10 minutes of a perfect day.

"So, why are you all alone, Mr. gloomy face? Unsocial Skittery not feeling very social?"

Even with my head bent I knew it was Maggie talking.

She had tried countless amounts of times to get into our 'group', first by using her twin-y connection, then making out with me, then cowboy. This year she was in Rita's homeroom so naturally she had tried to befriend her. Now Rita is a friendly girl but most friendly girls are bitches as well. Usually the quieter less obtrusive ones are the ones I can stand to be with, such as Kayla. So anyway, Maggie unfortunately began to take after Rita, which included calling me unsocial skits. Within a month Rita grew tired of Maggie as any partially sane person would, but Maggie being an extreme poser was not so happy to drop a 'cool' friend. So although Rita has probably forgotten her name, Maggie still uses 'unsocial Skittery' to make herself feel like she had a special connection with the almighty Rita.

Yes I do realize I know a lot about Maggie and yes I realize that for a poser she has a lot going on but I would like to remind you that posers and flakes are two separate things. Flakes have absolutely nothing under the surface while posers have a phony surface but complex roots. Kinda like icebergs, the parts submerged in water are much prettier then the parts out of water. I dunno, I was watching discovery channel and after I wrote a song about ice burgs and posers.

"I'm in a fight with my friends." I lied through clenched teeth, feeling the sympathy in prudence's eyes grow stronger with each word I said.

By then I was sure as hell she still had something for me just how I knew tonight she would go home and write a story all about my tragic existence. Either that or a million songs explaining how I was misunderstood. For not remembering anything about our relationship, I sure knew how the girl worked pretty well.

"You can come with us if you want?" Corrina blurted out as if she had Tourettes or something and could not hold back the words.

Truly I had never talked to Corrina in my life. She wasn't a poser just overwhelmingly weird. It looked as if one day she decided to be geeky, to stand out and be different then the crowd and had just got carried away to the point of no return. And as I was thinking these exact thoughts she started to randomly do a chicken dance as if to say 'we're cool! Look we're so cool we can do a chicken dance and not look like a dork.' Sorry Urcle, you could just be the biggest fucking weirdo I have ever seen and that's not a good thing.

So, I had damn hard decision to make. Go to lunch with super-poser, Ms. Chicken dance and the quiet one with good taste in music or go to star bucks and have a nice quiet 45 minutes alone with The Bell Jar and my one true love Janis Joplin.

Fuck chicken girl, Janis Joplin's my main woman.

"Uh…I'm meeting someone at starbucks." I lied yet again, desperately hoping they would fuck off at this remark.

Maggie snorted and flipped her black hair expertly out of her face, which made me wonder how long she stood in the mirror and practiced flipping her hair. I know she does that cause I've walked in on her standing their waving her fucking head back and forth to get her hair over her shoulder. Fucking poser.

"Hah, no you don't." She stated, looking at her own reflection in a passing bus.

I swear blink fucked this girl up. I rather she be a full-fledged prep then this monster she is now! What kinda punk looks at their reflection in the window of a bus!

"You're right, but now that I've majorly hinted I don't want to go to lunch with you, fuck off, ok?"

I started walk away again though thing 1 and thing 2 were right at my heals.

I could hear the quiet one telling the other girls to shove off and leave me alone and I silently thanked her, once again remembering why I had gone out with her; I had been a minor for a heart of gold and well, her heart was a full 24carrots.

"Awww unsocial Skits really is unsocial." Maggie cooed, that fake meant-to-be-prep smile plastered upon her fucking ugly face with its smeared eye shadow and eyeliner running every which way. Man if she would just wipe off all that shit she would look half descent. And with blonde hair like her bro she would even be able to pull off a perfect Joni Mitchell, no sweat.

But as I have said before, born prep, turned poser.

"Pretty skits ain't got no friends till the, pretty Kayla comes around again." Corrina sung, her voice actually not too shabby.

For a second I wondered how she knew that song; she didn't strike me as a dead head at all. And then I remembered, she and mush had been best friends in 6th grade, before our 'tribe' had come about.

Suddenly Corrina went up 2 points in my grade book, leaving her at a three. I give you a D-, Corrina. Keep up the good work and you could be seeing a D+ sometime in the near future.

"Yeah, whatever." I mumbled, my head still down, looking at my feet running away from the gruesome twosome.

It looked as if prudence wanted no part in the brawl between her supposed friends and her ex, for she took her Walkman out of her purse and began to tune out the dispute.

Even though I didn't despise her and she wasn't causing any problems, her absence or lack of interest did mean 1 down 2 to go.

"Aww well skits, if you really are upset about your friends leaving you,"

At these words I glared up at Maggie though she went right on talking,

"Then you can just say your sorry and make all the boo boos go away," she mocked, before falling into yet another fit of giggles.

"C'mon Maggie, just fuck off, please!" I wined, hoping a less numb attitude would win me favor.

No such luck.

"Oh no, your coming with us." Corrina said as if it were one of the Ten Commandments.

"Oh no, I'm not!" I retorted in the same tone she had used, my feet picking up speed.

"You know you want to, c'mon unsocial Skittery."

Maggie began to drag on my arm in the direction of Paradise Café where all yuppies and posers hung out. Out of the corner of my eye I saw prudence roll her eyes; so she could hear us after all.

"No, I'm pretty sure I don't want. I dunno, but a little voice in my head keeps saying 'don't go with the blood sucking posers. They'll hypnotize you and convert you to their evil chicken dancing ways'"

Behind me prudence chuckled and I had to suppress a smile.

But unfortunately, to Corrina and Maggie it was like I hadn't even opened my mouth.

"We're going to give you social lessons, unsocial Skittery!"

"C'mon you guys sod off and leave the poor guy alone; the damage done already!" the quiet one said hotheadedly, turning off her Walkman.

'Nice Neil Young quote' I though sheepishly, wondering why our relationship hadn't lasted longer with an appreciation for music like the one she housed.

"Well, there you have it, the god has spoken and the god says to let the POW free and to call off all tortures scheduled for this lunch period." I said finally taking my eyes off the ground and looking around pleasantly at the mortified Maggie and Corrina.

Prudence shrugged, Quoting once more, "'I heard screaming and bullwhips cracking' and don't worry, they tried to convert me too"

Man when that girl spoke, she damn well knew what she was talking about!

She ended her sentence so that only I could hear her words which was probably a good thing too cause Maggie looked pissed,

"Oh your no fun, Pru! Well fine then unsocial Skittery, see you around."

I nodded my head nonchalantly and kept walking, saluting prudence before turning the corner and disappearing from sight.

wow that was a long one... phew! cant garentee when the next one will be up but im not giving up on this no matter how long it takes.

oh credit to conrad for "what the french call fucking posers" line, yeah...lolz.

i'm soooooo sorry madamebutterfly for fucking up your charachter and you are aloud to flame me as much as you want and you can hate me for all eternity but you have to remeber this is in the scitzofrenic skittery's point of veiw so it has nothing to do with your character in fact i based her personality off peeps in my school. but your character idea helped me majorly so yeah... my pitiful soul is at your mercy, you have my loyal countess apologies.

i comand you toREVEIW (unless your madamebutterfly and then you can do anything you want cause she is the coolest person ever and im so sorry about fucking up your character!)