Chapter Twenty Two

And All the World Was Mine

Nymphadora Tonks was staring blankly at the heavy oak door of her flat, so lost in musings over a particularly exciting episode that took place in front of it that she nearly jumped off the sofa as it opened."Where the hell have you been, Remus? I've been waiting for hours!"

Remus sighed, depositing a heavy knapsack next to the door. "Don't exaggerate, Nymphadora. I am only an hour late."

Having heard those exact words in that exact tone at least a thousand times from either one of her parents over the years, Tonks found that her flare of irritation overcame even her tempting impulse to have her way with him against the very door she had been contemplating. "Don't talk to me like you're my father, Remus!"

Remus did not take the bait. Instead, he leant over to kiss her on the cheek, shocking her with his next words, "As a matter of fact, that's where I've been. Talking to your father, that is - he caught me as I was leaving."

Tonks really did not like the idea of her skittish lover and her overprotective father having any interaction without her acting as a buffer. "What did he want?" she said slowly.

"To talk about you, mostly." He sat down, stretching his legs out in front of him and brushing his hair out of his eyes

"What about me?" she asked.

Remus smiled. "Well, for one thing, he liked your new hair style."

"My what?" Her hands automatically went to the top of her head.

Remus continued to smile, looking down at his knees. "And then, of course, he wanted to know what my intentions are."

"That's not funny, Remus," she said, her eyes narrowing.

Remus looked directly at her then. "I'm actually quite serious."

Tonks jumped up, sputtering and pacing back and forth between the door and the sofa. "That bloody hypocrite! Has no right to talk! As if he wasn't shagging Mum in the Potions lab or the bloody broom cupboard or under the weeping willow at Hogwarts for nearly two years…"

Remus shook his head, laughing softly. "Go Ted. I'm impressed; I mean, I knew that Slughorn was oblivious, but not that oblivious."

"Remus!" She stopped and stared at him, scandalized. This coming from a teacher, she thought, especially when she saw the devilish glint in his eyes that would have looked much more appropriate on Sirius. It occurred to her that he ought to have been much more uncomfortable than she was about her father's meddling, which got her thinking about her father again, which then got her back onto her rant. "What century does he think we're in, anyway?"

"Actually, Nymphadora, I think you're missing the point. He is probably concerned - and for a good reason, I have to add - that after a few days of bliss with you, I will decide that I don't deserve it and take off again. He doesn't want to see you hurt."

Remus' words hit a nerve, but she was too focused on her anger to dwell on it much. "None of Dad's business, is it?"

"Well, in theory, no, it isn't. But you did give your parents a bit of a fright over the last year, and they must be wondering, with good reason, if you can handle any more pain from me."

He looked incredibly guilty as he said it, and that made her even angrier. "Oh, for Pete's sake. If I can handle it? I swear, Remus, none of you, not you, not my parents, not the bloody interfering Weasleys, have any idea of just what I can handle. Has it ever occurred to you that during the past year - while I was supposedly 'pining away' for you - I managed to do not only my own job well, but also loads of extra work for the Order? I very rarely had a single day that had less than ten hours of work in it, including weekends…"

"You looked more than tired, you looked ill, not to mention miserable…"

"Every time I woke up…I found myself wondering what sort of dreadful news the day would bring, and for good reason! I'd lost people - my grandfather, Sirius…Did you know that Amelia Bones had made herself something of a mentor to all the girls on the squad? And I was there. I saw what happened to her…do you have any clue how horrific that crime scene was? And Emmeline…she used to bring me the most wonderful books…" She felt the back of her eyes prickling and looked down at the ground.

"Really, Nymphadora, nobody is trying to dismiss what you've been through…"

"And those weren't the only crime scenes, I'll never get some of these images out of my head. These Death Eaters aren't playing games. Torture, and fire, and…"

He cut her off, "I thought you were assigned to the school…"

"Well, yes, but I got called in on a lot of emergencies, as a matter of fact I volunteered for a lot of them because I wanted to be able to report to the Order."

"I'm sorry…" He was sitting forward with his elbows on his knees, looking thoroughly miserable, but she kept on talking, tired of being perceived as weak.

"And if there was ever any hint of werewolf involvement, I wanted to be one of the first on the scene if anything happened to you, partly so that I could be the first to know, and also to see if I could help you if you got into trouble. Which means that I got called in to look at a lot of Greyback's work…"

He looked horrified. "Oh, god…"

She had never meant to tell him any of this, but the words kept spilling out of her mouth. "Not to mention that I couldn't metamorph, no matter how hard I tried, and the attempts were exhausting, so then I had to get out my old Transfiguration and Charms books to learn to do it the hard way, so there were hours of studying every night…"

He interrupted her, asking the one question that nobody else had the nerve to ask her. "Why couldn't you transform, Nymphadora?"

She shook her head. "Too tired, too sad, too discouraged. Part of my gift has to do with my personality. I have to be in a relatively good mood, which I used to be most of the time. But bad things just kept on happening and I was worried about you, as I would have been whether you'd chucked me or not. But all anyone could think of was that I was pining away for you. It never occurred to anyone that I was too busy to eat much, and that I had neither the time nor the inclination to fuss with my looks. People can be really superficial, you know?"

Remus looked like he couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. "Yes, I know…"

She started pacing again. "And my parents, they just kept looking at me with pity in their eyes, and it really pissed me off because they just didn't get it, nobody did..."

He had managed to sneak up behind her while her back was turned, and she felt his hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him. "Nymphadora, I didn't mean for you to feel that you had to defend yourself. I've never doubted your abilities or strength."

She stared fixedly at the frayed collar of his jumper, muttering, "But my parents did…"

"No, they didn't." he said gently. "You're going to have to trust me on this. But, I can completely understand your father's points. As a matter of fact, it isn't the first conversation we've had about this…"

She stepped back, looking at him with wide eyes. "What?"

"I'd spelled out the obstacles that we face during that other conversation. I think he has a right to display some fatherly concern, particularly given my past behavior. Not to mention that I'm sure that someone like me is the very last thing he would have chosen as a son-in-law, so, all things considered, he's being more than fair."

"But it's none of his business…" she said stubbornly.

Remus smiled indulgently. "He was actually very helpful, and if you will stop interrupting me I will explain why."

He took her hand and led her back to the sofa, practically forcing her to sit down and listen to him. "You see; I always assumed that it was impossible for us to get married at this point. Mainly because of all the new legislation, of course. I had actually thought about going about it the Muggle way, but it occurred to me that people like Umbridge will almost certainly have spies in the Muggle government. Your father seemed to agree when I explained this to him, but he is very tenacious, and also happens to know his way around the Muggle world better than I do. He suggested that we go to another country."

She shook her head, trying to ignore her sudden increase in heart rate. "Really, Remus, this is completely unnecessary…"

He ignored her. "Of course, the moment we request an international Portkey, our actions are traceable, and an Auror and a werewolf travelling abroad together would certainly be noticed. I thought of France, but I suspect that the two Ministries are tied too closely together to risk it. And I can't afford to travel the Muggle way any further abroad. When I mentioned this to your father, he insisted upon taking on the whole project himself. He rationalized that he'd always planned on paying for your wedding anyway, so there was no reason not to accept his help. However, he made me promise to let him be the one to break it to your mother and to be prepared to allow her to plan a second, more traditional wedding when and if our situation improves. Oh, and we had to promise to take a photograph of it."

Remus pretended not to see Tonks' look of bewilderment and kept on, sounding for all the world as though he was making plans for the next Order meeting. "Now, of course, there will be some complications: I mean, to travel and to get a marriage license you have to have a certain amount of Muggle paperwork, but apparently, your grandfather had a friend who was rather talented at forging things like that…"

"Uncle Angus," she said in a small voice.

Remus nodded and continued. "So your father set out to arrange things with him, and set Julie to making hotel and flight arrangements, and apparently all we have to do is pack…"

She waited for him to continue - to laugh with her about her father's audacity and then to tell her how he told Ted Tonks to mind his own bloody business, but Remus seemed to be finished with his story and expected some sort of response from her. "What, Remus?"

"I just wondered if any of it sounded reasonable to you…"

She stared at him, her mouth agog. "You mean you're going along with his mad scheme?"

"I think it certainly could solve a lot of problems…"

"But…"

"And I couldn't have asked for a more obvious stamp of approval from your parents -- well from your father anyway…"

"But…" she sputtered.

"And we may not get the chance later, I mean, not much is happening until Dumbledore's funeral next week, and Kingsley said he would make arrangements to cover your guard duty, and the Death Eaters always seem to lay low after a major event like this…"

He talked to Kingsley, too? "But…"

"And I honestly think that he, Dumbledore, I mean, would have approved…"

"But…"

He covered her hands with his own, looking a little nervous, which was really not like him. "What is it, love?"

"Do you really want…I mean, are you sure…?" She took a deep breath and said, with a note of accusation in her voice, "You haven't even asked me to marry you."

That devilish glint was back in his eyes, and she suddenly realized that it suited him very well, after all. He said, "No need, is there? You already asked me. Twice, if I'm not mistaken. Or, didn't you mean it?"

Tonks wondered, for a moment, if she'd forgotten how to breathe. Something huge and terrifying and wonderful was swelling up inside her body. "Well, yeah, I...of course I did. But I didn't think you'd take me seriously."

He took her face in his hands, touching her forehead with his own and gazing at her earnestly. "I always take you seriously, love. This is honestly what I've wanted since the first morning that we woke up together. I really rather wish I'd given into the impulse then. But at least this way there can be no doubts between us."

She gulped, blinking back tears. "Oh, Remus…"

"Nymphadora, I'm not going to be stupid enough to let you slip through my fingers after all we've been through. And I refuse to live half a life anymore. Now I realize that it's probably not the marriage or even the ceremony that you dreamed of as a little girl, but it would mean a lot to me, knowing that we took this step."

She laughed, trying not to make a fool of herself by sobbing. "Stupid man. Do I look like the kind of girl who dreamed about an elaborate wedding? When I was a little girl--when I allowed myself to consider that someday I might have the absurd impulse to marry a boy, disgusting as they were, I think I pictured getting married on a Quidditch pitch—in uniform, mind you. Then when I got to be a teenager and thought of marriage, I pictured myself wearing head to toe black - including hair and lipstick."

Remus raised his eyebrow at that, and said, "Well, I have been told that that where we are going, it won't really matter what we wear. Your father even said we could wear wizard robes without attracting a second glance…"

Tonks laughed again, and this time without any tears welling up behind her eyes. "Don't worry, I won't show up looking like Auntie Bella. But what should I wear?"

"We'll find you something there. Or you could wear your Weird Sisters tee shirt. I don't really care." He pulled her into his arms, and she felt the tears creeping back again.

"Are we…Are you sure this is what you want, Remus?"

"More than anything," he murmured into her ear. "But we will miss our flight if we don't hurry."

She jumped up. "Give me ten minutes."

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Mine. Remus looked absently out the window toward the gaudy blazing lights that never seemed to shut off. He thought about the people casually throwing away money that would have taken Remus years of work to earn, just a few floors below him. He thought about the conventioneers who were betraying their loved ones with strangers, or worse yet - the working girls who hung around the cocktail lounges. He thought of the lonely, desperate people who were, even at this late hour, marrying impulsively and changing their minds months, weeks, or even days later.

Mine. He tightened his hold on the young woman sleeping with her body wrapped around his. His wife. More than he'd ever dreamed, more than he deserved, but somehow, with the blessing of her family, with the approval of their friends, at the worst possible time…

Mine. The wolf, for once, seemed to be in complete agreement.

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Tonks stood in front of the mirror, scowling, wearing nothing more than black lace bra and black and pink knickers covered in the words, 'bite me.' Remus tried to tear his eyes away from them without laughing, but she caught his reflection in the glass. "Like 'em? I found them on our little holiday. I was saving them for a special occasion."

He raised an eyebrow. "And you chose today?"

"Perfect for sitting there gritting my teeth while those Ministry arseholes give off platitudes about how much they respected him and such crap."

He walked behind her and kissed her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her waist. He looked at the two of them in the mirror. "Highly appropriate, then."

She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Plus, I'm hoping you'll be thinking about taking their advice later on tonight - my knickers, I mean."

Remus, who had been just about to kiss her shoulder again, turned it into a nibble, and teased, "So says the woman who turned my neck positively purple the other night. I sometimes wonder if you aren't a vampire, love."

She grinned, and the slightest bit of pink touched her cheeks. "Who says I'm not? Makes us a perfectly odd couple, wouldn't you say?"

Remus smiled indulgently, but reminded her, "We really need to be leaving soon."

She sighed. "I just can't decide what to do with my hair."

He looked up at her hair, which was still orange from the day before. "It looks good to me, but then it always does. Is there a problem?"

"Well, the irreverent knickers are one thing, but I am aware that I ought to look a bit more somber and respectful than normal. Black, d'you think, or brown?'

"Pink," he said decisively.

Her eyes widened and she turned around to look him in the face. "What?"

"Pink. He would have loved it." He reached out to touch her hair affectionately.

"Reckon you're right, love," she said, and her hair changed color under his fingers.

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Tonks eyed the rapidly dispersing crowd, nodding at a few acquaintances, smiling at friends, and trying not to grin foolishly about the fact that Remus was actually holding her hand in public. Andromeda, who had sat next to her at the funeral, caught her eye as she stood surrounded by some of the more stodgy people that Tonks remembered from a childhood filled with boring dinner parties.

Tonks caught a flash of red hair out of the corner of her eye and then suddenly found herself smothered by a fierce hug from Molly. "Oh, Tonks, dear, so good to see you. I wanted to let you know that you are welcome to come back to the Burrow for tea and cake this evening. We need to pick up the children at the station, and then we thought…maybe, well you know--those that really loved him…"

"We'll be there, Molly."

"Lovely, dear." Molly leaned forward and whispered into her ear, "Oh, and congratulations. Arthur and I were thrilled when we heard. You'll have to tell me all about it when you come over."

Tonks couldn't control the smile that spread across her face. "I give you a lot of the credit, Molly."

Molly waved her hand in dismissal, but still managed to preen a little. "Until later, dear. Oh, and be sure to tell your parents about tonight."

"I will, Molly."

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Tonks' ears popped with the release of pressure, and she looked around the familiar sitting room of her childhood home.

"Good to be home," said Ted, sinking into his favorite recliner and Summoning a bottle of beer.

"Not one of my best days," said Remus, sitting cautiously on the edge of the sofa, looking as if he were going to jump up and bolt through the door at any moment.

"I'll make a pot of coffee," said Andromeda, and Tonks knew that she would come back with no less than three kinds of canapés.

"Going to use the loo upstairs," said Tonks, hoping that her mother would not have thrown away her daughter's remaining boxes of yoga pants and roomy tee-shirts.

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She took more time than she really needed to, gazing around her old bedroom and trying to conjure the carefree, moderately cheerful young woman who used to live there. She spent a good deal of time sitting cross-legged on her mattress, staring out the bay window that would always be her most nostalgic view of the world. After a while, there was a soft knock on the door.

"Dora?" came softly through the gap, and she knew without question that her father was on the other side of the door.

"Ta, dad. Be down in a sec."

"You're too kind a girl to leave your poor lad down there with your mother, love. And I'm not about to give her a chance to turn on me about that little ceremony that I helped to arrange but didn't invite her to. Why don't you summon up some of that bloody famous Gryffindor courage of yours and stand beside us?"

"Is she really…"

"Come and see, love."

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Tonks came down the stairs to find her mother in mid-rant, but fortunately, Remus was not the object of her ire.

"…Bloody stupid toad of a woman," said Andromeda, her dark eyes flashing. "I wanted to tear her limb from limb. How dare she show up in the first place! And then to have the unmitigated gall to say that she respected him with that nasty smug smile of hers. She was positively gloating over his death, at his own funeral. He humiliated her, and she thinks he got what he deserved."

Remus smiled, looking down at the floor and shaking his head. "It was my understanding that the humiliation of Dolores Umbridge was something of a group effort, Andromeda, carried out by every student at Hogwarts, put into motion by the Weasley twins, and aided and abetted by the staff. Oh, and Peeves the Poltergeist. Dumbledore was never anything but polite to her and actually saved her life. She'd been taken captive by a herd of angry centaurs."

Andromeda snorted. "Well, surely being rescued by him must have been humiliating. And I am certain he was ever so polite about it, which would have angered her even more in hindsight. And then--the filth that I spotted in her mind when she looked over at you, Remus, dear! Nasty, bigoted hypocrite. I could just murder her."

Tonks decided to step in before her mother said something that Remus would brood over, later. "You really ought to stop reading the minds of people whom you know to be mad, Mother - or at least, the venom you find there shouldn't surprise you. Dolores Umbridge will get her just desserts some day, but I doubt it'll be you that'll serve it to her. She's already been humiliated, and her reputation is in ruins; the rest we'll leave up to karma.

Andromeda pursed her lips, muttering, "I do hate that woman."

"Good," said Tonks, "Overthrow her hateful legislation. Even better, come up with some of your own, giving werewolves and part-humans more rights, not less. That'll piss her off more than anything."

"I know a couple of lovely curses," began Andromeda, but Tonks stopped her again.

"So do I… So does Remus, for that matter. But if anybody's going to get into trouble leaping to his defense, it's going to be me. And I've got bigger fish to fry; namely your lovely sister and my greasy former Potions master."

Remus, who couldn't help but look pleased, despite his embarrassment, added, "Really, Andromeda, I've been fighting these battles for years, and I've found that anger and bitterness do much more harm than good."

Andromeda walked over and laid her hand on his shoulder. "Maybe for a…maybe for a wolf, darling. But I am a Black, and one of the last respectable ones at that. My name still holds a little power in this world, and I have a few galleons jingling in the pockets of my robes. Not to mention, I am a Tonks, too, and you will find that the Tonkses are a tenacious lot."

"I rather suspected that," said Remus ruefully.

You can't even begin to imagine, Remus dear. Anyway, I simply won't rest until you are recognized for the admirable man that you are. Just you try to stop me."

Remus put his hand over his mother-in-law's, saying, "No, Andromeda. I think that I will just sit back and marvel at your determination.

Andromeda's smile was blinding. "Very good Remus. I like a man who knows how to pick his battles. You'll fit in with this family nicely. And speaking of which…"

Three voices chimed in simultaneously before she could really get going.

"Mother…"

"Er, about that…"

"Andie…"

Andromeda ignored them. "How could you go sneaking off like that…"

Ted tried to reach for her hand, saying, "Blame me, Andie, dear."

"We needed to be discreet," Remus tried to explain.

"It was just between Remus and me, anyway," Tonks muttered.

Andromeda raised her voice. "Didn't even let me invoke a mother's right to help you pick out a dress…"

Ted snorted. "That would have been the beginning of World War Three and you know it, Andie."

"There wasn't time," Remus said.

"I wore a perfectly lovely dress - ask Remus," Tonks declared.

Andromeda tried a different tact. "But not to even allow me the chance to hang your wedding picture on the wall…"

Ted snorted again. "That'd be something nice to show all your friends who are married to Ministry members, now wouldn't it? The whole point was to be discreet."

Andromeda immediately became defensive. "As if I don't know how to be discreet, Ted! But I just wanted one for my own sentimental purposes…"

"We did bring you a picture," Remus said quietly.

Both Tonkses turned and looked at Remus.

"I brought it with me, actually," he continued. "I'd hoped to see you today, but I didn't think that a, well, funeral was an appropriate place to show it to you. And Andromeda, I sincerely wish you could have been there - more than you can imagine. I've grown rather fond of you both. But, as Nymphadora said, at the moment it really is just a private arrangement between us. It has no meaning whatsoever in the Wizarding world, however much it meant to us. If, someday, our options improve, I promise that we will let you plan something more, well…public. Not a three-ring circus, mind you, but something more…traditional."

Andromeda lit up like a candle. "Oh, Remus, you really are a dear man. Let's see the picture, then"

"Of course." He took out his wand and with a measured flick of his wrist, a large white envelope appeared in his hands. "It's a Muggle photograph, of course, but…"

Andromeda pounced, snatching the envelope from his hands and practically tearing it open. "Oh, Nymphadora," she said, her voice sounding suspiciously thick. "You looked lovely. Your hair…it looks so pretty, up like that, and the robes, I mean, the dress…it looks like…It's just what I might have picked out."

"I thought so too, Mum. I saw it, and...Well, anyway, some of your lessons have sunk in, and if there ever was a time to look elegant, this was it."

Andromeda gave her daughter a fierce embrace, and both of them had tears in their eyes. Then she turned to Remus, and hugged him even more tightly. He seemed to be doing a lot of blinking.

Andromeda walked over to her husband to share the picture with him. He grinned broadly, meeting Remus' eyes and nodding his approval.

"But Nymphadora, why on earth are you carrying red robes in your arms?"

"It's a cape, Mum. And it was a private joke for Remus. He made me take it off, but I did get a good belly laugh out of him first."

"Oh, Nymphadora…" Andromeda said with a sigh, but she was smiling in spite of herself. "And why is that man wearing such a ridiculous costume, anyway? It looks like something Dumbledore might have worn. I thought you were supposed to be married by Muggles. Clerics or judges or something like that, wasn't it?"

Tonks could tell that her father was trying not to laugh. "That's an Elvis costume, Andie, dear"

"Elvis?" Andromeda turned to Remus. "Elvis?"

Ted spared his new son-in-law the necessity of coming up with a reason for something he didn't entirely understand. "My idea, Andie dear. I used Dad's money, so I reckoned Dad ought to have a little say in the matter. He would have loved it."

Andromeda sighed, but smiled fondly. "I suppose you're right, Ted. And if they're going to be married by a Muggle, Elvis is as good as any. But I hope that all of you understand that there will be another wedding someday, and it will be done right. I've been waiting for this for nearly twenty-five years, after all--maybe even longer. I certainly didn't get the wedding of my dreams."

"Although," she added after noticing her husband's downcast eyes, "I did get the man of my dreams, so it doesn't really matter."

Ted looked back at her and beamed, walking up to kiss her firmly on the mouth. Tonks looked over at Remus, rolling her eyes, but then he smiled in response and followed the example of his brand new father-in-law, kissing her until she was dizzy from it.

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Remus sat on a bench in the back garden of Grimmauld place, staring unseeing at the rosebush in front of him. He looked as if he had just been run over by the Knight Bus.

"Wotcher," said Tonks gently, placing her hand on his shoulder.

He reached up for Tonks' hand automatically. "Hello, Nymphadora."

"How's it going?"

"Oh, just fine, I suppose. Has everybody left?"

Tonks sat down next to him, curling her feet under her legs and leaning on his shoulder "Everyone but Bill, Charlie and Fleur. They really want us to go out with them tonight."

"I don't know…"

"He voted for you Remus. I think maybe it's time…"

Remus put his arm around her. "This has nothing to do with Charlie, Nymphadora. He's a good lad…A good man, rather. I'm just…I've had a bit of a shock, you understand."

She looked up at him and smiled broadly. "I'm not shocked."

His arm tightened around her. "Yes, but then again you've always seen me through rose-coloured glasses. The rest of them…"

"You have always been the glue that holds this group together. You were always the one to appease, to negotiate, to soothe ruffled feathers. You're approachable, even more so than Dumbledore was--not so intimidating."

Remus snorted. "A non- threatening werewolf. Bit of an oxymoron, don't you think?"

"For anybody else but you. Besides, you've come up with a lot of really good plans in the past. Everyone remembers things like that."

"I honestly thought it would be Mad-eye. When he nominated me, I just about fell out of my chair. He's the one that would be a natural leader, and yet he wanted me…"

"He's not the easiest person to approach. Not to mention, well…mad. And then, Minerva's got quite enough on her plate at the moment. Arthur's too busy, Molly's too...emotional, Hestia's far too timid, Dung is, well, Dung…not to mention still in prison. Most of the rest of us are too young to garner enough respect. Besides, I think 'leader of the Order of the Phoenix' will look pretty damn good on your resume."

Remus shook his head. "I never thought it possible…you can't imagine how this makes me feel…"

"Accepted? Respected? Welcome? Maybe even beloved. All things that have been true for years now, Remus. You just don't accept them very graciously."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Am I ungracious?"

"No, not really. Just a little pig-headed at times." She popped up to kiss the end of his nose.

He rested his forehead on hers. "Now there's a textbook instance of the pot calling the kettle black…"

She grinned. "Hey, we Tonkses wear our stubbornness as a badge of honour."

"Ah, but you're a Lupin, now, at least to me."

"So, what does that make me - a sexy beast?"

"Well, you always were that." He pulled her on his lap, kissing her hungrily.

"None of that, now love. People are waiting for us." She jumped up and tried to tug him out of his seat.

He sighed. "Oh, all right. But let's try to convince them to go somewhere that won't clean out my Gringott's vault, okay?"

"Bill's paying. I reckon it's something like a sign of respect for the Alpha male of the pack." With a wink, she pulled him by the hand through the back door and into the house.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Very funny."

"I'm quite serious, and anyway, Bill can afford it. Those curse breakers get hazard pay, you know. And he did mention that he was hoping that you would allow him to buy you a steak. He said he suddenly feels a great desire to bond with you over red meat."

Remus laughed. "Well, I suppose that the promise of a juicy steak can overcome even my distaste at sharing a table with your ex-boyfriend and the most self-absorbed woman on earth."

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"Professor Lupin?"

Remus looked up from the parchment he was studying to find Hermione Granger hovering in the doorway of the library. He smiled warmly. "Hermione, you really need to get used to calling me Remus."

"I'm sorry, Remus. It seems so…" She shook her head and waved a hand in dismissal. "Well, anyway, I wanted to ask you a question. It's about the books in the attic."

"What about them?" he asked.

"Well, the box had your name on it. Actually, it had 'Great Uncle Alphard,' but then the name was crossed out and it said 'Moony.' That's you, isn't it?" She took a few steps further into the room, standing in front of him as if she were about to give an oral essay.

"Yes it is. I had almost forgotten, but Sirius left me some books. I didn't have the heart to go through them at first, and since then, well a lot of things happened." He leaned back in his chair, trying to set her at ease.

Hermione blushed and continued, "Well, anyway, I know I should have asked first, but I didn't want to waste time and come back down. I was looking through Sirius' parent's books up there, because I am looking for books that might mention…well, books that will help us on our…project."

She paused and said, somewhat apologetically, "So I opened the boxes."

Remus smiled in reassurance. "That's quite all right. If I remember, Sirius' uncle Alphard was not particularly fond of the dark arts, so the books should have been quite safe to open. Possibly pornographic, but otherwise safe."

Hermione blushed an even deeper red then, but continued, "Well, no, they weren't magical at all, actually. Nor were they, well…dirty. Actually some were, but only by certain fundamentalist standards…"

She caught his raised eyebrow and stopped, mid-tangent. "Anyway, what I meant to say was…I think you need to take a look at them. They're novels and the like."

He nodded. "Yes, I seem to recall Sirius mentioning that his uncle had a fondness for Muggle literature. Come to think of it, that's how he convinced me to let him leave them to me in his will. He knew that I have a similar inclination."

"Well, the thing is, sir…"

"Remus…" he insisted.

She blew out sharply. "The thing is, Remus, I suspect…some of them are quite rare…valuable really. I saw a couple of first editions in there."

"What?"

"Yes! I mean there were several boxes, and if all of them are full…Well, that is to say, it would be worth a lot of money…to a collector anyway."

"You're joking." But, no, she looks like she is about to burst from excitement.

"Never about books, Professor…I mean, Remus. If you like, we could get my dad to take a look at them, or rather, to have a friend of his take a look at them. He – my dad's friend, that is - is a dealer, and I'm sure very trustworthy."

Remus' mind was spinning as he tried to take it in. "But…"

"Of course, you may want to keep them - they're very special - but in that case, they ought to be protected somehow. Who knows what kind of mold could have gotten into the boxes? But if you did want to sell them…"

"Of course I'd want to sell them…but really, they ought to go to Harry."

Her eyes flashed in indignation. "Like hell they should, Professor! He wouldn't take them, and he's going through quite enough at the moment, so don't you dare even mention it to him! Besides, Sirius quite clearly left them to you, and I imagine I could rally the whole Order around me to guilt you into taking them, particularly Molly Weasley…"

Remus held up his hands in defeat. "Enough! Please don't say anything to Molly; I'll never hear the end of it, Hermione."

She nodded decisively. "Right, then. Well, shall we take a look at them? I'm dying to find out what's in the other boxes."

She practically ran out of the room. Remus had no choice but to follow, and as they ascended the staircase, he said, (to her back) "Hermione, after we've looked at these books, I will assist you in looking through the other magical books in the house. If I had known what you were doing, I would have helped you before this."

She turned, giving him a regretful look. "But I can't tell you what I'm looking for, Remus."

"Still, I don't think Ron or Harry would be particularly happy if you get hit by a curse from a dark book in the attic with no one to hear you scream for help. You must allow me to at least watch over you. Besides, I have always suspected that Kreacher used the attic as something of a storage area. He may have the place booby-trapped, or he could have left some dark objects up there that you wouldn't like to come across unawares."

She gave him a long, hard look and sighed in resignation. "You're probably right, Remus. Thank you."

"If what you suspect about those books is correct, it will be me that will owe you thanks; you may very well change my life. You've got quite a talent for noticing things that other people never would have looked at twice. It's lucky you're on our side, isn't it?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remus decided not to tell Tonks about Hermione's find until he got a chance to confirm everything through Hermione's friend. The day that he got his answer and an estimated figure, he was so thunderstruck that he spent a good two hours wandering around Muggle London, shaking his head in wonder. It certainly wasn't a fortune. But it was a chance for a little breathing room. It meant the ability to hold his head up a little higher, because the burden of an uncertain future was lifted from his shoulders.

He thought about his friend Sirius, who had sometimes been so maddening, so selfish and immature, who would suddenly and completely redeem himself by a single act of bravery or self-sacrifice. He thought about the day that Sirius had showed up at his back door, filthy, ragged and starving, giving Remus the news he had dreaded for twelve years; the news that the war had begun again, and that Remus was needed in the fight.

Remus, who had spent the previous year wallowing in his private hell of grief and self-loathing, of pity and alienation, was forced to come out of his shell and be a part of something important again. And that meant caring about something again, and eventually caring about people, too - people who could very easily be taken away, as Sirius had so painfully demonstrated less than a year later. But Remus could never have said no, because deep down he craved the opportunity to be a part of something - to prove to others that there was more to Remus Lupin than a debilitating condition.

By coaxing Remus out of his self-imposed exile, Sirius had weakened the dam that Remus had built over his heart. He had always cared about Sirius - loved him as a brother, actually. But, Sirius needed him, too - as a calming influence, as the voice of reason, and as a bridge to the past. Remus let Sirius back into his heart, and soon found that there was room for others, too.

Soon enough, the Dumbledore found his way back in, and then the Weasleys, who managed to sneak in when he wasn't looking. And then, of course, there was Harry, whom Remus had cut from his life out of guilt, knowing that he had thoughtlessly, unforgivably, put Harry's life in danger. But Harry didn't seem to see it that way, and Remus found that he had never really stood a chance against loving James and Lily's son.

And then there was Nymphadora.

Remus felt he owed Sirius for her, too. Not only did Sirius introduce them, slyly encouraging their growing friendship but his unexpected death had been the catalyst - the very thing that had broken down all of Remus' defenses. Remus used to feel guilty about that, too—hating the fact that he had benefited from his friend's death, but he suspected that Sirius would have found it highly gratifying.

And now, nearly two years later, he found that he owed Sirius even more.

If Remus listened hard enough, he thought he could hear Sirius' barking laugh somewhere off in the distance, congratulating himself about putting one over on old Moony.

Books.

The very things that Sirius never really seemed to have time for. The things that he had teased Remus about throughout school.

Can't get lucky with a book, Moony.

Apparently, you could.

A book could teach you how turn a friend's dreaded nights of suffering into a highly anticipated nights of adventure.

A book could help you tell a girl you love her.

A book could, just possibly, tell you how to save the world from evil.

And a book could change a friend's life-- giving him financial security, working wonders on his self-esteem.

Thank you, Padfoot. For everything.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remus, his heart pounding, his ears roaring with his own blood and the sounds of destruction around him, searched frantically through the smoke for a hint of his wife's bright hair.

"Remus!" he heard to his left, and he felt a wave of relief wash over him.

"Nymphadora!" He ducked into the broom cupboard that he remembered from his Marauders days, throwing his arms around her.

"I'm so glad you got here so quickly!"

"I saw the Dark Mark and I panicked. Who was it?" He always tried to tell himself that he could handle any other loss but Nymphadora, but that mantra never really managed to quell the panic that he felt for the other Order members who had become more than a family to him.

Tonks' eyes were wide with fear. "We don't know yet. I suspect…I'm afraid it's more than one. I got here with Moody but I haven't seen him in a while. I keep seeing red hair running through the smoke, but I can't tell you how many of the Weasleys arrived before I got here. Hagrid ran by a while back."
Remus peered through the smoke again, trying to see anything. "What happened?"

"The kids, Harry…the three of them…they're here. They've been hiding here for weeks now, working on something in Snape's dungeon. As far as I know, that's where they are still, but we can't get to it. Minerva told me that Voldemort found a way to get past the wards. She thinks she saw him. I've seen a few of his followers running around. I could swear I saw Bellatrix, and Minerva said that Wormtail was here, too, and Gibbon, and possibly…Snape." Their eyes met, and the heated discussions they had been having about him lately were on both of their minds. "Now I guess we'll find out which of us was right, Remus."

Remus said, "Greyback is here too. I can smell him. If Snape is here, then he will likely know how to find Harry, whether to protect him or lead Voldemort to him. Now, I want you to stay here and give me cover, and I am going to go in and…"

She glared at him. "Oh no you don't, Remus Lupin! We go in together."

Remus sighed, not really having time to argue. "Nymphadora, I am the one who is supposed to give orders…"

"Together, Lupin, or I will knock you on your arse and go by myself," she growled.

"Stubborn woman," Remus muttered

"Yes, and you love me for it."

"That I do."

"I love you too.

"Together…"

"On three…"