Breaking Freedom

A few short notes from Lizzeh:

This fic will contain yaoi because I am an addicted fan of the cuteness of boy-on-boy fluff. However, I hate characters who are not in character, so I do my best to keep them IN character. If any happen to stray from that, feel free to tell me about it. I'm open to good criticism, so don't think you'll be hurting my feelings. (However, I can also tell a flame from a review, and you won't be cut any slack for throwing fire around. First and only warning).

I'm definitely one for the strange things, so enjoy this fic like it was actually part of Suikoden III. It's not smut, and it will have a plot. I'd like to hope that all audiences will read it, but we'll see. Whatever happens, happens, ya know? (A review would be awfully nice, tho...)

I don't own the characters or the rights to Suikoden III (I do own a copy of the game and have played it completely through at least once). This is a fictional story to a fictional game, so if you think it's real then get out of your fictional little world; it's FICTION for pete's sake. Rated T because I don't know how to rate things. It could range from K to M for all I know. Depends on my mood and what I feel like writing. Enjoy the ficness, yo.

Chapter 1:

Rody's Night Out

Rody looked around Alma Kinan for the first time unconcerned with his training. He'd been stuck in this place ever since Estella decided it was time to leave home, and up until now it had been a nice place to live. Now the small magician boy wasn't so sure.

He glanced around at all of the women of Alma Kinan. Women. He'd known only women his entire life. His persona suffered a curse of feminity that he no longer thought he could fix because of them. He simply assumed he would be girly his whole life. And so what if he was girly? There was nothing wrong with that.

Was there?

If he never knew any other boys, then how could he know if something was wrong? A lot of confusion swirled around Rody's head at night when he dreamed. He'd dreamt of adventures far away from Alma Kinan, sometimes seeing different types of people and cultures... Unfortunately, in those dreams, every person always ended up as a woman. He longed for an escape from this...this box, this lie!

Estella would surely have a fit if she knew he was slacking in his studies, dreaming about foreign places. She'd have him eating rotten lunch boxes like the last time Rody mentioned sleeping under a new pattern of stars. "We'll leave when I'm ready to leave," she said as she watched Rody gag and force feed himself something utterly disgusting, "After all, we still haven't found that male counterpart of Alma Kinan. Go ask the villagers again if they've heard anything. And clean up; I can't have you smelling like week old milk."

Rody sighed. He stared up at all the lush trees sheltering the small city. They were beautiful trees, huge trees; trees so big they blocked out the sun... He longed to remember how the sun's rays felt on his face. He faintly remembered that as a good feeling, one to treasure, and he felt bad that he'd forgotten it. The sun was one of many things Rody had forgotten about the outside world.

Without the slightest hint she was there, Marine rushed out of a bush and tackled Rody to the ground. He coughed from all the dust that rose up around him. "Mar...ack...ine?"

"Marughine. Me cavegirl today! UGH UGH."

"Really?" Rody laughed. He'd met Marine when she was about three, and she still wasn't talking. Apparently all the villagers thought she would be a shy girl; however, after Rody starting showing her his small fire magic tricks, she turned into a loud-mouthed, unpredictable little nuisance. Rody still loved her, even though she was shunned by her other 'friends'. "Me Rody. Ugh. How you are dayto?"

Marine burst into a fit of childish giggles. "Hehehe...Me good, you thank. Ugh, hehe, ugh."

"Where's your mother, ugh?" Rody stood up, holding Marine in his arms.

"Momma cookies baking. Done in twenty minutes. Want some ugh?"

"I dunno... Estella says m'not supposed to eat sugars. They debalance the magic in me."

Marine raised one dark brown brow at Rody and puffed. "But that's crazy! How can you not eat sugars?"

"Easy. I just don't." Rody tried to smile, but it was hard to hold under Marine's accusing glare.

"You should tell Estella that you don't care 'bout magicks no more and you want some cookies from momma. Ugh! Tell her!"

Rody sat Marine down and patted her on the head. Silly little girl. How could she possibly understand how important his magic was to him? "Maybe later, okay? Erm..Ugh. Bring me one and we might can share it."

"Yay!" Saying that must've cheered her up because Marine skipped merrily back toward her house. Rody sighed and made a point not to come out of his house again today. He dusted himself off and slowly started his journey back.

Rody's house was on the outskirts of Alma Kinan. It was a little ways into the forest, far enough to where Rody got goosebumps if he ever went out alone at night. Even though the trees blocked out the sun, there was still a huge difference in daytime and dark. At night, everything grew stoic and pitch black. Noises coming from the forest would wake Rody from nightmares of giant beatles eating him alive. He was thankful it was only about midday and he could still make out the trees.

Their log housing was very small compared to the larger versions of the actual Alma Kinan villagers. It had only one bedroom, one kitchen/living room, and one storage room. Their bathing place was deeper still into the forest - a small lagoon at the base of a tiny waterfall a mile from their house. It was perfect for showering, but one had to plan the timing accordingly, otherwise get left in the dark.

When Rody entered his house, he noticed his sister wasn't home. It felt a little odd knowing she wasn't there, but - assuming she was off showing - it was nothing new. She was never too far from Rody because there was always something he was doing wrong. That was just the way of it with Masters and Apprentices.

Rody settled for heating himself some tea at the fireplace. He reached back and pulled loose the band holding his hair up while he waited. It fell in dark waves down a little below his shoulders. According to Estella, he was never supposed to let it fall down. If he always kept it up, it was a show of discipline and control (not to mention it made him look a little bit more like a boy). Still, Rody loved his hair. He stood up and went to their bedroom. There was a medium sized pan in the floor filled with water, and he used that to look in like a mirror. Real mirrors were too expensive in Alma Kinan. The only one in the village was hanging in the inn, and it was always swarmed by the children. Rody's reflection showed a sad, worn out femme-boy with dirty clothing and an ugly frown on a pretty face. He splashed the water and went back to the main room just as the door opened.

"Rody, dearest, did you put me on some tea while I was gone? Oh, your such a doll."

Fumbling with his hair - and thankful Estella was so glad about the tea that she hadn't noticed it was down - Rody made a mad dash across the room to pour his sister some tea. His own mouth felt dry, but if it would keep her shut up about training just for this one time it would be worth it. Wasn't like he was going to get any of that tea now anyway.

"Have you practiced your water magic yet today?" Estella asked. She took the steaming cup and held it gingerly in one hand while she stared at Rody expectantly.

"No, Estella. Not yet. I was going to wait until tom---"

"What! Wait? With training? Are you out of your loonly little mind, boy! There is no time to be wasting! You're already too far behind in your earth magic, and now this! I'm ashamed, Rody."

"Wait! Please, I made plenty of progress with my lightning magic yesterday..."

"Yes, but you still have major weaknesses. Waiting; pha! I hope I don't ever hear those words come out of your mouth ever again. It's bad enough you can't learn at the snail's pace I set you, much less when you slack off."

"I'm sorry..."

"You should be. Now. As punishment, you are to go to the waterfall and sit under it for an entire day meditating. And by entire day I mean you start this intant."

Rody's mouth fell open. "B-but it gets dark soon!"

Estella only grinned like the wicked sister she was. "I know. That will be part of the challenge. Now, off with you before I change my mind and make it two days. Go!"

Rody dashed out of the house with a heavy chain on his heart. That was another thing that had always been the same way: Estella. She never wanted to just stop and take a look at the simple things with Rody. She always had training on her mind, and sometimes Rody thought she might be taking it too far. He was too scared of her to ever say anything. And she was right most of the time anyway. He was showing weakness by feeling sad right now!

Rody ran through the forest shrubbery and tried very hard to stop the hot tears painting his face. But it was no use. They rolled down his cheeks regardless. Why was he so girly? Why was his training so hard? Why couldn't he just have a normal sister who wanted to do sibling things every now and then?

The forest grew darker. The noises Rody heard in his nightmares were starting to sound all too real. Things started slithering in and out of black niches in trees, from under logs, and behind boulders. He tripped more than once, and felt his heart beat faster each time. He knew that most of this had to be his imagination, right? Forests weren't this scary.

But wait...where was the waterfall? Shouldn't it be right there, behind those rocks? And where was the path that led to the waterfall? Wasn't it supposed to be right there, under Rody's feet? The sudden realization that he was lost hit Rody like a blacksmith's hammer.

He could literally feel the darkness coming in all around him. He wanted to scream but he coudn't find his voice. His feet were rooted to that one spot, glued to the ground he knew was solid. All he could do was stand there and watch in horror as the light grew thinner and thinner, until he was left in a sea of black.