Left alone in the living room, Steve and Tanis looked at each other awkwardly. They'd been sitting across from each other, silently drinking coffee for the past 30 minutes. Jesse had left an hour ago, with the excuse of an early shift in the morning. Mark, perceptive as ever, had taken himself off to bed with a book, leaving the two of them in glorious isolation. Seizing the chance to be alone with Tanis, Steve had offered her more coffee and she'd accepted.
Both had been wanting to talk all night, but now that the opportunity had finally presented itself, it seemed that neither had anything to say. Mark's antique clock ticked relentlessly behind Steve's right ear. It was the only sound aside from the incessant beating of the rain on the window panes. It was funny, Steve thought, how usually such noises went unnoticed, but tonight they were almost deafening in the silence.
Fiddling with her empty coffee cup, Tanis looked down at her lap and let out a breath 'Well' she said, just as Steve said 'More coffee?'
They both stopped and Steve cleared his throat 'Sorry' he said 'you were gonna say something?'
She shrugged 'Not really' she said gruffly. Then she took another deep breath and decided it was time to be honest 'I guess I just couldn't take the silence any longer'. She looked at him and quickly looked away 'What with the drumming of the rain and the lack of conversation, it's kinda like Chinese water torture in here'.
'I'm sorry' Steve said caustically 'I didn't realise my company was quite so painful'.
'Oh come on Steve' Tanis snapped, her pent up feelings finally getting the better of her 'You know exactly what I'm talking about. We haven't spoken for days.'
'We've spoken' he said quietly.
'We haven't spoken since you found out that I'd been to see Ross Cainen'.
There, she'd said it. That was it; that was the huge great obstacle that had driven a wedge between them, blitzed their usual good-natured banter and maybe, just maybe pushed him into the arms of another woman.
Tanis swallowed hard, and looked pointedly at the wall behind Steve, watching the hands of the antique clock tick off the seconds. She didn't even wanna think about that last one, but the image of Steve's face, as he'd watched Dr. Amanda Bentley struggle with the front door, was one now burned into her psyche. Perhaps nothing was going on, yet, but she knew men and when things were going wrong in one relationship, it was all too easy for them to look for another. And Steve wouldn't have to look very far.
Amanda Bentley was beautiful and smart; she was also patient, caring, nurturing and a mother. Tanis sighed; she knew Amanda could be perfect for Steve, certainly better than some ambitious cop who continually risked her life getting information from hoodlums and killers. Steve was an old fashioned guy and although he might not know it, when it came down to it, what he really wanted was the caring wife, the 2.4 children and the white picket fence. Tanis had worked that out pretty quick, surely it was only a matter of time before he worked it out himself. If it wasn't Amanda Bentley then it'd be someone else just like her.
Tanis bit her lip. Maybe she should just step aside right now before she got hurt? She'd been hurt too many times before, let down by guys who suddenly decided that perhaps they didn't want a cop for a wife after all. She sure didn't need to go down that road again. She looked at Steve. His elbows were propped up on his knees and his head was in his hands. She wondered what was going through his mind.
Steve had put his head in his hands to block out his surroundings. He needed time to think. Despite what he'd said to his father earlier in the evening, he wasn't ready for this conversation just yet. They were never going to agree about the Task Force, so how could they discuss it? His father had advised him to compromise, but he wasn't sure that he could. Even now, the thought of Tanis going in alone to Ross Cainen's mob infested condo, made his stomach twist with fear.
In his more self-reflective moments, Steve knew that his biggest worry was that the more that he and Tanis explored their differences about the Task Force, the more their fundamental differences as people would be brought to the surface. Sure he was a cop, but he didn't do it for danger. He was starting to think that maybe she did. He looked up and caught Tanis watching him, her grey-blue eyes apprehensive. He took a deep breath 'I'm sorry' he said simply.
'For what?' she asked.
'This, us' he said 'This isn't how I wanted things to go'.
'Me either' she said softly.
'Stay with me' he said suddenly, his voice urgent.
'What?' she was confused.
'Tonight' he said 'It can be just you and me. We can forget about the case, the Task Force, Cainen. Pretend that just for tonight none of it exists'. He knew he was being a coward, but for once he didn't care.
'Steve, I don't know' she said, her voice hesitant.
'Please' he insisted, reaching forward and gripping her hand 'Let's just have tonight and then tomorrow we'll talk'.
Tanis sighed, it would be so very easy to say yes, to lose herself in Steve's arms. But she knew that tomorrow nothing would have changed. Sex, no matter how much she wanted it to be, was not the answer.
She bit her lip 'I can't Steve, I'm sorry, not tonight'.
Quickly standing, she grabbed her purse and turned away, unable to look at the hurt expression on his face.
'So is that it?' he asked angrily 'Are we finished?'
She turned and looked at him 'I think that's up to you' she said quietly.
'Me?' Steve said incredulously.
'If you can't accept that I'm a cop and I have a job to do then yeah, I guess we're finished' she said sadly.
'I can accept you're a cop' he shot back at her 'It's the crazy risks you take that I can't accept'.
'So we're back to Cainen again?' she said
'Yeah we're back to Cainen' he said bitterly. 'Didn't you listen to a word my father said tonight?'
Tanis laughed, but there was no humour in it 'C'mon Steve, your father gets some crazy idea from a crossword puzzle and right away you're ready to convict a fellow officer. Ross Cainen is a good cop Steve'.
Steve sighed 'I'm not saying Cainen is guilty; just that he has to be a suspect. You know my father's track record, you know how he sees things the rest of us can't see'.
'Yes but that doesn't mean he's always right.' Tanis said. She shook her head worriedly 'You haven't seen Cainen. I mean really seen' she said, noticing Steve was about to protest. 'He's a good guy Steve, he's sacrificing everything for the Task Force. He wants out, but he's staying for the sake of the team'. She let out a breath 'I don't know how he does what he does'.
Steve shrugged; careful not to aggravate his injured side 'May be he likes it' he said stubbornly 'flash suits, flash cars, all that power? Cops have been corrupted before; believe me I know. Maybe the vulnerability is just an act for your benefit. Maybe he's playing you'.
Tanis turned and sat back down, next to him this time. She placed a hand on his arm, her eyes urging him to understand 'He's straight Steve' she said 'I can feel it'. She sighed 'Cainen has given up his life, his identity and he hates it. But if it wasn't for guys like him, putting themselves on the line, we wouldn't have made half the arrests we made last year and you know it. That's why the Task Force is so vital, so necessary. Why can't you accept that?'
Steve shifted away from her, effectively blocking her appeal. 'There are other ways' he said 'like good old fashioned leg work'.
Tanis rolled her eyes 'And you know as well as I do how time consuming that is'.
'At least it's legit' Steve said gruffly.
'And your point is?' she said quietly, looking at him intently now.
Steve let out a breath, but didn't meet her gaze. With his left hand he began pulling at the frayed edge of the scatter cushion by his side.
Tanis placed her hand on top of his; effectively stopping the movement 'Well' she prompted her voice tight.
'Look Tanis' he said finally 'You know as well as I do, that not everything that goes on within the task force is legal.'
'And that's a problem because ….?'
'Because' Steve said incredulously, suddenly looking her fully in the face 'when men like Cainen are given carte blanche to live the mob life style and everything that goes along with it lines get crossed'.
He looked at her, his blue eyes serious 'You didn't even know Cainen was a cop until we pulled him in that time, forced the Chief to play his hand. You'd been working together on the Task Force all those years and you knew nothing about it. Even now you don't know what he does, what he really does'.
'It doesn't matter what I know or don't know' Tanis said indignantly 'Ross Cainen is acting on the Chief's orders at all times, just like I am'.
'Okay, say that he is – and I'm still not sure that's true, how well do you really know the Chief?' Steve asked 'How often does he turn a blind eye, bend the rules to suit his own agenda?'
'And what about me?' Tanis demanded, her eyes flashing dangerously.
'Whaddya mean?' Steve said in confusion.
'Aren't you going to accuse me of crossing that line? Aren't I part of the conspiracy too? After all I'm a part of the Task Force as well'.
By now she'd gotten up from the sofa again and was pacing angrily like a caged tiger.
'I know you wouldn't knowingly do anything against the law'.
'Do you?' she said, her voice rising an octave 'Well that's real big of you Steve, thanks'.
'Look' he said leaning forward in his seat and grabbing her arm to stop her pacing 'I'm not trying to pick a fight with you alright, I'm just worried that you're getting too involved with Cainen. We don't know him; we have no idea what he's capable of'.
He was talking faster now, his enthusiasm to convince her sending adrenaline coursing through his system 'Maybe he's been living the lie so long that he can't tell the difference between fiction and reality anymore. Maybe he'd started to believe in that power and then he felt threatened. Maybe he wanted to ensure that he kept his place in the mob hierarchy by bumping off some of his rivals before they could finish him.
'Oh come on' Tanis said scornfully, punching a hole straight through Steve's newly created scenario 'The MO doesn't fit. 'Why bomb his own joint?'
He looked at her and shrugged, unwilling to be dissuaded so easily 'To put us off the scent, before he makes his real move? Bombing his own club makes him look like a target and puts Tandy right in the frame. Cainen can then go ahead and do whatever he wants, figuring we'll fit Tandy up for it'. Steve shrugged 'You heard Tandy, word on the street is that someone's been recruiting, how do we know it's not Cainen? Maybe he's recruiting his own force and he's gonna bump off his rivals one by one.'
Tanis looked at him, and shook her head 'You're crazy' she said incredulously 'You really believe that Cainen is playing it for real? That he bombed his own club just to put us off the scent? That he willing endangered the lives of at least twenty innocent people?'
Steve paused for a moment, reality catching up with him. He let go of Tanis' arm. He swallowed hard 'I guess what I'm trying to say is that right now we don't know him well enough to say that he didn't'.
Tanis looked at him and for a moment there was silence between them and then she laughed, but there was no humour in it.
'How could I have been so stupid?' she said 'This isn't about Cainen at all is it? This is about the Task Force. This is about you and me and how you don't want me to be heading up the Task Force.' She shook her head in disbelief 'How could I have not seen that one coming?' she said bitterly.
'Tanis come on' Steve protested, but she wasn't listening.
'You'd give anything to discredit the Task Force wouldn't you?' she said, turning to face him. He could almost see the wheels turning inside her head.
'You don't really believe any of this nonsense' she said, thinking it through out loud 'you're just trying to make Cainen the scapegoat. You think that if you point enough suspicion at him, the Task Force will crumble'.
She stood facing him, hands on hips, eyes flashing angrily 'What is it Steve?' she challenged, 'Can't stand the idea that a woman could get up the promotional ladder quicker than you? That I could get up the ladder quicker than you?'
Steve opened his mouth to protest, but she wouldn't let him 'You're wrong about Cainen and you're wrong about the Task Force and I'm gonna prove it'.
She paused, taking a breath, getting her emotions under control. When she spoke again she was icy calm 'I think it's best that we go our separate ways' she said 'from now on why don't you work the case your way and let me do it mine'.
Steve stared at her, his mind refusing to take in what she'd just said. He wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that he hated the Task Force because he was scared that it would take her from him. He wasn't scared of losing her to a promotion, he was scared of the evil that he knew existed within the heart of the Task Force. Evil that would suck her in, chew her up and spit her out until she became a different person. A person like Ross Cainen. He wanted to tell her, but he didn't know how.
Tanis waited for him to say something, anything. She'd just ended their partnership, both romantically and professionally, and her heart was breaking and yet he just sat there and said nothing. She looked at him and steeled herself not to cry.
'Goodbye Steve' she said and then she turned on her heel and headed for the door. And all the way she hoped he would call her back.
For a second Steve sat in stunned inactivity and then his mind began to function again. Scrambling up from the couch, he winced as his side twinged painfully at the movement. Stumbling down the hallway, his hand pressed to his side he called out to her, but the only answer he received was the slamming of the front door. She was gone and he was alone. Angrily he thumped his fist against the wall, but the anger was short lived and quickly replaced with remorse.
'Good going Steve' he thought bitterly. The sensitive spot in their relationship had just been ripped right open and now it was a gaping wound. But not only had he just blown his relationship with Tanis, he might have just pushed her right into the arms of a potential killer!
Going back into the living room he headed straight for the drinks cabinet and pulled out a bottle of his father's scotch. He poured a double shot into a glass and tossed it back. Picking up both the glass and the bottle, he carried them over to the couch and set them down on the coffee table before him. With a slightly shaky hand he refilled the glass. It was gonna be a long night.
Switching off the windscreen wipers of her car, Tanis canned the engine and sat watching the windscreen getting steadily bombarded with rain. She was still fuming, adrenaline pumping her system. How had she allowed herself to get hurt again? She'd lowered her guard, let herself fall for Steve, much harder and faster than she'd ever fallen for any man before. And this is what she got. Angrily she swiped at the tears that had begun to stream down her face.
'Should have known better Archer' she said angrily to herself.
She'd thought Steve had been different and yet the result was still the same. Here she was alone and crying her damn eyes out – again.
'Enough' she said finally, slamming a palm down on the steering wheel. Then checking her gun was in place, she yanked open the car door and stepped out into the cold and rainy night.
Visibility was at a minimum, but hopefully that would work in her favour. Crouching low she skirted the car and headed for the wrought iron fire escape that crept up the apartment block like ivy. She was breathing heavily by the time she'd ascended the slippery steps. She'd called ahead so he should be expecting her, but she was still trembling with anxiety.
Taking a deep breath, she scrapped away the dripping bougainvillea from the apartment wall and felt for the keypad on the concealed door behind it. Keying in the code he'd given her, she twisted the handle and stepped through. He was waiting to meet her, his eyes as anxious as hers.
'You took a hell of a risk coming here tonight' he hissed, grabbing her arm and dragging her quickly into an adjacent room before prying eyes could spot her.
Tanis swallowed, hard 'Hi' she said.
TO BE CONTINUED ….