Summery; Warning: See First Chapter.

Disclaimer/Copyright: I do not own Fushigi Yugi, repeat. I DO own these song lyrics - they're my own.

Well, here's chapter number nine! I was unsure whether to put the lyrics in or not, but I was trying to set the mood for everything and they seemed to help out. If not, oh well! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far and helped me out. And remember, Chichiri isn't wearing his mask, just so ya still know.

Please review if you read. Comments, ideas, suggestions, and helpful criticism welcome.

I share my pain with no one;

Because I doubt anyone cares.

I lock myself in my room

and blame my life on me.

I hide my feelings from my friends,

scared that they'll reject me.

If they see who I truly am,

there would be nothing left but to run.

The light that shone inside me is gone,

snuffed out by my mistakes.

My dreams have taken flight,

I don't think I'll see them again.

Hope and love and trust;

these concepts are alien to me.

Despair, loneliness, and fear:

these are what I understand and feel.

I'm hiding from the world,

or maybe just myself.

I don't know what to do at all;

but fear and rejection keep me from asking for help.

"Geez, is this what she's always listening to?" Tasuki thought in surprise, glancing again at her sleeping form. "I thought she'd listen to something…happy or something, not like this. No wonder she's depressed."

He jumped when she shifted around, but relaxed when he realized she was still asleep and put her music back, hoping she wouldn't notice he had touched it. Tasuki paused when he caught a glimpse of a tear in her eye and leaned forward, unsure what was going through his head at that moment. Gazing sympathetically at her, he impulsively kissed the spot before jumping back to his own futon and hiding underneath his blanket in embarrassment, not noticing she had pulled his jacket to her head and was currently snuggling it in her sleep.

"Mmm…" Kae rolled over to her other side as the sun filtered through the bamboo blinds into her eyes, and abruptly came face-to-face with a snoring Tasuki – who had somehow managed to come over to her futon and had wrapped his arms around her shoulders in a child-like manner. Of course, the surprised young woman didn't quite see it that way. "Tasuki!"

"Whoa!" he yelled, jumping a few feet backward when her shriek blew his eardrums out and woke him up at the same time. "What's yer problem, woman?" he demanded, covering his ears with his palms and glaring at her. "What'd I do?"

"You…you…pervert!" she retorted in embarrassment, turning away from him sharply and almost sitting on Tama. "When can you get out? I need to get dressed," she grumbled, and he got to his feet as he stretched lazily.

"Geez, is that all? Well, I'll leave now," he informed her, and slid the door open, only to find Chichiri standing there calmly. "Waugh!"

"Daa?" the monk cocked his head innocently, and Kae turned to see a bundle in his hands. "I heard the yelling and assumed you guys were up, no da. I brought you some clothes, Kae. They're probably too big, but you can wear them until yours get washed."

"Th-thanks, Chichiri," she stammered, also recovering from the shock of seeing Chichiri suddenly there.

"I'll wait outside," he told, and gazed after a stomping and swearing Tasuki curiously. "What's with him?"

"Long story," she said, hastily shutting the door after grabbing the clothes from him. "Whew," she sighed, and eyed Tama. "And get off that, you fat thing," she ordered, pushing the cat off of Tasuki's jacket. "Huh?" she blinked in surprise, and then grabbed her head. "Ow! Damn hangover…I don't even remember last night…" she groaned, trying to recall what had happened. "I remember getting changed and sitting in the bed…and after that it's all hazy. And…oh god, he was…I couldn't have…" She paled at the idea, but shook her head to return to her senses – quickly regretting the action and sitting back down with a sigh. "No, he was fully dressed," she realized in relief, and inspected the clothes Chichiri had got for her. He had even found a pair of boots for her, along with a pair of brown pants and a shrunken white shirt to wear under the bigger white tunic he had brought. "I'll have to thank him," she grinned, quickly slipping into the clothing. Grimacing when she realized how big the shirt was – and low – she sighed and knew she had to just suck it up if she wanted clean normal clothes the rest of the time.

"Not too bad, no da," Chichiri commented, as he sat nearby while she scrubbed at her clothes vigorously. "They were the smallest I could find."

"They're great!" she said a little too brightly, and he peered intensely at her for a moment before shrugging and beginning meditation, leaving to her own thoughts for a while as she worked. Kae pushed most of her feelings out of her mind, concentrating on a stubborn stain, but was unable to fully empty her mind, much to her frustration.

"Still at it?" Knei-Gong asked cheerfully several hours later, scaring Kae and Chichiri, both who had been in their own kind of trance.

"Y-yeah," she nodded, hand over her heart. "You guys have got to quit doing that to me…"

"Sorry," he apologized, and flopped down beside her. "What'd ya do to Huan-Lang anyway? He's just been moping around the whole day."

"I didn't do anything," Kae replied stiffly, before blinking. "How come you call him Huan-Lang, anyway? Doesn't that mean 'phantom wolf'?" she asked, and Knei-Gong nodded with a grin.

"He hasn't mentioned it?" he checked, and she shook her head. "Well, he used to have these spell cards he got from some priest, and all you had to do is write something on it and they'd transform into copies of that thing. And Huan-Lang used wolves," he told her. "But Miaka used 'em all for fake food," he added with a chuckled, and Kae joined with a short laugh.

"From what I've heard of her from Chichiri and Tasuki about her, I can believe that," she told him. "They seem to really have liked her – they still do, I guess. I sometimes feel that I'm intruding, or that I'm trying to take her place," she said sadly. Before Knei-Gong could reply, she dimly smiled dismissively and glanced at Chichiri, who had calmly resumed meditation. "I wish she could do that," she suddenly admitted, shaking her head in disbelief.

"What? Meditation?"

"Well, just blocking out the world," she said thoughtfully, resting her elbows on her knees. "It must be nice, you know? To have it all quiet and empty – I'd like that."

"Really? I wouldn't," he replied calmly, and she looked at him curiously. "I mean, it must get lonely after a while, right? I mean, it's different for a monk, but everyone needs some time with people – even monks," he added, glancing at Chichiri, who was supposedly oblivious to their conversation. "No one really wants to be alone."

"I'm sure someone in this world really wants that," she thought quietly, staring at the washtub that her clothes were now soaking in. Knei-Gong glanced at her in surprise as he leaned back on his palms briefly before jumping to his feet.

"Well, I've got to get those guys to work. Have fun with laundry," he said teasingly, grinning as he waved, walking back to the building. Kae waved back cheerfully before her face fell again, and she heaved a sigh before remembering her laundry.

"Oh, damn!"

"All better?" Chichiri grinned, and nodded as she emerged from the room later that day, her clothes clean and dry.

"Much!" she replied, handing him back the used clothing. "Thanks so much, Chichiri. You're a life-saver – I even managed to get a bath in!" she added cheerfully, sighing in relief as she ran her fingers through her still-damp hair. "That feels so much better than before."

"Daa," he agreed, tucking the clothes under his arm. "And don't worry – we're not having any crabs tonight."

"Thank gosh," she sighed, her hand still bandaged from last night. "I can't believe I did that," she admitted, and the monk grinned.

"Don't worry – everyone does it their first time," he told her. "If we hadn't had stopped her, Miaka would've eaten them whole!"

"It sounds like she was a big part of your life," Kae ventured, and Chichiri looked at her in surprise.

"Well, I guess. I knew I was a Warrior of Suzaku my whole life, after all, and we went through a lot together. But it's not my whole like – just a part," he added thoughtfully, grateful she wasn't aware he had heard her entire conversation with Knei-Gong. "Just like you are now," he continued, sounding teasing so he didn't embarrass her too much. She still turned red and he laughed shortly before continuing down the hall. "And Tasuki would agree, no da," he told her suddenly, and she looked at his back in surprise. "Of course, he won't admit it, but it's true. He's just a softie at heart – and one that's scared of water."

"Really?" she asked eagerly, and Chichiri nodded.

"Not water exactly, but he can't swim," he told her, exaggerating his whispering to her amusement. The tall monk rested his hand on her shoulder comfortingly and resumed walking once more, and his next words were so quiet she wasn't entirely he had even said them. "And you're not a replacement – you're yourself to us."

Kae glanced at him curiously, but his face didn't betray his thoughts, so she suddenly tickled him in the side.

"Daa!" he cried, jumping in surprise and dropping the clothes. "What was that for?" he asked, picking up the bundle. Kae couldn't hold back her laughter at the amazed monk's face and had to hold her sides as she bent over from laughter.

"You…you just looked like you were ticklish there," she gasped, and Chichiri smiled at seeing her laughing so much. "You should…have seen your face!" she managed through giggles. "You looked ridiculous!"

"Daa," he sighed, and shook his head as he proceeded to stride down the hall. Kae managed to stop laughing and raced after him, not wanting to get lost by herself.

"Hey! Hold up, monk!" she ordered, grabbing his arm and almost falling on top of him in her haste. "Sorry," she panted, looking up at him with a smile.

"No problem," he replied cheerfully, smiling down at her. "Let's go, or there won't be anything left to eat."

"Good point," she agreed, and kept a firm grip on Chichiri's sleeve as they headed toward the large room reserved for eating.

"What's the matter?" Kae asked during the feast, noticing a strange look cross Chichiri's face.

"Hm? Nothing," he replied absently, and seemed to be concentrating on something. She eyed him suspiciously for a moment before shrugging and resumed eating – luckily, rice was the main dish this time, saving her fingers from any more wounds.

"Gonna poke your eye out with chopsticks this time?" Knei-Gong asked teasingly, and received a bowl full of rice in the face for his trouble. "Hey!"

"I'm very capable with chopsticks, thanks very much," she replied primly, taking a mouthful of rice as Knei-Gong wiped his face clean.

"Where's Tasuki?" Chichiri asked, and Kae suddenly noticed the bandit was nowhere to be seen.

"I think he's wandering outside somewhere," Knei-Gong shrugged. "You know how Huan-Lang gets."

"No da," the monk agreed, and got to his feet. "I want to talk to Tasuki," he told Kae, "Knei-Gong will take care of you until we get back."

"That's what I'm afraid of," she muttered, narrowing her eyes at the suddenly-happy bandit and turning back to a leaving Chichiri. "Hurry back!"

"Daa!" he nodded, leaving the room.

"Tasuki, what's the matter?"

"Ack! Stop doing that ta me!" Tasuki gasped, sitting on a rock a ways from the building. "I'm just sitting here," he replied calmly, and glanced at his fellow Warrior as Chichiri joined him. "What? You didn't leave Knei-Gong to watch 'er, did ya?"

"She'll be fine," Chichiri told him calmly, and gazed at his friend. "Tasuki, did something happen last night? You've been sulking all day."

"I have not been sulking!" he retorted, but stared stubbornly at the ground. "I just…Kae was crying last night," he admitted, and Chichiri nodded understandingly.

"She's been in a strange mood all day – she's probably homesick," the monk thought. "And I overheard her talking to Knei-Gong – she seems to be worried we think of her as an intruder, or someone trying to replace Miaka. That must be a very lonely feeling to have."

"Hm."

"Tasuki – maybe you should say something to her tonight," Chichiri suggested, and Tasuki whirled on him.

"What're ya saying?" he demanded, eyeing his companion suspiciously.

"I'm just saying," he shrugged carelessly. "I felt a shift in the barrier a bit ago – Keung Xi-Wang's getting closer. We may have to leave soon."

"Figures," Tasuki shrugged as well, and stared at the sky. "I don't know what ya want me ta do with her."

"Just try to talk to her," he prodded, getting to his feet. "I'll leave my staff there again – I infused with a small barrier spell, so if anything happens, it'll protect you long enough to get away."

"That's why it was there last night?" Tasuki realized, and Chichiri nodded.

"No da. I'll get back now, before anything happens to her with those guys. Just remember, Tasuki – we're the only people she knows in this world, and she must be very frightened with everything going on. Her chi is constantly shifting, and I have the feeling something is going to happen soon."

"Yeah, yeah," he waved his hand dismissively, but Chichiri knew his friend had taken his words seriously. Deciding not to say anything further, he climbed down from the rock and headed back to the bandit's place, leaving Tasuki alone to ponder the monk's words.

"Yer already in bed?" Tasuki saw with surprise, coming into the room several hours later. Kae looked up, startled, reclining on the futon fully dressed and with Tama lying atop her torso.

"Well, what about you?" she retorted, and jumped when he started to take off his shirt. "Hey! Wh-what're you doing?" she demanded, turning red. He pulled his shirt off and looked at her curiously before crawling underneath his blanket.

"Don't have a cow. I'm uncomfortable sleepin' in a shirt, that's all," he informed her roughly, folding his arms behind his head and gazing at the ceiling. "Sorry if I hurt yer feelings," he said suddenly, avoiding making any eye contact with the continuously-surprised young woman.

"Huh?"

"Ya don't hafta 'huh' me, ya know," he retorted. "I'm just sayin', that's all!"

"Well, okay," she nodded, and looked at him for a few minutes before continuing to stroke Tama's back. "Thanks, I guess."

"Whatever," he muttered, turning redder than she had. "What're ya sleepin' in ya clothing fer, anyway?" he asked a few moments later. "I thought ya just washed 'em."

"Well…I…"

"I didn't do nothin' ta ya last night," he told her sternly. "I just move around in my sleep a lot, that's all. And it's not like I haven't seen naked women before."

"What are you implying I do?" she demanded, and he smirked at her.

"Nothin',"

"Jerk," she muttered, but glared at him after a few seconds. "Well, close your eyes, then," she ordered, and he obediently shut them, clamping a hand over his eyes for good measure. He heard the rustling of clothing as she hastily changed, and removed his hand when she finally said he could.

"I bet that's more comfortable," he commented, and she shot him a strange look.

"What's with you?" she asked, having put on a long white tunic that went down to her knees, one that Knei-Gong had given her after the feast was over.

"Nothin'," he said again, shrugging slightly. She shook her head and rolled over on her side, her back facing him, and didn't expect him to say anything further. So when he did, she was startled again. "Are ya homesick?" he asked suddenly. She stiffened a little, but didn't turn to look at him, as he remained staring at the ceiling while looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Not so much," she said finally. "I wasn't really close to my family much – but I miss my mom a lot," she admitted. "We were pretty close, but she was really sick when I was…brought here. I wish I knew how much time passed in that world since I've been gone."

"Only a few hours went by in Miaka's time after a few months passed here," he offered, but she sighed.

"I just wish I knew that was still the same or not. I can't help worrying," she said, and then smacked her forehead. "What the hell am I doing telling you this anyway?"

"I don't mind," he told her calmly, and she fell silent as she pondered this new side of the irritating bandit.

"I guess being around you guys just made it worse," she told him finally. "I mean, it's like having a big family around, and I just got lonely, that's all. I'm fine now."

"Liar," he retorted. "Why were ya cryin' last night if yer fine?" Kae remained silent, unable to find an answer to this, and he rolled over to look at her back. "I know we don't get along much, but I still have ta protect ya, so we might as well try, right? So, I'm sorry for the stuff I said that hurt yer feelings," he said again, and stretched out the hand he wasn't resting his head on to her back. She felt his fingertips brush her back, and she remained still for a bit before turning over and surprising him with a smile.

"Sure thing," she nodded, grasping his hand firmly in hers and squeezing it a little longer than she meant to. "Well, good night," she said hastily, rolling back over. Tasuki withdrew his hand but remained watching her, before nodding.

"Sure. Night."

Aw...it seems I always write Tasuki fluff in every chapter, don't I? I just can't help it! It's so much fun to write, ya know? (Writing like Tasuki and Chichiri have affected the way I type in real life at this point...) Hope this chapter is good! Please review.