(Authoress Note)
Lyall: OK, this is where my brother and I screw up the plot. Starting from this point, the story won't be exactly the same as displayed in the game. PWNAGE! Oh ya, since I didn't want to wait forever for people to request stuff, I just did this story with The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker stuff in it, since someone wanted it.
Icion: When do I make my guest appearance?
Lyall: Hmm...after Lloyd kills--um, the readers shouldn't know that yet. Heheh. Well, somewhere in Tethe'alla.
Icion: Really? I'm bored. I wish Lloyd would kill Alte--err...I LIKE POOP! (runs off)
Lyall: Gee, thanks for ruining the surprise...
Kratos: That is why you shouldn't tell secrets to Icion.
Zelos: Hey, where's Sheena?
Sheena: (arrives)
Zelos: Ooh, Sheena, lookin' hot!
Sheena: (kicks Zelos in the shin)
Zelos: OW! (in pain)
Lyall: OK, now I need Drake to do the very boring disclaimer.
Drake: Uh, wha? Huh? Oh yeah, the disclaiming...thing. Um, eh, how did it go again...? Oh yeah. LyallAurion does not own Tales of Symphonia.
---''---
"DAD, I'M HOME!" Lloyd yelled in a overly loud and obnoxious voice.
Dirk then had an evil look in his eyes. "Dad! I'm not your dad! I'm working with the Desians to earn extra Gald! I'm gonna kill you!" With that said, Dirk got out boxing gloves that randomly appeared in thin air and then tried to kill Lloyd by punching him into the spikes lining the walls. When did Dirk get his house carpented I do not know. Last time I checked, he didn't have spikes.
"AAAH!" Lloyd screamed as he narrowly dodged a punch. "WHY YOU TRYIN' TO HIT ME?" Lloyd then ran outside like the wuss he is.
When he went outside, he saw Colette, Genis, Raine, Kratos, and a Dark ChuChu that was bug-eyed and just stood there, looking at Genis's shoes with a very blank and spacey look.
"Uhh, I guess you guys heard that," Lloyd said.
"Yep! Your foster dad is an evil Desian trying to kill you! Now you have no home and no one else that cares about you!" Colette said in a very happy voice.
"FUCK YOU!" Kratos screamed at Colette while flicking her off. Colette then started sobbing. Kratos was now on his last string of sanity, so he chucked Colette into the nearby river and Colette sank down to the bottom of the river. Gyorgs started to swim around her.
"Ooh! Hi, Mr. Fishy!" Colette greeted a Gyorg. It just got out a butcher knife.
Anyways...
"Don't worry, Lloyd! I care about you!" Genis said in a cheery tone.
"Eww, you're gay! GET AWAY!" Lloyd yelled and got out a flamethrower. He then started torching anything in a five-meter radius. "STAY AWAY!" Lloyd's right eye was twitching and he was suddenly in a caveman outfit.
"Martel, why have you left me with these abhorrent, deranged simpletons...?" Kratos lamented to the heavens. Poor Kratty. Eww, I hate the nickname "Kratty". (cough)
All of a sudden, the roof of Dirk's house opened and Dirk flew out, wearing a Superman cape and in a flying pose. There was also some of that superhero background music playing.
"OMGAFLYINGDWARFTHISHASNEVERBEENDOCUMENTEDMUSTSTUDY!" Raine screeched.
"Uhh, what in the name of all that is good and chewy is THAT?" Genis said while pointing to the Dark ChuChu. For some reason, it was now wearing a top hat. As you know, in the Wind Waker, Dark ChuChus hate light. It was very sunny this day. Hmm, maybe a record. Meh, I dunno. Now, back to this story-thing. Oh yeah, Lloyd has normal clothes now.
Genis then tried to hit the oh-so-blobby blob with his kendama, but the thing just regenerated itself.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING?" Genis cried.
"MUST STUDY!" Raine yelled in a maniacal voice (with twitching, red eyes attached) and tried to grab the ChuChu. Before she could touch it, the ChuChu slinked into the dark shadows of some trees in a very creepy manner, so you could only see its glowing, still bug-eyed eyes.
"Let's play tag...and I'M it...," the Dark ChuChu said very creepily and then was holding a machete that was stained with blood. It then sunk into the ground and poofed. Everyone was staring freakishly (even Kratos! GASP!) at where it used to stand.
"Aaaanyway...Lloyd, can we go to the terrace?" Colette asked.
"Nah, not feelin' it...," Lloyd yawned.
Colette's head tilted down and her eyes started glowing red. She then whipped out the machete that the ChuChu had earlier.
"OH FINE SHEESH! Can I talk to everyone else first...?" Lloyd whimpered.
"Okay!" Colette said and went to sit on a bench.
Lloyd took his pulse and pinched himself, then headed over to Genis.
"Hey, Lloyd, c'mere!" Genis yelled.
"Meh, fine, hold your horses."
Lloyd went over.
"See, Mr. Leaf, this is Lloyd," Genis said while twitching slightly.
Lloyd got a "...".
"Mr. Brick, this is Lloyd," Genis said in a very squeaky and creepy voice, while twitching madly.
"Genis, do you have Parkinson's disease...or something?" Lloyd asked while inching away. Yes, Lloyd is smart enough to know that Genis was about to break.
Genis screamed evilly and got lit on fire. The fire was so great that Lloyd had to shield his eyes. When the fire died down, Genis was no longer there. There even wasn't any ashes. Lloyd screamed like a little priss and ran to Raine. Her back was facing him.
"PROFESSOR, GENIS JUST--!" Lloyd started, but Raine slowly turned to face him. Her eye was twitching.
"Erm, Professor...?" Lloyd squeaked.
"Need...happy place...," Raine said in a very creepy way (lots of creepy here). Raine's whole body then turned strikingly white. She then fell to the ground and slowly materialized into nothingness. Lloyd screamed at the top of his lungs and ran to Kratos. Colette, being the dumb blonde she is, was too busy naming her toes to notice the craziness. Hell, I think she shut off her ears, too, if that's possible.
"KRATOSKRATOSYOU'RETHEONLYSANEONELEFT!" Lloyd sobbed behind Kratos and fell to his knees and hands.
"Get a grip, you dumbass," Kratos calmly told Lloyd.
"OK." Wow, Lloyd recuperated fast.
"Hmm, is Anna your mother?" Kratos asked.
"Ya," Lloyd answered.
"...Then who is your father?"
"Well, I don't think he's alive. Heh, if he was, he'd look like he was tossed into washer for seven months."
Kratos then twitched madly. 'Oh why you little ingrate...' Kratos then got a hold of himself and calmed down. "Shouldn't you meet the Chosen?"
Lloyd got a disgusted look. "Oh Martel, NO! She's as smart as a retarded chipmunk!" Lloyd then went to meet Colette. Smart, Lloyd, smart...
Anyway, Lloyd and the dumb blonde went up to the terrace. Yes, I really do hate Colette. I hate her as much as I hate spiders... (shudders)
Back to Lloyd and Colette.
"Hey, Lloyd, wanna come with me on the journey?" Colette asked sweetly, possibly seductively. Wait, I don't think she's capable of that high level of thinking. (cough) Sorry.
"Eww, if you're there, no!" Lloyd said, horrified.
"OK, we'll be leaving at 9 a.m. sharp!" Colette chirped.
"All right!" Lloyd yelled and punched the air. Wow, he forgot already. Yes, he is an idiot, isn't he?
"Oh yeah, since I'm a dumb blonde and a bitch, WHERE'S MY PRESENT?" Colette yelled.
"Um, well, I didn't...finish...it," Lloyd admitted, aware of an upcoming beating.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Colette screamed and side-kicked Lloyd off of the terrace.
Lloyd went unconscious when he hit his head on the ground.
Kratos then jumped up to Colette and started screaming in her face.
"YOU BITCH! YOU JUST KICKED MY SON OFF OF A LEDGE AND CALLED MY WIFE A BITCH!"
Kratos then got one of Colette's feet.
"You seem very fond of your toes, very attached to them," Kratos said with an evil smirk. He then...(gasp) ripped off Colette's left big toe. No blood came out because she is a bimbo. Yes, Sasuke says this to Zaku. Yep, I borrowed that phrase. Yep, I just changed "arms" to "toes". Yep yep.
"OH NO, BOBBY!" Colette screamed.
Kratos then stomped on Colette's other big toe, breaking it.
"NOT ANDREAAAA!" Colette cried.
Kratos then smacked her off the terrace because stupid was leaking out of Colette. Kratos then shuddered at the sight of the stupid.
Colette fell with a thud. Raine randomly walked out from behind a bush.
"Professor, please help!" Colette begged.
"WHY THE HELL SHOULD I? THAT'D BE WASTING MANA! YOU'LL BE FINE, IT'LL REGROW!" Raine yelled at Colette. She did heal the broken toe, though.
Yes, now that toe is gonna be the reason that Colette trips. Heheheheh...MWAHAHAHA! (being maniacal) (cough) I'm really sorry. (bows)
Now Kratos, Colette, and the overreactive half-elf left, and Lloyd eventually regained consciousness and went inside the house. Remember, Dirk flew the coop. Literally.
---''---
Lyall: Sorry, that stunk. Well, in my opinion. OF COURSE IT SUCKS, SO SHUT UP!
Everyone: (backs off)
Lyall: (cough) Sorry. I'm just irritated at Icion.
Icion: (doodling on walls)
Lloyd: Hey, I fall off of the terrace? That's not nice...
Colette: So? I get a toe ripped off! That's mean.
Kratos: And I'm a total nuthead.
Genis: So? I get caught on fire!
Raine: At least you don't turn pale and disappear.
Lyall: As you can see, the characters are complaining, and I forgot about cameos pretty early. Oops.
Mithos: MWAHAHAHAHA!
Yuan: Stop that, Mithos.
Mithos: Ah, shaddup, blueberry head.
Yuan: ...Blueberry head. How creative. It must have taken you forever to think of that. (sarcastic)
Mithos: DON'T YOU BE SARCASTIC WITH ME, DOOFUS!
Anna: Mithos, who teaches you manners?
Mithos: ...My sis.
Anna: Then she should do a better job.
Martel: Hey, it's not my fault, you know. I'm the good one!
Mithos: Sis...! (crying)
Zelos: Nyaha.
Drake: Um, "nyaha"?
Zelos: Drake, you ruined it. Good going, puffball.
Drake: Hey, back off.
Lyall: (cough) Anyway, you can still request cameos and stuff. Whoever reviews will get a very chocolatey cookie.
Icion: ME WANT COOKIE!
Regal: You already eat too much sugar. No.
Icion: But, I'm as skinny as a stick.
Presea: ...True.
Genis: ...I break sticks. (gets evil eyes)