Disclaimer: I'm much to tired to argue with you right now disclaimer… so I'll just come out and say it. Yea I dn't own Inu.. yea you keep laffing.. it duznt bother me you know… not at all… ok that's enough… stop it.. STOP LAFFING!

Dude I love you guys so much. A special thanks top my 3 regular reviews! NekoYasha101, iluvshessy, and Stand Alone Complex. I love you guys! Thank you so much for supporting me! That's the only reason you are getting this chapter about 13 hours after you got the last one hahahahahahaha. Ok well on with the story!

Trust is equivalent to hurt

It was now Saturday afternoon when Kagome awoke to the warmth of a nice warm comforter wrapped around her body. She opened her eyes and turned over to look at the clock like she did every morning, when a piercing pain went through the entirety of her body. "Okay… or not."

She attempted to sit up. "Ow ow ow owwwwww!" She sighed with satisfaction when she was finally up and she was extremely startled when she saw that she wasn't in her bed. "Huh?"

Flashbacks of the previous night started coursing through her mind. As she started remembering everything, her face started becoming more emotionless by the second.

Sesshomaru had raped her.

It finally sunk in. That which she held most dear to herself was taken from her by the one she most loved. She didn't cry, she didn't become angry either; she just kind of sat there staring at the wall with a blank expression. He was not going to get any more tears out of her.

She looked at her arms and noticed that her wounds had been treated. The entirety of her arm had white gauze around it and she could feel the ace bandage around the top of her head. She poked the cut on her lip with her tongue and brought her hand up to the bandaged gash on her cheek. Both cheeks were pretty bruised, she could feel, and it was difficult for her to breath because the in-and-out motion of her stomach would make the wounds there open slightly each time.

Her thoughts drifted back to her ex-boyfriend. "How can I face him now? I'll have to see him at school… what am I going to do? It'll be too soon if I ever have to see his despicable face again!"

She started feeling lonely but it hurt too much for her to draw in a big enough breath to yell for anyone to hear her. And she couldn't very well just get up and walk out of the room, even though he had only provided flesh wounds above her waist and not on her legs. One thing about getting things forcibly shoved up places where they don't belong... well… you're pretty darn sore afterwards. She figured someone would come in due time.

She figured 20 minutes had passed and she was becoming pretty lonely. In times like this she would often start mentally talking to someone that was always there with her: her subconscious.

"How could I have been so blind to trust him?"

"You trust a lot of people sweetie, you loved him."

"Well maybe I trust too much… I mean I was even warned about how I wasn't supposed to trust him yet I did it anyway!"

"Yet again I say: you loved him!"

"And I thought he loved me…"

"Well there are a lot of people in this world that you think love you, but are really out to get you…"

"Like Rin?"

"Most definitely Rin!"

"But she's my best friend! How do you know she's evil?"

"Honey, I'm you. All I'm telling you are things that you are already pondering and helping you understand them better. But take it from me: I know that Rin girl is trouble!

"Wow… all this time… what about Sango and Ayame?"

"Well I don't know."

"What do mean you don't know!"

"Well they both seem like nice girls to me! But then again so did Rin… I never would have expected her to be an evil little twit about 2 months ago. But as of late it has become increasingly obvious to everyone around you. But you just haven't wanted to see it, so you didn't. That's why I'm here, to make you see things you subconsciously know about but don't want to believe."

"Gosh, I wish I knew that too nights ago…"

"But Hun, I just don't want you to be hurt again you know? Because that means I do too… So if you think that trusting Sango and Ayame will mean being hurt again then don't trust them. I'm not here to make your decisions for you, just to give you insight and help you make them."

"Okay, okay. To me they seem so great! And I love them to death but I don't think I can handle getting hurt like this again…"

"Then don't give them the chance to hurt you. But you know… somehow I don't think that Sango or Ayame could rape you sweetie…"

"Oh my gosh that's not what I meant!" Kagome blushed at her own inner thoughts.

"I know, I know, I'm just playing with you honey. But one person… Inuyasha…"

"What about him?"

"Well… are you sure you can trust him?"

She was mad at herself for even thinking such a thought, "Of course I can! Inuyasha would never hurt me!"

"Ah hah!"

"Ah hah what?"

"That is that same exact thing you said about Sesshomaru to Inuyasha on the phone the night before the party! And what happened after that…? He did more than hurt you…"

"B—but this is completely different!"

"How? You know as well as I do, me being you and all, that Inuyasha hated you with a passion and would do anything he could to mentally and sometimes physically, even if it wasn't an extreme pain, hurt you…"

"But that was a long time ago! He changed and now we are best friends!"

"But what if you aren't? What if he's just building your trust so that he can do something really horrible to you and laugh at the fact you never saw it coming?"

"H—he wouldn't—"

"What if he and Sesshomaru are in on this together and they planned everything out from the beginning just to make Inuyasha look like the hero as to gain even more of your trust?"

"Stop it! Just stop it!" She hadn't realized it, but she had yelled this allowed and quite noisily at that. A piercing pain went through the entirety of her stomach, "Ow ow owwwww…"

"Stop what?" She looked at the doorway to find Inuyasha standing there with some wet washcloths in his hand.

"Oh hi." He had expected her to jump up and throw her arms around him and tell him how much she loved him for taking care of her the whole night… but all he got was a hi… strange…

"I came to bring you some washcloths for your stomach wounds, they are pretty bad." He came up to her and started lifting her shirt up. He felt kind of awkward doing this now that she was awake. After all, her full breasts would be exposed once he took her shirt off. It had to be done when she was asleep in order to dress her wounds or she would have bled to death.

"What are you doing?" She pushed his hands off her shirt and hugged her arms lightly to her sides to he could not try anything like that again. What was he trying to pull? She had found that she trusted him significantly less ever since that conversation with herself… what if she was right? What if he really did still hate her and he wanted to hurt her? Now she felt even more uncomfortable around him. And she sure as heck didn't want to be half naked around him either, she was sure he'd try something.

"Kagome, move your hands, I'm sorry if it's uncomfortable for you but I need to get your shirt off so I can clean your injuries okay?" He noticed the lack of life I her eyes and the fact that her voice was rather monotone.

He was almost sure that his brother had done this to her. His stupid jackass of a brother had taken his Kagome and completely drained her of life. He had cut her up like paper and probably laughed about it too. At least they were all superficial wounds that might leave small scars, but would heal in time. There was no permanent damage and that is what he thanked God for.

No permanent damage huh?

Seems as though Inu didn't know all of what happened to his Kagome…

"No! Stop it!" She tried to fight him as he attempted to her hands off the shirt without hurting her. The only way to do it was by extreme force, which would harm her. And that was definitely something he was not willing to do.

"Kagome, I'm serious, take off your shirt." It sounded a little sterner than he liked, but he really needed to remove those blood soaked bandages from her stomach before they got infected.

"No! I don't want you looking at me Inuyasha!" Though she said it a little louder her voice was still in a low monotone key, what happened to Kagome's sweet, peppy voice?

"Looking at y—Kagome! I don't want to take advantage of your body in the time of your defenselessness! I just want to take off those bandages before they get infected! I may not have an A in health but I'm not an idiot. I know that if you leave those on too long you'll get some sort of evil infectious disease and die or something! So just let me…"

He moved in to grab hold of her shirt but she still was against it. "Get away from me, Inuyasha," This time he was sure she meant what she said. She really wanted him away from her… but why? Did he do something wrong? He expected to look in her eyes and see hatred, but instead he saw… nothing… nothing with a tint of fear. That was it. "Kagome are you afraid of me? Are you afraid I'm going to hurt you?"

She just looked at him and the hurt in his eyes and decided she shouldn't be completely cold. If she was going this don't-trust-anyone-so-I-don't-get-hurt thing, she didn't want to hurt other people either. "I'm not afraid of you, I just don't trust you. I don't trust anyone, because I can't afford to. I tried trust once, and where did that get me? In a situation of more pain than you can ever imagine… that's where."

He looked at her cold eyes. She meant everything she was saying, and he knew it. Her voice was no longer happy, but low and lifeless. Sesshomaru had broken her… how could he have let this happen? "Kagome don't feel that way! None of what you are saying is true! Trusting people is how you keep yourself from getting hurt! You just made a mistake and—"

"A mistake that I can't afford to make again. Well maybe I could… you can't really steal that twice." She smirked at herself. But it was a smirk of self loathing and loathing of other things, not a happy, funny kind of smirk when you understand a retarded joke.

"What do you mean?" Steal what? What can't you steal twice? Confusion…

"Never mind. It doesn't matter. Point is, how do I know that you won't rape me here and now in my moment of weakness? Come on, Inuyasha, there's no one stopping you! Come and get a piece of little old me! I know you want one, every guy wants one. Every guy would jump at the frikking chance to get one! He certainly did. Don't you just want to take a bite outta me and lick me all over? I bet I taste yummy! He definitely thought so!"

Inuyasha just starred at her in disbelief at what she was saying to him. She was basically telling him have sex with her right now! Had Sesshomaru made her go f…in' insane?

"I bet you want me to stop don't you? Because the realization of it all hurts doesn't it? Cuz you know how true it is… how much you want me…But did he stop when I asked him to? Did he stop when I cried? Did he stop when I screamed? Did he stop when I begged for f…ing mercy! No… no he didn't. He got a damn big chunk outta me! But hey there's still a lot left! Maybe I should just pass it around… Maybe I should become the whore that he labeled me as huh? It'd certainly make the whole male population pretty happy if I did that wouldn't it? If I just passed myself along and let each guy take what he wanted until there was no more left to pass? That would be cute wouldn't Inuyasha? Kagome the Slut? It has a ring to it doesn't it?"

So Sesshomaru had raped her… that's why she was acting so weird. Pure trauma was at this moment taking over her brain. No wonder she refuses to trust me, she probably thinks that I want to rape her just like my brother did. "Kagome no, I don't want any pieces of you and I think you should keep them to yourself okay? Not all guys are like my brother." She started looking at him with a seductive smile as she inched her way off the bed and stood so she was right in front of him and she put her arms her him and embraced him.

He hugged her back trying hard not to hurt her. "I'm glad she's starting to trust me again, I think she understands that I'm not going to hurt her." He thought in happiness. But he sensed something was wrong with the hug when her hands slowly made their way under his shirt and her nails started caressing her back. "Kagome I—"

"Shhh," She looked at him and licked her lips. She smiled up at him with that seductive smile that made his heart melt and placed a light kiss on his lips. He was in a shear daze until he remembered that it was all fake. Everything she was doing right now was done in a desperate attempt to relieve herself from the memories of the man she loved hurting her so badly, not because she actually cared about him like that.

She moved her lips to his ear and said, "Hey do you wanna be my first customer? You can be free! And you know, as an added bonus, I won't even cry, or beg, or scream for you. In fact… why don't I just help you along?" She pushed him against the wall next to her bed, despite the soreness of her body. Sure her subconscious told her not to trust him, and she wasn't. She was basically taking advantage of him in order to forget about the previous night and focus on all the aspects Inu's body instead of remembering his. Maybe it was time to look at a new approach to this whole I'm-a-raped-girl-oh-what-do-I-do-to-deal-with-this-trauma thing. She smiled in realization of her new plan.

(AN: this isn't going to be bad don't worry ok?)

He made an attempt to push her away from him but there was nothing he could do without hurting her. And she sure as hell wasn't going to budge. "Stop Ka—"

"Shut up will ya? Just let me do everything if you don't want to play…" She laughed seductively and pressed her lips up against his once again along with her body. She pushed his hands up above his head and pressed them against the wall with her fingers entwined in his. After 30 seconds she had to part to take a breath. "You know, you taste so much better than Sesshomaru. Why did I ever give you up for him?"

Wait… maybe she was telling him she had real feelings for him and didn't intend on just using him as a boy toy.

The next thing he knew she took her hands away from his and put her hands behind his head and pushed his face to her neck. "Take me, Inuyasha."

An idea struck his head. All he needed to do was play along long enough to get her shirt off and then he could remove her bandages and put fresh ones on. She'd probably be mad at him for tricking her, but hey! It needed to be done…

"Oh I've got you, Kags," a growl emitted from his throat as he sucked on her neck and nipped at it. He licked up her neck until he found her lips again. He then quickly turned around and now had her pinned to the wall. Even if this was just part of a well thought out scheme he planned out to put fresh bandages on her, he still wanted to be in control.

She smiled in the midst of the kiss as he put his hand around her head to keep her from 'getting away'.

"Give it to me rough Inuyasha, no holding back okay?" Her eyes turned to ice for a second as she said, "It's what I'm accustomed to." He had no time to plan Sesshomaru's death before she smashed her lips onto his again.

"You want it rough? Let's just say you asked for it okay?" He gave her a wry smile as he grabbed her by the shoulders and through her onto the bed with such force she almost screamed out in pain. "Ahhh I'm sorry Kagome! I don't mean to hurt you or take advantage of you like this… but I have to if I'm going to make it so you don't die of some weirdo infectious disease!" He mentally cursed himself for throwing her down so hard.

"Come on now! It can't hurt that bad… you asked for rough and this is what you get!"

"No it's perfect! Now come over here before I come and get you okay baby?"

He licked his lips, "No problem." He jumped onto the bed and got on top of her. This was his chance to get her shirt off. Before he could even move hands toward her shirt she caught him off guard and flipped them both over so she was on top of him.

"Looks like I got the power now huh?" She grabbed his shirt with her hands and moved it up over her head. She looked at his perfect stomach and her eyes held some surprise. "Whoa. You are frikking gorgeous!" She moved her hands up and down his stomach before moving down to lick it thoroughly up and down. She trailed kisses upward until she reached his lips once again.

This was his chance. He needed to do this fast before she tried to take anything else off of him. SHE was going to be raping HIM pretty soon! He flipped them over once again. "Come on babe you've had your fun… can't it be my turn now?" He playfully nipped her ear.

"Ok stud bucket," she chuckled, "but make it a quickie ok? I want my turn soon." She began fiddling with the button on his khaki shorts.

"Yea ok!" he moved her hands away from where he did not want them…

He quickly took her shirt off and threw it on the ground next to were she had thrown his. "Finally," he muttered under his breath as he got off her.

"Hey where are you going?" She sat up in bed and gave him puzzled and slightly pissed off glance.

"How about you lay down and close your eyes and you can have a surprise okay?" He winked her and she smiled and bit her lip back. She laid down and closed her eyes.

They opened with a start, however, when she screamed and cussed the heck outta Inuyasha. She looked down at the increasingly reddening box around the wounds on her stomach where the tape holding the gauze on had been ripped off. "Inu that f…ing hurt! You could have given me some warning!"

"Well you wouldn't have let me if I had given you warning now would you? And this has to be don't so just let me do it ok?"

"Fine you big jackass. So you pretended you wanted me just so you could get my shirt off to dress my stupid injuries? Am I not appealing to you at all?"

"Kags, you are beautiful and I love you. And because I love you, I will not have sex with you when you are acting like this even though you are damn appealing." He said all of this nonchalantly as he wet the towels he needed to cleanse her damages thoroughly.

She sighed and looked at him, "Because you love me huh? Well he loved me and he still had sex with me and I wasn't nearly as willing to have sex with him as I am with you so I think that your kind of love is pretty strange and I don't understand it at all."

"Well you're pretty lucky I'm here because most guys aren't like me and would just jump and skip at the chance to take advantage of you and for you to even be willing."

"Well then maybe I should go find a guy who'll do that then huh? Better yet maybe I should just go around and find a lot of guys who are like that! Since you won't exploit me in my time of weakness like I'm asking you too… I'll just go find someone who will! I think it'd be easy." It bothered him how her voice sounded now. It wasn't her creepy, dead, monotone voice, or her sweet voice he fell in love with. But it was the voice of a girl who sounded like a cocky, self-loving, bitch who screwed a new guy she picked up at a bar every night. Frankly, it reminded him of Rin's voice… something he did not like at all.

"Kags, that's only cuz you think you're a whore," he chuckled at that statement. He didn't know why he did though; there was something so wrong with his Kags… and it was no laughing matter. "She gets raped and nearly filleted by my brother, then she passes out in pool of her own blood, then I hear her talking to herself 20 minutes, then I come in and she's like the empty soul of a ghost who won't let me touch her, and THEN she tried to frikking rape ME, and then she talks about how I'm a retard for not wanting to have my way with her highly appealing body, which I probably am but we can ignore that, and then she makes a mental list of guys at school she can screw, and last but not least, she tries to thinks of ways to turn herself into a Heather's Whore House Slut… what happened to my Kags…? Well I know exactly what happened… Sesshomaru scarred her for f…ing life and now she's insane and thinks she can stop thinking about the increasingly painful fact that she was raped by the guy she loved if she willingly has sex with all the guys she can… one night changed her from the sweet, abstinent, gorgeous Kagome, into THAT. Whatever the hell that is." He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Kagome say, "Whoa…"

She looked down at her stomach and studied the scratches he had made. "Well would you look at that?" Her eyebrows rose up as she realized what it said. She sighed, "How irritating… my perfect tummy is ruined…"

Inuyasha just starred at her stomach with wide eyes. He hadn't realized what it said last night because it was rather dark. But now… now he knew exactly what it said…

"I'm going to f…ing kill that bastard when I see him! F…ing jackass shattered my best friend who is now a lunatic… took something so special that was not his to take…"

Kagome looked at him with look of interest as she vaguely made out one of the things he was muttering about.

"Hey Inu? Why do say it wasn't his to take?" She stood up and got dangerously close to him again. He didn't know now if he had enough will power to stay a safe distance away from her this time. At least before she had on her shirt. But this… now this just wasn't fair!"

"I think I know…" she put her hand on one of his cheeks and caressed it softly with her nails. He closed his eyes and slightly growled at her touch. She smiled, "You thought it was yours didn't you?" She got her pointer finger and delicately traced his jaw line until she reached his bottom lip and started gently stroking it with her finger, "You wanted to be my first…" She took her finger off his mouth and put her lips dangerously close to his, "But it can still be special even if it's slightly after first you know…" She lightly touched her lips to his, "Here I am…" She took a step back from him and looked at him with a smile, "Come and get me."

(WARNING: k… you might not wanna look now... lol)

He looked at her for what seemed like a mere half a second before he knew exactly what he wanted. He put an arm around her back and forced her body to his so fast she almost got whiplash as her head flung back to catch his vigorously moving lips.

As her lips were still captured by his he unzipped her skirt and forced it down below her knees. "He works fast…" she thought in delight.

She laid back onto the bed and dragged him on top of her. He started sucking hungrily on her neck as one of his fingers entered her. She whimpered and her eyes rolled back into her head for a split second. She grabbed his silky-haired head and pushed it down towards her beast as he slipped another finger into her. She screamed in delight as his tongue caressed her in vigorous manner.

He took his two fingers out of her and licked them clean. "You taste so good Kags…" He bent down to kiss her again. When he came out of the kiss he looked into her eyes and they gleamed with happiness. He couldn't tell if it was true or not, but maybe… just maybe she was actually feeling something for him at this moment, instead of just using him to forget his brother.

"Man, you taste a heck of a lot better than Sesshomaru that's for sure! My turn…"

She rolled on top of him and licked her lips. She unzipped his khaki shorts but didn't even bother to pull them off; she just forced her hand down. He moaned in the greatest amount of pleasure he had ever felt…

(UN-WARNING: ok you guys are safe now! But just thought I'd tell you… it get's really depressing and sad from here on out in this chapter…)

"Dang Inu! You are frikken huge!"

The next thing she said made him feel like he had just gotten shot in the heart with an arrow and pinned to a tree for 50 years… odd feeling… "I'd rather be your slut than Sesshy's any day of the week!" She started to chuckle and she obviously thought it was funny where as Inuyasha was just hurt beyond all reason.

He pulled her hands out of his shorts and pushed her off him. "That's all you think you are to me? That's all you think you will ever be to every guy after this also, don't you?"

Kagome sat up, "No Inu, that's not what I—"

"Yea Kags, that's exactly what you meant. Sesshomaru broke you, Kagome. He broke your mind, and your confidence. Now whenever you see what could be a kind, and caring guy that could love you so much for you, all you'll see is a man that wants to hurt and take advantage of you. You won't get to know the guy or learn to trust him or anything… you'll just think that by seducing him first, you won't have to deal with any hurt because you will have hurt him first. And why will you do this? Because you refuse to trust anyone! I was here for you, and you turned into what you were trying to get away from and you took advantage me and my kindness and love for you. He took the Kag I loved, killed her, threw her in a river, and put a weird, creepy, Rin-like, sluttish one in her place. And I don't like her. I don't like her at all…"

Kagome's eyes were brimming with tears but she refused to let them fall. "Well maybe the new Kagome doesn't care if you like her or not…" She had made a mental resolution not to trust anyone other than Sango, Ayame, and her mom ever again. She had made a decision to be strong and not let this kind of thing discourage her.

She had made the choice to hurt the guys before they hurt her. And she supposed it worked… but she didn't exactly want to hurt Inuyasha… she wanted so badly to trust him… but he was a guy after all, the very brother of the man who had caused her so much torment. If Inu shared the same genes as him then for all she knew he could spring into hurt mode at any second and there would be nothing she could do about it or to stop him.

It was for the best that she and Inuyasha were probably not going to be friends again.

"I'm sorry you feel that way Kag. Get your clothes on, I think that you are well enough for me to take you home." He got up and looked at her straight in the eye one more time before walking out the bedroom door.

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The car ride was completely silent. Inuyasha was contemplating how to kill Sesshomaru for breaking his Kags while Kagome was contemplating a way to tell Inu she didn't mean what she said when they were having sex. Or almost were anyway.

When she got out of the car she stood there for a second before she shut the door. "Inuyasha I—"

"Save it. Until you stick yourself back together I don't want to talk to you."

"O—ok." The second she shut the door he sped down the street. She just starred after him as one loan tear made its way down her cheek.

Inuyasha looked in his rear view mirror as he went down the straight street he'd be going down for a couple more miles. Yup, she was still there… "Damn." He didn't want to do this, but it was the only way he could think to get her to trust him again. It sounded like a weird plan, but in his mind it was absolutely perfect. Using good, caring guys to forget about the painful times in your life wasn't right. And he was going to make her see that.

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Kagome ran into her room. Her mom wasn't home yet so there was no one to cry to. So she decided to bury her face in her pillow and cry to herself. "Why why why!" she screamed into her pillow while banging her fist on the wall. "Why did I have to meet you! Why did I have to love you! Why did you have to look so perfect and charming! And why… the hell… did I trust you!" She ran into the bathroom to look in the mirror.

"Do you see what you've done to me?" She tore the bandage off her arm so fast that the cuts started to reopen and bleed all over the floor. "I bet you think your cuts are great don't you? I bet you think they will last forever! I bet you think they hurt so much… well you're right… they did. But you know? Your cuts aren't that great! Yea you heard me! You know why? Yea I'll tell you why… yours are stupid, small, and tiny… and you know… I can do so much better than that."

She picked up the knife she brought from the kitchen and started crying, laughing, and taunting her imaginary version of him all at the same time as she hacked away at herself.

She made about 12 different gashes until she looked at her blood-soaked arms and admired her handy work. She smiled a truly happy smile when she said, "My cuts are so much deeper then yours. Yea they hurt a lot more too. I bet they'll stay longer also. Mm hmm I've got you beaten!

And there's nothing you can do about it. You know why?

Because I'm never trusting you ever, ever again…"

TBC…

BroadwayBaby: Hey guys! Oh my Gosh I can't believe I'm putting this chapter up at 6 frikken 30 in the morning! Dude I haven't gone to sleep yet! I have been righting this chapter since I put up the other one about 13 hours ago.. well ok I haven't spent the whole time on it.. but a lot of it! Well some of it… 6 hours of it.. lol I'll stop now..

Well there you go. And again many thankz to mi loyal reviews whom I love and adore. And holy crap I'm as tired as a frikken… well… I'm really tired. Don't ask about my wierdness. Ok I hope that I can get the next one up soon!

PREVIEW OF NEXT CHAPTER:

…"Don't be naughty huh? Sorry mom…no can do," she said to the phone as if it could hear her and respond…

…"So how are you Kags? You're looking especially gorgeous today." While saying this Koga poked his index finger onto her butt. She giggled at his touch this time and it made him sport a true smile…

…She knew she shouldn't have worn such a revealing skirt today. She looked around but them being the only two in the halls, there was nothing to divert his attention from her. The whole day when she saw him she would simply hide behind one of her friends… but now it was only the two of them…

Ya want it?

PLEASE REVIEW!

you know you love me,

Lina