Disclaimer: - I do not own any of the characters in this chapter I just borrow them for my little fics.

Author's Notes: - Words in Bold Italics are dream sequences and words in Italics are character's thoughts. I also have written Mickey with his Essex accent so when words like "fing," "fink." " 'er" appear they aren't misspelled its just the way Mickey speaks.

Chapter 3

As he awoke the young, blonde-haired man found himself with another person's hands pinning him down to his own bed. He looked up to see who the hands belonged to and found an older man on top of him. The young, blonde-haired man's heart skipped a beat when he realised whom the older person was.

'No!' he screamed in panic, 'Get away from me!'

The older man began running his fingers through his young companion's hair. The young man tried to pull away but he was instantly held down by the older man's hands around his throat, almost choking him.

'Oh why are you trying to resist me, DC Webb?' said the older man in his soft Scottish drawl. 'I know you want me. I want you.'

'No! I don't want you,' cried back the young man, 'I want Mia! She's the one I love; the one I want to have touching me not you.'

The older man laughed mockingly. 'Mia doesn't want you. You've been used. You're dirty. Mia's too classy a lady to want to have anything to do with a male whore like you but I want you, Mickey, I want to take you like I did in the warehouse, remember? I think you're pretty. So pretty and so young who wouldn't want to take you but your mine all mine!'

'I'm not yours, I'll never be yours! If I belong to anyone its Mia she loves me and I love 'er!'

'I've already told you, Mickey, Mia doesn't want you not after the Steph incident and your little letter? You think that's gonna help ye? Mia's going read that and be so disgusted to know her boyfriend, the big, strong, fit policeman couldn't stop another man from over-powering him and taking his body. You're a dirty little scumbag who couldn't stop me from taking you.'

Then the older man kissed his captive on the lips over and over while the young man struggled to get free.

Mickey awoke with tears streaming down his face and his body shaking. At first his mind didn't register that he had been having a dream and his throat tightened as he imagined Delaney's hands around his throat. When he realised that it was a dream and that his bloody rapist wasn't actually in the room with him he laid back on the bed. It was then that he realised that it was Sunday. That meant it would have been a day since Mia received his letter and she was bound to have read it and have time to think about what it all meant by now. His stomach churned sickly at the thought of Mia reading it and knowing about him; knowing what he was; what he hadn't been able to stop. His mind raced back to what Delaney had said in his dream:

'Mia doesn't want you. You've been used. You're dirty.' 'Mia's going to be disgusted to know her boyfriend, the big, strong, fit policeman couldn't stop another man from over-powering him and taking his body. You're a dirty little scumbag who couldn't keep his stop me from taking you.'

It may have only been a dream but its true, innit? Mia's going to be even more disgusted with me now than she was over the Steph fing and who wouldn't be, knowing what Delaney did to me? I suppose the best fing to do would be just to avoid 'er as much as possible.

So that's what DC Mickey Webb decided to do as he got ready for work that morning: to avoid Mia Perry as much as possible. After all it's a big nick how hard can it be too do?

Mia Perry awoke before the alarm clock on Sunday morning. Even the resident male blackbird, who sat on the television aerial of Mia's house, wasn't up singing his morning song yet.

Not that being up this early bothered Mia today as she hadn't been able to sleep much anyway, thinking about how she was going to confront Mickey over the truth about his past. Mia had spent most of the night wondering how a person confronted another about something as serious as being the victim of a rape until she realised she was going round in circles and that she'd best stop thinking about it and get some sleep before the dawn broke.

By the time Mia arrived at Sun Hill station, parked her car, made her way into the reception and up to CID she still hadn't thought of away to bring up Mickey's rape in a conversation with the young DC.

Mia felt a little guilty about the feeling of relief she felt when she entered the CID office to find Mickey's desk empty. At least it gave her more time to think about how to confront the issue. She knew Mickey had a lot of pride and dignity and she didn't want to go about destroying that by dragging all the bad memories up for him, making him feel dirty and used. If only there was someone she could confide in about all of this. Someone who Mickey was close to and you knew what had happened between Mickey and Delaney but who? Mia's thoughts were interrupted, when suddenly; the DCI's office door swung open and she heard him call:

'Phil, Zain! My office now!'

Of course: the DCI. He and Mickey have a very close friendship therefore if anyone knows what's gone on between Mickey and Delaney and how I should confront the issue with Mickey it's him.

Feeling much better now that she knew there was someone who could help with confronting the issue Mia made her way out of the office. As she made her way down the corridor she passed Mickey on the stairs.

'Ah!' she began, softly, 'I was wondering when you were going to show up today.'

'I thought you wouldn't 'ave wanted to speak to me after the Steph fing.'

'Well I've forgiven you,' she admitted, 'so don't I at least get a good morning kiss for that?'

'Yeah, sorry,'

He leaned in closer and kissed her softly on the lips but Mia couldn't help notice his tension and discomfort as he did so.

'Anyway best get on,' said Mickey, suddenly.

With that he continued on up the stairs and into the CID office.

When Mickey arrived for work that morning the first person's car he saw in the staff car park of Sun Hill station was Mia's

Oh shit maybe this whole avoiding Mia fing is going to be harder than I thought.

His prediction proved to be accurate when as soon as he made his way up the stairs to the CID office he passed Mia on the stairs.

Well that's got off to a great start, 'asn't it?

'Ah!' he hear her say, 'I was wondering when you were going to show up today.'

'I thought you wouldn't 'ave wanted to speak to me after the Steph fing.' Well at least I'm being honest.

'Well I've forgiven you,' she admitted. Good. Oh no wait that means she's got my letter and read it she knows about me and Delaney, about what that bastard did to me.

'-so don't I at least get a good morning kiss for that?' I can't kiss her not with her knowing what I am but I have to kiss her otherwise she'll get suspicious if I don't and I can't handle that right now.

'Yeah, sorry,'

He leaned in closer and kissed her softly on the lips. God I hope she didn't notice either my tension or discomfort there.

'Anyway best get on,' said Mickey, suddenly. I know its bad but I just can't be near 'er now not with 'er knowing.

It was not until about 3 in the afternoon that Mia finally got her chance to speak to Jack Meadows about how to confront Mickey over the rape issue.

Mia knocked suddenly upon the DCI's office door.

'Come,' cried the DCI in his Yorkshire accent.

Jack was quite surprised when it was Mia who entered his office.

'Mia? Is everything alright?'

'Well I was wondering if I could have a word with you,' began Mia, 'about Mickey.'

'Mickey?'

'Yes.'

'Very well then.'

'Well,' began Mia unsure of how to begin, 'I received a letter from Mickey yesterday in which he told me about what had happened in his past. He told me all about Martin Delaney, Jack, and how he'd been raped by Delaney.'

'Ah. Well I probably had something to do with that,' admitted Jack.

'You?' Now it was Mia's turn to be surprised.

'Yes. Mickey confided in me after the journalist re-surfaced his memories of Delaney just when he believed things were going right between you and him. He knew he was pushing you to the limit but he didn't know what to do so I tried convincing him to tell you the truth about his attack.'

'Ah. That explains a lot.'

'It does?' said Jack confused.

'Twice before he sent the letter he tired to explain to me what had happened but the words must have proved too hard for him to say because he bottled out both times. Taken that into account I just don't know how to bring the issue up with him, Jack, reading the letter it became obvious that, even after all this time, he still feels humiliated and ashamed by what happened which is understandable.'

'Yes,' agreed Jack. 'I think he does still feel humiliated and ashamed plus he told Liz about his rape and then she went and betrayed him maybe he feels if he tells you about it you'll do the same.'

'Ah but I wouldn't hurt him like she did. I want him to know that I love him and that I'm going to support him with this.'

'Perhaps things would be easier if I had a word with him first?' suggested Jack.

Mia agreed after all Mickey trusted Jack and so Jack reassured her that he'd have a word with Mickey as soon as he returned from his refs.

True to his word Jack summoned Mickey into his office as soon as the young DC returned from his refs.

'Gov is everyfing alright?' asked the young man.

'Mia came to see me today,' began Jack getting straight to the point, 'she got your letter.'

Mickey looked down suddenly feeling horribly, horribly ashamed.

'She's not ashamed of you, you know, Mickey. She loves you and she wants to support you now she knows what happened between you and Delaney.'

'Yeah,' muttered Mickey without once looking at Jack.

Jack didn't like the young man's negative tone.

'Its true, Mickey,' he pleaded, 'look just go and have a word with her you might be pleasantly surprised, please.'

'Ok but only 'cause it's you what's telling me too. I wouldn't do it if it was anyone else telling me to, you know.'

Jack couldn't help smiling at that as Mickey left the office.

'Mia,' called out Mickey as he saw her descending the stairs outside of the CID office.

The Press Officer turned round to see Mickey behind her.

'Mickey, you ok?' asked Mia concerned.

'Yeah…its just Jack's had a word with me and hold me you'd been to see him and explained how you'd got the letter and that you ain't ashamed and everyfing and I fink maybe we should talk.'

'Ok,' said Mia. Finally.

'I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you this stuff, Mia, it's just that it was too hard for me to say even though I did try to those times-'

'Its ok,' Mia interrupted, 'I understand now.'

'I know I just didn't want you to fink of me as summick dirty.'

Mia touched his arm with affection and concern but Mickey was caught off guard and so he flinched from her touch.

'Sorry,' said Mia as she pulled back.

And it was worse than before, worse than Jack and half the relief knowing, because now Mia, the women whom Mickey thought was special; even more so than Liz had been before she'd betrayed him, knew why he'd flinched.

And that was just too much for him to handle.

So he fled.

Down the stairs and through the doors and out into the yard with Mia calling his name behind him.

When Mickey got out into the yard he sat upon the little brick wall that ran along the side the building and covered his head with his hands as the tears trickled down his face.

'Here,' Mickey suddenly heard a Yorkshire accented voice say.

Mickey lifted his head to see Jack Meadows sanding above him. In his hand was a tissue which he held out, offering it to Mickey.

'Fanks,' muttered Mickey.

'What happened?' asked Jack, suddenly.

'Wot do you mean?' snapped Mickey, defensively.

'Well I was watching you from the CID office window, just making sure you were ok,' admitted Jack, 'and one minute you're talking with Mia and the next you're running for it like your life was in danger.'

Mickey stared down at the ground inspecting the cracks in the pavement; anything to stall having to explain to Jack what had happened.

'Mickey,' persisted Jack.

When Jack spoke in that tone of voice Mickey knew there was no avoiding giving his DCI an explanation.

'It was going well with Mia when she touched my arm. She caught me off guard, Jack, and I thought it was 'im gonna hurt me again-' he broke down into tears again. 'Oh Jack, am I going to be like this for the rest of my life? I just wanna be normal again, not 'ave to worry about where 'e is of 'e's gonna come and find me and do that to me again. You'd fink after three years I'd 'ave gotten over this.'

Jack sat down beside Mickey and then rapped his arms around the sobbing young man.

'It's ok he's back inside, remember, you help but him back there. You're safe here, you're safe.'

Mickey made no reply as he curled into the comfort Jack offered him, his head resting against the DCI's chest and his hands clutching to Jack's shirt and all Jack would do was hold him.