Disclaimer: Like I could be brilliant enough to own Roswell characters or anything like that… I don't, but please don't sue me for writing about them!

A/N: I wrote this oneshot about a year ago and just stumbled across it. I like it because it's written from the first person present POV. It's a difficult thing to write, but it just seemed to fit…

Anyways this is Liz's POV, Post Destiny. Enjoy!

I look up at the starry heavens. It was easy for me to pick out the V constellation that contained Max's home planet; whatever it's called. I sigh involuntarily as I lean back on the hard rock. No one knows of my late night drives to the desert. Not my parents, not Maria, not Alex, and definitely not Max. The nights here are my only time to breathe. They are my only solace.

The full moon shines brightly on the broken tower below me and I remember how I found this place. The night Max and I came to 'search for the orb' I saw it in the distance. I'd been too filled with lust and determination to figure out what my flashes were about to give the small rock formation more than a cursory note at the time, but when I came out here again several weeks later, I'd explored it. Alone. My parents had placed an embargo on all things Max so I spent a great deal of my time here. It helped me feel close to him during our enforced abstinence.

This is my favorite spot outside of my balcony. It's on private property so every time I come here, I'm breaking the law. Truth be told, I like the feeling, to be able to break one law for myself and not for someone else. I've spent the good part of my recent nights out here trying to figure out where exactly I fit into the lives of my Alien friends.

I chuckle mirthlessly. I know now what my place is: as far away as possible. Unfortunately, in a small town like Roswell it can't be very far. The furthest I can get is this place. My eyes rake the heavens. I can't understand what kind of person would impose an unwanted destiny on someone they didn't even know. Max's mother has doomed me to a destiny without Max. She might as well have sentenced me to Hell.

"Why did you have to let me feel?" I demand an answer from the stars. "I'd have rather just died." I whisper as I curled into a fetal position. I feel my head knock against a pointy part of the rock as I move. My eye moistens with tears from it, but I stay where I am, too stubborn to move.

I hate feeling. Because it means that you have the capacity for pain. I'd rather miss out on the joy of heaven if it meant I could avoid this broken heart. It's not my heart that's broken though; I can't even feel it any more. It's Max's. His heart hurts enough for both of us. I can see it in his eyes. I think it's the only thing left that can still hurt me; his eyes. They follow me everywhere, even my dreams.

The sun's going to come up soon, and I'm going to have to go back to my life of pretending. I'm going to have to watch hundreds of people pass me by with their own lives and problems that I don't care about. And even worse, are the people I do care about.

Alex's attempts to cheer me only make me feel guilty because I don't want to cheer up. Maria's red eyes tell me the story of how she spends her nights... I'd like to murder Michael for every tear she's shed. And I play the strong one. I hold my head high and I swear up and down that I'm going to get through the day just to spite the stars. Then I beg the stars for mercy every night. I'm a hypocrite as I lie on this rock not even daring to think about what I want and at the same time wishing on every star in the heavens for it.

Because what I want has a destiny with blonde hair and unless the stars all fall from the sky, that's what he's going to get…