(Authoress Note)
Lyall: Hi people. This is the fourth chapter so far. Amazing. (bored)
Icion: (yawn)
Drake: ...Icion, stop drooling on She-- (Sheena beats the crap out of Icion)
Sheena: AND STAY DEAD! (very mad) (leaves to clean clothes)
Zelos: Allow me to help yo-- (gets hit in the head with a pair of scissors) (blood gushing out of head) (twitching)
Drake: So, is that why you have red hair?
Raine: (sigh) First Aid! (heals Zelos)
Zelos: Why thank you, my beautiful hunny!
Raine: ...
Icion: (wakes up in pain) MOTHER FUCK!
Kadaj: Hi.
Genis: Are you gonna keep doing that whenever someone says "Mother"?
Kadaj: Duh. (punches Genis into brick wall)
Genis: Oww... (loses consciousness)
Raine: Oh no! (takes Genis to doctor)
Lyall: Uh, Kadaj, go back to FF VII.
Kadaj: Where's Mother?
Kratos: (kicks Kadaj into anthill) Idiot.
Kadaj: (in a fight with Kratos)
Lyall: ...OK, we need to get that weirdo outta here.
Icion: Hey, hey, I found dudes! (drags Dom and Ed)
Dom: (takes out gun)
Ed: (takes out electric chainsaw)
Dom/Ed: (mauling Icion)
Largo: Y0, D0M, 3D, 7H47 15 50 F5K1N9 K00L. W3 N33D 2 G37 B4K B3(4U53 Z0M8135 4R3 G0NN4 R35P4WN 500N.
Dom: Fine. Let's go, Ed.
Ed: Damn... HOLY SHIT! (gets mauled by girls)
Dom/Ed/Largo: (leave)
Icion: (puts newly acquired bomb on head)
Lloyd: Er, where did you get that?
Icion: From this green dude.
Link: Hey, gimme my bomb back! You're gonna hurt yourself!
Icion: (lights bomb)
Link: ...Everyone, step back.
Everyone: (steps back)
Icion: MWAHAHAHA!
Lyall: DRAKE, DISCLAIMER QUICK!
Drake: LyallAurion does not own ToS. Now we have to-- (Icion explodes) Er, never mind.
Link: NOOOO, MY PRECIOUS BOMBS! NOW HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KILL KING DODONGO AND DESTROY THE SLAB OUTSIDE JABUN'S CAVE?
---''---
OK, Lloyd and Smarty-Pants went to the Iselia Forest blah blah blah. This place is really boring.
"Lloyd, drop me off at the Human Ranch, OK?" Genis asked stupidly.
"Sure, Genis!" Lloyd answered cheerfully, too stupid that he forgot that they weren't supposed to go there. Who cares?
Anyway, they fought enemies, got stuff out of treasure chests, and Lloyd died once. Big deal. Anyway, they reached the Save Point.
"Ooh, shiny...," Lloyd said, mesemerized by the Save Point's shiny light. He started approaching it.
"OK, Lloyd, I have to now risk my life to give an old hag some food for community service," Genis announced and started to leave, but he heard Lloyd scream in horror, pain, and want of chicken legs.
OK, backing up a bit, when Lloyd was really close to the Save Point, Kalle Demos appeared and ate Lloyd. Lloyd then started yelling, but died. Again. Twice in this evil forest. WHY MUST THE GOOD SUFFER! (cough) Sorry.
Back to the story, Genis saved Lloyd by imitating a chicken leg, making Kalle Demos barf out Lloyd out of disgust because he was allergic to chicken legs and would have unimaginably large, itchy, hairy pimples break out. Kalle Demos then went back to the Forbidden Woods, in hopes to eat a Korok named Makar and later get killed by a boy named Link.
Back to the storyline. OK, Beavis and Butthead (a.k.a. Lloyd and Genis...or the other way around, if you want) went to the Iselia Human Ranch, holding hands and skipping like schoolgirls.
"Lloyd, we're going over to that place, see?" Genis said, pointing to where Marble was.
"EWW, IS THAT A PRUNE?" Lloyd gasped in absolute horror.
"NO, IT'S MARBLE!" Genis yelled.
"Last time I checked, marbles weren't wrinkly and smelly," Lloyd said in a smart fashion and suddenly was wearing glasses and a professor outfit.
"LLOYD, DON'T MAKE ME TURN YOU IN!" Genis hollered.
"Fine, so we give the (coughcoughprunecoughcough) some food, right?" Lloyd was back in his normal clothes.
"That's the plan!"
How the ranch guards did not hear Lloyd and Genis is beyond me. Anyway, they went over to Marble. Marble (a.k.a. the Prune to Lloyd) and Genis were now talking about the oracle and the Tower of Salvation. Lloyd was busy picking his nose when all of a sudden he saw Marble's Exsphere.
"Hey, is that an Exsphere without a Key Crest? That can be da--err, you'll be fine," Lloyd said hastily and looked away. "Heh, poor granny," he snickered under his breath.
"See, Marble, you'll be fine," Genis said happily.
"Are you sure? I feel my mana being sucked into this rock," Marble said worriedly.
"I feel so bad for that Exsphere. It has to be attached to a prune...," Lloyd grimaced. Apparently, he felt more sorry for a rock than a person, though Exspheres aren't really rocks. That's besides the point.
"Hey, jackass, get over here!" a random Desian guy yelled at Marble.
"Oh no! Lloyd, Genis, run!" Marble warned.
"Oh come on, how tough can--" Lloyd started but Genis dragged him behind bushes.
They watched as the Desian people took Marble behind a corner.
"Shit, we can't see!" Lloyd said.
"Let's try to go to higher ground, then," Genis replied.
"OK, you're the donkey!" Lloyd yelled and jumped on Genis's shoulders.
Poor Genis had to carry Lloyd all the way up that cliff, getting an Orange Gel along the way. At the top of the cliff, Genis's spine broke and he died of internal bleeding. Lloyd then moaned and reluctantly used a Life Bottle. Genis then nearly throttled Lloyd. Those two then calmed down and watched in horror (or amusement, in Lloyd's case) as the Desians started whipping Marble with...well, whips.
"How horrible!" Genis gasped.
"MWAHAHAHAHA!" Lloyd cackled, exactly like Kratos last chapter. Like father, like son, as the saying goes.
"Lloyd! We have to save her, you dumbass, or the story won't go properly!"
"Fine, but the authoress COULD just make a new plot...," Lloyd whined.
No, I'm not doing that. You're gonna save Marble, Lloyd, whether you like it or not. Besides, I'm gonna screw up the plot anyway later.
"HEY!"
Hey, you're not supposed to hear me!
"Uh, we can," Genis said boredly. "Can we hurry up?"
Oops. (cough) OK, Lloyd and Genis then thought up of that idea (I'm too lazy to type it out). Before they could carry out their plan, Lloyd chucked Genis and his swords at the Desians. One Desian died because one of the swords pierced his heart, Genis's weight killed the other, and the other sword killed a random bystander. That other one Desian died of stroke. How lucky.
Genis now had a very painful headache. Lloyd jumped down and went all ninja and used Genis as a human shield to fend off of the Desian reinforcements. After Lloyd got bored of being all ninja and Genis was dead, Forcystus arrived. Genis then magically got resurrected by Aerith. Lloyd then got his swords back and went into a fighting stance. Genis was a few meters behind Lloyd, kendama at the ready.
"Hey, you two are invading my ranch!" Forcystus yelled.
"Ah, shaddup!" Lloyd shot back.
"You two broke the alliance treaty! How could you?"
"Who cares? Everyone in Iselia is dead!"
"Sweet! Now I get more vacation time!" Forcystus exclaimed. "OK, I'll save killing you chumps if you give me a box of Twinkies."
Lloyd and Genis got sweatdrops.
"...Why...?" Genis asked.
"Um, well...you see...Botta has been sending me threat letters if I don't give him the monthly amount of Twinkies, and...erm, I don't have some for this month," Forcystus said in a dorky manner while twiddling his thumbs.
"Fine," Lloyd said and tossed the magical box of Twinkies to Forcystus.
"Thanks! Now scram or I'll get to test my new gun."
Lloyd and Genis got out of the ranch, and Genis went elsewhere. I dunno, I just remember that Lloyd is alone at this point. I think. Meh, who cares?
Lloyd just fought stuff and got stuff. He eventually reached Dirk's House.
---''---
Lyall: That sucked because my brain's mush, and my brother didn't help much, so this is mostly my horrible way of presenting "funny". Oh yeah, next chapter is how I make Dirk ruin the rest of the plot! Woot!
Lloyd: I'm such a dork in this story...
Genis: That's not new. (gets hit) Ow!
Lloyd: Shut it, Genis.
Icion: Yeah, Genis, shut it.
Genis: Icion, you know what? ATLAS!
Icion: (gets hit by Atlas) (unconscious)
Sheena: Good job, Genis!
Zelos: Yes, the brat finally does something useful.
Genis: HEY!
Mithos: I'm not a femboy!
Lloyd: Riiiight, sure you aren't...as if.
Mithos: GRR...INDIGNATE JUDGMENT!
Lloyd: (unconscious)
Kratos: (beats the stuffing out of Mithos)
Martel: OMG, MITHOS! (makes sure that Mithos is okay)
Lyall: ...Anyway, whoever reviews gets popsicles in five different flavors and in the shapes of Kratos, Yuan, Mithos, Martel, and Noishe.
Drake: Cool. (takes one)
Lyall: Oh yes, now you guys can request cameos as either you appearing or some other person from another place. I may not know the characters, so you may have to tell me a scenario in which to put them and what they say (if I don't know them). Sorry!