-curled up in the fetal position crying- SHEIK! Wahhhhh!

Sheik: -kneels down and prods IS- What's wrong with her?

Link: She just found out that you are really Zelda.

Zelda: -sheds her disguise- Oh really? I suppose that's a good thing then.

Link: I still wish you were Sheik. He was hawt. –squeals like a fangirl-

Zelda: You're…you're gay?

Link: Yeah…I thought you knew.

Zelda: Oh. –runs off crying-

Link: Zelda?

-sits up- I felt a woman-whose-love-turns-out-to-be-gay's pain! I am revived!

Link: That was mean.

Fine. While you do the disclaimer, I'll go comfort her.

Link: IS doesn't own Zelda, Sheik, me, or anything mentioned within that is from Zelda:OoT. She does own the N64, her copy of OoT and herself.

-pokes head from around a corner- Thanks hon. I'm reminding Zelda of all the fun that she could have with a gay male friend.

A Fangirl's Lament

One day as I was sitting there,

Playing Zelda without a care.

Skulltulla were nowhere around,

Nor where there Heart Pieces to be found.

I turned off the N64, and stomped out of the room,

Ignorant to my impending doom.

Skipping back gleefully, my prey to kill,

For an instant, my heart stood still.

Something was wrong, I could feel it in the air.

Suddenly it dawned on me; it wasn't fair!

Zelda was in the Temple of Time, waiting for Link,

Link was me, that obvious I would think.

So anyway, Zelda was there,

Waiting with her perfect hair

Bound up in her disguise as Sheik.

I let out an unholy shriek.

No! Not yet, I'm not ready for this!

I gave my darling Sheik one last kiss,

And waited for Zelda to finish her tale.

When she finally finished, I screamed up a gale.

My darling Sheik is not real!

Only a fellow fangirl/fanboy knows how I feel.

So that is my tale of depression,

And if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my therapy session. (1)

-sobbing on Zelda's shoulder- Why did you have to shatter my dreams!

Zelda: -patting IS on the back comfortingly- I'm sorry. If it helps any, I'll dress up as Sheik for you.

-shakes head- No, I'd try and make out with you. And I think Link may too. But you can…-whispers in Zelda's ear-

Zelda- Ooo! That's a great idea! So twisted, so evil, yet so fun!

Isn't it? Go do it!

Zelda: -drags Link off-

(in the distance) Link: Where are we going?

Zelda: We're going xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

Link: NOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THERE! ANYWHERE BUT THERE!

While Link discovers just how much fun Zelda and my idea is, I have a few things to say. Firstly, this was written for pure amusement. I was curled up in the fetal position after Sheik was revealed as Zelda and needed some low fat cheering up.

Second, the only way to figure out where Zelda is taking Sheik is to review. The x's will show nothing as I just put some random ones there.

Third, I know the rhyme is a little forced in some places- cut a fangirl a break. I'm in mourning and this is my first fan-poem.

Fourth: (1) I'm not really in any therapy sessions- I wasn't serious. Session happens to rhyme well with depression and it makes some slight sense.