Chapter Eight

Stephanie spent the next week reflecting on what happened with Kurt that past weekend. She remembered how uncomfortable he looked when she had removed his hand from her face. It was the face of someone who had been rejected. She had pushed him away when he was simply trying to be there for her in her time of need.

Stephanie knew why she had rejected Kurt's touch. His hand caressing her face was a comfort; it had soothed her yet at the same time reminded her of Paul. The classic butterflies in the stomach feeling that used to be all too familiar with her husband. It scared the shit out of her. Was she already subconsciously replacing Paul? She had promised herself to try and pick up the pieces of her shattered life but was she supposed to have romantic feelings for another guy? Could she just forget about Paul, Adriana and the happy family they were? No. It wasn't that simple. It couldn't be.

Steph held her cell phone in her hands. She was debating on whether or not to call him. What would she say to him? Sorry I made you feel like a complete ass only a few yards from my entire family?

She quickly flipped open her cell phone. The cell address book provided Kurt's cell number. She hit send. A few rings, a deep breath. Kurt's voice was heard on the other end.

"Hey this is Kurt, I'm not here right now but if you leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Steph quickly ended the call. Hearing Kurt's recorded voice only raised the guilt she already felt. She couldn't bring herself to leave him a message. Stephanie didn't know how to even begin to explain herself.

"Well, did you talk to him?"

Stephanie looked to the door way to her room and saw her mother in the doorway. Steph shook her head as he mother joined her sitting on the bed.

"I tried calling him. It was his voice mail; I just couldn't bring myself to leave a message. I don't even know what I want to say to him." Steph admitted.

"Just tell him how you feel." Linda suggested.

Steph gently placed the cell phone on the antique oak end table next to her bed. She took a deep breath and sighed.

"I don't think I can call him, Mom. He's been one of my best friends. I don't think I could bare to know how much I've hurt and embarrassed him." Stephanie said, her face showing a look of dismay.

"Why don't you sleep on it, sweetheart? Thinks always tend to be clearer in the morning. A good night of sleep will make you feel better."

What Linda said would have been true, but Stephanie was unable to sleep peacefully. The bed sheets twisted and wrapped around her body as she tossed and turned. Her dreams were fragmented memories of the past few months. Steph's face contorted in pain, her jaw tightened as she moaned aloud. The night the police officer came to her about the news of her husband and child's death, the funeral, Angle's rejected attempt to reach out to her. All the pain of the past months was flooding back during her slumber.

Then suddenly Stephanie dreamt of Kurt unlike before. It was different then what she had already dreamt for it had nothing to do with her past grief or so she thought. He was in the rented SUV he had driven up to Connecticut in. She was watching him drive as if she were in the passenger seat next to him. There was complete silence. Not even the engine of the automobile could be heard. Steph was studying his face which slowly began to change. It was if everything was in slow motion as Kurt's eyes slowly widened and his hands firmly grasped the steering wheel. His beautiful blue eyes were full of fear. Steph, still in slow mo, turned her head in the direction Angle was looking. She looked just in time to see a careening tractor trailer smash into the front of the SUV.

The grueling impact made her slam back to reality as she jolted to a sitting position in bed. Stephanie was hyperventilating; her eyes wide open in the darkness. She brought her right hand to her face which was drenched in sweat. Steph sat in the darkness of her room as she tried her best at collecting her thoughts. She had just witnessed Kurt being killed just like Paul and Adriana. It was a nightmare.

"Just a dream" she told herself as she wiped the sweat off her brow. Her heart pounded in her chest, her pulse fluttering. She couldn't get the horrifying image of Kurt's terrified face; the face of a man who was about to meet his death.

Steph was able to deal with the resurfacing of her painful memorizes. It hadn't been the first time she had dreamt about Paul and Adriana's death. Witnessing Kurt being killed the same way caught Stephanie completely off guard. What did it all mean? Steph wasn't exactly sure. All she knew was that she had to see Kurt to tell him how she felt. The thought of losing Kurt Angle scared the shit out of her. This only further solidified how much Angle's friendship meant to her. How could she ever express to him how deeply she cared and how sorry she was?