Verion 4: The Generic Hurt/Comfort Fic
"So, Daniel, how are you feeling?"
"Well, I was just tortured almost to death."
"Ow, I hate when that happens."
"Yeah, me too. It gives me flashbacks of all the times I was raped in foster care."
"You were raped in foster care? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Oh, I thought everyone knew – every kid gets raped in foster care. It says so in all the novels."
"Well, I don't read much."
"You know what would make me feel better?"
"Ice cream?"
"No – about four hours of anal sex."
"Um… Are you sure that's a good idea right now?"
"Sure. Well, maybe that and ice cream…"