(Authoress Note)

Lyall: Konichiwa. O genki desu ka?

Zelos: What...? I don't speak Mizuhoan.

Sheena: She's saying hello and asking are if you are well.

Zelos: Yes, I'm fine, my hunny.

Lyall: (sweatdrop) Um...right. Anyway, Icion will be back shortly, I presume.

Drake: I think I see him coming.

Lloyd: Aw man...

Icion: HI GUYS, I'M BACK FROM THE HOSPITAL!

Everyone: Damnit.

Mithos: GODDAMN!

Icion: Hey, Sheena, what's your bra size?

Sheena: WHAT THE HELL? (pounds living daylights out of Icion)

Anna: Is it because of Icion that Lloyd turned out stupid?

Lloyd: Mother... (crying)

Kadaj: Did someone say "Mother"?

Cloud: Get the hell over here. I'm not done beating the shit out of you. (drags Kadaj away)

Ed: (appears with chainsaw)

Dom: Ed, don't kill innocent people.

Ed: Oh, c'mon, they're asking for it!

Dom: Ed... (exasperated)

Largo: Yo, dudes. The undead are swarming Tokyo again.

Ed/Dom: (both leave)

Lyall: ...Wow. OK, Drake, the disclaimer.

Drake: ...Huh? Oh, right, right. LyallAurion does not own Tales of Symphonia. Namco does. She also does not own Naruto, Megatokyo, FF VII, and other cameos that have appeared.

---''---

Lloyd and Genis barely made it to Iselia. They severely needed medical attention, but no one was in the village. Remember, Botta shot them all out of love for Twinkies and disregard to his health.

PUBLIC COMMERCIAL: Never eat too many sweets, or you will get sick and die like Vidarr.

Just then, Lloyd and Genis hear voices in Colette's house. They slowly and painfully crawled over there. There was a lot of commotion, including cursing, yelling, and shattering.

"YOU DAMN BASTARD BITCH OF A CHOSEN! I'D KILL YOU IF I WASN'T PAID SO WELL!" Kratos yelled in fury at the dumbass blonde and threw the window pane at her.

The window pane hit Colette on the head. "I thought you loved meee!" Colette said in tears and had a head that had blood gushing out.

"What am I, gay?" Kratos replied.

"YOU'RE SOOO MEAN! MEANIE!" Colette cried.

"WHO GIVES A DAMN CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK?" Kratos yelled yet again.

"I'M LEAVING!" Colette yelled and ran outside. She slammed the door. She then saw Lloyd and Genis, wounded. On the floor. Practically begging for help. Colette was too stupid and dense to notice the very obvious cuts and bruises and blood stains on the two boys. Strangely, Colette's head wasn't bleeding anymore. Damn.

"Oh, hiya, guys!" Colette said cheerfully. "You seem healthy."

"THIS LOOKS HEALTHY?" Genis screamed, pointing to the cuts on him.

"What were you screaming about in your house?" Lloyd inquired.

"Oh...that. Well, my daddy said that Professor Raine and Kratos are going to come with me on the regeneration journey. I then said 'Okies', and then Kratos got all mad and was yelling and stuffs," Colette explained. "Now I have forever vengeance against that redhead bastard. Yay!"

"Yeah yeah, JUST HEAL US FOR MARTEL'S SAKE!" Genis yelled.

"Oopsie. I don't have any healing items," Colette said sadly (not). She was actually secretly snickering.

"THEN WHAT'S THAT?" Lloyd yelled at Colette, pointing to some Gels that Colette was holding.

"Uh...TURTLE POOP!"

"YEAH RIGHT!"

She then watched Lloyd and Genis die of blood loss.

"MWAHAHAHAHA!" Colette laughed evilly.

Kratos came out and then stared in utter horror. "BITCH, WHAT THE FREAKING HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SON? BESIDES MY WIFE, HE WAS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON I ACTUALLY LIKED! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO TO YOU NOW? MWAHAHAHAHA!" Kratos yelled (and laughed maniacally).

All of a sudden, Lyon came with a gun.

"DIE, BITCH!" he screamed at Colette and repeatedly shot her with his gun. Colette died and luckily forgot about what Kratos said earlier. Then Lyon tossed her corpse into the nearby well and ran off into the woods.

"I'M SEXY, BITCH!" he screamed. Then Kratos heard a chainsaw and more of Lyon's yelling.

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN, ZOMBIE GRANNY!"

Largo appeared with a crossbow and ran into the forest.

"DIE, UNDEAD!" he hollered. A few gunshots and crossbow arrows later, the chainsaw-wielding zombie granny died, and Lyon and Largo then disappeared.

Kratos went back inside.

A female Clavat appeared out of the blue and used a Phoenix Down on each Lloyd, Genis, and Colette, thus restoring their life. Why Colette...?

"Yay, I'm alive! Woot!" Lloyd cheered.

"Yay!" cheered Genis.

"Squee!" cried Colette.

"Eww," Lloyd and Genis said in unison.

"Oh yeah, because I'm a bitch, you guys have to give me birthday presents. GIMME THE PRESENTS!" Colette said, then yelled.

"Uh, here's some cookies that are full of sugar so you can die--uh, I mean, here, Colette," Genis said and handed Colette a packet of cookies that had twelve times the lethal dose of sugar.

"YAY! LLOYD, GIMME!" Colette screamed.

"Uh...I...uh...erm...NOISHE ATE IT!" Lloyd said in a pathetic attempt to lie.

"Oh...THEN YOU BETTER GIVE IT TO ME LATER TODAY OR YOU'LL BE WALKIN' FUNNY FOR MONTHS, BUB! AND I'LL COME LATER TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE IT!" Colette yelled. She then went back inside her house.

"Before I see her again, I'm gonna go home," Lloyd stated.

"LEMME GO WITH YOU, YOU ASS!" Genis yelled in Lloyd's face.

"FINE!" Lloyd yelled back.

"OK, first I need to go to my house to pick up stuffs," Genis said.

"Why?"

"Just because."

"Fine. Jeez."

Lloyd and Genis went to Genis's house. Genis went inside and took some stuff from a drawer.

"What are you getting?" asked Lloyd.

"Meh, you know, this and that." By "this and that", Genis meant special weaponry in case Raine decided to beat them. Again. He also got some food stuffs and something else.

"Hey, what's that?" Lloyd asked while pointing to the "something else."

"Erm, nothing! Just paper! Hehe...," Genis quickly said. "Lloyd, uh, why don't you wait outside?"

"Meh, fine."

Lloyd went outside. Genis then took out the "something else."

"Oh, Barney and Teletubbies sing-along DVDs, I will never forget you!" Genis said then stashed his prized DVDs in his knapsack. He also put the food, gels, bottles, pepper spray, Ghost-B-Gone, special things in case Raine showed up and beat them, pencils, paper, pens, crayons, markers, and a portable DVD player in the knapsack. He then went outside.

Lloyd was fishing in the little pond outside Genis's house.

"Uh, Lloyd, there's no fish in there," Genis said dully to Lloyd.

"No, then how'd I catch THIS?" said Lloyd, holding a Huchep.

Then the main character girl from Harvest Moon: Another Wonderful Life appeared.

"YOU TOOK MY FISH! THIEF!" she screamed and hit Lloyd with a hoe, then ran away. Lloyd got a huge bump on his head.

"Oww..."

"...Anyway, we need to go, Lloyd."

"Oww..."

Genis dragged Lloyd away using chopsticks. At the village entrance, there was a green and white doggy with big ears, also known as Noishe.

"Heya, Noishe!" greeted Lloyd. "TIME TO BE A DONKEY!"

Noishe whined in a scared tone. Apparently he didn't want to be a donkey.

"Shaddup!" Lloyd jumped on Noishe and dragged Genis up, too. Then they headed to the Iselia Forest.

Meanwhile in Iselia, Kratos, Raine, and Colette were done with their conversation and went somewhere else. Now there was no one to witness the upcoming event.

The mutant bird mentioned earlier in the series then randomly appeared. It started squacking and acting all freaky and stuff. Icion then appeared and pounded the bird to dust with his head.

"NOW YOU'RE FERTILIZER!" Icion screamed.

The main character guy from Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life appeared.

"Hey, I need fertilizer..."

"GO BACK TO KISSING YOUR COWS, BUB!" Icion shouted.

"Jeez, you have issues...," the guy muttered.

"Do you know how it feels to have a sword wiggling in your stomach, cutting every vital organ in half?"

"Uh, no."

"YOU'RE GONNA IF YOU DON'T LEAVE!"

"Sheesh..." The guy disappeared randomly, as cameos usually do.

Icion then started foaming and used a warp to go back to Niflheim.

Meanwhile, in the closed Martel Temple...

"Hello? Is anyone there? I'm getting hungry...," Frank whined. "It's getting dark...I hear something..."

---''---

Lyall: ...Erm, that really wasn't funny. Sorry.

Icion: It bites...MY ASS!

Genis: Ah, shaddup.

Icion: I'M TELLING MOTHER!

Kadaj: Hi.

Cloud: God, just stop doing this. (drags Kadaj away)

Everyone: (sweatdrop)

Drake: Hey, I found this girl who looks like a girl in one of my manga. (gets Zefie)

Zefie: ...

Lloyd: Hey, little gi--

Zefie: TASTE MY FIST! (punches Lloyd with boxing gloves)

Lloyd: (crippled on the ground)

Raine: (healing Lloyd)

Colette: She's so cute!

Sheena: Yeah, but she has issues. (gets punched by Zefie)

Raine: Oh Martel... (now healing Sheena)

Rodyle: I SHALL USE HER TO POWER MY MANA CANNON!

Zelos: Yo, dude, you're supposed to be somewhere else. Or dead.

Rodyle: Oh, but I'm done with my base.

Director guy: Get lost, Rodyle.

Rodyle: Fine. (leaves)

Lyall: OK, uh, if you review, you get to play Pin the Tail on Noishe.

Noishe: (whining in fear)

Anna: You're gonna use Noishe?

Icion: Nah, it's called Smack the Donkey a.k.a. Noishe With a Metal Bat While He's Tied Up Dangling and Then You Kill Him. We'll use Lloyd next!

Noishe/Lloyd: (run away)

Lyall: ...How about they just get an apple?

Kratos: That's less drastic. (staring at Icion with a weird expression)