Turning Pages

You stood on the stage alongside Troy and I felt jealousy creep into me. I know I should be happy for you, you do deserve Twinkle Town. But part of me still wants to be up there where you are.

Watching you move along the stage and sing I realized I wanted you to trip and fall on the stage. I wanted you to fall and break your ankle so I could be up there. The stage has become my home over the last four years. Nothing else has even come into comparison to being my home but that one stage. It was everything to me.

I sink lower in my seat as you finish the song with Troy and Darbus clapped for you. The claps rang out in the auditorium and they spilled into my ears and I regonized them as my own. It had always seemed like those claps were set aside for me. But now they were belonging to you. And I hated it.

"Brava!" Darbus let out and I use my right hand to cover the half of my face. I miss my spot on that stage more then you could ever know. I feel the seat next to me fill and I know it's Ryan. Who else would it be?

"You okay?" He asks me as you smile and laugh on the stage in all of your glory.

I watch you laugh with Troy one more time before turning to Ryan. "No." I answer shaking my head. I don't think I'll ever be okay ever again. It's all over.

"I'm sorry." Ryan tells me and I hear you laugh again.

"I know." I say sticking my gaze on you again. You push a clump of your dark hair behind your ear and that's when I know. I know that I have to leave.

"Where you going?" Ryan asks as I start walking out of our row of chairs.

"I need air." I tell him as you start to sing your next song. I walk until I hear you sing the chorus and I spin around to watch you.

It's your solo. The one I practiced so hard for days, after forcing the sheet music from Kelsi. You're standing in the middle of the stage in front of a microphone stand and Kelsi is playing in the background. You're going through your first rehearsal perfectly, better then I ever did mine. I really can't help but hate you.

I cross my arms against my chest and I listen to you. You're right for the scene and perfect. Watching you finish the end of the song I realize theater isn't my thing. I'd never be good as you.

I turn away quickly from my spot at the door and leave. Leaving it all behind. The stage at East High isn't for me anymore.