Author's note: Of course I don't own X-Men Evolution or its characters! What made you think that? You silly billy! Nor do I own the song "Peanut Butter Jelly Time"! I'm just using them for personal enjoyment! So sue me! No, wait! On second thought, DON'T sue me! Please! What did I do wrong! All I did was try to drive Mystique insane! Is that so bad?...Oh, you're NOT going to sue me? Oh. How very kind of you!
Another Author's Note: Have you seen the movie "How to Lose a Guy In 10 Days"? Cause I haven't. I just used it to inspire my title. Jeez! And if you HAVE seen it, how is it? Is it worth watching?
Yet Another Author's Note: Mystique, if you are reading this Fan Fiction, let me please tell you that I do not hate you. You are actually my favorite character. If you are going to kill anyone, kill RedWitch for inspiring me for this story. Oh yeah and RedWitch, if you are reading this, thanks for the inspiration! It's all your funny stories that drove me to write one of my own! Actually, Mystique, don't kill RedWitch! I'll miss her awesome stories! Go kill...uh, I dunno. Go use Toad as a punching bag for what he starts in the following story.
Please, freaking review if you would be so kind! Now, the delay switch is off. On with the story! I'm sorry, that was rude of me. PLEASE REVIEW! IT MAKES ME FEEL SPECIAL!
How to Drive Mystique Insane in 10 Minutes
Some of the Brotherhood Boys were feeling hyper, especially Pietro. The speedster in a hyper mood was an extremely annoying trial to stand. Suddenly Mystique burst through the front door, in a mood nearly completely opposite of everyone else. She threw herself onto the nearest couch and growled to herself under her breath; she didn't explain why she was angry, and no one dared ask her why...except, of course, a certain hyper speedster. Suddenly, Pietro began racing around her very quickly.
"HiMystiquehowyoudoing? Why'reyouhomeinsuchabadmood? Didyoubringmeanything?Huhhuhhuh?" He asked very quickly. He continued racing around her and talking extremely fast.
"PIETRO STOP IT!" Mystique bellowed, and put her fist in Pietro's path. Pietro was going too fast and didn't see it coming, and her fist made connection with his gut. Todd came hopping into the room faster than usual.
"Hey, who let Toad have jam again? You know he goes nuts off that stuff!" Lance asked from the kitchen. Mystique threw Pietro into his room to recover from the blow, and when she got downstairs, she saw, to her horror, Todd hopping her way, with Freddy behind him, in an equally excited mood.
"Hey, yo, Freddy! That's good jam, eh? I love strawberry!" Todd said excitedly. He stopped moving forward when he reached Mystique, but didn't stop hopping; he hopped annoyingly on the spot while Mystique scowled at him.
"Yo, Mystique, do you know what time it is?" Todd asked her, his voice going up and down every time he hopped. "Huh? Do ya, do ya, do ya!" Todd asked maniacally. Mystique growled as he continued jumping and asking "Do ya!" over and over again.
"Toad, you disgusting imbecile, can't you tell I don't have a watch, or has your idiocy clouded your vision?" Mystique snapped. Todd turned to Freddy.
"Hey Freddy, should we tell Mystique what time it is?" Todd asked Freddy hysterically.
"Yeah, she needs to know what time it is!" Freddy shouted although Todd could easily hear him. "Iiiiiiit's..." Freddy began.
"Oh no." Mystique murmured as Todd began hopping all over the walls singing in his most annoying voice...
"PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" Todd shrieked. Mystique clutched her head and threw herself back onto the couch. "Stop it!" She cried, but he didn't stop. It didn't make it any better when Freddy began singing, "WAYYA WAYYA WAYYA WAYYA NOW DERE YOU GO DERE YOU GO DERE YOU GO!"
Todd pushed Freddy away and took his rightful singing spot. He hung off the chandelier using his green tongue.
"IIIIIT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!" Todd yelled at the top of his lungs. To Mystique's ever growing fear, Pietro had recovered and had heard the noise. He soon raced downstairs and zipped circles around Mystique singing...
"PEANUTBUTTERJELLYANDABASEBALLBAT! PEANUTBUTTERJELLY,PEANUTBUTTERJELLY, PEANUTBUTTERJELLYANDABASEBALLBAT!" Pietro cackled as Mystique clutched her head, trying to hold back the major migraine she felt coming. To make matters worse, Lance ran in from the kitchen, and began whining.
"Stop it, you guys!" He whined. But they only sang louder. "I mean it! Stop singing that annoying song! Fine then!" He saw Todd sitting on the chandelier. "Eat THIS peanut butter jelly!" His eyes rolled back into his head as he used his powers, forcing the chandelier to fall down, Todd jumping off at the last second, leaving Mystique to jump out of the way just in time.
"Lance, you idiot! That chandelier cost 4000 dollars!" Mystique snarled at Lance, but he was so busy chasing after Todd, and Pietro was singing so loudly while he raced around the room so quickly he was just a blur-it sounded as though a ghost were singing the song-, and Freddy was singing loudly too, that Lance never heard her. Mystique thought she was going to explode. No way she was going to take this lying down... no, she was going to be lenient to these boys' moronic behavior no longer. Just as she was about to take them down-although she would have much preferred ripping their heads off- they heard a door slam over the loud voices. Pietro stopped dead in his tracks. His singing, Freddy's singing, and Lance and Todd's chase around the house stopped dead in their tracks too. Even Mystique stared with a horrified glance at the upstairs hallway as she saw a shadow approaching on the wall...
"Oh, no, yo." Todd said in a horrified whisper. He jumped into Lance's arms for protection, not unlike Scooby Doo and Shaggy..
"It's Wanda!" Pietro cried as she began thumping down the stairs. Judging by the look on her face, she wasn't happy about being disturbed from her nap. If looks could kill, every single person other than herself would be dead in that room.
"WOULD YOU IDIOTS SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP UP HERE!" She screamed.
The look of horror on Pietro's face turned to a grin. His excess energy that had been controlling his mind clouded his judgement, and immediately began laughing into the tense silence.
"Hey Wanda, do you want to know what time it is?" He grinned evilly at her.
"Pietro, don't!" Lance whimpered. But Todd hopped out of his arms and joined Pietro.
"Yeah, Wanda! We'll tell you what time it is..." Todd smiled a smile equally as evil as Pietro's. Before Wanda knew what was happening, Todd had spat sticky green slime on her hand that hardly almost instantly, so she couldn't move her fingers at all to manipulate her powers with. He had also been careful enough to stick the hands together, just in case she didn't need her fingers to manipulate her great power. Also, for extra protection, he stuck her feet to the floor too.
"What are you doing!" Wanda growled.
"Iiiiiiiiiit's..." Todd began.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mystique screamed as she thrust her hands onto her ears.
"PEANUTBUTTERJELLYTIMEPEANUTBUTTERJELLYTIME PEANUTBUTTERJELLYTIME PEANUTBUTTERJELLYTIME!" Pietro sang quickly as he raced around Wanda.
"I'm going to kill you, Pietro!" Mystique bellowed, and leapt at Pietro's blurred form. Unfortunately, her rage blinded her judgement, and she ended up crashing into the wall. Todd quickly "gooed" her to the wall too, forcing her to watch the chaos going on in her home.
"WAYYA WAYYA WAYYA WAYYA WAYYA! DERE YOU GO DERE YOU GO!" Freddy shouted.
"PEANUT BUTTER JELLY, PEANUT BUTTER JELLY , PEANUT BUTTER JELLY AND A BASEBALL BAT!" Todd sang as he hopped from the walls. "FREESTYLE, FREESTYLE, FREESTYLE, TOAD STYLE!"
"Pietro, Todd, if I get out of this I'm going to Hex Bolt you both into the next country!" Wanda screamed.
"Shut UP!" Lance yelled to Todd and Pietro as he shook the house.
"LANCE-YOU-ARE-DESTROYING-MY-HOME!" Mystique shrieked.
Paintings fell from the walls, only to be broken when Todd hopped on them, as he tried to escape from Lance, singing his lungs out with Pietro and Fred all the while.
Fred went upstairs to Mystique's room. Pietro stopped momentarily.
"Freddywhereareyougoing?" He asked. Freddy came booming down the stairs a moment later, carefully carressing a laptop owned by Mystique.
Mystique gave a glance at Wanda, who also gazed back in horror. "You-Wouldn't-Dare!" Mystique screamed, but she already knew they would dare. They had already dared to trap her and Wanda, they dared to nearly destroy the house, and worst of all, they'd dared to make Mystique mad. They would pay dearly. It wasn't until Freddy revealed he also had the biggest hook-in mini-speakers he owned Wanda realized what he was doing.
"Hey guys! Look what song I got off the internet!" He cried, trying to set it up, but his fingers were too big for the buttons on the laptop. "Gah, little buttons!" He cried.
"LemmehelpyouwiththatFreddy!" Pietro offered as he typed in instructions at super speed. Instantly, the last song Mystique and Wanda wanted to hear began playing at full blast.
"STOP THAT!" Lance bellowed as he sent up a tremor large enough to throw the laptop into the air, proceeding to allow it to smash into the ceiling.
"YOU-ARE-GOING-TO-PAY-FOR-THAT-LAPTOP'S-REPLACEMENT-LANCE!" Mystique screamed at the top of her lungs. Pietro, Todd, and Freddy stopped singing, and stopped moving.
"What'dyoudothatforLance!" Pietro asked in a rushed anger.
"Yeah, man, we were listening to that, yo!" Todd growled.
"Yeah, well, I've been listening to your singing for the past 10 minutes! It's payback time!" Lance roared in retaliation. Todd growled dangerously, and pounced on Lance, knocking him backwards into Wanda. The impact knocked her out of her feet traps, and she subsequently kicked the goo off her hands, freeing her fingers. She smiled an triumphant smile.
She Hex Bolted Mystique off the wall, who disgustedly pulled the goo off her arms and legs, and Hex Bolted all of the boys not into the next country, but at least into the next yard. Luckily, the family was on vacation. She Hexed them back into the room.
"You're right, Lance, it IS payback time!" Mystique yelled to the lump of mutants on the floor, dazed from the smash through the wall.
"Mystique, I have an idea, but we'll need your work laptop." Wanda suggested evilly.
"Tell me, Wanda..." and Wanda told her. Mystique brought down her work laptop, and hooked up the computer's stereo while Wanda manipulated some Adamantium rope Mystique happened to have(don't ask...) And tied up the boys who were still getting their bearings.
"Boys, guess what songs WE got off the Internet!" Mystique said to the boys, who tried to get off their restraints as Britney Spears began flooding the room, while Mystique and Wanda quickly retreated to Mystique 's soundproofed bedroom.
"Toad, try to shut it off with your tongue!" Lance screamed in agony as Britney sang "oops I did it again..." at full blast. Toad's tongue rolled out, but the laptop had been placed strategically out of reach.
Up in Mystique's bedroom, Mystique and Wanda planned on how they could get the boys to pay for everything they broke. Suddenly, a scream loud enough to break through the soundproofed walls rang.
"MYSTIQUE! WANDA! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! YOU CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN'T! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Pietro screamed at the top of his lungs as the next song began.
"I think he wants Christina Aguilara to play next." Wanda giggled.
"I think so too." Mystique grinned back as they walked down the stairs wearing ear muffs to block out the sound, and added Christina Aguilara to the soundtrack.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The End